OK this is something that came to me from no where as I was walking to work this morning I don't think that Clark would really be like this but i had to get it out of my head i hope you find it funny as that is all it is meant to be.
Typical Man
Lois Lane Kent got out of her Jeep Cherokee and opened the tail gate and took out three bags of groceries then climbed the steps to the brownstone she shared with her husband of three years and their 10 month old son Jonathan Samuel. She struggled to unlock the door then entered. Clark was sat on the floor surrounded by speakers and electrical equipment, there was a large wide screen T.V. almost as big as the picture window in the front room. Jonnie was sat in a large box which said DVD player and surround sound speakers, was chewing on some papers.
“Oh my god!” Lois exclaimed. “What is all this?” She puts the bags down and walks into the front room.
“It’s our new T.V. with DVD and surround sound Jimmy says it’s the ultimate in home entertainment, it’s like being at the movies.” Clark said with a grin on his face.
“Are you going to put in a soda machine and popcorn maker too?”
“Ha you wait you’ll love I got us all four Lethal Weapon films.”
“Why? We have them on VHS.”
“Yeah but the sound quality is excellent and they have loads of extra features.”
“What are you doing in there, ay?” She said to Jonnie and picked him out of the box and taking the leaflet from him.
“Oh he was getting in the way so I err put him in the box.”
“Tut, here do you want this it’s the instructions their a bit soggy.”
“Huh, Lois I dismantle bombs I think I can manage to hook a simple entertainment centre.”
“OK, come on Jonnie lets leave daddy to play with his new toy.” She carried Jonnie and one of the bags into the kitchen.
“Toy! Not a toy it’s highly sensitive audio, visual equiptment.”
“You keep telling your self that Kent.”
***
Much later Lois had one handled put away all the groceries while entertaining Jonnie. Clark had still not finished hook up the TV and DVD. Lois asked if he needed any help when he just growled at her she fed Jonnie and made dinner for her and Clark which he ate while working. She then bathed Jonnie and dressed him in a pair of Shrek pyjamas.
“There’s a young man who would like to say good night to his daddy.” Lois said.
“Oh yeah night sport.” Clark said. He kissed Jonnie on the cheek. Lois just shook her head.
“Come on darling I think that’s the best you’re going to get.” Lois said and carried him upstairs she read him a story and settled him down for the night.
Lois came down the stairs where Clark was no further along with the entertainment centre.
“Oh Clark are you not done yet I want to watch ER.”
“It’s a rerun.”
“Yes but it’s the one where George saves the boy in the storm drain.”
“I won’t be much longer.”
“Well I’m going to watch it upstairs.” She went upstairs.
***
Lois came down the stairs just after mid-night to see how Clark was coming a long.
“Are you coming to bed tonight?” She asked.
“No, no I’m finished.”
“Clark it’s after mid-night.”
“Come on the actors are almost life size.”
“Great Mel’s *** full size.”
“OK Three it is.” He puts the DVD in then sits down next to Lois. “You ready?”
“As ever.” Clark hits play and the titles play. “Clark it’s a little loud turn it down.” Clark points the remote at the TV but nothing happens. “Clark I’m serious turn it down it will wake Jonnie.”
“I’m trying.”
“Clark.” There is an explosion on TV and the glass in the cabinet smashes. Lois pulls the plug.
“I think it needs a bit of adjusting.” Clark said sheepishly Lois just shook her head and went upstairs.
“You are such a typically man.”
“That’s the nicest compliment you’ve paid me.” He grinned at her.
“Hey why don’t we call it a night and come to bed.” She grinned back at him he chased after her.
THE END
:rolleyes:
