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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
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TOCMany thanks to KatherineKent for supplying me for the plot bunny for this story and for buying the right to do so at our auction this spring. My whole hearted gratitude also goes to Darth Michael for double checking that I put in enough commas (I can still add more.  They are so pretty and shiny.) I don't know how often I'll post. Once a week at least, if not more often. Thank you for reading. Comments go here.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 10/23/14 12:30 AM. Reason: Added Link
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Ooooh! It's time  she had woken up before her alarm clock. By two minutes.
Argh!  Some autobiography going into this? Clark was acting so odd, so out of character, it felt as if he were from another planet or something… not that he was. If he were from Krypton… Aww…the voices in her head are trying to tell her something. Sadly, she won’t listen to anyone. Even herself. She settled back against her pillows to imagine the possibilities.
Locked doors? No problem!
Two seconds to find a secret document? Easy peasy.
Tailing the suspect? Ha! Give us a real challenge. Hmm…she doesn’t sound very creative on a personal level. Kisses to melt her kneecaps? Aaaahhh…there it is NOR: I can melt kneecaps, too! JOHNNY CORBIN: Superman also melted *my* kneecaps  Oh, wait, Clark already had those.
Sigh.  To pretend that they were about to make love.  Oh, right. On their Honeymoon. The shift of his hips. She had thought… That she was horny as hell at that moment? Her world had shifted, tilted on its side, irreparably damaged. So, his heavy weight had cost Lois her balance? Bleep! Bleep! Ble…
She slammed her hand down on her alarm clock. Lois sat up, smashed her pillow with her fist, and dragged her feet out of bed. How…where…what…*how*…? If she were going to have insane dreams, why couldn’t she dream something ridiculous like Clark as Superman? Because then she’d end up on the ceiling with him? It wasn’t Clark.
It was a Clark clone. Wouldn’t be the first one, either. BIZZARRO:  Although, why would she dream about a Clark clone when the only real clone she’d met was Superman’s? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/a050.gif) Although to be fair, nobody ever told the Superclone to get a live. Anyway, who would clone Clark? Well, besides Lois. She wants two snugglebuns  Put a plastic smile on her face and wonder why Clark Kent wasn’t interested in her, while she secretly longed for him in her heart. But it is a bit odd to read this story and the current section of Wrong Clark and The Wedding Pact all at the same time. Makes one a tad woozy. She should’ve known. All the signs were there.
He had sent her to the Sewage Reclamation Facility. If Clark really had been in love with her since he first met her, he never would have done that. She did go to kindergarten and elementary school, didn’t she? Boys are said to pull the braids of the girls they like, so… the SRF must have been a declaration of love. CAT: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif) I was done with all the men in Metropolis, except Ralph because…duh! and Clark, mainly because he…he…must be gay! There was just something about Clark that was so… so… forgivable. His chest and his…heavy weight? Hell, the two of them had been sprayed with pheromone perfume and he hadn’t stooped to do a striptease for her! Still a bit miffed about that one, huh? LOIS: He could have done the fireman at least *once*! Even Superman couldn’t resist Lois under Revenge’s power, but Clark only caved after two days of her throwing herself at him. Maybe he figured he’d get some piece and quiet afterwards? Two: Clark was human, a true male in every sense of the word, and heterosexual. He had caved after all.  Three: Clark really and truly wasn’t interested in her for more than a friend; although, if she stripped for him again, he might take friends with benefits.  ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/d025.gif) She was reasonably hot in a classy non-stripper like Cat Grant sort of way. Lex Luthor thought enough of her to propose! LEX: In my defense, she had such a nice Superman attached to her. That kind of made her irresistible. /Superman – he’s like catnip for criminal masterminds/ Clark didn’t even try to make a move on her that night she had burst into his apartment last week when Kyle Griffin was stalking her. LOIS:  He had offered to let her stay the night… on his couch. LOIS:  CLARK: What. She looked grubby. He had even cuddled with her while they watched the movie, but not once did he try to make a move on her. CLARK: Cooties! Maybe he was as flawed as the Clark in her dream was. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been working together all that long. Lacking selfconfidence, do we? Although, he could easily calculate the exact length of time that had passed since he had first set eyes on… Stalker! Clark heard her footsteps moving away from the door. His brow furrowed. What now? Should he have lifted up her coffee, so she had known he had come bearing breakfast? Bribing? Really, Clark? CLARK: /adorable shrug/ “But it didn’t go off this morning,” he said.
Lois came down the hall hopping on one foot as she put on her high heel. “Who said it didn’t go off?” she asked. he lost his train of thought as one of her beautiful brunette locks slipped across her face like a veil. Quickly realizing the direction of his mind, he shook his head. Down boy! He couldn’t see his face, so he didn’t know how red it was, but it sure felt hotter than that two-alarm fire Superman had helped put out at last night. She had thought he was trying to worm his way into her bedroom? Him? He’s a male reporter. She’s Lois Lane. Of course she’d assumed that. “If I ever gave you the impression that I would… I’m so sorry, Lois, I would never, never invade…” Nice, Clark. Really nice. He hated that his love for Lois was written across his forehead in permanent ink. RALPH: Not that it was permanent, but that it was there for all to see. LOIS: What does he mean ‘not permanent’? . He feared that everyone could see the writing on Superman’s face, as well, how much he loved her. RALPH: Funny how Batman played the very same trick on Superman when I played mine on Kent. and it was all stuffed inside this petite frame with legs that never ended,
[…]
Lois Lane was explosive. So, she’s like a dynamite stick with a long fuse? She had all this personality bottled up inside the body of a goddess, and if she didn’t let it out, he was sure she would self-combust. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif) *That’s* why she did the dance of the seven veils! He honestly believed that was why they would be a perfect fit. Women think of him as a living god and he thinks Lois is a goddess of love and lust? LOIS: /clears throat/ ER: …and the goddess of gossip. LOIS: ER:  . She needed someone with the strength of Superman to help her stay together, sometimes literally. He referring when she’s thrown out of an airplane and would go splat on the ground or when she’s tied to a bomb? She smiled at him as if he had told her that Superman had personally made it himself and kissed the cup before handing it to Clark to give to her. Self-confidence issues, huh? But, oh, to know that his kiss would be caressing her palm, while she drank her coffee… Clark. You would kiss the rim, not the cup. to eat lunch at my Uncle Mike’s.”
