Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - What a Gentleman Desires (2/3)

What a Gentleman Desires TOC

Per all of your requests, I've brought Mayson in to throw gasoline upon the fire.

Thank you all for reading and the wonderful comments.

Part 2 - yay

I knew it. As soon as Uncle Mike's cafe was mentioned...

Lois is so jealous. How did it take her so long to realise that she just wants Clark all to herself.



Oh yeah. Clark is soooo interested in Mayson. Lois, you may as well give up the fight now.

*gasp* He's actually interested? Or maybe he's just teasing Lois. We know he likes to do that.

Yup. I love that Clark noticed this and is VERY happy about it.

No, no, Don't lose hope. You were right the first time round!

No. That's NOT what she meant. CLARK! Don't be stupid. Come on! I feel like slapping him around the head. He's just so humble and self-deprecating that he can never contemplate that a woman (Lois) might think he's the most wonderful man in the whole world.

Okay, so my prediction of Lois telling Clark she has feeling for him going off without a hitch was ... completely waaay off.

NOOOOOO. What!!!!!! Clark would never close his eyes and allow himself to enjoy a kiss from anyone other than Lois. What happened?

Sounds good.

Except. I don't think Clark is actually being as stupid as she thinks ... so whatever she tries to do ... probably won't work ... and she'll be even more upset!

No. That wasn't what she meant ... the 'new' thing you're supposed to try ... it's her ... it's LOIS!

Spot on for Bobby!

Loved it. Can't wait for the final part.

I loved this part!! But the part that made me LOL was

Bobby summed up the first two seasons in one paragraph but particularly the last sentence.

The last part should be fun !

Mike

MAYSON: Of course an ADA has to dress better than the ladies of the night she’s prosecuting.

He does realize that this is Lois we’re talking about here, right?
LOIS: He’s feeble attempts at threatening me are adorable, don’t you agree, Clark?
CLARK:

I wonder if she’d be less catty where the blonde ADA merely a blonde DA.
LOIS: She’d already be well into her forties by then, so yeah, that would be preferred.
CLARK: Me flirting with a significantly older woman who likes to date outside her non-creepy dating pool?

That’s why she stayed with Lex for so long?
LOIS: Wrong Lois.

Let me introduce you. Lois Lane, Mayson Drake. Mayson Drake, this is the other woman.

Okay, don’t read that last bit while you’re tired and prone to yawn. ‘p’s go missing. ‘d’s turn into ‘s’ and ‘t’. It just gets weird.

MAYSON: I’ve been into guys ever since my senior year of college. Brunettes dressed for business are just not my type.

Well…he’s obviously a very rare specimen in need of protection.
CLARK: I’m a very patient man. Why should I carry protection?

CLARK: How did she figure out I’m Superman and can dangle crooks off rooftops until they still their guts.
DILLINGER: That was because of the fake-butter-soaked popcorn, not because of him dangling me.

Apparently he did recognize her come-on.

CLARK: What? She’s got her taxi-light on, which means she’s available for a ride.

CLARK: The nice blonde woman was speaking to me.

She’s just saying that because that’s what the Prankster did with her last week.

What? He might want to ask her out on a date or something. I think it’s considerate that Mayson didn’t make him stalk her at the courthouse.



Isn’t a Chinese dragon often described as a feathered serpent? So, yes, I believe that was an honest mistake by Lois.

HOOKER waiting for her booking: I thought it was highly professional.

From jealous wives?

MARTIN SNELL: My client was obviously set up by ADA Drake and her boytoy over there.

But Superman wouldn’t be showing Clark a good time while he’s with him.
SUPERMAN:

Because she’d also be happy to show him a good time?


LOIS: Why did the ER skip the karate-bit?


CLARK: I think I’ll ask Lois to be my best man at the wedding. After all, she set this up and Jimmy would just rent a dozen strippers.
JIMMY: I can’t afford a dozen.

Maybe the city pulled the law enforcement resources over into the better neighborhoods with the taxpaying and donating voters?

3 out of 4 isn’t too bad, is it?

MAYSON: What? The woman is just a gossip monger.

Nah, she just doesn’t want to be partnered with a stooge.

Like a little brother, huh?

LOIS:

He’s kind of elaborate in his paranoia, isn’t he?

LOIS:

Doesn’t mean she has to like it if her drip of a partner gets the tripper from sleeping with every willing woman who flaunts it his way.

To be fair, she was to be engaged to a very wealthy man and also had her eyes set on a torrid affair with the local vigilante.

Aww…he’s jealous. Again.


LOIS: What does he mean by ‘Galactically Stupid’?

