Lucy Lane walked happily back into the conference room and sat down.
A list. She needed a list! It would be a short list. She could actually solve her Lois Problem even with her Financial Problem with a list that only had *two* items!
“Number One,” she wrote out, in her best cursive. She smiled. “Plan a Fake… but Real… surprise Christmas Party for Lois for Friday night. Oh. Tomorrow night, I mean.”
She laughed to herself.
“Number Two. Fall in love (for Fake!) with Clark Kent.”
She made her list and checked it twice. She turned and looked out at her two victims. She planned to be naughty; and she refused to play nice.
LUCY LANE IS COMING TO TOWN
PART TWO
* * *
“Clark, can I talk to you for a second?” Lucy asked, walking up to Clark’s desk a little while later.
He looked up. “Yeah, sure. What is it?”
She turned and looked at her sister, who was engrossed in writing something on a notepad at her desk.
She lowered her voice and leaned in. “I’m planning a surprise Christmas party for Lois. Here. Tomorrow night. Perry said it was okay.”
“A surprise Christmas party? I’ve never heard of that before. Surprise birthdays, surprise anniversary parties, those I’ve—“
“—Oh, it’s a California thing. We’re like our own little country there. Our own traditions and all. Anyway, I wanted to do something really special for Lois this year,” she said, her eyes conveying her genuine feelings on that one matter.
“Well, okay. I won’t tell her a thing,” he said, smiling.
“Great. I may also need your help here and there,” she said, faking shyness.
“Anything you need, just ask. You know, this’ll be fun. I’m glad you thought of it.”
Lucy smiled. “Me too.”
* * *
“Perry, I need Lois and Clark gone. Now,” Lucy said, walking up to Perry’s desk.
“Lucy, this is a newspaper, in case you haven’t noticed. I don’t just ask my two star reporters to go off on picnics because one of their kid sisters tells me to. This is not a playground.”
“But you made that whole stink about some space rat story getting stale before it even got hot, because Superman arrested those people and how that was the *only* story worth anything and how now you’ve got nothing and – “
“I remember, Lucy,” Perry said.
“ - *and*… well I was just thinking. Wouldn’t it just be better for everyone if Lois and Clark got a move on already and got together?”
“I know I’d get more work done,” he said. “Those two. Trying to figure out their moods and their feelings. Everything they say and go through. What they say versus what they mean. It’s tiring.”
“I know! It must be!” she said, emphatically. “And I can sympathize. I’m exhausted and I’ve only had to witness a tiny amount for *one* day!”
“What exactly are you up to?”
“I have a plan. But I’m going to need your help,” she said.
* * *
“Lois, Clark, down to City Hall.”
Lois and Clark looked at each other, confused.
“Sure, Chief. What’s going on?” Clark asked.
“Uh…” he trailed off and looked at Lucy. They hadn’t worked out that detail.
Lucy shot him an expectant look back.
“Superman! He’s… there. Go see if you can get an interview,” he said, his head down. It was the lamest assignment he had ever handed out since he became the Editor in Chief of the Daily Planet. And it wasn’t even real! What was he coming to!? A sentimental softy. A hopeless romantic? Oh boy.
Clark’s eyebrows went up in surprise, while Lois just beamed.
“On it, Chief!” she said, running toward the elevators.
In her haste to get to Superman, she had sort of forgot to wait for her partner. But he was quick. He was right behind her anyway.
“Oh god,” Lucy said in disgust, once they’d left. “She needs to get over that guy. And soon.”
* * *
“Okay, everyone!” Perry said, once they were alone with the newsroom sans Lois and Clark. “We never got around to planning a Christmas party this year, but Lois’s sister, Lucy, has graciously offered to help out planning one for tomorrow night. Here’s what you all need to understand. Lois is not to know about the party. And…” he trailed off and looked at Lucy. He couldn’t say the rest. It was too ridiculous. And it was not the way to operate a newsroom.
Lucy stepped up and sighed impatiently.
“Okay, raise your hand if you’re about ready to knock Lois and Clark’s heads together because you think they are beyond dense at this point, that they clearly like each other but are just too stubborn or scared or *whatever* to do anything about it themselves?”
Every hand went up.
Lucy smiled.
“Okay. Well. I agree. So here’s the deal. Clark knows about the party. Lois does not. What Clark does not know is that this is all a big matchmaking ruse. That he can’t know. I’ll take any volunteers who want to help me create ‘situations’ for them, as that will be a large part of the success of this plan. And any volunteers who want to help sell Lois on the idea that Clark is falling for her little sister are welcome to it.”