“Pardon?” he asked, knowing he heard her correctly but still not understanding. Yes, Clark. She just asked you out on a date behind the Costmart’s walk-in freezer. Don’t play coy with me, Kent. You know all about my father’s brother, the ex-Marine, who bakes like a dream.  Why should he? . I’m sure you read all about him when you researched my background when we became partners,” ER: CLAKR: “Really? You let yourself be partnered up with someone whom you’ve never done a background check on?” she scoffed, clearly not believing him. He comes from the farm country. . He knew flattery where her ego was concerned was the best way to sooth the Mad Dog, Clark! not that he had said anything that could be refuted. He’s a guy in a relationship with a woman RALPH: Debatable. LOIS: What? You’d do me in a heartbeat. RALPH: So..? LOIS: Literal heartbeat. CLARK: Guys? ER: Anyhow, he knows to always apologize, preferably with chocolates.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31 |
He would follow her to the moon if she asked, and she knew it. They’d have to find a thunderstorm first. “You still owe me for your losses at the poker table.” Maybe they should play for bigger chunks of cotton-enhanced materials than your typical 10-dollar bill. CAT: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/s045.gif) Bet she isn’t thinking that ‘blondes have more fun,’ now, Lois thought to herself. Catty, huh? She could still have had more fun before… “Good thing you’ll be right there to catch them for us, then,” he replied. “Partner.” Thin ice there, Clark. “Just see to it that I’m not stuck doing all the heavy lifting,” she retorted.
Clark smiled at her in that way he did as if he found something funny in what she said. Like so: ? “I’ll be sure hold up my end,” he assured her.
“What?”
“I’ll be sure…” “...to hold up your end”? LOIS: Did he just refer to…  Instead of disappearing, his smile only grew larger, more radiate, as if harnessing the power of the sun. CLARK: She hated it when he avoided her questions with questions. She was a reporter. She knew what he was doing. Doing a report on the little Earth woman to send back to his handlers on Krypton? Clark had stopped to help a couple of Norwegian tourists find their way to their hotel. Sounds so perfectly harmless… The man had been more places in the world and had a better ear for languages than Superman had. Not really…no. She looked this pair of tourists over and wondered if Clark had volunteered to help just because he could speak their language or because they were blonde, buxom co-eds, who didn’t realize that shorty-shorts weren’t appropriate in Metropolis in autumn, or ever. Meeeeooooowwww! Also TVTropes: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NorseByNorsewestIt seemed that even her partner wasn’t immune to feminine wiles.
The question was why didn’t he notice hers? Awww…Lois thinks she has feminine wiles  The co-eds smiled, waved, and said something that sounded an awful lot like a recommendation for a date to Lois’s ears before they walked on. Like Anya did with Xander in Buffy episode ‘Hush’? ![[Linked Image]](http://www.entil2001.com/series/buffy/season4/buf4-10p11.jpg) There’s also an animated version… http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/anya-sex-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-hush-a-detailed-review.gif“What nice girls,” Clark said to Lois, rejoining her to wait for the pedestrian crossing to change again. “Clark, can we just get one thing straight? If they’re old enough for you to date, they’re ‘women’ not ‘girls’,” Lois corrected, starting across the street despite the red hand. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d050.gif) “They’re nineteen, and only just graduated from high school, Lois. Certainly not old enough for me to date; therefore, ‘girls’ was the right word,” he said Trying to dodge a bullet? “Jimmy’s twenty-one, and therefore they would fall within five years of his age. Actually… ![[Linked Image]](http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png) Still…Clark’s 28 so his dating pool starts at 20, making them still girls either way. But Lois would fall smack in the middle. “Plus, he values his health.” ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/g005.gif) Sometimes, she just wanted to clobber that man, she thought, jerking her elbow away from him. Maybe it would knock some sense into him. Also, it could lead to a make-out session. Then she continued before he could do more than nod. “Twenty-four year old women ‘girls’.” “College girls gone wild”? You’re right, and I’m sorry.”
Her step perked up at this acknowledgement. . “It’s best that they went to their hotel room to change, since someone obviously had stolen their clothes.” Extremly catty. I’d say there’s a lot of girls standing around on street corners that are dressed just like those women. Suddenly, he knew what was wrong. “Were you jealous of those women?”
“Those girls?” Lois scoffed. “Hardly.” I thought she’d decided they’re women. She really does want it both ways, doesn’t she? “I’ll admit that Toni Taylor irked me, but I was not jealous!” Lois insisted. Riiiight. LOIS: See? He said I’m right. It was just a cover, Lois, just as you weren’t really interested in Stoke,” he reminded her. Well…Lois sure looked the part when she tried to get with Stoke. “Who? That other Toni?” At his confused expression, she continued. “Dr. Antoinette Baines?” “What was I supposed to do? Head butt her?” Okay, he’d grant that argument, if his head butt wouldn’t have knocked Dr. Baines’s skull across the room. He could have moderated, couldn’t he have. “I bet if Miranda hadn’t sprayed the whole newsroom with Revenge, you would’ve been plying her with ideas of playing hooky.” But…but…she’s over 40! “Well, you’re a broken record,” Lois retorted and marched off. “Always repeating yourself!”
Huh? Calling her jealous. “Why don’t you try something new for a change?” Not calling her jealous? He would give her a few minutes to cool off as he tried to figure out what exactly was bothering her this time. But what if she gets kidnapped over there? He doubted he would ever truly understand Lois, but, oh, what fun he would have trying. Or die in the process… Perhaps it meant that she was giving him a second look from over the edge of the rock wall surrounding her heart. LOIS: The question was would she like what she saw? LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/g045.gif) Just because I thought Linda was pretty doesn’t mean I would have ever made a move on her. RALPH:  she said, interrupting him before he went on praising Linda King’s so-called good looks. “You better go wash that out or it’ll stain,” she said. It would be a shame to ruin one of his more somber ties. . As soon as he was out of sight, she took a big bite of her chocolate raspberry torte and moaned with a satisfaction usually reserved for Clark Kent and Superman kisses. One might think she did it on purpose to get him out of there. . Isn’t Linda King that girl who stole your story in college?” Uncle Mike asked. Oh-oh. He called her a girl. MIKE LANE: Hey! She’s outside my acceptable dating pool, thus I can call her a girl! An explosion erupted in the kitchen and before either of them could react, Superman was there blowing it out. He must be stalking her. She had sent him inside to use the restroom. Oh, God! What have I done? Sent him to meet a bomb? “Where have you been?” she snapped, taking out her leftover anxiety on him. He could have died. Isn’t she appreciative of him?  He nodded to the man, swearing up a blue streak from his position at the dumpster. Of course he’s swearing about the boyscout in blue streaking. “It’s not her fault if the city doesn’t have the resources,” Clark began, defending a woman he hadn’t even met. Couldn’t they outsource the call center to India like they do with software support? She should really tell him. She opened her mouth.
“9-1-1. What is your emergency?” a voice said into her ear and she realized she had still been waiting on hold.
