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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Another little gem, C_A! This is beautiful - so poignant, as well as insightful. You write the minor female characters in L&C so well, especially their feelings for Clark. /me wonders if C_A's next story will be from Mayson's point of view...  You said you wanted to shed light on that stage of Clark's life using Rachel as a mirror - well, you succeeded admirably. We see the loneliness and isolation, even among his cheerful friendliness. And the way he describes Lana as not being open-minded enough...  These were the perfect final lines: He would never realize just how well she had known him back then, in those days of loneliness and frustration, how she had understood without words all the things he had never shared with her, and how well she remembered the ones he had, including a farewell kiss in the face of an impending storm.
He would never know that he had never been alone. Wonderful! I hope this, and your Lana story, are on their way to the Archive!  Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 192 |
I was just about to open a new fdk-thread when I noticed Wendy's post in the last second - and she didn't only beat me to the punch in regards of posting but she also took those words out of my mouth  Well, my first thought was a pessimistic one; why would one think about writing a first person piece for a character that was hardly noticed at all? In the end, I'm glad you did and that you were able to proceed with your rare and special vignettes. To me, Rachel has always been the kind of person that perfectly faded in the backgroud, quietly yearning for her young love. Especially after this story, she reminds me a little bit of Chloe from Smallville - and this scene does too. You did write a very empathetic piece and I'm glad to read that you're hooked on fanfiction All the more for us to enjoy, yay!
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Good!!  I hope this is not your last story Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543 |
Wonderful little gem, C_A. Enjoyed it very much. It's a great example of how to write point of view by showing how someone is seen by another person. Lovely, gerry (who can't seem to get Four Strong Winds out of her head now.) 
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, This was beautiful! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613 |
This was my favorite line: Clark stayed a friend, of course, because he was a friend to anyone who wanted him to be. I don't know why, but that just stuck out. You did a wonderful job showing what Clark was like. And using Rachel was perfect. Great job! ~Kristen
Joey: If he doesn't like you, then this is all just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion, you know, it just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Another excellent short story.
I like the theme or Anyone but L&C:TNAOS
James
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
Wow, this was just beautiful.  I'd love to read a story from Mayson's POV. But also anything else written by you.  ~Julia
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 101
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 101 |
Beautiful insight into Clark's life from Rachel's pov. Very poignant. I really empathized with her, and with the sense of isolation you show in Clark. Well done.  Marcy
(Elrond's blessing at the departure of the company from Rivendell)
"Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you.
May the stars shine upon your faces!"
-Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 378
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 378 |
I was so happy to see a story from Rachel's POV. For obvious reasons, I am biased towards her character in the first place. You captured so well the poignancy of a love that is all the more touching because it is not reciprocated. I'm so glad you're staying with the writing
**~~**
Swoosh --->
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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What a beautiful story. I loved it. Happy holidays, everyone!
The world is made up of three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
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Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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CA Another wonderful story!  I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
I'd love to wax lyrical on this one, but unfortunately I only have time for a quick 'drive-by'. I've always enjoyed Rachel stories and this one shows the same deft touch with character as your last vignette, C_A. Beautifully done. Personally, I'm all for more stories focusing on characters other than the usual suspects. Especially when they're as well written as this. Wonderful! LabRat (seconding that Archive comment from Wendy )
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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