Smiles spread all around and hoards of people rushed up to Lucy, suggestions and votes of confidence in her plan rolling off their tongues. Most people seemed incredibly relieved that the torture they had to endure everyday would soon end. Or… begin. Depending on how you looked at it.
* * *
“Perry… Superman hasn’t been at City Hall all day. Heck, he hasn’t even been there all week!” Lois said, walking into Perry’s office, her eyes flashing.
“Oh. Must have been a faulty source,” he said, not looking up. “Anyway. Don’t you have another story due in, oh,” he paused, looking at his watch for dramatic effect, “three hours?”
With a grunt she walked back out into the newsroom.
* * *
“Oh my god.”
“What?” Lois asked, looking up from her story to see what Lucy was talking about.
“Clark.”
“What about him?” she asked, looking at her partner. He was standing up looking for something at his desk, while talking to someone on the phone.
“Yum,” Lucy purred.
“Did you just say ‘yum’?”
Lois looked at her sister, who hadn’t taken her… *hungry*… eyes off of Clark.
“Um, Lois, I don’t know if you’ve happened to really look at your partner lately. I mean I know you see him all day, everyday and everything, but obviously you need a pair of fresh eyes to really notice the *yum*.”
Lois’s eyebrows shot sky high.
Lois looked at Clark. I mean yes, it was obvious that he really was… no! She would not think of him like that! He was very attractive, yes. But she could not sit there and listen to someone say things like that about him. It was inappropriate and rude! And…
*Something* else…
But what!?
“Lucy, I really don’t think you…”
But she trailed off when she noticed Lucy, completely ignoring her, strut herself across the floor to Clark’s desk. She leaned in and said something to him and he smiled that smile. Lois felt something tighten inside at that smile. It really was a nice, good, perfect smile. It couldn’t be denied that Clark Kent had an amazing smile. She watched closely, as Lucy laughed and launched herself into Clark’s arms. He looked a little surprised by her outpour of affection, but hugged her back with a smile and winked at her when he pulled away.
Winked?
Wait…
Clark didn’t wink.
Well… at least she didn’t think he did.
Did he?
What was going on? Had the whole newsroom gone mad? First Perry was sending them out on wild goose chases and then Lucy was saying Clark was yum… and then she was throwing herself at him and he was *winking* at her!
There was something strange in the air. And it wasn’t the spray from those stupid space rats! Dang it too, because *that* might have been a good story!
* * *
Clark liked Lucy. She was sort of like the little sister he never had but would have enjoyed having around. She was full of energy. She was *very* different from her sister. Lois, now she was… not like a sister to him. At all. Which was probably a bad thing, since he was apparently like a brother to her.
Lucy was fun to be around. Happy-go-lucky and very carefree. It was cute, this plan for a surprise Christmas party for Lois. Lucy was so happy about it. He couldn’t help but join in and feel happy about it himself. Besides, a few more hours with Lois tomorrow before they parted for Christmas was fine by him. Any day.
Lucy had come over to ask him if he’d help her pick out some decorations later. Of course he’d agreed. She seemed so into the party; he really couldn’t turn her down. Plus, he didn’t exactly have any pressing plans later. That game on television would be summarized in tomorrow’s paper. So…
“Ready?”
He looked up to see Lucy standing by his desk, Lois not far behind.
“Ready?” Lois asked. “For what?”
Lucy whirled around and looked at her sister, seeming overly surprised to see her there. “Oh. Clark and I are going out.”
Lois’s eyebrows shot up into the air. “Going out? Where?”
Lois looked at Clark, not Lucy, for this answer.
He knew Lucy wanted the party to be a surprise, but he couldn’t think of any rational reason he might me going somewhere with Lucy Lane, so he just blushed. “Just out for a bit,” he muttered finally.
Lucy turned to Lois again for a moment. He couldn’t see what kind of face she made at her, but whatever it was, it caused Lois to look back at him, her mouth falling open, before looking at Lucy again. “Okay. Well, good. Fine,” she said quickly. And then she walked away.
She looked… mad? Possibly mad. She was probably mad because it looked like he was stealing her kid sister. Here she was visiting and instead of doing whatever with Lois, she was going to do it with him, like she preferred spending time with him over her. Lois was probably hurt. She was so excited to have Lucy in town. She was positively glowing this morning, telling him that. Before he had to run out on her of course…
He sighed. Oh, he *hated* lying to Lois! He did it daily as it was out of necessity. And now he was doing it as a favor to her kid sister, for her own sake! But she didn’t know that.
