Hearts United
by Pam Jernigan
part 11
from last time:
"Nightfall?"
Kal recoiled as if he'd been struck. There was a brief flash of a mountain-sized rock floating somewhere, then pain and darkness. He blinked and the vision was gone, leaving behind an unfocused sensation of anxiety.
"Kal?"
"Um... deadly." But what the hell was it? "Why would I think that?"
Dr. Porter looked at her notes. "Well, there could be many reasons..."
He sat up, studying her. "You know what it is." He didn't know how he knew, but he was absolutely certain of it.
She looked up, meeting his eyes for a long moment. "Yes. It's an asteroid. It was on course to hit us, and might well have wiped out the human race."
The hand of panic squeezed his chest. "Was?"
"Early this morning, it shattered. However, a sizeable remnant will still hit Earth within a few days."
He lay back on the couch again, feeling stunned. For a brief moment, it was terribly hot, and he couldn't breathe. What was happening to him?
**** PART ELEVEN
Gwen eyed her patient cautiously. He'd had an abnormally strong reaction; there was definitely something going on there. "What do you remember?" she asked softly.
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"Think about it," she coaxed.
"I don't remember anything." His breathing accelerated, and his hands clenched into fists, whether in fear or frustration, she couldn't tell. Still, as strong as he was, she wouldn't want to provoke him.
"Okay, let's move on to something else." Something innocuous, she hoped. "City?"
"Busy."
After a few more bland exchanges, he seemed calm again. "I think perhaps it's time for another session of hypnosis."
He frowned, then nodded. "Yes. We need the information."
"Good. Now, watch this crystal..."
It was easier to take him under this time. "Now, Kal, I want you to picture your peaceful terrace. Are you there?"
He nodded.
"What does it look like?"
"Plants... you can see the stars so clearly..."
"Good, good. Now, we're on that terrace, and we're talking. Nothing can harm you." She took a deep breath. "What do you know about Nightfall?"
He had a definite negative reaction to that. "Big rock. Too big. Blots out the stars."
"Yes, it's a big rock, but it can't hurt you."
"It's too big," he insisted, shrinking away from her.
"Maybe it's not really real," she suggested. "It was just a dream."
That calmed him somewhat.
"If Nightfall were real, what would you do?"
He frowned again. "Fly out. Break it up. But it's too big. Too big."
"Fly out? In a ship?"
"No..." he said, though it was unclear whether he was replying to her or lost inside his memories. "Have to get back... can't breathe... Lois..."
Well, they'd run into a very distressing area, obviously, though she still didn't quite understand why.
Was it possible that this man had shattered Nightfall?
"You're safe, Kal. Who is Lois?"
His face relaxed a bit. "Shey-ana. Have to get back to her..."
"Is Lois in New Krypton?"
"No, never."
Lois must be a more recent acquaintance, then. "Is she in Metropolis?"
"On Lincoln street..." He shifted restlessly.
That was a problem. The last thing she wanted was for him to have someone and somewhere specific to look for; she needed to keep him under her control. "Okay, Kal, we're going to wake you up again. I'm going to count backwards from ten, just like before. When you wake up, though, you won't remember anything about Lois. Lois isn't real; she's only a dream. Listen to my voice, Kal... ten, nine, eight..."
****
"Get some sleep, Lois," Brenda urged. She'd found Lois in her office, with her head on her desk, and had proceeded to take charge. Francine had driven them both to her apartment, with Lois protesting all the way.
Francine opened her apartment door and reached inside to turn on the light. "You'll feel much better after a nap."
"How can I relax?" Her head was pounding, and her stomach was in knots.
"You'll figure something out," Francine replied unsympathetically. "And no pacing. You've nearly worn out the floor at the office."
"'Cause if you're gonna pace," Brenda said, "we're gonna have to stay, and honey, I don't know about you, but I'm tired."
Lois smiled wanly. "Thanks for helping me out today, girls."
Brenda snorted. "For all the good it did. But we had to try. I know nothing's shown up yet, but we've spread the word. He's here, hon. We'll find him."
"And you're not going to kill yourself, looking for him," Francine said, pointing her index finger sternly. "So go get a nap."
"Yes, Mother."
Francine puffed a tiny laugh. "I'm not *that* much older than you. But I am that much smarter -- at least for the moment."