Well, perhaps this wasn’t the best moment to bring up how much she loved Clark. Lois Lane is in love and willing to admit it. The world must be ending. I think end of the world classifies as an emergency, don’t you think? He would just assume it was motivated by the bomb, which it wasn’t. Superman was able to put out the fire and catch the suspect, but we need an officer here to do the actual arresting,” OPERATOR: So, you’re not in any present danger, then? No, she couldn’t tell Clark this at the office. Too many people. RALPH: . Too many interruptions. JIMMY: PERRY: Tonight! Yes, Lois would stop by his apartment tonight after all this craziness had calmed down, and she would tell Clark that she loved him. MAYSON: This was great fun. Just lighthearted fluff. Simply adorable! Michael
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
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Lord, I remember someone  commenting that I quoted the nearly the entire story... I love the way you set this up. With 3 parts there is plenty of room for mis-understandings and finally the WAFFY ending that should be there in the end (especially since you got the plot bunny from Victoria ). I can't wait until the next episode to see how you unfold it all. Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
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Darth Michael: Thank you for your double FDK comments and Beta. You may have noticed a slight change in title, but everything else is mostly the same. Yes, finally. she had woken up before her alarm clock. By two minutes.
Argh! Some autobiography going into this? Sadly, yes. I hate it when that happens. Aww…the voices in her head are trying to tell her something. Sadly, she won’t listen to anyone. Even herself. Of course, she doesn't! CK=SM? That would be insane!  Also, it wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the inclusion of voices or dreams, now would it?  Hmm…she doesn’t sound very creative on a personal level. Give her time. She is a bit of a career-focused person. See. NOR: I can melt kneecaps, too!
JOHNNY CORBIN: Superman also melted *my* kneecaps /didn't appreciate this or the way SM wasn't charged with accessory to his murder/ LOIS: Nor, I don't like the way you melt kneecaps. Nobody does. Johnny... /sigh/ Why am I even bothering to try to speak to you? My vocabulary is too high for you to understand. Oh, wait, Clark already had those.
Sigh. ER: /surprised that Lois would admit the truth to herself so early in a story/ S2. Didn't she figure this out at the end of S1? ER: /misremembering what happened on Trask's plane/ Oh, right. On their Honeymoon. CLARK: I don't know. If she had kept kissing me like that on a regular basis, I think it could have lead to a honeymoon much quicker. That she was horny as hell at that moment? LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif) I plead the Fifth. So, his heavy weight had cost Lois her balance? Yes, that's why she's always falling off buildings and out windows and such. ER: /confused that Lois hadn't gotten up, even when she woke up before her alarm/ How…where…what…*how*…? Really? Those are the most productive two minutes of sleep in my household. Because then she’d end up on the ceiling with him? CLARK: I don't think we'd... really? The ceiling? Huh. I never thought about... it's possible, I guess, I do... um... I plead the Fifth. Wouldn’t be the first one, either.
BIZZARRO: /wave/ But if Vatman never dressed up as Clark Kent (or Kent Clark), wouldn't that mean he never was? ER: /has NO idea why Lois could possible be thinking of Clark and Superman at the same time/ Although to be fair, nobody ever told the Superclone to get a live. LOIS: I was about to, but then he stuck his tongue in my mouth. She wants two snugglebuns LOIS: Well, the real one isn't interested. Maybe the clone one would be. I mean, the cloned Superman was. But it is a bit odd to read this story and the current section of Wrong Clark and The Wedding Pact all at the same time. Makes one a tad woozy. Another reason to post this during my Wrong Clark hiatus. She did go to kindergarten and elementary school, didn’t she? Boys are said to pull the braids of the girls they like, so… the SRF must have been a declaration of love.
CAT: I was done with all the men in Metropolis, except Ralph because…duh! and Clark, mainly because he…he…must be gay! LOIS: No, I skipped kindergarten and went straight into first grade. CAT: Oh, that explains why she doesn't understand men. LOIS: Oh, and Clark's not... ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif) I mean, Clark is TOTALLY gay. CAT: But then again, he likes you. So if he's gay that mean that you're.../looks Lois up and down/ Well, that explains a lot. His chest and his…heavy weight? His sweet personality. Still a bit miffed about that one, huh?
LOIS: He could have done the fireman at least *once*! CLARK: But I help out the fire department all the time. LOIS: You do? CLARK:  I mean, I used to be a volunteer fireman back in Smallville. LOIS: Oh. Maybe he figured he’d get some piece and quiet afterwards? Oh Loook! Someone else who skipped kindergarten and doesn't understand women. Three: Clark really and truly wasn’t interested in her for more than a friend; although, if she stripped for him again, he might take friends with benefits. ER: /Surprised that Lois would think that. Hopeful that EW agrees and turns the story towards the dark side with no crazy marriage complications/ No, sorry, Michael. This story is strictly Gfic. LEX: In my defense, she had such a nice Superman attached to her. That kind of made her irresistible. LOIS: Defense? *Defense?* Defense? DEFENSE? EW: The real reason Lex jumped during HoL. /Superman – he’s like catnip for criminal masterminds/ CAT: And women everywhere. LOIS: /mad/
CLARK: What. She looked grubby. LOIS: See! He's acting weird. That shouldn't matter if he really liked me. LOIS: Oh, you do? Well, thanks for thinking about my well-being. I wouldn't want your cooties. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been working together all that long. Lacking selfconfidence, do we? CLARK: No, I was being sarcastic. CLARK: No! Just good at math. Bribing? Really, Clark?
CLARK: /adorable shrug/ Aww. Isn't he cute? CLARK: But I wasn't floating! Oh... you meant. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c050.gif) Well, I... er... Coffee? She had thought he was trying to worm his way into her bedroom? Him? He’s a male reporter. She’s Lois Lane. Of course she’d assumed that. Good point. And Yes. CLARK: No! I'd Never! He hated that his love for Lois was written across his forehead in permanent ink. RALPH: /has no idea how that could have happened/ LOIS: What does he mean ‘not permanent’? Hmmm. That's a good question. I'll have to think about that one. CLARK: I meant hopefully it wasn't visible when I was dressed in Blue Suit. RALPH: Funny how Batman played the very same trick on Superman when I played mine on Kent. LOIS: And that's why Ralph doesn't have any shiny tear-dropped shaped paperweights, and I have three. So, she’s like a dynamite stick with a long fuse? CLARK: I wouldn't have phrased it quite like that, but 'yes'. ER: /mind full of ideas/ *That’s* why she did the dance of the seven veils! Wouldn't it have been funny if Lois HADN'T been exposed to Revenge and yet still came over to dance for Clark, and he thought she had? Women think of him as a living god and he thinks Lois is a goddess of love and lust?
LOIS: /clears throat/
ER: …and the goddess of gossip.
LOIS: /mad/
ER: /peep/ Pssst. I think the word you were looking for was "news". He referring when she’s thrown out of an airplane and would go splat on the ground or when she’s tied to a bomb? CLARK: That may or may not be one of the times to which I was referring. Yes. Self-confidence issues, huh? CLARK: I've seen the way Lois goes ga-ga for Superman. I've never seen, with one notable exception, her ever going the same kind of ga-ga for me. Clark. You would kiss the rim, not the cup. CLARK: But that would be like her lips touching mine... /fades away into dream land/... That would be too much like a stalker. Yes, Clark. She just asked you out on a date behind the Costmart’s walk-in freezer. Because she's not the only one out there with a license to snoop. ER: /can't believe that Lois checked into Clark's background and still came up with zippo/
CLAKR: /can't believe that Lois would think so little of him and his morals/ LOIS: What? Isn't that what everyone does? He comes from the farm country. He didn't care what her background was because he was already smitten? He’s a guy in a relationship with a woman Clark: Yes, were partners. But I didn't say I was in a relationship with Lois. I may have thought that I wanted to be, but I never said so. RALPH: Debatable.
