LUCY LANE IS COMING TO TOWN
PART ONE
“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why…”
Lucy Lane looked out the tiny, circular window of the airplane, humming her favorite Christmas carol in an attempt to settle her nerves and remember that this season was supposed to be a jolly one. She should not be nervous or preoccupied. But she was. She had a problem. Well, two problems actually. A family problem and a financial problem. And they kind of, at this point, intertwined with each other.
There was the family problem. Her parents were complete nuts, for starters. When she had been asked to make a decision about who she wanted to stay with when she visited Metropolis for the holidays, the choice had been easy. Lois. She had made the reservations long ago, saving herself money. She was proud of her level of responsibility in doing that. Normally she wasted an extra hundred dollars or so by making the reservations last minute. And last year, she had waited so long, she couldn’t get a seat on any flight and had to stay in California for Christmas.
This year, she had been good though! Responsible. The plans with Lois had been made months ago. Before the thing with Johnny happened. Johnny Corbin. Oh, he’d seemed great at first. Cute and fun to be around. She’d eventually, with Lois’s persistence, grown to see what a jerk he was, taking her tip money and basically using her. Like every other guy in her life, he had not respected her. She’d been a pretty face and a good body. And the one guy who had made her think he liked her for who she was and thought she had a brain inside of that pretty head, turned out to be the worst boyfriend in the world. But worse… he created The Lois Problem, which, whether she liked it or not, she now had to deal with.
The realization that Johnny was a jerk was not a simple run of the mill realization. It wasn’t like the time she saw Freddy Jenkins kissing Martha Fillmore at a party or the time she saw Tim Biggs harassing kids that were *much* smaller than him behind the school one day after school. No, with Johnny it was not simple or plainly evident that he was a jerk of the worst kind. First he had become a robot. He had sported a cold, metal chest and had become very strong, hurting her a bit in the process. *Then* he had kidnapped Lois’s best friend and just a really nice guy, Clark Kent. And then he’d been killed and her sister had been forced to use the humiliating experience as a front page story for her paper. She had appreciated Lois’s help in that mess. And she had understood that Lois needed to write that story. And Lois had protected her, as always, in that story. She hadn’t even mentioned her name.
Lucy was always making a mess of Lois’s life. Ever since they were young girls. And Lois was always being Lois. Helping her out of those messes. Reacting like a responsible grown up. Protecting Lucy. Lois always protected her! But she had never messed up so badly in her life as she had with the whole Johnny situation. She had gotten Clark kidnapped! Clark was the nicest guy. She’d only met him a few times, but he was always so sincere and sweet. He was funny too. He never looked at any woman like they were a piece of meat or something. He didn’t seem perverted or crude or bad-intentioned. He was every bit as genuinely nice and good as he seemed. And he really understood her sister, who was a little bit of a mystery to so many people – her especially! Lois had never had a friend like Clark before. She’d never held onto a friend for so long, either. And he’d nearly died… at *her* boyfriend’s hands, no less. The same boyfriend Lois had *warned* her about! She never listened to Lois until it was too late. It was just the way it was.
She was going to Lois’s for Christmas and she was determined to make everything okay. She really had to make it up to her sister. It wasn’t right that Lois always had to take care of her. It wasn’t right that Lois always received the brunt of punishment for all her problems. Lucy would start a fight with Lois, when they were little, pulling Lois’s hair, and Lois would pull her hair back. But who always got yelled at? Lois! Lucy made fun of kids at school with her friends, and Lois yelled at her in the schoolyard. Who got detention? Lois! Lucy made a bad choice in boyfriends, *again*. Who paid the price? Lois! And Clark, this time, too.
It was always the same and it was driving her nuts! They were grown now. It had to be different! It just had to be.
When she had asked Lois if it was still alright for her to stay at her place for Christmas, Lois had said, “of course!” It was not surprising, really. She had been understanding, in the end, of the Johnny mess. A great sister. A friend, even. And they’d parted on good terms. But… Lucy didn’t feel right about it. It had been in the back of her mind ever since she’d returned to California. But now… she had to deal with it.
She needed to get Lois the perfect present! She had always screwed that up royally as a kid, too. One Christmas, she had gotten Lois coal as a joke. It was just a joke! She’d just wanted to make Lois laugh! She’d never forget the wounded look on Lois’s face that day. Lois had saved so much money to get Lucy the doll she had been talking about for months. It was just awful.