Lois was probably angry and hurt because *she* wanted to hang out with Lucy. Oh, well, he would just have to speed up their decoration-buying, so Lois could have her sister back.
He looked at Lucy who looked beyond happy.
Yes, he liked Lucy Lane, Kid Sister, who really seemed not to have a care in the world. He admired that shining quality about her at that moment, wishing that he could adopt it and not worry so much over Lois’s feelings all the time.
* * *
“Hey, Lucy, before you go, I wanted to show you something. Do you have a minute?” Jimmy asked.
Lucy smiled, remembering his suggestion for the plan. “That’s right. Clark, I’ll be right back!”
He nodded and walked toward Lois’s desk.
She ran to the conference room with Jimmy.
“Okay, let me see this picture you’re talking about,” Lucy said, excitedly.
“This is so awesome. I can’t believe our luck,” Jimmy said. “I mean, I came across this the other day in the photo archive, and thought it was useless, but this is just perfect. Okay, here it is.”
He opened a manila folder and showed her the picture.
Her breath caught at first. It was a black and white photo. Perfect quality. Lois and Clark.
She was sitting casually at the edge of his desk, clearly in mid-tirade. She was looking at him, her mouth forming some word. Her eyes. Lucy focused on her eyes. They were so happy. Almost laughing. Animated. All throughout their childhood, Lucy had never seen that side of her sister. The side she saw so much more now. When Lois was with Clark…
She studied the picture closer.
She was so comfortable. Like… like she was home.
She looked at Clark. He was the reason her breath had caught when she’d seen it.
He was looking up at her. And…
You could see it. You could see it so clearly.
He was hopelessly in love with Lois Lane. Endlessly. Unconditionally. And… it was beautiful. It brought tears to her eyes.
“Who took this?” she asked Jimmy, not breaking her trance on the photo.
“I did. Franklin Stern, our owner, requested some pictures of daily operations about two months ago, and I just walked around, taking pictures. Everyone was so used to it they just ignored me. I saw this in the archive just the other day. I’d forgotten we even had it. But when you mentioned the plan, it came back to me and I just figured we could use it.”
She smiled and finally looked up at him.
“Okay, what should I do?” she asked.
“Sit at the edge of the conference table,” he instructed. He moved and pulled out his camera. After minutes of looking from the photo to Lucy, and repositioning himself and her, he took a bunch of pictures. “Okay,” he finally said. “Tomorrow, you’ve got yourself a pretty picture.”
* * *
“Bye sis, don’t wait up,” Lucy whispered to Lois minutes later. She then walked over to Clark and linked her arm in his as they walked happily out of the newsroom.
Lois sat back in her chair, staring in the direction in which they’d just disappeared.
What was going on?
Everything seemed so… off. She felt like she’s entered a parallel universe. It definitely felt off. But why?
Clark had walked over, when Lucy disappeared with Jimmy, to ensure her that he wasn’t “stealing her sister”. Whatever that meant. But when she threw a series of questions at him that she thought were straightforward enough, like “where are you going?” “Why is she going out with you?” “What will you two do?”, he’d had no answers.
“So what do you think?”
Lois looked up to see Perry standing there, looking wistfully in the direction that Lucy and Clark had just disappeared in.
“About what?” she asked, startled herself at the edge in her voice.
“Those two,” Perry said, like he hadn’t noticed her tone. “Clark and Lucy. Who’d have thought?”
“What do you mean?” Lois asked. Although she wasn’t an idiot. She knew what he meant.
“Oh, I just never considered that they might be a good couple. But… I don’t know. I think there might be something there. A chemistry. A connection.”
“A connection? Perry, they’ve spent all of five minutes together since she’s gotten here.”
“Well, Lois, haven’t you ever heard of instant attraction? Animal magnetism? Besides… they’re going to be together now, it seems, for more than five minutes. That should give them enough time to see what it all means.”
“What *what* all means?” she asked. Again, like she had no idea. Like she was a complete idiot.
“What I saw. You know. The connection.”
With a smile that made it seem like he had just fallen in love himself, he walked away.
WHAT WAS GOING ON?
Lois laid her head in her hands. Surely she was just going nuts.
* * *
“Where have you been?!” Lois demanded when Lucy walked through the door two hours later.
Lucy sighed, looking around dreamily. “Out,” she said, in a giddy, flighty voice.
“Well, where did… what’s wrong with your face? Are… “ Lois trailed off, her eyebrows shooting up. “You’re *glowing*.”
Lucy smiled. It had worked. The woman at the makeup store said the cream would give her a radiant glow. So she’d put on extra.