LOIS: What? You’d do me in a heartbeat.
RALPH: So..?
LOIS: Literal heartbeat.
CLARK: Guys?
ER: Anyhow, he knows to always apologize, preferably with chocolates. CLARK: What do I need to apologize for? I didn't say anything wrong? LOIS: Is that no reason not to bring me chocolates? CLARK:
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
-- Response to Darth Michael's FDK - Continued --They’d have to find a thunderstorm first. Well, technically, she could go in a ship. CAT: /wonders why Lois and Clark are playing poker while dressed/ PERRY: Which is why Cat Grant wasn't invited back to poker a second time. Catty, huh? She could still have had more fun before… LOIS: Clark was supposed to be listening to ME! My cattiness was justified. Also, I said 'now'. Clearly, she's had more fun previously. “Good thing you’ll be right there to catch them for us, then,” he replied. “Partner.” Thin ice there, Clark. Isn't he implying that Lois never would let a story slip between her fingers? “...to hold up your end”?
LOIS: Did he just refer to… /splat/ CLARK: I never said anything about touching your... uh-hem... 'end'. Although... /fades off into daydream land, again/ LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k015.gif) Doing a report on the little Earth woman to send back to his handlers on Krypton? NOR: So what you're saying is that Earth women are too difficult to tame and we should try to colonize another planet? Sounds so perfectly harmless… CLARK: It Was! LOIS: Of course Clark doesn't. IT was just a joke. CLARK: Meeeeooooowwww! Also TVTropes: /watch out for European stereotypes/ They weren't Swedish. Awww…Lois thinks she has feminine wiles /ER knows he's about to get his head bashed in/ LOIS: I have wiles! Clark! /hits her partner/ Tell Michael I have wiles. CLARK: Tons of them! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif) LOIS: See. Wait. Was that sarcastic or did you just call me fat? CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif) Like Anya did with Xander in Buffy episode ‘Hush’? CLARK: They most certainly did not! LOIS: I saw what I saw. Trying to dodge a bullet? CLARK: No. Why? Actually…
/diagram of dating range/
Still…Clark’s 28 so his dating pool starts at 20, making them still girls either way. But Lois would fall smack in the middle. CLARK: But they weren't Lois, therefore, they weren't in my dating range. Also, it could lead to a make-out session. I don't think that's allowed unless they're dating. “College girls gone wild”? Twenty four is over college age, isn't it? PARTY COLLEGES: It is? Extremly catty. I’d say there’s a lot of girls standing around on street corners that are dressed just like those women. LOIS: We don't walk in those neighborhoods and anyway, they're usually in bed when we walk to work. I thought she’d decided they’re women. She really does want it both ways, doesn’t she? HE must call them women. As a woman SHE may refer to them as 'girls', because she doesn't want him to think of them as being old enough for him to date. CLARK: PERRY: Son, it's just best not to try to understand them. “I’ll admit that Toni Taylor irked me, but I was not jealous!” Lois insisted. Riiiight. LOIS: See? He said I’m right. CLARK: Suuuuuure. LOIS: See, even you agree. Well…Lois sure looked the part when she tried to get with Stoke. You mean the shorty-shorts? “What was I supposed to do? Head butt her?” ER: /thinks that's a good idea/ Didn't Dr. Baines already turn on the chemicals before she kissed Clark, though? He could have moderated, couldn’t he have. CLARK: I don't head butt people often, but the last time I tried to do it with a soccer ball it ended up orbiting the moon. I know, I saw it when I went to stop Nightfall. LOIS: If the woman is hot, it doesn't matter to the human male. CLARK: /phew/ That clears me then. LOIS: Why? CLARK: Um... er... because Miranda wasn't hot? Possibly. He's tried that but it doesn't make her any more interested in him. But what if she gets kidnapped over there? He's still watching her, but from across the street. CLARK: Doubtful, but yes. CLARK: Yep, that's what that wall looks like. The question was would she like what she saw? LOIS: /drooling over Clark/ CLARK: Nope. Inconclusive. I just can't tell if she likes me. RALPH: /does not compute/ CLARK: See, there are differences between lunkheads and idiots. One might think she did it on purpose to get him out of there. LOIS: /mumbling through her full mouth/ I have no idea to what you could be referring. /glances over at Clark's still full plate./ It doesn't look like he's going to eat that... Oh-oh. He called her a girl.
MIKE LANE: Hey! She’s outside my acceptable dating pool, thus I can call her a girl! Linda is young enough to be his daughter, so girl is appropriate. Maybe he's stalking Kent. LOIS: Not on purpose! Isn’t she appreciative of him? No that might make him suspicious. Of course he’s swearing about the boyscout in blue streaking. SUPERMAN: I was clothed the whole time. LOIS:  You were? Couldn’t they outsource the call center to India like they do with software support? I don't think that would be popular with the general public. Lois Lane is in love and willing to admit it. The world must be ending. I think end of the world classifies as an emergency, don’t you think? Good one! OPERATOR: So, you’re not in any present danger, then? LOIS: Only in breaking my heart by telling my partner that I love him. OPERATOR: Oh, why didn't you say so? We'll have emergency personnel sent to your location immediately. This was great fun. Just lighthearted fluff. Simply adorable! Thank you. I was going for Romantic Comedy. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Mike M: Hi, Mike. Thanks for commenting. Lord, I remember someone /claims he still doesn't resemble that comment, but nobody believes him/ commenting that I quoted the nearly the entire story... Yes, but Darth Michael doesn't quote the story in huge chunks. He does it in lots and lots of little quotes. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif) Just teasing you. I don't care how people comment as long as they do. I love the way you set this up. With 3 parts there is plenty of room for mis-understandings and finally the WAFFY ending that should be there in the end (especially since you got the plot bunny from Victoria ). What? WAFF? This was supposed to be WAFFY by the end? ... um... er... Sure... we can do that! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d060.gif) Yes, this is a romantic comedy with LOTS of misunderstandings and a happy ending. LOIS: Happy? You call that... CLARK: /covers her mouth to avoid spoilage/ Everything is just fine. Nothing to see here. Keep reading. I can't wait until the next episode to see how you unfold it all. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, Mike. Thanks for letting me know.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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I am with Mike! This was very funny! It was sweet how you put on all those gentlemanly acts of Clark's on the walk to work. That's so something we don't see very often.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Morgana: Thanks for commenting. I am with Mike! This was very funny! Thank you. It was sweet how you put on all those gentlemanly acts of Clark's on the walk to work. That's so something we don't see very often. There's a reason "Gentleman" is in the title. We all know that Clark's the kind of guy who would stop his car (if he had one) on the side of the road and help a stranded motorist change a tire, even if he was in a tux and late for picking Lois up for the Kerth Awards. It's what makes him sweet, irresistible, and why Lois is often frusteratingly  . Glad you enjoyed it.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Beat Reporter
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Very deftly written, and adorable. I loved the way you painted their characters. I’m looking forward to seeing how it plays out.