Another Christmas, when they were older, Lucy wrapped something for Lois that was hers. She hoped Lois wouldn’t notice. But it turned out it had been a hand-me-down, and Lois had owned it before giving it to her. She actually did buy things some Christmases, but it was always either something she had, something she absolutely didn’t want or need, something that was generic, like a candle or earrings (ultimate proof she didn’t know her sister well enough). Lois always smiled though and thanked her. She didn’t seem to care too much.
But Lucy cared. Now she cared more than ever.
She could never forget the look on Lois’s face when she told Lucy what Johnny had done. Her sister – strong and indomitable in her eyes – had been on the verge of tears, nearly shaking out of worry for Clark.
Lucy put her head back on the headrest as the plane *finally* took off, after the aimless taxiing and the safety demonstration.
She had to get Lois something great. She owed Lois a lot. The perfect gift would surely settle those debts. It had to! She couldn’t bear these thoughts of guilt that always flooded her when she thought about her sister. She knew it shouldn’t be that way anymore. She had to make it so it was not that way anymore.
But therein lay her second problem. The Financial Problem.
Once her rent, bills, cost of living and plane ticket were factored into the balance on her bank statement, which she held tightly in her hand, staring at it, almost willing the number to change, she only had about twenty-two dollars to spare. And once she factored in gifts for her parents, she only had about seven dollars left for Lois.
Who could buy her sister the perfect present with only seven dollars?
“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why…” she hummed, trying once again to settle her nerves and remember that this time of the year was supposed to be jolly!
* * *
“Kiss kiss, Sis!” Lucy said as she ran into her sister’s arms.
Lois Lane smiled. For all the things that might change as the years went on, Lucy was always the same. She marveled at that thought, wondrously. Here she was, a mere two months after yet another boyfriend stomped all over her – and this one was the worst; a killer, a madman, a robot, he used her and abused her – she could still come off an airplane giddily, saying “kiss kiss, sis!” like she did every time she saw her sister after having been away from her a time.
“How was your flight?” Lois asked, pulling back from the hug to take in her sister’s appearance. She looked tanned and beautiful. And she looked like she always did; like she had not a care in the world.
“It was great. I read this book that I really think you’ll like. I’ll try to finish it while I’m here so I can lend it to you!” she said, linking her arm through Lois’s as they walked.
Lois smiled and handed Lucy a coat she had brought with her. “You’re in Metropolis now.”
“I know,” Lucy said, taking the coat and putting it on. “I already miss the California sun. It’s freezing here! That’s what the captain said when we were coming in for landing.”
“Well, the captain was right. It’s about ten degrees outside.”
“Thanks for bringing me a coat, Lois,” Lucy said, smiling genuinely at her.
Lois smiled, tilting her head, confused by the semi-emotional look on her sister’s face. “Well, what are big sisters for? I’m just looking out for you. You wouldn’t make it to my car in a long-sleeved tee-shirt,” she laughed. “Then Mom and Dad would kill me. The only instruction I got was to keep you alive!”
Lucy smiled and they continued walking, arm-in-arm. “So… how are things? How’s Clark?”
“Things are good. Clark’s good,” Lois said.
Then she remembered. Oh, right. Last time Lucy saw Clark, he was pretty weak. He’d suffered a bit at the hands of Lucy’s latest romantic screw up. This one had been bad for Lucy… but it had been bad for her and her partner too.
“I hope he won’t mind seeing me,” Lucy said.
“Lucy… Clark knows you had nothing to do with what Johnny did. He’s excited you’re here, actually. He wants to catch up. He really likes you,” she assured her.
It was funny… even as they got older, Lois’s protective instincts where Lucy was concerned were still intact. Still very strong. She didn’t want her sister thinking Clark somehow judged her for any of that past business. She knew it was not in his nature to do that anyway. But Lucy didn’t know that. And it was obvious that unchanging as Lucy was, she still held onto things. Still felt them strongly. And Lois had no choice but to do what she always did on instinct – quell her sister’s worries as best she could.
* * *
“So, Lois, what do you want for Christmas?” Lucy asked, throwing a blanket onto the couch, getting ready to settle in for the night.
Lois was on her laptop, deeply engrossed in… something… probably a boring something.
“A new car,” Lois said, distractedly, not looking up.
