“How can you say those things? Clark’s a person, you know. And if you really looked at him or really talked to him, you’d see he’s a good person. The best person. Someone who should be pursued because of that. Not just because he looks good! He’s the best there is and you’re treating him like nothing more than a sex symbol!”
Check!
Lucy crossed her arms and put on her most offended face. One she’d perfected back in high school when Lois was on her case about *everything*. “You’re such a hypocrite.”
“Am I?” Lois said, clearly thinking she was not one at all. Little did she know how much thought Lucy had put into all of this. Into this carefully orchestrated conversation.
“You treat Superman the exact same way,” Lucy finally said.
Lois’s face fell and she looked away.
And check mate.
Lois clearly had nothing to say to that. Well, at first anyway. Lucy knew only too well that Lois was never speechless for very long.
“Superman is my friend,” Lois finally said. “I don’t… I don’t look at him like…”
Lucy smiled in self-satisfaction. Lois couldn’t even put her defense into a full sentence. The fact of the matter was, Lois made her attraction to Superman clear from the moment she laid eyes on him. She didn’t know him well at all when she decided that he would someday be hers.
Lucy wanted to cry out in glee. This game was getting fun!
* * *
LUCY LANE IS COMING TO TOWN
PART THREE
Lois typed at her computer quickly and angrily. Lucy was off to who-knows-where doing god-knows-what… At that thought, Lois lifted her eyes and sought out her partner. She found him talking to Jimmy by the fax machine and found a little sigh of relief escaping her.
And that just made her mad.
Why should she be relieved that Lucy and Clark weren’t in the copy room doing… *something*?
She didn’t care what Lucy did or what Clark did in their spare time. Although this was not Clark’s spare time. But even so. She tapped her pen on her desk nervously. She was probably just relieved because Clark was a good friend, and Lois could tell that Lucy only wanted him for one thing. His physical attributes. And that… that wasn’t right. She had to protect him. He’d protect her, after all, if someone wanted her for the wrong reasons. Heck, he’d tried to do that in the past.
But… she hadn’t believed him. She’d accused him of jealousy…
Jealousy.
Well, *she* wasn’t jealous. Uh-uh. No way.
“Hey, Lois,” Jimmy said, walking over.
“Hi, Jimmy,” she said. She looked around. “Where did Clark go?”
“No idea,” Jimmy said shrugging. “We were talking, and then he said he had to do something. But anyway, I wanted to show you this. It’s going to absolutely make your day! It’s great!”
He placed a manila envelope on her desk and she got excited. A story! Something she had him research panned out and a great story lay within her grasp. She knew it! She opened the folder and…
Her mouth fell open.
It was a picture of Clark and Lucy talking at his desk.
“When… when was this taken?” she asked.
“I took it yesterday,” he said, beaming. “I thought they looked good together and wanted to take a picture of it. Look at them! Have you ever seen anything so great?”
Lois looked. She couldn’t turn away, actually.
Lucy was smiling down at Clark, looking… *really* happy. But it was Clark who drew her attention. He was looking up at Lucy like she was… her breath caught… like she was so special to him. Precious. More than that, even…
How could that be? He barely knew her!
But there it was. Evidence. He was looking up at Lucy… and…
…Lois couldn’t help but wish that someday someone would look at *her* that way.
* * *
* * *
“Superman! What are you doing here?” Lois asked, walking with a coffee back toward the Daily Planet building.
“Hi Lois. Clark said you wanted to see me?”
“Oh! Right! That… that was yesterday.”
She blushed, remembering. She had just finished making her list, just come up with her brilliant plan to spring Mistletoe on him, and had told her partner to get in touch with him for her, since he always seemed to know how to find Superman. That was before said partner had gone out gallivanting with her little sister, however.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t come by yesterday. I got a little detained…”
“No, it’s fine… I just hadn’t… it was before…”
“Before what?” he asked.
“Lucy.”
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Lucy. Your sister?”
“Yeah. She storms into my life and every single time creates a mess! She takes my life and throws its pieces all over the living room floor! The bathroom floor. The bedroom floor. And now the newsroom floor. I can’t *stand* it!”
“Well, I’m sure she has a good reason. This time anyway,” he said.
Superman. Always seeing the best in everyone.
“Oh she does,” Lois said, feeling downright annoyed. At Lucy. Not Superman.
“Maybe she wants to get you something nice for Christmas this year,” he offered.
“Well she’s doing a fine job! I think I’d prefer for her to get me coal… again.”