"Do you want us to stay?"
Lois looked at Brenda, registering the genuine caring in her expression, and felt the urge to cry. "No, I'll be fine. I'll go right to bed, I promise."
Brenda just looked at her for another moment, then nodded. "Okay."
"Are you planning to come back to the office after your nap?"
Lois smiled. "Of course."
Francine rolled her eyes. "How did I know that? You want me to pick you up later?"
"No, I'll be fine," Lois repeated, sniffling. "Good night."
Reluctantly, they left, pulling the door shut behind them. Lois wiped her eyes. She was not going to cry. She was -- had been -- an officer of the US Army. So they hadn't found Kal yet. They would. Someone would call soon, surely.
Tiredness crashed over her and she headed for the bedroom. Succumbing to temptation, she sat on the bed and hugged Kal's pillow. They'd only had one night... it wasn't fair. She blinked, fighting back tears, then closed her eyes to focus on her connection to him. He was confused and unhappy. **I'll find you, Kal. I promise.**
She wiped the trace of tears off her cheek. Once before, she'd thought he was gone forever. He had come back, though. And he would do so again.
He had to.
Moving sluggishly, she peeled off her outer clothing and tucked herself in, holding onto his pillow. It didn't really smell like him, but it was the closest she could manage at the moment. Her eyes fluttered closed, and sleep claimed her.
****
**I'll find you, Kal. I promise.**
Kal's eyes snapped open at the whisper of a voice. He'd been dozing on the futon, his thoughts wandering in unpredictable ways, but that voice had been real. He looked around the room, trying to pinpoint it, but there was no one else there. His sudden surge of hope leaked away, leaving him lower than before.
He slumped back against the cushions. Obviously he'd imagined it. It wouldn't make sense to say 'I'll find you' if he had already been found. And if no one was there, he couldn't have heard anything. He was so desperate to believe he belonged somewhere that he was fantasizing. He couldn't afford that.
Still... was anyone out looking for him? Restless, he stood and began to prowl around the room. It wasn't that Dr. Porter wasn't nice... well, actually, she wasn't that nice, but she was civil, and she was helping him out. It had been her suggestion that he should come back to this office/bedroom and rest for a while. According to her, hypnosis therapy could be tiring, and it worked best when the patient had time to consider and absorb what had been learned in the last session.
Which wasn't much. The mere thought of Nightfall kicked his adrenaline into overdrive, but he still didn't know why. Of course he was upset about the impending end of the world -- who wouldn't be? But that didn't begin to cover his reaction. It almost felt like he ought to be *doing* something about it. Or that it was somehow something personal.
Personal. Between him and the asteroid. Yeah.
Maybe a psychotherapist's office was the best possible place for him. He was getting sick of it, though. He wanted to feel the sun on his face -- and it got dark early in December. Dr. Porter seemed to want him to stay inside, but he could ask.
It seemed very wrong, on some fundamental level, to have to ask anyone for permission to do anything. From what he'd remembered earlier, he was a person of some responsibility.
Another memory broke free and bobbed to the surface of his mind. This time, he was an officer, fresh out of training, facing down a friend.
"Why did you do it, Vor?" He remembered clearly how anguished he'd felt.
Vor-Chal shrugged. "Look, Kal, all I did was use your engine as a model."
"Vor, it was a test." He was aghast at Vor's lack of comprehension. "You need to know how to assemble that engine *without* a model."
"Oh, like I'm ever going to need to know how to repair a ship's engine. That's what the lower classes are for. Don't worry, Kal; they'll never know."
"Yes, they will," Kal had replied.
"They never noticed before, why should they start now?"
Kal's stomach lurched. Vor had been his best friend since they'd entered the academy. Or at least, so he'd thought. "Don't you see? I have to tell them. You'd be a danger to your crew."
He'd called Mak-Ra and the house guards, and the guards took Vor-Chal away, still protesting that he'd done nothing bad.
"Well done, Kal-El," Mak-Ra said, resting a hand on Kal's shoulder.
Kal fought back tears. It was in mastering his emotions that a man matured. "He was my friend."