She did tell him not to fall for her. She doesn’t have the time.
H.G.Wells:

That’s what I had Revenge developed for.



Yeah, can you imagine, her being covered in yellow paint when she tells him that she loves him?

Ooooh, look! Clark’s home. And he’s brought a squeeze with him.

CLARK: Puppies. Flowers. Rainbow. Please, just make it stop!

CUPID: Oops?

So, it goes ‘slut’ and then ‘laywer’?

Well…that’s just honest competition. All’s fair in love and war, isn’t it?

Call his newest squeeze and ask her to back off?

/points at the one with the Bachelor Auction/ Hmm…there’s also quite a few fics where Lois gets drunk. Intentionally. And then has intimate relations with her partner. Unintentionally, or so she later claims.







How drunken binges start…

To be fair, all the other girls (sic) also think that he’s a superior example of man flesh (sic).

Yet another reason to hate his girlfriends, huh?



TEMPUS: Now playing in a movie theater near you…


?

Huh?

In case he knocks her up?

To prove Mayson is in bed with Bill Church?

So, he should take Mayson into the shower?

Duh! He’s a guy. Clark’s a guy. No attraction lost there.



She did not say he was doing a human.
CLARK: The ER thinks my girlfriend’s a sexbot?

Drawing diagrams?



LOIS: That’s because I prefer to work with people who are right instead of wrong.

Isn’t it funny how it’s the same situation as it was back when with Lex, only then it was Lois jumping into the bed with the morally-challenged.

/points at The Pact by KatherineKent/

LOIS:

Well, there’s various tropes in regard to this. One has to do with passive-aggressive behavior. The other with a 28-day cycle.


LOIS:

Maybe Bobby could start by nixing all the locations that would not be it.
BOBBY: Let’s see…Lois’s kitchen would be number one…


LOIS & CLARK’s kids: So? We can say the same thing about basically anything that not toxic waste.

Anyone but Lois, apparently.
CLARK: That’s not true. I’d love to please Lois but she isn’t interested. She just asks me to get her a new pack of batteries. Must be all those Ivory Tower marathons she’s always having.



Plus, he doesn’t like the taste of crow. That one time when he yawned while flying back from an all-nighter that been enough to last him a lifetime.

So, no STDs?





Like in “What’s the difference between a college co-ed and an ADA?”
MAYSON: I’m not a college co-ed. I have a law degree.

Oooh! That would be a great cover for Mayson. All she has to do is work to the best of her abilities, but sleep with the state’s star witnesses.





That was a very entertaining mid-part. And now, for the grand finale!

Michael

Delightful

Oh, you are all so kind to fill up my inbox today. Thank you.

KatherineKent: First one in to brighten my morning.

You knew that Lois couldn't be properly jealous unless Clark went on a real date?
CLARK: Date? Mayson and I aren't dating. It was just one kiss. We're just friends.

About 5 minutes after she realized that if she didn't take Clark off the market, some other woman would.

LOIS: Wait! /dries eyes/ I don't cry over a man. I'll make *him* cry!

It's just a business card. Mayson's the D.A. for the case against the man he saw bomb Mike's restaurant. It's purely business. He's doing it for Lois.
LOIS: /scoffs/ Yeah. Right.

Why wouldn't he be? Like Lois, he appreciates being proved right.

But don't worry. There's only one part left. I could surprise you and they might invite Lois to the wedding.

CLARK: No? Are you sure? This is Lois. She doesn't like me.

Rumor has it that happens in my stories.

CLARK: My mom taught me it was only polite to kiss with your eyes closed. Was she wrong?

EW: /sets out a supply of green crusted baseball bats for readers to hand to Lois./

TEMPUS: /rubs hands in glee/ Delightful. I just love it when good guy's plans fail. Popcorn anyone?

I love you yelling at my characters. Sometimes, I wish they could hear you.
CLARK: But Lois isn't "new", she's "old".
LOIS: What was that?
CLARK: What? You hear the voices too?

Thank you. I find him one of my favorite guest appearances.

Thank you. Is Wednesday soon enough?

Mike M: Thank you for reading.

Thank you. Always nice to hear.

BOBBY: Oh, my bad. Should I go back and un-say it, so you can still have S1 & S2?

I thought so. Thank you for commenting.


Framework4: Thanks for popping in!

Thank you. Just brushing up on my bantering skills.

Darth Michael: Another two-part FDK. Thank you.
LOIS: Yep, Perry, I'm sure there's something rotten in the D.A.'s office. I can smell it from here.