“Actually, I was thinking a suggestion maybe under twenty-thousand dollars,” Lucy said. “To be honest, under ten dollars would be ideal,” she added to herself.
Lois smiled and looked up. “Lucy, you don’t have to get me anything. Honestly. I know you don’t have a lot of money right now. I don’t expect anything.”
“From me,” Lucy thought. “You don’t expect anything from me.” Lucy sighed. Lois never expected anything from her little sister. Or, rather, she never expected anything from her and when she did get something, it usually was pretty awful.
Lucy pulled the cover up to her chin and looked at the ceiling.
This Christmas had to be different. It had to be special. What could she possibly get her sister that she would love and want and didn’t already have?
It seemed impossible.
* * *
Lois sent her story to Perry and closed her computer. She walked over to the couch and was surprised to see that Lucy was fast asleep already, when her body was three hours behind! But travel days were tiring.
She looked at her a moment longer, her nose tucked under the blanket. She looked the same as she had as a child. She looked so warm and safe.
Lois walked over and shut the light off in the living room, before going to bed herself, reveling in the happy thoughts that accompanied the idea that it was Christmas and her little sister was here with her.
* * *
* *
“Lucy!” Perry said, running out of his office. “You’re here already? It’s so easy to forget it’s almost Christmas around here,” he said.
Lucy looked around seeing at least five wreaths throughout the newsroom, lots of twinkling lights and a big Happy Holidays sign by the elevator. “Really?”
He smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too, Perry,” she said.
“Now, Lois, just because your sister is here does not mean you get to run all around this town doing your Christmas shopping on your work hours.”
“It never even crossed my mind,” Lois said sweetly.
“But you said that tomorrow – “ Lucy started. But she was cut off by a look from Lois. A look she knew well.
She looked over at Clark’s desk. “Where’s Clark?” she asked.
“Who knows,” Lois said, annoyance creeping into her voice. “He ran off about ten minutes ago like he always does. One of these days…”
She trailed off.
Lucy wondered. One of these days… what? She’d get rid of Clark? Lois adored Clark. That was obvious. He could run off any time he wanted. And he’d always have Lois to return to. They were best friends. That’s what it was all about!
“Lucy! Hi!”
“Ah, there you are! I was just asking about you!” Lucy said, hugging Clark.
He shot a wary look at Lois, who did not turn around to look at him.
“Lois, I’m sorry I – “
“Save it, Clark. I don’t care,” Lois said. And then she got up and stormed over to the coffee machine.
Clark looked at Lois, a mixture of emotions dancing across his expression, ranging from sadness to defeat to fear to… something else. Lucy looked closer. No. It couldn’t be!
“How was your flight?” he asked, turning back to Lucy after a moment.
“Oh, fine. It’s so cold here. I feel like such a snobby Californian! I grew up here, but now that I’m over there, it’s like I completely forget what a cold winter feels like!”
He smiled. “You’ve grown accustomed to a pampered lifestyle.”
“I guess!”
“Clark!” Perry called, leaning out of his office.
Clark turned to Lucy. “I’ll be right back,” he said.
Lucy looked at Lois, who was standing by the coffee machine, staring towards Perry’s office wearing… well, a similar look to the one Clark had just worn.
* * *
He had done it again. She had been in the middle of telling Clark about how good it was to see her little sister after everything that happened a few months ago, how good it felt to see she was okay and moving on with her life healthily and he just took off. He ran out on her.
Again.
She shook her head, grinding her teeth together.
Why did she put up with him?
Well, in a day, they’d have their two days off for Christmas and then the weekend, and she wouldn’t have to think about Clark Kent. He’d probably go to Smallville and she had Lucy in town. She could stop wondering why she still talked to him at all when he always seemed uninterested enough to run away. It was strange. When he was actually around, he seemed immensely interested in everything she had to say. And he was not a rude person. He could not be running away out of disinterest. That was beyond rude.
Oh, he was a mystery.
And *that* was annoying!
But oh… he was her best friend. The most amazing best friend she ever could have hoped for, if she was honest with herself. And there really was no changing that.
Dang it!
* * *
Seven dollars. Seven dollars. Seven dollars! Who could buy a decent present with seven dollars!?
Lucy Lane sat in the unoccupied conference room of the Daily Planet with a notepad on the desk in front of her. She stared at the notes she had scribbled so far, which included:
“Seven dollars couldn’t even buy her decent flowers!”