Unexpectedly, Mak-Ra was sympathetic. "I know. It's hard. It's a lesson we must all learn, however. Trust only in yourself, Kal-El. Be on guard, watching, so that you can spot treachery in the making. We cannot afford to trust. As you saw."
Kal nodded, and lifted his chin. "Yes. I can see that now."
The memory faded out again... leaving behind residual traces of anger, humiliation, shame, and loneliness. He was alone, no matter who came looking for him. He always would be.
Then another memory intruded. "Ah, shey-ana... don't you know?" he heard himself asking tenderly. "You'll never be alone again." He was lying in bed with a woman, feeling safe and loved and protective, and happy... and suddenly he knew.
Lois.
He remembered!
Although... it would be helpful if he knew her last name, too. Or anything else about her. His initial rush of euphoria ebbed away. He could almost recall her face, but it was fuzzy, and all other details were missing. The sense of contentment and closeness was fading, too, no matter how hard he tried to hold on to it.
Fading, just like a dream. Reality smacked back into him. It was a dream, a mere wishful thought. He couldn't remember details because there weren't any, and never had been. He knew that now. Lois wasn't real; she was only a dream.
He was alone, and always would be.
****
Gwen drummed her fingers on her desk, trying to think. As incredible as it seemed, she was ninety-nine percent certain that Kal was an alien. There was that pesky one percent doubt, though, and she had no proof. She would have to rectify that before presenting any of this to Trask.
She glanced at her notes. Kal was from someplace called New Krypton; he'd said so under hypnosis, and she had it on tape. He hadn't explicitly said it was a different planet, though. She'd checked with the local librarian, who hadn't been able to come up with anything on a place called New Krypton, not in any of the variant spellings they'd tried. It had to be a different planet. One with spaceflight.
He was amazingly strong. Her old desk was made of solid mahogany, and had been known to require the combined efforts of three men to move. Kal had picked it up and repositioned it as if it weighed very little. He didn't seem to be aware of his strength, though.
What other abilities might he have forgotten about?
He'd been close enough to the fireball that it had burned his clothes off -- but he wasn't even scratched. He was familiar with the aborted tidal wave, enough so that he could name one of the guilty parties. She pulled out her copy of the Metro Post. The picture was nearly useless, but... yes, that could have been Kal. And he'd said that to stop Nightfall he should fly into space and break it up. Which may well have been precisely what happened.
Gwen didn't like to reason in advance of her data, but the conclusion here was hard to avoid. Also quite irresistible. One lone man could save the world from impending doom -- but only if she helped him remember.
In a way, the fate of the world lay in her hands. The rush of power was exhilarating. They'd never properly appreciated her; no one had. But she alone knew what had happened to Nightfall. She alone had the opportunity and skills to save the planet.
With a little help from Kal, of course. And when he recovered his memories, he would no longer be in her control... unless she could take advantage of her opportunity and skills to implant in him a certain amount of loyalty to herself. It was always a tricky task, brainwashing, but if it worked...! Beginning with the session after dinner, she'd add those special commands to her other agenda. It might take a few times, but with any luck, Kal would soon be loyal to her, and to her alone.
****
"Lois, what are you doing here?"
Lois looked up from her desk to see Brenda standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. "Making a few more phone calls."
"You're supposed to be sleeping, remember?"
"I know, and I did sleep for a while. But then I woke up a little, and figured I might as well be here as anywhere." Being alone in the apartment had quickly become unbearable, in fact. Not that being at the office was much of an improvement. All she seemed to be able to do was look at the huge list of queries they'd made, all of them either no reply, or negative.
Brenda came in and plopped herself down in Lois's guest chair. "So, how are things? I'm still making calls, but so far I got nothing."
Lois leaned back, weary and unsurprised. "I know. It's hopeless."
"Hey, weren't you the one, earlier, who was telling us to think positive?"
"You're right." Lois smacked herself theatrically on the temple. "How could I have forgotten. Okay, let me start over -- it's *positively* hopeless."
Brenda chuckled, and Lois couldn't help but smile, a little.
"Come on, Lois. He's only been gone, what, less than a day? You've looked for missing persons before, right?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm just sick of phone calls."
Brenda shrugged. "So get out there and pound the pavement a little. The exercise might do you good."
"But where would I go? We talked to that homeless guy, and the director of the shelter, and the people in the kitchen didn't even speak English."
