Lois & Clark Forums Forums Superman In Other Canon Superman In Other Canon Fanfic Twelve Steps From Smallville 46/57 (Smallville & the Superman movies)

Three days later, Clark came by at closing time. Actually, the Planet never closed, but Perry tended to work during the day and head home about six p.m. Now that he had reconciled with Alice, Perry made an effort to be home on a regular basis and spend time with her.

Clark looked depressed. "Can I talk with you, Perry?"

Perry shot a glance at the younger man. Clark seemed unusually down. "Sure."

"Do you mind heading to one of the conference rooms?" Clark asked.

"No," Perry said slowly. Clark must have wanted more privacy. He did his usual thing, handing over responsibility to the night editor, and followed Clark into one of the small rooms off the main floor."

"Lex Luthor woke from his coma today," Clark said flatly.

Well, that explains why Clark's parade has just been rained on, thought Perry. "That's interesting," Perry said slowly. "From what I heard, the doctors didn't think that would happen." He sat down as Clark began pacing nervously, constrained by the small dimensions of the room.

"Yes," Clark said. "But…"

"What?" Perry asked.

"I did it," Clark blurted out.

"You?" Perry asked. "Do you have Lois' healing ability, or something?"

Clark looked even more glum. "No."

"Go on," Perry prompted. "And stop pacing, you're making me dizzy watching you."

Clark didn't smile at the acerbic tone that he'd come to know concealed Perry's soft heart. He did settle down into a chair, though.

"OK," Clark said. "OK." He seemed disinclined to start.

"OK?" Perry repeated in an encouraging tone.

"OK. Um, well, I was really afraid of what Luthor would remember," Clark said in a low voice. "And I did something I'm ashamed of."

Perry raised his eyebrows. Clark in both his personas lived the most upright life he'd ever seen. Perry found it hard to conceive of him doing something shameful.

Clark responded to Perry's unspoken question. "I know I said I hated what these glasses do," he took the offending articles off his face and set them quietly on the table, "and, after what happened to Lois, I said I would never use them again."

"Uh-huh," Perry said.

"And then my son is threatened, and all of that goes out the window," Clark said, even more quietly.

Perry could understand where this was going.

"So you went to the hospital to see Lex Luthor," he prompted.

"Yes." Clark seemed to gather himself. "I was able to get past the police guard without detection."

Of course you were, Perry thought.

Clark went on. "And I was determined that Lex wouldn't remember anything about Jason, about what he had figured out."

"Go on," Perry said neutrally.

"This is the first time I've actually used the glasses where I've known what I'm doing," Clark explained. "So I went to…to…invade his mind," he choked out.

"And?" Perry asked. This was turning into an interesting, although disturbing, conversation.

"Lex wasn't there, if you know what I mean," Clark said. "The guiding spirit, or his soul, or whatever, just wasn't there. I guess all the injuries he had really damaged him."

"OK, that's good, then," Perry said soothingly.

"No!" Clark cried. "Because when I was….in there….it's like his mind knew it, or something, and it started resisting." He gave Perry a look without really seeing the editor. "When I take the memories, the mind fights it. I remember that with you, even though I didn't realize it until now."

Perry thought back to the dark room with all the marbles, where he tried to pick up a marble and the unseen force gently pried it out of his hand and threw it away. Perry nodded his head. He didn't trust himself to speak. He still had resentment over that episode.

"And I was pushing to take away all the knowledge of Jason, and I was pushing, and his mind was fighting back, and it's like the effort of fighting brought Lex back," Clark said dully.

"So," Perry said.

"So, if I'd just left well enough alone, Lex would have never woken up!" Clark said vehemently. "But I had to make sure, even though I knew I was doing something wrong!" The animation left his face. "And I'll pay for it somehow."

"So, your actions in attempting a memory wipe are what brought Lex Luthor out of his coma?" Perry asked incredulously, sitting up straight in his chair. He took refuge in reporter-speak, making a flat statement and asking for confirmation.

"Yes," Clark said bitterly.

Perry leaned back and whistled. "Wow," he said.

Clark only put his head in his hands, looking miserable.

The implications gradually dawned on Perry. He dropped the reporter persona and gently clapped Clark on the back. "Clark, I can understand why you did it," he said. "I would do anything for my kids. Anything. And you're protecting Jason…."

"Superman has to have unbreakable ethics," Clark said, muffled, not looking up.

"Uh-huh," Perry said cautiously.

"The minute he shows his ethics might be negotiable, people will lose trust in him," said Clark, lifting his head from his hands and becoming animated. Obviously he felt strongly about this.

"Well, um, that's true," Perry said. And a good thing he does have those ethics, he thought.

"And here I go breaking those rules for my own convenience," Clark said.

"Clark, if you're looking for absolution, only you can give it to yourself," Perry said. He understood more now, of the crisis of spirit that had brought Clark to the one man to whom he could unburden his soul. "But let me run it by you. Yes, Superman does have to have unbreakable ethics. And he does. But Clark Kent is a guy with a family. Maybe not a family that everyone knows about, but he has a kid. A child who needs protecting," Perry continued, his voice soft but at the same time, firm. "And Clark Kent, like any other guy with an ounce of spine, is going to protect his son." He laid his hands flatly on the table. "It's only human."

"But I'm not – " Clark began.

"Don't say it!" Perry retorted. "Clark, you're human in every way that counts." He caught the younger man's gaze and held it, until Clark finally gave a reluctant smile and looked away.

"The important thing is," Perry went on, "did you take care of Luthor's memories of Jason?"

"Yes," Clark admitted.

"All right then," Perry said. "Luthor woke up," he said, inviting comment.

"That's what I'm really concerned about," Clark admitted. "I know he'll come back somehow. You can't keep him down. He's always got some plan brewing."

"Then that's your penance," Perry said briskly.

"Penance?"

"You'll have to keep an eye on Luthor. He would have been safely confined to a hospital bed if you hadn't done…" Perry left Clark to fill in the blank. "Now, because of your actions, he'll be back."

"And I'll have to deal with him. I knew I'd have to pay," Clark whispered.

"Yes, you will, and the way the world works, it'll come at the most inconvenient time. And there'll be a high interest rate on that debt," Perry warned.

Clark shrugged. He gradually straightened, until Perry could see the Man of Steel underneath the ill-fitting business suit, Superman accepting a burden. "I'll pay it when it's due," Clark said.

"OK then," Perry returned. His devilish side came to the fore again, and he took on a teasing tone. "So, Clark, your actions were their own punishment?"

"In more ways than one," Clark said, smiling back just a little. Then he grimaced. "Getting into Lex Luthor's mind was like wading through a sewer."

Somehow Perry wasn't surprised to learn that about Luthor. "And you're not going to do anything like that again?" he asked.

Clark looked at the glasses with a moment of loathing. "No," he said.

"Then go and sin no more, my son," Perry said in mock solemnity.

Clark gave a tiny smile. He swallowed, obviously deciding against saying anything more. With a small nod of his head to Perry, Clark walked out of the room.

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Note: The line about Superman having unbreakable ethics and not negotiating them was stolen from Nan Smith's fic "Faces" .