“You might as well get her coal… AGAIN!”
“Seven! 7!! SEVEN!”
“Okay, Lois wants: a car.”
She knew her sister had been joking in her own little way the night before, but it didn’t change a darn thing. She had to get her sister a present and she had next to nothing. And she still so desperately wanted the present to be perfect! Priceless.
She sat back in her chair and looked out of the conference room window at her sister. She was discussing something with Clark. Some Planet-related something-or-other. The exact kind of thing that led her to ask Perry if there was somewhere else she could sit for awhile, so she “wouldn’t bother” her sister, when really she just couldn’t stand to listen to Lois’s conspiracy theories about everyone in politics or positions of power. Except for Superman. She couldn’t stand her statements about Superman either, though. Superman was such a mold of total perfection in her sister’s eyes. It was funny; Lois always said Lucy had the ability to get hurt over and over because she was too trusting and too naïve. But then she, Lois Lane, was a complete schoolgirl when it came to Superman. And okay, Superman and Johnny Corbin were two very different types of people, so Lois probably was a little smarter and much safer on this. But all the same. Her heart could easily be hurt by him. With Superman, she failed to listen to her own advice, really.
Wouldn’t that be a great present, she thought, biting the eraser on her pencil. To Superman-proof her sister’s heart so she could never be hurt by him. Wow! That *was* a priceless gift. But a near-impossible one.
The only way she could Superman-proof her sister’s heart was if her sister’s affections went toward someone else.
She looked at her sister, who was sitting at her desk, talking to Clark.
“If only they cared about each other,” she said. “He’d be perfect. Definitely a great brother-in-law, too. And really easy on the eyes,” she added with a devilish smile.
She knew they didn’t care for each other, however. Well, Clark she couldn’t tell. He sort of had this look when he’d look at Lois. And she completely approved of the look. It was appropriate and even sweet. Sort of innocent! There was something in the look.
If you just looked for it…
But Lois definitely didn’t feel that way about Clark.
She remembered a few months ago, getting a call from her sister who was in tears because her partner had been shot and killed on assignment. She had been beside herself with grief. But then a miracle had happened. He had come back. “How did that happen, again?” She shook her head. She couldn’t keep up with the strange things that happened in Lois’s line of work. She read her sister’s stories; but she couldn’t wrap her mind around most of them. But those months ago, she had never heard her sister sounding so bereft. But when Clark came back she didn’t do anything. She didn’t declare her undying love for him before another day passed by without him knowing. “I know if it had been me, I’d have jumped him that night,” she thought.
And then she had witnessed Lois’s feelings first-hand, when Johnny had taken Clark. Lois was scared for him. Incredibly worried. But again, he returned… and nothing. No feelings were declared.
It had to be that she didn’t feel anything for him. You don’t go through situations like those and not declare undying love afterward. He was clearly very special to her. Her best friend. But that was it. It had to be.
She looked at them again.
Lois smiled at something Clark said. She had obviously forgiven him for running off this morning. She smiled at Clark and touched his arm, walking away, talking to him still.
No. Lois clearly didn’t have feelings for Clark…
And yet…
Something in the way she looked at *him*…
Struck with inspiration, Lucy grabbed her pen and pad and walked out of the conference room and straight into Perry White’s office. She shut the door and sat down, completely uninvited.
“You are just like your sister,” Perry said, after he got over the shock that she had just walked into his office so freely and shut his door, not asking if he had a minute. It *was* quite like Lois.
Lucy smiled. She was just so comfortable with Perry. When she had lived with Lois nearly two years ago, she’d spent a lot of time at the Planet. And Perry had always sort of treated her like the spoiled baby in a big family. Lois was the daughter he was hard on at times but loved dearly and had the utmost respect for. Jimmy was the son with a lot of potential but who needed a lot of guidance and occasionally had to be set straight or pulled back to reality. And she was the one who he didn’t have to give any responsibility to, but could just laugh with and give attention to. It was great. For her, anyway.
“What’s the story with those two?” Lucy asked, peering out of Perry’s window at Lois and Clark again.
“Oh you’d have to make an appointment for that,” Perry said.
Lucy looked at him, shocked. “Are they more than friends? I had no idea.”
“No. They’re still fighting that,” he said, shaking his head.