CLARK: Michael's Right. Lois is unforgettable.
CLARK: Definitely a low level thug, Lois.

LOIS: No, but I'd have my reporter's notebook out as I wrote up about misconduct in the DA's office.

Because older women are *never* interested younger handsome men?

Nope. Canon Lois didn't quit Lex.
CLARK: Must you rub it in.
LOIS: I quit him. I turned him down at the altar.

LOIS: Thank you, Michael. Ms. Skank, let the games begin.

"And I just wantes to say about their resonse time, I've seen male dri faster." Oooooh. Now I see it. It helps when I read the instructions properly. I thought you wrote 's' change to 't', and I wondered what got 'fatter'.

Not romantically interested; interested in as a person.

LOIS: What does that have to do with Mayson having big ears? Wait. Why do you carry protection?
CLARK: I don't.
LOIS: /nods/ Okay. Don't worry. I'm always prepared.
CLARK: What?

She undressed him with her eyes?
CLARK: Cousin Kara?!

SUPERMAN: Ooops! Butter fingers. I guess, I'll order my popcorn without butter next time. (Also, TOGoM hasn't happened yet.)

CLARK: No. I was reacting to the flattery.
LOIS: As if it was your first time.
CLARK: Well, it has been a while.
LOIS: /slaps his chest/ I flatter you all the time.
CLARK: You know time moves faster for me than others, but still once a year doesn't equal 'all the time'.
LOIS: It does for me.
CAT: Explains a lot, doesn't it?

MAYSON: And, Judge, when we're finished with Mr. Rage, I'd like to lodge a sexual harassment suit against my main witness. Thank you.

LOIS: Oh, shut up, Clark. If you hadn't noticed. Pretty women talk to you all the time.
CLARK: /looking at Lois/ I know.
LOIS:

PRANKSTER: I boiled her in the hot seat? Darn. I missed that.

LOIS: That's professional.

MAYSON: D.A. Clemmons, we really must do something about Superman. I think he's following me.

Is a drake another name for dragon? Let's see Draco Malfoy supposed is, so I guess it is. Works for me.

Except that Mayson was taking her corner?

No, just any complaints.

LOIS: Cllaaark! You ruined the case against the man who tried to bomb my uncle's cafe!

How patient is Clark anyway?

No, no. Lois wouldn't do that.
LOIS: Okay, Clark, strip. The bad guys can't see us if we're naked!

EW: Wonders why ER is letting Lois berate him so, or what Karate bit from Prankster she's referring to? The part with the spatula? Or was that invisible man?

As a member of the wedding party, he would still be able to enjoy them, though, right?
JIMMY: I'm okay with being an usher.
LOIS: I'm not buying you ANY strippers, Clark!
CLARK: Ooooh, Lois. Are you going to break out that harem costume again?

Sounds reasonable.

Completely - check. Totally - check. Irrationally - check. Jealous - no check?

LOIS: Let me at her! I'm going to tear her in two!

The true reason Cat left?

CLARK:
LOIS: No!

CLARK: Have I just been insulted?
Reeve-CLARK: /pats his shoulder/ Don't worry. It just means the disguise is working.
CLARK: Didn't you grow up on this planet as Clark Kent, too? Why are you acting as if that part of you doesn't exist?

Lois is kind of an elaborate sort of woman.

CLARK: I really shouldn't date anyone so willing to harm another human being.

The tripper? That sounds painful.

LOIS: Exactly!

Always.

It's just something Clark calls himself from time to time. Just ignore him.

WELLS: No, no. I only get involved if there's a chance the curse might be enacted. Doesn't stand a chance here.

Oh, dear. Has Michael turned into Miranda?

She meant with real bullets.

Bad Clark. Bad boy indeed.

Puppies, flowers, and rainbows give Clark unromantic thoughts?
CLARK: What can I say? I was a child in the 70s.

*** Continuation of Response to Darth Michael's FDK ***
APHRODITE: Eros, honey, you should have told me that you were color-blind, sweetie. Mommy could have fixed that problem.

Yep. The insults get progressively worse.

CLARK: /forms T with his hands/ Time-Out! I don't want anyone to get killed. Okay, ladies, winner takes all in a mud wrestling match.
MAYSON: Excuse me.
LOIS: /cracks neck and knuckles/ I can do that.

CLARK: Hey, Mayson, sorry about calling so late. Could you roll over and tell Mr. Church to have his guys lay off Mike's Cafe Americana? It's really developing a crimp in my relationship with Lois. Thanks.

So, Lois should go back to Clark's after he's already had Mayson? He might be too tired.

