Even more hysterical than just the first paragraph! Wow, that was some BAD fan fiction! And again, I must cry for poor, poor New Jersey (both western and eastern).
Ode to New Jersey:
It was a dark and stormy night in western New Jersey. It was just dark in eastern New Jersey, where the ocean stormed with jealousy at its California cousin. Western New Jersey was also storming with jealousy, because while it was the western part of New Jersey, it was not the western part of the United States. That would be California, which was bright and not stormy, because it rarely stormed in California. At least, it rarely stormed in Southern California. It did sometimes storm in Northern California. Northern California was not jealous of Southern California, because while it rarely stormed in Southern California, it was also rarely clear because of the persistant layer of smog. Northern California, having less poluting industry, had less smog, and therefore had more clear nights. Except when it stormed. But it was not a dark and stormy night in Northern California. It was dark and stormy in New Jersey (western, not eastern).
Susan