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DebbieG: Thank you for reading. Very deftly written, and adorable. I loved the way you painted their characters. I’m looking forward to seeing how it plays out. Thank you. I was in the mood to have some fun with our favorite characters. I hope you enjoy where this story goes.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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But for two whole days, Clark had been able to resist her full frontal assault on his senses. So, what does that prove?
One: Clark was a true gentleman.
Two: Clark was human, a true male in every sense of the word, and heterosexual. He had caved after all.
Three: Clark really and truly wasn’t interested in her for more than a friend; although, if she stripped for him again, he might take friends with benefits. LOL! I love Lois' conclusions here! And then she goes on to justify to herself why he should be interested in her. This is a great set up to the story...she's so frustrated because she believes he's not attracted to her that she overreacts and over-thinks his cordial behavior towards others. And I adored that Clark totally called Lois out for her jealousy.  Looking forward to part 2! 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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groobie: Ooooh. More feedback.  LOL! I love Lois' conclusions here! And then she goes on to justify to herself why he should be interested in her. One of my favorite themes in this show is how badly these people in the communications industry don't communicate. But then again, if they had it wouldn't be much fun, now would it? This is a great set up to the story...she's so frustrated because she believes he's not attracted to her that she overreacts and over-thinks his cordial behavior towards others. And I adored that Clark totally called Lois out for her jealousy. Lois's frustration is always fun. I enjoy it when Clark calls Lois on her behavior. Usually he's teasing her, but sometimes he's spot on. Now, if he'd just realize he was spot on... Looking forward to part 2! Thank you. I'm looking forward to posting it. I prepped it this afternoon. Thank you for commenting! If I post Part 2 today, we'd only have one more part left before it's over, and then poor Ken would be the only person posting a story (at least on this side of the boards), and I'd hate to do that to him. Maybe if a few more of you volunteer to post stories too, so he doesn't feel so all alone until I can get at least 10 parts of Wrong Clark written and start posting again. (BTW, for all my Wrong Clark readers, it's going well. Ideas galore taking over. Now, if I could only organize them. ) If more stories don't start to flood the boards, then I'll post Part 2 on Wednesday. If lots more people start to post stories, I'll post more quickly. (Strange backwards ultimatum, I know, but I'm a strange backwards type of person.)
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Top Banana
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Really excited about this story, Virginia!  I totally am loving the set up...Lois thinking that Clark isn't interested in her, being jealous of every woman he has been in contact with pretty much since she's know him, and meanwhile Clark, totally and completely in love with her. I love these type of miscommunications--and like you said, between two people whose job it is to communicate . Always enjoy when Lois is worked up, jealous. And I love for Clark being able to see a bit of Lois' interest in him. Come on, Clark--read between the lines...she is head over heals for you  . Great dialog, and such a great 'feel' to the story--really looking forward to the next part. Woo-hoo!!! Awesome job! Laura
Last edited by LMA; 10/27/14 12:34 PM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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LMA: More feedback. You guys are really inspiring me to post before Wednesday. Oh, my, Laura. Thank you. No pressure to deliver or anything, there. (Yes, sarcasm meant.) I totally am loving the set up...Lois thinking that Clark isn't interested in her, being jealous of every woman he has been in contact with pretty much since she's know him, and meanwhile Clark, totally and completely in love with her. I love these type of miscommunications--and like you said, between two people whose job it is to communicate I'm glad you enjoyed it. These kind of miscommunication stories *are* as much fun to write as they are to read. Always enjoy when Lois is worked up, jealous. And I love for Clark being able to see a bit of Lois' interest in him. Come on, Clark--read between the lines...she is head over heals for you. Yeah, I did kind of work Lois up into a tizzy in this story. I'm sure NONE of us have ever acted irrationally jealous /clears throat/ over some man before. Good thing it always works out. Great dialog, and such a great 'feel' to the story--really looking forward to the next part. Woo-hoo!!!
Awesome job! Wow, thanks, Laura. You are more than welcome to comment on all my stories. You're like chocolate to my muse. LOIS: Chocolate? Why would you give chocolate to your muse? I'm here. I'll hold on to it... for your muse. Clark will be back any minute, now. He just went to walk some woman across the street or deliver some baby because the pregnant mother couldn't make it across the street to the hospital or something. It's not like we had a story to write on police corruption or anything. /rolls eyes/ That's okay, I'm sure he'll come back with some Superman story so Perry will love him. Mmmmm. Chocolate. Thank you for commenting.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Thank you for your double FDK comments and Beta. You may have noticed a slight change in title, but everything else is mostly the same. Yes, finally. <EW goes into vay-cay mode>  Also, it wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the inclusion of voices or dreams, now would it? <considers the mental health issues of her main characters a staple> LOIS: I did not staple my foot on *purpose*! I *was* trying to hit the bad guy, you know? Johnny... /sigh/ Why am I even bothering to try to speak to you? My vocabulary is too high for you to understand. JOHNNY: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/figuren/h050.gif) Quote:
ER: /misremembering what happened on Trask's plane/ Oh, right. On their Honeymoon.
CLARK: I don't know. If she had kept kissing me like that on a regular basis, I think it could have lead to a honeymoon much quicker. Also, I thought she was thinking back to the Honeymoon makeout session. CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/boese/a045.gif) So-rry! Ruse. Yes, that's why she's always falling off buildings and out windows and such. But if Vatman never dressed up as Clark Kent (or Kent Clark), wouldn't that mean he never was? Hmm…take one cape…subtract a boot…multiply with hair gel… ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/e040.gif) Although to be fair, nobody ever told the Superclone to get a live.
LOIS: I was about to, but then he stuck his tongue in my mouth. Funny how she reacts to the clone the same way she does to Lex K-I-S-S-I-N-G her. LOIS: Well, the real one isn't interested. Maybe the clone one would be. I mean, the cloned Superman was. Yes, but that’s because he was made by Lex. LOIS: No, I skipped kindergarten and went straight into first grade.
CAT: Oh, that explains why she doesn't understand men.
LOIS: <still doesn’t know how to operate a stick> Oh, and Clark's not... <got some idea on how to protect her property from roaming cats> I mean, Clark is TOTALLY gay.
CAT: But then again, he likes you. So if he's gay that mean that you're.../looks Lois up and down/ Well, that explains a lot. LOIS: So…the pantsuit and the ‘stache are too much? Quote:
Maybe he figured he’d get some piece and quiet afterwards?
