LOIS: I think you're confusing me with a blonde reporter named Linda. I only write the truth.
PERRY: /that's right/ And then only when she can prove it to me and a pack of lawyers.
LOIS: /for some reason lawyers wanted more proof since a man starts flying the friendly skies/
CLARK: I agree with Lois. Sometimes the truth can't be proven.
MARTHA: We didn't *say* that.
JONATHAN: No. We thought it. But we're nice country folk and don't say such things out loud.
ER: Hence the washing of Clark’s mouth with dishsoap whenever he talked about his acquaintances with Lex?
Isn't dishsoap poisonous? Oh, wait, Kryptonian.
CLARK: I like the green one. It tastes like apples.
LOIS: I was talking real news, not fiction.
PEOPLE: We use boring news only for lining bird cages.
LOIS: Only boring people consider real news boring.
PERRY:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif)
Readers pay your salary, Lois.
LOIS: Doctored! Those aren't real photos!
CLARK: Um... isn't that flames coming out that window? Wasn't that the fire Superman put out last week?
DIRT DIGGER: “Superman has time for quicky while building is burning next door”
SUPERMAN: No... Lois was busy across... I mean, I certainly did not!
PERRY: Sure, I'll have my son Jerry write you out a check.
ER: Umm…isn’t it against the law to write checks you know will bounce?
PERRY: Ignorance is bliss. I don't know anything about that.
CLARK: I know what they are. I meant I don't watch shows with Marvel characters. <tries to keep it a secret that he likes the idea of a female Thor>
ER: (things one reads on the internet when one isn’t careful)
Wonder what Wonder Women would think about that.
NATIONAL WHISPER: Superman abandons DC for Marvel because their heroes are prettier.
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif)
I'm so dead.
SUPERMAN: I swear, Mr. White, WE haven't had sex yet. She can't be pregnant.
PERRY: Yet?
ER: What if Dan already knocked her up in that alt-verse?
But they didn't... She turned him down... Plus, I covered that it would make a time-anomaly.
LOIS: <can’t believe the single-mindedness of the people closest to her> Men! Pregnancy isn't the only thing that causes vomiting you know.
SUPERMAN: It isn't?
LOIS: No, Kryptonite (the alcoholic beverage) can induce it, too.
SUPERMAN: You know a female Kryptonian? Are YOU from Krypton Lois?
How come I never saw it?
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k020.gif)
Clark's the smart one.
/points to Bender's nephew from college/
LOIS: He wasn't a lawyer, per se, but it was in his blood. Taints the whole line.
ER: So, one shouldn’t mention to Lois that Clark had just admitted to having studied the practice of law?
No, she'd probably start off on a bunch of lawyer jokes.
Michael