“Your sister got you coal for Christmas one year?”
“She has a strange sense of humor,” Lois answered flatly. “And she alone is going to make my Christmas horrible this year,” she added to herself.
But *why*? Why did any of what Lucy was doing upset her! Clark could take care of himself! Lucy could take care of herself! And she had thought the whole newsroom was crazy until… well, until she had seen that photo. She could actually believe it. What Perry said. They looked like they did have some kind of a connection. That shouldn’t bother her! She wanted her best friend to be happy. She wanted her sister to be happy. If they found happiness together, shouldn’t *she* be happy? Ecstatic even?!
“Well, whatever it was you needed me for, before Lucy came and did whatever it is she’s doing…” he said, trailing off.
“I wanted you to kiss me!” her mind screamed. “I had a list!” her mind added. “There was supposed to be Mistletoe! It was going to be a perfect Christmas kiss under the mistletoe!” her mind added, again.
She dropped her head. She had voices in her head! She had actually gone nuts! And with Superman bearing witness…
Oh god.
“Lois?”
She wasn’t feeling it. She couldn’t do it. Not now anyway. She couldn’t kiss him in such circumstances. Besides… last night when she had left work, buying mistletoe – the one thing she was supposed to have done – had been the furthest thing from her mind.
“It was nothing, Superman. But thanks for coming to see me,” she said.
* * *
She didn’t look right. Ever since midway through yesterday, something had been up with Lois. Clark knew it. He’d sensed it then. But her incoherent conversation with his alter ego just now confirmed it all. Something was bothering her. And now that was bothering him. He hated seeing Lois upset. And something in her eyes just now…
She was definitely, at the very least, upset.
She kept talking about Lucy. He still felt bad about making Lois think that Lucy preferred spending her time in Metropolis with someone other than her sister, who was so happy to see her. But as far as he could tell, Lucy wasn’t doing anything else that would bother Lois. She was mostly bounding around the newsroom with enough energy to write an issue on her own, barely remembering to occasionally return back to earth and catch her breath.
Lois. There she was. She was just getting back, easing into her chair, sipping her coffee slowly.
He walked down the ramp, stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way over to her. She was his best friend. She would surely tell him what was going on.
“Nothing. Clark, leave me alone, please,” she said, when he asked. “I have a lot of work to do.”
“But Lois, I can tell something is wrong. Can’t you talk to me about it? You talk to me about everything,” he started.
“I don’t talk to you about everything! Don’t assume you know me so well, Kent, because sometimes you have no clue!”
He was taken aback by her outburst. And… she was calling him “Kent.”
Something was definitely going on. And he was starting to think she was mad at him too! What did he do? Oh…
“Lois, is this about me running off yesterday when we were talking? I really am s—“
“Why would yesterday bother me, Clark? You run off all the time. As a matter of fact, it bothers me when you don’t run off.” She looked up at him, her eyes finally meeting his. “Well?”
He waited. What…
“Go, Clark.”
She wanted him to run off? She was pushing him away big time. Much more than she ever did, even back when they barely knew each other. She was sending out clear signals and… and it hurt.
He buried it though and turned. He had to find Lucy and put a stop to at least one of the things that was bothering Lois.
* * *
He was talking to Lucy again! When she told him to run off, she probably should have considered he might run straight into the arms of his new love interest, Lois Lane’s Kid Sister! Ugh!
“Those two really are – “ Ralph started.
“You finish that sentence, you finish this job. And don’t think I can’t get you fired,” she said, her voice low, and -- even she acknowledged -- kind of evil-sounding.
He placed his two hands up defensively and walked away.
She looked at Clark and Lucy again. They were in the conference room. Talking. It looked serious. Perhaps they were discussing whatever it was that took them two hours to do yesterday. Whatever they’d been doing which had left her sister… glowing, she shuddered to remember.
Suddenly the conference room became blurry. Her nose felt funny. Her throat felt tight and constricted.
What was going on!?
* * *
“We can’t give up now, Clark!”
“But Lucy… she’s really upset. I hate doing this. She’s reading it all wrong.”
“The point, nimrod,” was what Lucy thought devilishly to herself. But out loud, “it’s only until tonight. She’s already upset. What’s a few more hours at this point? Honestly.”
He sighed and put a hand through his hair. It really was sweet how upset he got when he could sense Lois’s pain. This really was the guy for her sister. His care and compassion for Lois went so deep. It was all so obvious.
So why couldn’t Lois see it?