Yeah. I just can't see Lois ordering one of those in her current mode.
LOIS: Vodka. And leave the bottle.

Yeah. Him too.

ELLEN:

CLARK: Are you implying that Kryptonian bodies don't contain flesh with those remarks?

It's always good to have a spare reason.

I was thinking she'd more likely turn into Robin from HIMYM.

TEMPUS: What? No! That's not what I meant at all!
HERB: Tempus, you complete me.

LOIS: No!
I think Michael wants you to try it anyway.
CLARK: /raises hand to second the motion/ It couldn't hurt.

CLARK: I can impregnate Earth women?
LOIS: Not the reaction I was expecting.

Possibly.

MAYSON:
LOIS: I was thinking more Hob's Bay.

So, everything has to do with sexual attraction, no matter what the story might be?

LOIS: Grrrr. Girlfriend?

CLARK: Is that like Pictionary?

CLARK: But you *like* to work with me, which means I can be right every once in a while.
LOIS: Don't press your luck.

No. Because Clark was right both times.

CLARK: Sooooo, she really wants a building to fall on her and Green Lantern to save the day?

LOIS: *Or* the most obvious choice is the simplest. He's plain wrong.

This is going to take a while.

CLARK: What do you mean they've tried your cooking? Great. Now we'll have Family Services on our back.

Perhaps she cooks when she's upset and she's constantly needing to replace her smoke detector batteries?



CLARK: Cooked crow is much better.

Not involved with Intergang.



RALPH: I'm going to go with "A sense of humor".

So, maybe Mayson has been sleeping with Church this whole time?

I had to up the angst due to the SW:ESB clause.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Really enjoyed Mason coming into the story--Lois is normally at her 'best' when she is all worked up about Mason, and definitely she was here. I loved how Clark loved that she was jealous--and the fact that he picked up on it right away.

The parts where Lois was snippy with Mason and Clark was giving her a look/a warning glare/where Lois called her Ms. Snake...the back and forths between Lois and Clark there were really classic. It came across as so authentically 'them'--I could just picture these moments unfolding

Bobby was written so 'Bobby'--wow, you really captured him . And way to go, Bobby, telling Clark how obvious it is that Clark is in love with Lois. Clark being so surprised that Bobby had figured his feelings out was . Come on Clark, we all know how much you've always loved Lois, too .

Looking forward to seeing how you wrap everything up--should be a blast!

Great story
Laura

More FDK!

LMA: Hi Laura

Sometimes one needs motivation to kickstart them into action. Mayson is that motivation for Lois.

They don't realize that they're already acting like a couple, do they?

Thank you.

I think it was in the Phoenix, when Clark asked Lois out that Bobby mentioned something about "about time".

Yes. Yes, it will be. /rubs hands with glee/

Gosh. Oh, golly. Gee, thanks, Laura. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Oh, I love this chapter!

I agree you nailed the characters.

Mayson is a delicious addition to the mix. And definitely pushing Lois's buttons.

Both Lois and Clark coming to the wrong conclusions about each other is priceless, in character and funny.


I think this is my favorite paragraph. Although Clark's reaction is a very close second! Bobby explaining things to Clark so clearly and succinctly while using both legal and personal arguments is perfect!

Looking forward to Part 3.

LOL...yeah, you're not subtle, Lois!


Great that he sees her jealousy, but funny that his thoughts go off on a totally different tangent.


I like the way you phrased that.



This was great! I love it when Bobby hints that he knows things...him just flat out telling Clark that his love for Lois is beyond obvious is fabulous.

Looking forward to part 3!
Susan

Yea! More FDK!

cuidadora: Thank you for commenting.

Sounds like a good reason to Can I join?

Thank you.

Mayson and Dan went to the same button pushing school and competed for valedictorian.

Hee-hee. Thank you. That's part of the fun.

But will Clark listen?

Looking forward to everyone's reaction.

Glad you enjoyed it.


groobie: Thank you for reading.

Hmmm. I guess you're right about that.

Yeah, I nudged his manly pride a bit there.

Thank you.

I found that quote from The Phoenix:
I just moved that admission a few episodes earlier. It's always fun to take an episode in a complete unexpected direction.

Gee, with all this outpouring of love, I might have to post early. Hmmmm. I'll consider it.

Its a good story, please do so.

You’re welcome!

Did Lois bring Mayson homemade cookies?

Meow!

Hence Clark’s worry.
LOIS: But…but…but…*Mother* never was interested in any man not named Jack or Daniel after she was past forty!

So, she *almost* went through with it. And in the end, she thought he deserved a better woman. A woman who’s not pining after another guy.