Oh Loook! Someone else who skipped kindergarten and doesn't understand women. CLARK: I was helping on the farm…? You know, jacking up the tractor and such… ER: /Surprised that Lois would think that. Hopeful that EW agrees and turns the story towards the dark side with no crazy marriage complications/
No, sorry, Michael. This story is strictly Gfic.  LOIS: Defense? *Defense?* Defense? DEFENSE?
EW: The real reason Lex jumped during HoL. Realized he already had divorced one she-dragon and he didn’t need the hassle *again*? Quote:
/Superman – he’s like catnip for criminal masterminds/
CAT: And women everywhere. MINDY: Oooooh! Quote:
CLARK: Cooties!
LOIS: Oh, you do? Well, thanks for thinking about my well-being. I wouldn't want your cooties. That he got from Mayson? Quote:
Stalker!
CLARK: No! Just good at math. No, I still go with stalker. Good point. And Yes.
CLARK: No! I'd Never! LOIS: So you *don’t* want to sleep with me? CLARK: I meant hopefully it wasn't visible when I was dressed in Blue Suit. That kind of depends… LOIS: And that's why Ralph doesn't have any shiny tear-dropped shaped paperweights, and I have three. Wouldn't it have been funny if Lois HADN'T been exposed to Revenge and yet still came over to dance for Clark, and he thought she had? LOIS: What? *Perfect* excuse! On that note, I really should go back to PML – The Whole Story some day… Pssst. I think the word you were looking for was "news". ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a010.gif) Naaaahhh… CLARK: I've seen the way Lois goes ga-ga for Superman. I've never seen, with one notable exception, her ever going the same kind of ga-ga for me. That’s because Superman dresses like he’s…available while Clark dresses like a monk. CLARK: But that would be like her lips touching mine... /fades away into dream land/... That would be too much like a stalker. Says the man who has mapped her comings and goings via her heartbeat. LOIS: What? Isn't that what everyone does? The reason she’s still single? He didn't care what her background was because he was already smitten? But what if she had slept with half the boys in college and most of the professors? CLARK: What do I need to apologize for? I didn't say anything wrong?
LOIS: Is that no reason not to bring me chocolates?
CLARK: <not a clue how he managed to step into it *this* time> Originally Posted By: Darth Michael
They’d have to find a thunderstorm first.
Well, technically, she could go in a ship. LOIS: Technically, I don’t have to do what the EW says, either. CLARK: Technically, I don’t have to do what Lois says, either. Quote:
CAT: /wonders why Lois and Clark are playing poker while dressed/
PERRY: Which is why Cat Grant wasn't invited back to poker a second time. Jimmy got too distracted? LOIS: Clark was supposed to be listening to ME! My cattiness was justified. Also, I said 'now'. Clearly, she's had more fun previously. CLARK: /tries to look at own shoulder/ I don’t see a dogtag on my neck saying ‘property of Lois Lane’. Do you? Originally Posted By: Michael
Originally Posted By: WaGD Part 1
“Good thing you’ll be right there to catch them for us, then,” he replied. “Partner.”
Thin ice there, Clark.
Isn't he implying that Lois never would let a story slip between her fingers? He’s also implying that Lois would do all the lifting in their relationship. CLARK: I never said anything about touching your... uh-hem... 'end'. Although... /fades off into daydream land, again/
LOIS: <that’s why I can’t use males as partners> CAT: LOIS: No. NOR: So what you're saying is that Earth women are too difficult to tame and we should try to colonize another planet? CLARK: Well…I didn’t really use my powers to tame her. I was just trying to be persuasive. But hey, whatever works. I hear Venus got some fine women. LOIS: Of course Clark doesn't. IT was just a joke.
CLARK: <has a special, whizzing laughther> LOIS: You are so strange, sometimes. LOIS: I have wiles! Clark! /hits her partner/ Tell Michael I have wiles.
CLARK: Tons of them! <likes his woman shapely>
LOIS: See. Wait. Was that sarcastic or did you just call me fat?
CLARK: <can’t win with Lois> LOIS: And you better not forget it! CLARK: But they weren't Lois, therefore, they weren't in my dating range. So, his dating range is actually determined by the multi-verse theory? CLARKs: Sorry. And also by just how many Alt-Clarks have already been killed off by their respective Tempus. Quote:
“College girls gone wild”?
Twenty four is over college age, isn't it?
PARTY COLLEGES: It is? LOIS: We don't walk in those neighborhoods and anyway, they're usually in bed when we walk to work. Had to make sure to keep Clark from getting the wrong idea about how Lois dresses? HE must call them women. As a woman SHE may refer to them as 'girls', because she doesn't want him to think of them as being old enough for him to date.
CLARK: <got lost between the left and the right standard>
PERRY: Son, it's just best not to try to understand them. Riiiight.
LOIS: See? He said I’m right.
clap
CLARK: Suuuuuure.
LOIS: See, even you agree. I just realized! She’s just like Sheldon. Doesn’t get sarcasm. Is always right. Got a thing for Superman. Quote:
Well…Lois sure looked the part when she tried to get with Stoke.
You mean the shorty-shorts? And the other…short parts of her clothing. ![[Linked Image]](http://lncphoto.free.fr/LCscreencaps/S2/2x02/imgcol/_00131.jpg) Didn't Dr. Baines already turn on the chemicals before she kissed Clark, though? So, at least they’d die all together in a nice fireball instead of Dr. Baines dying all alone in a nice fireball? CLARK: I don't head butt people often, but the last time I tried to do it with a soccer ball it ended up orbiting the moon. I know, I saw it when I went to stop Nightfall. So, he’s not good at controlling his head? LOIS: Okay, so Superman’s out for nookie. Let’s see…The Flash? . Done. Next… LOIS: If the woman is hot, it doesn't matter to the human male.
CLARK: /phew/ That clears me then.
LOIS: Why?
CLARK: Um... er... because Miranda wasn't hot? LOIS: /drooling over Clark/
CLARK: Nope. Inconclusive. I just can't tell if she likes me. CAT: Okay, he’s gay. Jimmmmmy! Quote:
RALPH: /does not compute/
CLARK: See, there are differences between lunkheads and idiots. The idiot tells one woman he’d do another woman? LOIS: /mumbling through her full mouth/ I have no idea to what you could be referring. /glances over at Clark's still full plate./ It doesn't look like he's going to eat that... Quote:
He must be stalking her.
Maybe he's stalking Kent. Like in those stories people tell about Batman and Robin? Quote:
Sent him to meet a bomb?
LOIS: Not on purpose! Feeling guilty, are we? SUPERMAN: I was clothed the whole time.
LOIS: <distracted> You were? Quote:
Couldn’t they outsource the call center to India like they do with software support?
I don't think that would be popular with the general public. What if they could also lower the taxes? POLITICIANS: What if they *said* they would lower the taxes but then invented a new tax to outweigh the lowered taxes? Quote:
Lois Lane is in love and willing to admit it. The world must be ending. I think end of the world classifies as an emergency, don’t you think?
clap Good one! Thank you Quote:
OPERATOR: So, you’re not in any present danger, then?