“Fighting it. Huh,” she said, mostly to herself. She looked back out into the newsroom at the two people in question. “I think I can guess at Clark’s feelings.” She turned back and looked at Perry. “Tell me. What do you think Lois feels? And where does Superman still fit into her agenda?”
She readied her pen and paper as Perry began telling a complicated tale. As best he could, anyway.
* * *
“Seriously. It’s getting old,” Lois said, looking over her shoulder at Clark, whose face was very close to hers just then. Dangerously close. She looked ahead of her at her computer again.
“Okay, I’ll stop editing your copy and we’ll just let them print the mistakes. But do you think you could take my name off the byline?”
“Gladly,” she shot back.
He walked to the front of her desk and smiled that smile at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. Even though she tried not to.
“I think our actual copy editors might catch it, Clark. It *is* their job.”
“But what if one of them slipped by their notice? Our job is to fix all the mistakes we notice. They see a lot of copy throughout the day and –“
“—Okay, you made your point. Your name is off the byline,” she said, smiling, enjoying this.
He looked offended. Hurt. Pained. About to just keel over from it all! And they both laughed.
“You wouldn’t take my name off the byline if they paid you extra. Face it. You like being partners with me. You like Lane and Kent.”
“So long as it’s never Kent and Lane, I like it just fine,” she said.
He laughed and walked back to his own desk.
She watched him for just a moment longer. Lately she would do that; watch him just a moment longer than she normally did. She had no idea why she did it. But she’d watch him write something, or the way he talked to someone on the phone, and she felt something inside, like everything was just right. So long as he was there. She supposed it had to do with the few experiences she’d recently had where she’d been forced to consider a life without him right there. On one occasion, she’d been forced to face the prospect of a life without him forever and it had made her completely sick. She had even thought that she had feelings for him. But… she had probably just been completely devastated and then overwhelmed with relief. She hadn’t had a clear head. That was it. It was obvious! She knew, though, that he was special to her. He had become so dear to her and she knew that she need not deny *that* any longer.
She watched as Clark made a phone call and eventually she looked away, locking away the thoughts that should never be thought. Not about Clark. The romantic thoughts. The friend-thoughts were okay, though.
She opened her top drawer and pulled out a notepad. She’d been making a list before, and looking at it now could see its ridiculousness.
“Ways to Get Superman to kiss me on Christmas,” it was titled.
Oh god, she thought. This was horrible. But even more horrible were the items listed.
“1. jump off a building. 2. scream from the top of the Planet Building – probably better than number 1 because if he’s busy during number 1, I’ll be awfully sorry and feel *really* stupid. And I’ll be dead. 3. find Miranda’s love potion and spray him!”
Oh! She threw her forehead down on her desk, on top of the notepad. This was awful! She’d clearly written the list under the influence of complete desperation during one of her emotionally charged chocolate binges.
She couldn’t do any of those things! They were all very low. And totally beneath her. Except… she really wanted it. She really *really* wanted it. A perfect kiss on Christmas. Just once! Last year, she hadn’t known Superman very well, so it couldn’t have happened last year. But this year! They were friends. If she could just find a way to kiss him, maybe he’d realize they could be so much more if he’d give it a chance!
She had to obviously find more ways to make it happen. More subtle ways! She grabbed a pen.
“4. trip and fall and land on his lips,” she added to the list, with a smile. She could at least practice tripping and falling and that one wouldn’t seem too pathetic! “5. Get him under some mistletoe,” she wrote. She then got a distant look in her eye.
That was it! Mistletoe! That was how you got your perfect Christmas kiss!
* * *
This was perfect! It would just take some work! She had two days to get her plan in action. But she needed help. She needed Clark’s help! And the help of most of the Planet employees.
Walking out of Perry White’s office, Lucy Lane walked happily back into the conference room and sat down.
A list. She needed a list! It would be a short list. She could actually solve her Lois Problem even with her Financial Problem with a list that only had *two* items!
“Number One,” she wrote out, in her best cursive. She smiled. “Plan a Fake… but Real… surprise Christmas Party for Lois for Friday night. Oh. Tomorrow night, I mean.”
She laughed to herself.
“Number Two. Fall in love (for Fake!) with Clark Kent.”
She made her list and checked it twice. She turned and looked out at her two victims. She planned to be naughty; and she refused to play nice.
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