“Probably,” she said, acting perfectly innocent, as if she had no idea her skin was so radiantly glow-y. “We had a really, *really* good time.”
Lucy tried to contain her excitement as Lois used the chair she was next to for support. It seemed like Lois was a little weak in the knees, unsteady on her feet and - if her expression was any indication - absolutely horrified by all the possibilities most likely flitting through her mind at the moment.
“He’s… he’s…. oh…Clark… what is he?” Lucy asked, looking thoughtful.
“Well I’d say he gets under your skin. One second he’s this reliable constant in your life and you know exactly what to expect of him; he’s unwavering as a friend. The next second he’ll run off on you with some cockeyed excuse that makes *no* sense, or he’ll run off with… with… he’ll do something so unlike him and so… *so*… stupid! You spend half your time wanting to see him and wanting to hug him,” she said, looking emotional, “and the other half of the time wanting to throw him through the conference room wall!”
Lucy smiled. This was working better than she ever could have imagined. “No. That’s not it,” she said. Lois looked up at her, seething eyes burning into her own. “But there’s something about him. Something great. I just *know* it.”
“If you haven’t figured out what’s great about Clark yet, then you don’t know him at all,” Lois said quickly, before looking like she was mortified to have been caught saying that out loud.
“Who cares about knowing him! Lois… have you *seen* him? Have you ever laid eyes on that man?”
“Well since we’re partners, I believe it’s happened once or twice or every single day for the past year and a half,” Lois said, her voice dripping in anger and sarcasm.
“You see him every day, sure. But have you ever… okay, checked him out, I guess. That’s the best way to put it.”
“No, I haven’t checked him out!” Lois said, blushing profusely. And Lucy knew… Lois was lying through her teeth. And what was worse, Lois *knew* she was lying and it was making her angry. For the first time, she was being forced to think about her clear attraction to her partner and she could deny it out loud all she wanted, but her thoughts clearly were not betraying her. “He’s my friend!” she added after a moment. “And why are you acting like you’ve never seen him before? You’ve met him twice before!”
“Yeah, but the first time, I was preoccupied getting ready to move to California. And last time I was sort of dealing with a psychotic homicidal boyfriend who used me for my tip money, if you recall correctly, since you so eloquently pointed that out to me,” Lucy shot back hotly.
“So you come back this time and it’s suddenly all you can do to keep from drooling all over the newsroom floor?”
Lucy smiled. “I know. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before. Notice the – “
“ – ‘yum’, I know. You said.”
Lucy smiled and concentrated really hard on not looking directly at her sister. She feared if they made eye contact at that moment, her whole façade would be figured out. It wasn’t a hard façade. Being attracted to Clark Kent was perfectly easy. The man was gorgeous. So this was not exactly acting. But because she felt that Lois cared far more for Clark than she’d ever admit, Lucy would never act on an attraction to him. That part of the charade was getting harder to pull off. She just had to play it smart. And at the moment, smart was not looking at Lois directly.
She took a long, breath, and cocked her head sideways, imagining a big, giant cheesecake floating somewhere just in front of her face. She licked her lips invitingly. “I am going to make him mine. He’s just so hot. He has the best body. Those muscles. That chest! Oh! He’s so tall and lean. And that butt!”
“Lucy!”
Lucy looked up at Lois and pretended to be embarrassed at having said so much. She smiled her sweetest, shyest smile and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry. I’ll be quiet.”
“How can you say those things? Clark’s a person, you know. And if you really looked at him or really talked to him, you’d see he’s a good person. The best person. Someone who should be pursued because of that. Not just because he looks good! He’s the best there is and you’re treating him like nothing more than a sex symbol!”
Check!
Lucy crossed her arms and put on her most offended face. One she’d perfected back in high school when Lois was on her case about *everything*. “You’re such a hypocrite.”
“Am I?” Lois said, clearly thinking she was not one at all. Little did she know how much thought Lucy had put into all of this. Into this carefully orchestrated conversation.
“You treat Superman the exact same way,” Lucy finally said.
Lois’s face fell and she looked away.
And check mate.
Lois clearly had nothing to say to that. Well, at first anyway. Lucy knew only too well that Lois was never speechless for very long.
“Superman is my friend,” Lois finally said. “I don’t… I don’t look at him like…”
Lucy smiled in self-satisfaction. Lois couldn’t even put her defense into a full sentence. The fact of the matter was, Lois made her attraction to Superman clear from the moment she laid eyes on him. She didn’t know him well at all when she decided that he would someday be hers.
Lucy wanted to cry out in glee. This game was getting fun!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