LOIS: Only in breaking my heart by telling my partner that I love him.
OPERATOR: Oh, why didn't you say so? We'll have emergency personnel sent to your location immediately. She doesn’t sound very sincere. Or is she talking about a psychiatrist they send to talk people off a ledge? I was going for Romantic Comedy. Aren’t you always? Quote by Mike M:
Lord, I remember someone /claims he still doesn't resemble that comment, but nobody believes him/ commenting that I quoted the nearly the entire story...
Quote by Virginia:
Yes, but Darth Michael doesn't quote the story in huge chunks. He does it in lots and lots of little quotes. Just teasing you. I don't care how people comment as long as they do. I kind of quote the bits I can quip on. Find funny. Are hilarious. And with some FoLCs, contain too many or too few specks of dirt in between the lines. Michael
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FDK FDK already? Hmmmm. Maybe it's time to post the next part. EW: Also, it wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the inclusion of voices or dreams, now would it? <considers the mental health issues of her main characters a staple>
LOIS: I did not staple my foot on *purpose*! I *was* trying to hit the bad guy, you know? Perhaps stapling my own finger the other day (after stupidly trying to fix my stapler without first removing the staples ) makes this all the more funny. ER: /misremembering what happened on Trask's plane/ Oh, right. On their Honeymoon.
CLARK: I don't know. If she had kept kissing me like that on a regular basis, I think it could have lead to a honeymoon much quicker.
ER: Also, I thought she was thinking back to the Honeymoon makeout session.
CLARK: nuh-uh. So-rry! Ruse. Actually, I... er... Lois was referring to the HiM kiss, but you seemed a bit confused. EW: But if Vatman never dressed up as Clark Kent (or Kent Clark), wouldn't that mean he never was?
ER: Hmm…take one cape…subtract a boot…multiply with hair gel… /doesn't buy it/ EW: I also find it funny that Lex never figures out SM=CK upon developing Vatman. I wonder if there are any stories out there where Vatman dresses up as Clark Kent to try to seduce Lois Lane. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif) ER: Although to be fair, nobody ever told the Superclone to get a live.
LOIS: I was about to, but then he stuck his tongue in my mouth.
ER: Funny how she reacts to the clone the same way she does to Lex K-I-S-S-I-N-G her. LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/muede/n022.gif) Once you've kissed Clark Kent, there's no going back. CLARK: Well, golly gee. Thanks, Lois. LOIS: Did I say Clark Kent? Ooops. I meant Superman. Silly me. I wonder why I keep getting those two confused. CLARK: I don't know, Lois. LOIS: Well, the real one isn't interested. Maybe the clone one would be. I mean, the cloned Superman was.
ER: Yes, but that’s because he was made by Lex. And Lex has a one track mind? LOIS: No, I skipped kindergarten and went straight into first grade.
CAT: Oh, that explains why she doesn't understand men.
LOIS: <still doesn’t know how to operate a stick> Oh, and Clark's not... <got some idea on how to protect her property from roaming cats> I mean, Clark is TOTALLY gay.
CAT: But then again, he likes you. So if he's gay that mean that you're.../looks Lois up and down/ Well, that explains a lot. LOIS: So…the pantsuit and the ‘stache are too much? I believe she was undercover while in that outfit. ER: Maybe he figured he’d get some piece and quiet afterwards?
EW: Oh Loook! Someone else who skipped kindergarten and doesn't understand women.
CLARK: I was helping on the farm…? You know, jacking up the tractor and such… Don't they make the perfect couple? LOIS: Defense? *Defense?* Defense? DEFENSE?
EW: The real reason Lex jumped during HoL.
ER: Realized he already had divorced one she-dragon and he didn’t need the hassle *again*? He realized that sometimes Bridezilla doesn't appear until *after* the wedding. CLARK: Cooties!
LOIS: Oh, you do? Well, thanks for thinking about my well-being. I wouldn't want your cooties.
ER: That he got from Mayson? Clark hasn't met Mayson yet. CLARK: Nope. /scratches/ I got this case from Lana. EW: Good point. And Yes.
CLARK: No! I'd Never!
LOIS: So you *don’t* want to sleep with me? CLARK: What was the question again? Wouldn't it have been funny if Lois HADN'T been exposed to Revenge and yet still came over to dance for Clark, and he thought she had?
LOIS: What? *Perfect* excuse!
On that note, I really should go back to PML – The Whole Story some day… CLARK: I've seen the way Lois goes ga-ga for Superman. I've never seen, with one notable exception, her ever going the same kind of ga-ga for me.
ER: That’s because Superman dresses like he’s…available while Clark dresses like a monk. CLARK: But... But... This suit cost me $100! CLARK: But that would be like her lips touching mine... /fades away into dream land/... That would be too much like a stalker.
ER: Says the man who has mapped her comings and goings via her heartbeat. CLARK: Come on. That's not fair. I'm doing what any other hot blooded American male would do if he had my powers, right? LOIS: What? Isn't that what everyone does?
ER: The reason she’s still single? Because no man could pass her back ground check? LOIS: No comment. EW: He didn't care what her background was because he was already smitten?
ER: But what if she had slept with half the boys in college and most of the professors? LOIS: Fraud! That's Linda King's history, not mine! CLARK: Anyway, do you really think I'd *want* to know about that? Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. ER: They’d have to find a thunderstorm first.
EW: Well, technically, she could go in a ship.
LOIS: /razz/ Technically, I don’t have to do what the EW says, either.
CLARK: /huh/ Technically, I don’t have to do what Lois says, either. CLARK: I don't have to do what Lois says! LOIS: Great. You've broken him. CAT: /wonders why Lois and Clark are playing poker while dressed/
PERRY: Which is why Cat Grant wasn't invited back to poker a second time.
ER: Jimmy got too distracted? CAT: If I only distracted Jimmy, then I have no right being me. PERRY: /clears throat/ Alice has spies *everywhere*! LOIS: Clark was supposed to be listening to ME! My cattiness was justified. Also, I said 'now'. Clearly, she's had more fun previously.
CLARK: /tries to look at own shoulder/ I don’t see a dogtag on my neck saying ‘property of Lois Lane’. Do you? LOIS: Yes. Keep walking. EW: Isn't he implying that Lois never would let a story slip between her fingers?
ER: He’s also implying that Lois would do all the lifting in their relationship. CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e045.gif) Wouldn't she do so anyway? CLARK: I never said anything about touching your... uh-hem... 'end'. Although... /fades off into daydream land, again/
LOIS: <that’s why I can’t use males as partners>
CAT: /wave/
LOIS: No. That could be a fun story. Lois and Cat team up to discover the hidden depths of Superman. CLARK:  NOR: So what you're saying is that Earth women are too difficult to tame and we should try to colonize another planet?
CLARK: Well…I didn’t really use my powers to tame her. I was just trying to be persuasive. But hey, whatever works. I hear Venus got some fine women. Oh, you mean... ![[Linked Image]](http://osck.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/maxima-1.jpg) LOIS: I have wiles! Clark! /hits her partner/ Tell Michael I have wiles.