“Okay, Lucy. But only because it’s just for a few more hours.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Lucy smiled and hugged him, hoping that Lois was watching.
* * *
Lois was watching. She watched as Lucy wrapped her arms around her partner and as her fingers rested in a sweet, almost intimate way, on his neck and jaw line. She watched as Clark held Lucy up, in that quietly strong way of his. Solid in his arms. She watched the exchange until she forced herself to look away.
But looking away from the picture before her in the conference room, she was greeted by another picture that lay on her desk.
“Jimmy!” she called out, wiping a tear quickly from her cheek.
“What’s up, Lois?”
“This. Take it. Throw it away. Hang it in your apartment. Do whatever you want with it but just get it out of my sight,” she said, handing him back the photo. The proof. The evidence.
The unbearable torture.
No! No. It was bearable! Sure, it was. But she had more important things to do than look at a lovey-dovey photograph while at work.
She should write a story.
“Sure thing, Lois,” Jimmy said, taking the picture back. “I’m so psyched though. This is such a great picture. Candid pictures really are the best. Catching people off-guard. And *these* two! Look at Clark, Lois! Can you see it? See? In his eyes. Can you see it, or is it just me?”
“Jimmy!”
“Okay, okay,” he said, walking away, still looking at the picture.
The picture was finally out of her sight, but it, for some reason, was not yet out of her mind. And Jimmy’s question rolled over in her mind. Or, rather, her silent answer to the question, spoken by a voice in her head that she tried to shush and silence by pushing it back, a voice that was coming forth anyway with a stubborn – very Lois Lane – vengeance.
“I saw it,” the voice said. Clark’s eyes… “I saw it.”
* * *
She did it! She did it! SHE DID IT!
And it cost seven dollars!
Lucy smiled as she looked at the present, in the checkout line at the store.
She had done what she set out to do. She had gotten Lois the perfect present and it had only been seven dollars. But oh, whether it had been seven dollars or a million dollars, the present was priceless.
* * *
“Lucy, this is torture,” Perry said, minutes later, after the door was closed. “Look at her! She’s miserable. Can’t you go easy on her?”
“Perry do you have any idea what it was like growing up with her as a big sister? Do you think she *ever* went easy on me?”
Perry laughed. “Of course not. But I’m used to seeing Lois lead investigations, pull things over on other people, manipulate whoever to get a story and basically be in constant control. It’s not natural to watch her go through this. You’re assuming she feels this way – we all are – but we’re abusing those feelings, if they‘re there. We’re hurting her with them. Feelings are sensitive matters to begin with. But you take Lois Lane, who always has to act like she doesn’t feel things too strongly for anyone, so she won’t get hurt, and you’ve got a much more sensitive case on your hands. She cares about Clark and she’s shown that so much over the past year and a half. And now, we’re making her think she’s losing him. Lucy, he’s her best friend. Just… go easier on her!”
“No, Perry,” Lucy said, indignantly, putting her hands on her hips.
His eyebrows shot up. “I used to think you were the nice sister,” he said with a chuckle. “But you’re just as bad as Lois. If not worse.”
She smiled. “Thank you,” she said, clearly taking that as a compliment. “Look, Perry, I love her so much. You’ve got to know that.”
“I know it, Lucy. We all love her, so – “
“I am not done!”
Perry sat back in his chair, looking amused. He gestured for her to continue.
“Okay, you’re right about everything you said. Lois is sensitive and feels things strongly but tries to always be in control and not act on her feelings or give away too much. You are right that she’s different than other people. She is. She’s special. When we were growing up, she never took the time to open up about *her* feelings. She was too busy helping to raise me and keep me out of trouble and to clean up my messes and try her best to mediate between my mom and dad. When she wasn’t doing that, she was working so hard at being the best; it was the only way she knew how to do things, the only way for *her* to get attention. I found that the only way I could *ever* get through to her was to show her something. Lois is so set in her own ways, she doesn’t listen to anyone. Clark is probably the only person in the world that she listens to, but then when it comes to him, she doesn’t listen in the one way that matters most. She doesn’t listen to her heart. You have to show her, Perry! She needs to be shown! And not in a tiny, subtle way. She needs to be hit over the head with the facts, with the truth, with those feelings she has buried deep inside for her own asinine reasons. She needs to be shown in a dramatic way. She needs to have a full two-act play performed before her very eyes.”
“Are you done now?” Perry asked, when Lucy ran out of steam.
“Yes.”
