Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Blind Date (1/1)

How unexpectedly lovely! And by "unexpectedly", I mean that I wasn't looking to read any stories on here tonight, but my finger slipped and hit the link for yours, so I just went with it. So glad I did!

The banter, witty repartee, immediate chemistry and plot twists were on point. My favorite part was the explanation of the first, second and third degree. Who knew?!? I always thought "the third degree" was just a saying, not based on actuality. Bonus points for teaching me something new, Virginia. And I, for one, really don't care about the Mayson/Dan side of the tale, but I would love to fast forward to their year anniversary and the revelation, whenever that would occur.

I actually have to work on the one for which I bid on Corrina’s beta skills. Umm…have to get started on that one, actually…

Definitely only after it’s done. /looks for mojo-at-home assembly kit/

Oh.



ANOTHER LOIS: I *knew* it! I *knew* there was madness to the method.


MAYSON:


LOIS: So, he’s flattered but won’t go for it? Darn. Another gay one. Ever since that visit to Gotham and me getting res- erm helped out by that black man in tights, who’s so obviously gay, all I do is attract gay men.

Well…Bruce could have done an undercover stint in Nepal and didn’t want to tell his reporter friend that he’s really Bruce Wayne?
BRUCE: And they think having *one* secret identity is hard to maintain.



LOIS: Is the EW suggesting something?
ER: No, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the current moon phase.





Maybe he should show her a photo of himself in just a towel?

Umm…a…umm…

Oh no you don’t! You stated perfectly ambiguously that Clark/Lois where wearing the red carnations. This could not have been a continuity mistake. Not from an EW routinely jumping around dimensions and times and not losing her breakfast along the way.
PREGNANT LOIS: No, that breakfast would be mine.

So this is the interrogation equivalent first, second, and third degree to the dating-scheme of getting to first, second, and third base?
Let’s see…
First date is first degree is verbal interrogation.
Second date is second degree is intensive observation.
Third date is third degree is manually enhanced interrogation.
Fourth date is fourth degree is execution of the convicted.

ACKBAR: It’s a trap!

In case he gets fresh but isn’t looking too dangerous so she can take her time with the incapacitation?

There’s reasonable doubt.

Oh. Duh!

What if the HRL was actually female? What’s Batgirl’s occupation again?

Alibi? So he has someone who can explain to the judges how it’s okay to keep his overseas-workforce in their pens like he does?

CLARK: But they make me think I’m walking on air!


HRL: That blonde bombshell took me to her cabin in the woods on our second date!





No, actually, she provided an amorous service to him, and Clark stated that he now owns her compensation. That it’s a favor and paid after the fact only means that Lois isn’t very experienced (yet) in that line of work.

But she can also bring him down with one knee-jerk reaction.
CLARK:
LOIS: Clark, what do you think of my new shiny green ankle bracelet? I bought it on a recent trip to Smallville when I did an expose on weed-farming that is apparently going on in the Midwest.



CLARK: That would be a ‘no’ then.
CAT:

Yes, but what if Clark had done it?
LOIS: That’s what filled-up wine glasses are for.


LOIS: Perry! I want a new partner. Someone a bit more experienced.
RALPH:



Yep. I can’t re-find it right now, but there’s quite a different palate in Easter Asia to what we are used to. Colleague of mine went on an South-China tour once and got to taste fried spider legs.

Yeah, he’s a keeper.
RALPH: Door mat.
CLARK: Hey, at least I get some!
LOIS:
CLARK: Okay, maybe not tonight, but still…

No, more fun during the chewing?



CLARK: So, according to that morning talk show I accidently watched, Lois Lane isn’t dating anyone. Even her best friend Linda calls her frigid. Now, if even that is an exaggeration, does that mean I will not have to worry about giving her the curse? Ever?

He thinking that you catch more Loises with chocolate than with Lex?

Hence the ‘not’

JAPANESE CHAP: Uncultured white guy…


BRUCE: What? I always thought how you ran away from every skirt that looked your way…?
LUCY: She really doesn’t like men.

Did she just accept? Maybe Clark should hurry up to close the deal?

So, Lois wouldn’t be mad that she has to wait about three years until she finally gets to consummate her marriage with Clark?
LOIS: If Canon-Lois could wait three years, I can, too! Now, where’s the chocolate



I don’t want to presume and like to keep my options open in case the road traveled is not the most obvious one? Or the second most obvious one. Or the third… no, it’s usually one of the first two ten times out of eleven (sic) Now, the gender-bender setup, that I might have made a joke about but never expected In this story. In a romcom setup dating story, OTOH,



That’s an…interesting logic.