CLARK: Tons of them! <likes his woman shapely>
LOIS: See. Wait. Was that sarcastic or did you just call me fat?
CLARK: <can’t win with Lois>
LOIS: And you better not forget it! Like Luthor, Clark appreciates a challenge. CLARK: What do you mean 'like Luthor'? Now, that's just insulting. CLARK: But they weren't Lois, therefore, they weren't in my dating range.
ER: So, his dating range is actually determined by the multi-verse theory?
CLARKs: /wave/
ER: Sorry. And also by just how many Alt-Clarks have already been killed off by their respective Tempus. That actually doesn't come up in this story. LOIS: We don't walk in those neighborhoods and anyway, they're usually in bed when we walk to work.
ER: Had to make sure to keep Clark from getting the wrong idea about how Lois dresses? LOIS: What's wrong with how I dress? CLARK: I like the way Lois looks. CAT: There's really no accounting for taste, is there? Riiiight.
LOIS: See? He said I’m right.
clap
CLARK: Suuuuuure.
LOIS: See, even you agree.
ER: I just realized! She’s just like Sheldon. Doesn’t get sarcasm. Is always right. Got a thing for Superman. For a second there, I thought you meant Sheldon Bender (not Sheldon from BBT) and freaked out. LOIS: You forgot certified genius. ER: Well…Lois sure looked the part when she tried to get with Stoke.
EW: You mean the shorty-shorts?
ER: And the other…short parts of her clothing. /implying her lack of a proper neck covering/ But Lois was talking about the girl's shorts, nothing else. CLARK: Lois wore a shirt to Stoke's Club? Are you sure? I can't remember one. EW: Didn't Dr. Baines already turn on the chemicals before she kissed Clark, though?
ER: So, at least they’d die all together in a nice fireball instead of Dr. Baines dying all alone in a nice fireball? So, how exactly is that better? CLARK: I don't head butt people often, but the last time I tried to do it with a soccer ball it ended up orbiting the moon. I know, I saw it when I went to stop Nightfall.
ER: So, he’s not good at controlling his head?
LOIS: Okay, so Superman’s out for nookie. Let’s see…The Flash? . Done. Next… Wow. The Flash is fast. FLASH: What? She called my name. That's really all it takes. LOIS: /drooling over Clark/
CLARK: Nope. Inconclusive. I just can't tell if she likes me.
CAT: Okay, he’s gay. Jimmmmmy! LOIS: /fist pump/ JIMMY: The idiot tells one woman he’d do another woman? RALPH: I keep hoping that'll lead to a three-some, but it hasn't happened yet. LOIS: Yet? ER: He must be stalking her.
EW: Maybe he's stalking Kent.
ER: Like in those stories people tell about Batman and Robin? SUPERMAN: Riiiiiight. Clark Kent is my ward. ER: Sent him to meet a bomb?
LOIS: Not on purpose!
ER: Feeling guilty, are we? LOIS: No! I don't ever feel guilty!  What if they could also lower the taxes?
POLITICIANS: /rotflol/
What if they *said* they would lower the taxes but then invented a new tax to outweigh the lowered taxes? Hey, that sounds fairly accurate. OPERATOR: So, you’re not in any present danger, then?
LOIS: Only in breaking my heart by telling my partner that I love him.
OPERATOR: Oh, why didn't you say so? We'll have emergency personnel sent to your location immediately.
ER: She doesn’t sound very sincere. Or is she talking about a psychiatrist they send to talk people off a ledge? Actually, no sarcasm was meant. Women understand heart ache. EW: I was going for Romantic Comedy.
ER: Aren’t you always? Um... Yeah... Sure... That sounds good.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
Great set-up! I love the premise. Lois's thoughts and wrong conclusions are delightful.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020 |
Inspired by KatherineKent’s suggestion Woo hoo! You're posting. I've been waiting and waiting for this. Yay. I'm going to have to be careful with my comments, though. Don't want to give anything away! Lois opened her eyes, closed them again to wipe the sleepers away, and then opened them to verify that yes, indeed, she had woken up before her alarm clock. By two minutes. I hate that.  Kisses to melt her kneecaps? Can I have some of those? Instead, she had dreamed of Clark being so one-sided. Could she ever see him being so cardboard? So much like a stereotypical man, instead of the sweet, genuine, caring… Clark could never be one-sided or stereotypical. Hmm, I wonder if he really was cardboard in the dream. You know, turn him sideways and you can see the edge ... the cardboard ridges. Clark would never think like the man in her dream! Certainly, never act like that. Hmm, I wonder what Clark was doing in this dream. Something, clearly, un-Clark-like. Okay, so instead of sweet, genuine, caring ... he was rude, fake, dismissive? Then again, the Superman clone had acted a bit like that Clark from her dream. Ahh, a jerk, only after ... you know. One: Clark was a true gentleman. Oh, absolutely. And, by the way, sooo glad you managed to show this throughout the fic. although, if she stripped for him again, he might take friends with benefits. Maybe he was as flawed as the Clark in her dream was. Okay, so the Clark from her dream was only interested in 'looks', not personality and substance. Ahh. No wonder he was cardboard/one-dimensional. She had thought he was trying to worm his way into her bedroom? Me?
“If I ever gave you the impression that I would… I’m so sorry, Lois, I would never, never invade…” Clark is such a gentleman, but I wonder if Lois wanted him to want to see inside her bedroom! She smiled at him. “I know, Clark, that’s just what I thought.” And even though she's smiling I think there is disappointment inside her heart. “My Uncle Mike’s Café Americana is over on the Southside Ummm, the ominous drums are playing in my head ... Mayson is on the horizon, isn't she? “No, what’s with the smile?” Lois probed, pointing at his face.
“I can’t smile?” Clark's smiling ... just cause it's a nice day, and just cause he's with Lois, and so many other lovely things, but Lois thinks he smiling because of the blonde - I guess. Clark had stopped to help a couple of Norwegian tourists find their way to their hotel Clark being gentlemanly again! Lois will get rather fed up ... and I notice something of a pattern emerging ... but gonna keep my lips sealed. Did you find Linda King attractive? Okay Lois has mentioned at least four woman from Clark's past who have shown interest in him ... for someone who had little respect for her partner when they first met she sure took notice of who took notice of him. Tonight! Yes, Lois would stop by his apartment tonight after all this craziness had calmed down, and she would tell Clark that she loved him. Woo Hoo. Lois should definitely tell him how she feels. And it's bound to go completely without hitch. Why would anything ever go wrong? Fantastic first part Virginia. Can't wait for the rest.
KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020 |
With 3 parts there is plenty of room for mis-understandings and finally the WAFFY ending that should be there in the end (especially since you got the plot bunny from Victoria ). Are you saying that I'm just full of WAFF!!! I resent that remark ... I can write angst ... I think, sometimes, I've ... uh... Okay, I hate angst.
KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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