“Okay. You want to do a two-act play as a Christmas present to your sister – and to us all for that matter, since those two are like a roller coaster most of the time – be my guest. All I’m asking for is a little intermission.”
Lucy smiled.
“Oh, that’s coming up.”
“What is? What do you have planned?”
“You’ll see!”
* * *
“Countdown to the party… five hours,” Lucy said with a smile, sitting at the conference table, spotting some donuts from a morning meeting. Jimmy closed the door.
“Okay, Jimmy, it’s time to test the sound system for this shindig,” Lucy said, popping a donut hole into her mouth and smiling, as Jimmy approached.
“Sound system? It’s really more like a stereo. And a really small one, at that.”
“Whatever. Do you have the songs I wanted?”
“A holiday mix, as requested, milady.”
“Yay!” she squealed.
Jimmy smiled as Lucy jumped up and grabbed the list of songs he was holding. Lucy’s enthusiasm was infectious. You couldn’t be around her, he mused, and not feel it too, not get excited. Besides which, it *was* all very exciting. If the plan worked, Lois and Clark might finally stop hiding their true feelings and be together already!
He looked out into the newsroom, spotting the two of them. He noted Lois’s forlorn expression and just hoped she’d be able to make it to the party.
“Okay, Jimmy, did you send out that email to everyone?”
He nodded, fiddling with the stereo, trying to get it ready.
“*Everyone*?” she repeated.
He looked up, noticing the look on her face.
“No. Not those two. Don’t worry. I’m not a total amateur.”
She smiled in relief. “Great. Okay. Well, when will everyone begin to filter out?”
Jimmy shrugged. “They’ll do it slowly so it’s not obvious. Just let me know when they’re out and we’ll get this going.”
“You know,” Lucy said, sitting back. “This place is so great. I mean, what other workplace would go to such lengths to get two people that belong together, well, together?”
“Well Lois and Clark are special,” Jimmy said. “Plus news is slow.” He pulled on a wire and plugged a chord in. “Plus it’s days before Christmas and any non-work distraction is absolutely welcomed around here with open arms.” He placed the stereo on the conference room table and put the speakers facing out into the newsroom. “Plus, I think the part of the plan where we all torture Lois is appealing to some of the people here,” he laughed.
“Well not me,” Lucy said. “I feel like such a bad sister.”
Jimmy stopped and turned to her. “Are you kidding? I’ve never seen anyone do anything like this for their sister. Lois is really lucky to have you!”
She looked at him, uncertainty and hope evident in her eyes. “You think so?”
“I know so. And so does she. And don’t worry; if that isn’t the foremost thought in her mind right now, it will be later.”
“I hope so.”
Lucy smiled, and feeling confident he’d convinced her that she was a great sister and not a bad one, Jimmy went back to his work at hand.
* * *
The plan was working. Lucy was marveling in her success. Her sister looked about ready to kill everyone in the newsroom. Lucy was just so pleased. In her wildest dreams, she could not have achieved such follow through with a goal. It just felt so perfect and so right! Everything was falling into place. She even felt a sort of unspoken understanding with the Planet staff. They seemed to know just what to do.
After excitedly passing around heart-shaped candy canes, Lucy plopped herself down on Lois’s desk. She grabbed the candy cane she had especially picked out for Lois.
“Here, sis!” she said, holding it out to Lois. “Oh no! It’s broken!” she cried, looking shocked and just so sad, even though it was she who had broken it. “A broken heart for your thoughts,” she said after a moment, handing the broken-hearted candy cane to Lois, who absently threw it in the trash.
“You are going to throw your broken heart in the trash!? Forget all about it? You know, that is so like you!” Lucy said.
But Lois just furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the computer monitor, typing away.
Jessica from Marketing caught Lucy’s eye, and with a look of approval from Lucy, walked over to Lois’s desk.
“Hi! It’s Lucy, right?”
“Uh, yeah…” Lucy said, sounding confused.
She really should have considered acting. She even lived in California already. It was perfect *and* convenient!
“I just wanted to tell you… you and Clark Kent… wow. I have never seen such chemistry between two people. It’s amazing. I hope it works out,” she said.
“Oh, thank you!” Lucy said, trying to contain her excitement. Lois was right there and most likely thought the excitement was due to something else altogether. “I hope so too!”
“Well, see you around. Hi, Lois,” Jessica added, before walking away.
Lois finally looked up at her. The look on her face was priceless. Then she turned the look on her sister.
“Lucy, I only have a few hours left here. And it’s really busy!”
“It is? I thought news was so slow you were about to jump off the roof just to have a story.”