Interesting. I always thought Lois was the one without a clue for spelling or proper structure (e.g. “The FBI said” instead of “An FBI spokesman” – LOIS: Spokeswoman! – “whatever… said”).

So, Perry would make sure she wouldn’t get recognition for exposing her boyfriend’s secrets? Is that the reason she flunked out of the Lex Luthor investigation?

Michael

More comments! Hmmmm. Maybe I should write more non-canon based stories.

John: Thanks for coming by to visit!
Because it was one of my stories?

Oh, you mean because I dropped a whole bunch of clues.

He arrived at the bar on time, but it took him a little time to get in. Then, again, Lois isn't known for her patience. Five minutes could seem like a lifetime to her.

I could see that happening if a third party came up with the idea.

CLARK: I would hope so!

It's in with my muse at the moment. We'll see if anything comes of it in her spare time.


Sue S.: *Sue!* /humbly/ Thank you for the comments.

Awww. Shucks. Thank you.

/Points to TOC forum/ Thanks. I stumbled across it when trying to find some artwork that Clark wear. I'm not a big fan of Picasso, but I do like his flowers. I wasn't familiar with this piece, so I figured others might not be as well, which is why I included a copy of the picture at the end of the story. I'm glad you enjoyed it.


magical: Thank you for reading.

I'm so glad that you liked it.

Thank you. It's been a while, so I figured I needed to stretch those muscles.

As you may or may not know, I'm fairly well known for my mixed up idioms. Actually, this idea came from Wrong Clark. My beta correct my "Fifth Degree" with "third degree" and I Googled it and saw this explanation. It sounded like something Lois and Clark would "discuss", but it didn't fit in the scene for Wrong Clark, so when I was trying to come up with conversation points, I used this idea here. Sometimes it's the wrong turn that will take you to the beautiful view.

Fast forward? /tugs at collar/ But that would mean jumping over a whole bunch of other possibilities for fun. It might be a several step process. I've got a lot on my plate on the moment.

I'm glad you all enjoyed this little alt-beginning.

Hey, Michael, sorry about the long response time on this. I'm trying to finish up this Investigation section of Wrong Clark and RL keeps hitting me over the head with a frying pan. I'll work on responding to your FDK-FDK-FDK this weekend. Forgive me.

Soooo, no?

/Searches for Austin Powers lost mojo/
Some you're one of those I'll post it when it's complete people now? That would be difficult for me.

No, *ME* The Writer, not the characters. They're more like take one step forward, fly west a state. Take one step forward. Fly west. They're somewhere over Asia at the moment.

CLARK: He's my best friend.
LOIS:

CLARK: Really? I think one secret identity is so 20th century. In the 21st, I'm going to have 3-4.

CLARK: She's a werewolf?

LOIS: And what kind of articles did you write while in Europe?
CLARK: Write? No, I didn't write. I was male model for French fashion magazines. Would you like to see my portfolio?
LOIS: /clears throat/ So, nudes too?
CLARK: Well, only when they were tasteful.

The only pregnant Lois I've written was in Missing Lois and I've crossed that plot off my list. Why doesn't anyone believe me?

So, would that be sex on the third date and kill him after he didn't call for a 4th date?

It really is applicable everywhere!

Some guys don't deserve it until the end of the date. (Points to Claude in Green-Eyed Monster).

ummmm. Crime fighter?

LAWYER: Luthor makes sure his workforce has fresh slop... er... food every day.



CLARK: And here I thought English was my first language.

CLARK: /on his knees, groveling/ Please. I'll do anything you want. Please take off your jewelry and throw it away.

Nowadays, people are overt about leaving their iPhones on the table and rudely checking texts and messages while you talk.
LOIS: Oh, dear. Did you phone just land in that lobster tank? Pity. Now, as I was saying...

LOIS: Not THAT kind of experience.

Well, that's the only way I'd want them on my plate.



CLARK: Please, no.

No, especially if you have heat vision.
CLARK: Well, er... nobody said anything about that.

CLARK: I can catch more Lexes with a chocolate filled Lois.
LOIS: Say what?
CLARK: As my partner. Because she's brilliant.