"Well, this 'professionally dressed' woman left before we got there, maybe other people did too."
"I suppose." Lois frowned, pondering. "They get people to volunteer in there, right? Maybe our mystery woman was a regular volunteer? No, the director said he didn't recognize her. But there might have been other people there, and one of them might know something." She sat up and flipped through her much-abused yellow pages until she found the shelter's number. "It can't hurt to ask, right?"
****
Kal wandered restlessly from the back room to the front of the office. Dr. Porter was at her desk again, studying a file of some kind. She seemed a little startled when he emerged from the back. "Hello. Have you remembered anything new?"
He shrugged. "Not really."
"Well, I'll tell you what," she said, glancing at her watch. "I'm hungry, and it's nearly dinner time. I'm going to go out for a little while, to get us something. Chinese food, perhaps. What sort of food do you like?"
"Beats the hell out of me."
"Oh, of course. Well, I'll bring an assortment." She stood, pulling her handbag out of a desk drawer, and holding on to the file folder she'd been studying. "I won't be long. You will stay here, I hope. It's not such a nice neighborhood out there after dark."
He glanced at the window. "It's not dark yet."
"It will be soon. I'd better hurry."
"I could go with you," he pointed out. "I might not know where I'm going but I think I could handle myself."
"No doubt you could," she said, pulling the door to the stairway open. "But I'll be just fine. Why don't you use the time to try to remember more things?"
"Okay." Slightly perplexed, he watched her leave, then laid down on the couch. He wasn't really enthusiastic about remembering anything else. Everything he'd pieced together so far had been depressing. He wasn't really hungry, either, but he supposed he needed to eat something.
He wandered over to the window, but it was too high; from this angle he couldn't see anywhere close to the street. Turning, he spotted the corner of a newspaper stuck in one of the desk drawers.
Something to read, that was what he needed. Something to distract him from the bleakness of his barely-remembered life. He opened the drawer enough to extract the paper, and unfolded it.
The Metro Post. It looked vaguely trashy, and not at all the sort of thing Dr. Gwen Porter would read. But at the same time... it seemed familiar. He checked the date against her desk calendar -- the paper was two days old. Had he seen it? Why would she be keeping it? After scanning the headlines, he checked out the picture, to be hit with an even stronger sense of deja-vu. This was something he knew, a mystery to others but not him. He studied it, focusing on the small figure hovering over the water. Was that a person?
Out of nowhere, a memory popped into his mind. He was in an apartment, with several women. One of them was saying, "I just wanna know if that's Kal in the picture."
The woman next to him evaded the question, he thought. For some reason, he found the whole scene amusing. Or he had, when it had happened.
The first voice returned. "Don't make me hurt you, girlfriend."
The woman by his side -- Lois! -- laughed. "Gimme your best shot."
He remembered having joined in the teasing. "Ladies, please! Innocent bystander, here!"
The memory was chased away by the ringing of a phone. He scowled at it. The first positive memory he'd had, and whoever was calling had to ruin things. The phone continued to ring, but he had no inclination to pick it up. He wanted to immerse himself in his recovered memory... But no, he reminded himself, it couldn't be real. He must have had quite a fantasy world set up for Lois and him. So detailed that it felt like a memory.
The ringing stopped, but the click and whir of an answering machine began. It must have been set to broadcast voices, as he heard Gwen's aristocratic voice informing callers that they should leave a message, but at least the volume was low.
This was not what he wanted to be thinking about! He moved away from the desk. If he'd been fantasizing, why would he have come up with that scene? And either the dream or the memory must have been recent -- for some reason he knew they had been discussing the picture he was looking at.
He stopped, the words coming out of the answering machine grabbing his attention.
"...may have lost his memory. If you see him, please contact me at 555-9976. Thank you."
Could this woman be calling about him? He moved over to the desk and grabbed for the phone with trembling hands. "Hello?"
Dial tone. Whoever the woman was, she'd hung up the phone hard on the heels of the 'thank you.' He looked around for a pen and paper, trying to remember the number, but there was nothing to write on or with. That voice... it had sounded flat and tired, but he knew that voice. It was Brenda, from his dreams. But Brenda was in the dreams with Lois, and if Brenda was real...
Lois was real.
tbc