“Yes, well, it’s picking up.”
Lucy tilted her head. She knew better.
“It’s just distracting having you here. Don’t you think you could – “
“Shhh, Lois! There he is.”
“There who is?” Lois asked, sounding really annoyed.
Then she saw Clark. He was talking to Ralph about something and smiling.
Lucy let out a longing sigh and just stared at him. “He really is something,” she said, longingly.
“Yeah,” Lois agreed, sounding like she was somewhere else. Staring at Clark with a look on her face…
Lucy’s breath caught and she found she had to focus really hard on suppressing the joyous feeling that completely filled her at Lois’s muttered word, which she looked like she hadn’t meant to say out loud at all.
“I just mean,” Lois began, “that only Clark could talk to Ralph and manage a smile.”
Lois busied herself with some papers on her desk, looking flustered. Intent on looking at anything but her partner.
“A killer smile,” Lucy added.
She looked down at her sister and expected her to be still pretending not to notice Clark or Lucy’s comments. But she was staring ahead. And then she finally said one thing, which nearly caused Lucy to fall off the edge of Lois’s desk.
“I’ll agree with you there. He has a wonderful smile.”
And then she broke out of her trance and continued pretending. Always pretending.
It was ironic, actually, Lucy mused. As children, Lois used to always warn Lucy against the dangers of playing pretend too much.
“But Lucy, you’re not *really* a doctor, are you?” “You shouldn’t always play make believe. The world is not really like that.”
Tone gentle. Message clear. Pretending was bad…
Lucy looked at Lois.
…Yet that was how she lived her life.
* * *
Jimmy arranged the next stage. People would go up to Lois’s desk about every seven to ten minutes to chat, and *some*, so as to not be too obvious, would mention how lovely Lucy and Clark were as a couple.
During those “desk exchanges”, as Lucy had dubbed them, Lucy, Clark and Jimmy were able to take chords of white Christmas lights and line the walls around the newsroom without Lois noticing.
Christmas was in the air! Well, it was all around, actually. Around the newsroom. Around her sister. Not that she noticed. Lucy smiled, stapling a wire in place, as she saw Lois surely fighting the urge to slap the woman currently talking her ear off.
Lois also didn’t seem to notice the number of people filtering out of the newsroom. She was distracted enough. This was all working so nicely. Like some form of divine intervention was aiding Lucy in her matchmaking conquest.
Once the lights were in place, Clark went back to his desk to finish writing something.
Lucy and Jimmy smiled at each other.
“On to the next stage,” Lucy whispered.
* * *
Lois had not written one single sentence the entire day. She looked at her monitor to see if her last effort to write a sentence had panned out. She realized it was about the same as all her previous efforts.
“Continuing a tradition that he started last year, Superman’s presence was again welcomed with open and appreciative arms from orphans all over Metropolis I cannot believe him! How could he do that? And with my own sister! Wait… what do I care? I don’t care!!!!!”
She immediately hit the backspace bar until she was back at the part of her sentence that did not reek of complete insanity.
She sighed. This had been an awful two days.
She had been so excited for Lucy to come to town, but ever since her arrival, things had spiraled out of control in her normally routine and carefully controlled existence. Things had just gotten progressively worse for her with each passing minute.
And it should not have been the case!
This whole thing with Clark... it shouldn’t bother her. They were friends! They were just friends. And Lucy knew that. So it was not as if her sister was doing something bad or impeding on her territory. But… she somehow still felt that Lucy was in the wrong here. That she should have checked with Lois before pursuing Clark in this blatant manner. Why hadn’t she asked Lois if it was alright? Of course it *was* alright. Right? But still. She should have checked. Lucy knew that her relationship with Clark was complicated. She knew it. Didn’t she? Hadn’t Lois made it clear that he wasn’t just a friend and coworker? That he was her best friend and… and that there were all these complications that made their relationship constantly more and more difficult to define? Didn’t Clark himself know that? Why hadn’t he pulled Lois aside to explain what was going on, instead of parading it around so callously in front of her?
Why were two of the most important people in her life not even considering her feelings for one moment? Couldn’t they come up for air long enough to remember her? Lois Lane? Sister. Partner. Best friend. And…
Oh. It was hopeless. She was not about to write anything today. And she wasn’t even in the mood.
She wanted Christmas to be over. She wanted her sister to go back home. And she wanted things to go back to normal.
Didn’t she?
What *was* normal?
She was thinking way too much and she now had a headache.
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