Lois after Halloween?


Let me guess, none of them has an older packaging date then the day of Superman’s arrival?


Jor-El: Aaaawkward!

She’s just like Christmas, isn’t she?

Can you actually do that if it’s not an employer-employee relationship and no physical contact was involved?



What? *She’s* dressing up as ‘available’ to get inside scoops.
LOIS: That’s because I’m a woman. When a guy does it, it’s creepy and unprofessional.

SUPERMAN:





CLARK




It did work in that one story by Editor Jax where she sent L&C to New Orleans during Mardi Gras.

That one’s lost to the ages?

So, private bachelor party for Clark, then?

Actually, the irrationally one’s the fail.

MAYSON: /deadpans/

Perry introduced the new hire she was to work with?
RALPH:

Reeve-CLARK: Dad died when I was young. I try to forget that part. Plus, I got there during Kindergarten, so some of my personality was already formed.

LOIS: I’ll kill him!

So, trying to not upset your female lead character?
LOIS: What does the ER mean by ‘female’? I *am* the *lead* character. Period.
CLARK: She’s having her period?
ER: That last one just fell into place…

He’s not very good at determining human intent, is he?
TEMPUS:

There should have been ‘Lex’ or ‘Miranda’ prefixed.

I was thinking ‘happy place thoughts’?






JIMMY: /buys popcorn/
RALPH: Can I have some? /lunges in/

I’m not sure that would put him in good standing with Mayson. She might even nix the ‘ski’-weekend.



ELLEN: My daughter!

No. Gender reference. Not species.

Robin?





But would that get her clean?
LOIS: Is that relevant?

/points at ‘author’ column/



Yes, he always has to uncover two pieces that match.



Oops?

CLARK: Right. Wait, that’s not a trope, is it?



Uh-huh.

And yet, they both want to put him into jail when she jumps out of a closet at a girls dorm, dressed as The Naked Man with a clown mask and very large shoes.
CO-ED: He was exaggerating with the shoes.

No, I’m sure that could get her disbarred.

Always.

Michael

Morgana: Thank you for commenting.

I'll keep it under advisement. Perhaps tomorrow... Perhaps Wednesday as usual.

More FDK FDK! Any reason for the triple empty quote blocks? Did something get lost in translation?

I doubt Lois would waste her time in that manner.

Ewwwww. Ellen went after DAN?
LOIS: I knew I didn't like Rocky Road.

That would explain why she kissed him after telling him 'no'.

The only Halloween story (KenJ's) that we got this year, seems to point to Lois getting enough exercise to burn off all the calories.

LOIS: I plead the Fifth.

MAYSON: What? Me? No! Can first cousins date on Krypton?
CLARK: I doubt it.
MAYSON: Then definitely not.

You mean a gift that's only opened once a year?
CLARK: Where's Herb and that time machine?

I don't think so. Right now, it's a big issue about women getting harassed walking down the street. It was listed as a crime in the penal code I referenced in Lois and Clark Do 100 Crimes thread.
CAT: Uh-oh.

LOIS: /doesn’t realize that Clark is referring to her and gets all huffy/

I thought the "she" was Mayson.

CLARK: Ma, it happened again.

Ooooh. I haven't read that one! Would that be over on the Archives, per chance? Or is that something else I should look for over at Annie's Nfic Archives?

JIMMY: So, I'm NOT invited? Man, that sucks.

Okay, I was wondering there.

And gave Clark to Cat?
CAT:

I thought it was more like Age 3.

Not really helping her case there, is she?

And you wonder why your Lois-Muse has been absent lately?

It's part of HG Wells's charm.

And going to his "happy place" will stop him from being aroused?

CAT: Only if I get to write it up.

LOIS: /pats his shoulder/ Aw shucks, huh, Clark. Well, better luck next time.

HIMYM = How I Met Your Mother.

I take offense at that and any other statement of fact that implies my characters don't take their work seriously.

CLARK: Keep taking off clothing. I don't see any matches yet.
EW: What does that have to do with Pictionary?
LOIS: I was wondering the same thing?
CLARK: But Mayson said that's how this game was played.

Not always, then it gets predictable.

I have no idea where you just went, but that sounds like grounds for Perry not to hire Ralph.

Only if its discovered he's the head of Intergang.
MAYSON: Honestly, D.A. Clemmons I had *no* idea that my married ex-boss whom I was sleeping was also head of an international crime syndicate.
LOIS: Explains a lot about the D.A.'s office in Metropolis conviction rate, doesn't it?

I feel rather stupid that this never occurred to me. I like this direction you're taking.