CLARK: I know.

CLARK: I was *rescuing* someone else. I wasn't running away.
LOIS: I hate women more than I hate men. You can't trust a word they say.
CLARK: So, since you're a woman and I shouldn't trust what you're saying about women, which means...

CLARK: Great! So, it's a date. By the way, there's something you should know...

Why three years before they get married? They didn't spend the first 2 as friends in this universe.

But it would have been funny.
LUCY: So.... What did you think of Mayson?
LOIS: He's very nice.
LUCY: He?!

LOIS: Metropolis is smarter than the rest of the world. So, being the best here is more difficult than being the best anywhere else.

Yes, but a) would she admit it, and b) wouldn't she still find someone with the same trait lacking?

CLARK: And because she didn't listen to reason...

Hi Virginia! No worries. As you can see, I'm also a tad behind... /eyes RL, trying to determine if it's more like a Tribbel or more like a Mogway that has been fed after midnight/

Michael

Not at the moment, no

/looks at part 188 of 1xxx/ I can see why.


LOIS: *SUUUUUPEEEEERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN*!
Also if they keep it up, they end up right where they started?



So he can keep 3-4 girlfriends?
CLARK: Let’s see…there’s Wanda. Lola. Lois. Angel. And Mayson.

Yes, that would work for a Mad Dog.

Also, I got an idea for that last quip, but I don’t think it would be appropriate over here.

Because I never qualified where the preggers Lois was coming from but you automatically jumped to a certain story, trying to prove us Wrong?

Hmm…yes, that’d work.

Of course. Can you imagine someone showing up to a wedding party wearing an Ackbar shirt?

No, I meant when she isn’t out trolling the streets for naughty boys.

No, his first language is Kansan.


LOIS: So, you want me to remove my attire and then you’d do anything want? I don’t see the novelty in that.

I once read that it’s because work or the latest social media status upate of a virtual friend is more important than the person on the other side of the table?
AMOR: /throws bow into garbage/
EARTH: And that’s how I got rid of my humans.
On that note:
MARS: How you doing?
EARTH: Not got. I’ve got humans.
MARS: Don’t worry. It passes.





So, he thinks he’s saved himself there?



Oops. Two years. My bad. /going with the traditional one year waiting period between romantic milestones/



ER: I don’t think this makes any sense.
LOIS: You from Metropolis?
ER: No?
LOIS: See?
ER:



Michael

Michael, you're too funny.
No. No! NO! Only 1/3 of the story left. Stop encouraging my muse to ramble.


CLARK: Oh, lookie, Lois. Metropolis.

CLARK: Mayson?

Yes, probably best to let my imagination go wild than to print it.





CLARK: That's not what I meant!
LOIS: Why not?

Like gas?

CLARK:

It takes a man that long to recover?

Ooops? I thought your muse depended on her Loisness?

Well, I figured with the other 3 a Mayson might be fun to mix in? You know, keep things spicy.



He really should watch out. Otherwise, Lois might start to think he’s not interested.

You mean, even if you don’t see them, you still know they have been there?

LOIS:


CLARK: Lana has been an exceptionally difficult girlfriend?

Michael

No, I ramble just fine on my own.

LOIS: I can be spicy. Dan said my cooking was 5-alarm hot. Of course, that was before I had to take him to the emergency room, but that was another story.

LOIS: Wait. You're interested? /points between them/ WE need to work on our communication skills.

CLARK: Um... I fold?

LOIS: Why the semi-present tense there, Clarkiie? Who's this Lana person?

Also…
MFD: I sure hope her home insurance will cover the 5 engines we had to send to her apartment building.
CLARK: I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think it’s tasty and gives a nice buzz on the taste buds.





CLARK: We're not exclusive, right? Like you and Superman.
SUPERMAN: I do also rescue other women.

Michael

MR. TRACEWSKI: Ms. Lane, I think it's time for you to find another place to live.
LOIS: Ooops.

LOIS: Who is this Superman, guy?
CLARK: He's...um... er... a friend of mine? He goes around in a skin tight suit, rescuing women, but he prefers you.
LOIS: /bats her eyelashes innocently/ He's your little friend?
CLARK: Well, I wouldn't say that.
LOIS: Oh. Really?
CLARK:

You've forgotten that Superman doesn't exist yet in this universe.

Maybe she could move into Clark’s?



Oops?

Michael