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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Here it is - the section that had me in tears when I first read it. Poor Clark! What an impossible choice - an earthquake or a hostage situation? Whichever he chose, he was always going to be in the wrong, wasn't he? These lines just made me want to weep for him: She wanted to tell him that he was not to blame for those deaths today. He could not have known that a mad despot would order his army to kill four hundred innocents just to get at three hijackers. Nobody else had guessed that Rwinde had been that far down the path to megalomania and madness, so why should Clark have been expected to know?
She sat down beside him, the inches between them a chasm that she desperately wanted to cross. She wanted to wipe away his tears. She wanted to wrap him in her arms. She wanted to rock him gently, as though she would a child.
It would be the easiest thing in the world to reach out to him because how could she *not* talk to him, when he sat like that, bowed down with misery and a guilt that was not his to bear. He needed someone so desperately. He needed a confidante. He needed comfort.
He needed her. There was nobody else.  This is so incredibly well-written, Chris, and it's already on my Kerth list. Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613 |
I agree with Wendy. This Clark is so alone! I don't think I've ever read a more depressing Clark, alternate or not. But you do it so well! I don't understand these people that work at the Superman Foundation. Do they not understand the purpose of their work? Do they not realize that they have jobs because of Clark? They could show him some respect and let him do his thing. That whole part made me so mad.  If I had to deal with those suits and then get blamed, not for getting there too late but for ruining a perfect photo opportunity, I can't even imagine what I would have done. If Lois didn't try to do something, I was considering jumping through my computer screen to do it myself!  He soooo needs her. I can't wait to see where you take these two. And maybe you could roll a few heads while you're at it? ~Kristen
Joey: If he doesn't like you, then this is all just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion, you know, it just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457 |
Chris... Wow. That's it. Wow. I've literally had tears in my eyes for most of this part. Earlier, they were tears of frustration at that idiot Simmons, (and I understand why Wendy wanted to strangle her!) and the board of lawyers (who Clark should bloody fire!). Then they were tears of pain. Because you managed to describe the scenes so well. This line... The twisted wreckage of the Boeing 747 was still warm to the touch. This line made me gasp out loud. Just... wow. Ouch. And wow. So well written and so powerful, and... I'm not making much sense, but... wow, Chris. The lead up and the execution... just... wow. Don't ever stop writing lines like that, okay? And then, God. When Lois touched him... when he gave into temptation and let her... when he *recognised* her touch from his dreams... I cried. I did. I'll admit it. Because... wow. These lines did it. It's their fault. He reached out blindly and found himself touching something solid. He explored with his fingertips, then felt himself being gathered into a hug.
He hadn't been hugged like that since... He couldn't remember when. Perhaps he hadn't been hugged like that, held to a warm and comforting busom, since he was ten years old and his parents had died. But if given the choice, I'd read them again. A million times. Because... wow. That's it. Wow. Dave
'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
- Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Oh, the hug!  It's just too sad! Poor Clark! I'm not going to be able to get that image of Clark hugging the air and crying out of my head. Post again soon! Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
Wonderful. Beautiful. Heart-rending.Wow, Chris! Patrick in Operational Services, telling people where to go - loved that. The Superman Foundation, so bureaucratic and emotionless - hated that (but also loved it). Miss Simmons - splat. The hug? Yvonne
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
You have to fix this, Chris.
As for those people at the Superman Foundation, I'd love to see Lois deal with them ...
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Awwww! So sad poor Clark. But I like the end of this one. I can't wait to see how you get them out of this mess. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
Poor Clark. I'd again say that I want to give him a hug, but yay Lois for breaking the rules and doing that. Taking a chance; that's what it's all about.
These Superman Foundation people and Miss Simmons definitely need to get a piece of Lois' mind, if Clark won't give them his.
Loved the tiny touches you threw in, such as Patrick from Operational Services.
And then the little humorous bits like: By the time they got there, Lois was losing the will to live -- or would have been, had she not already been dead.
Very deftly handled! I love this.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  Her work is to create and maintain his image, if he is going to look after his image them there is no need for her service. Did Miss Simmons have any idea how much damage a single phone call could do?
Lois looked at the shards of black plastic that once been a handset. How Clark had managed to be polite in the face of so much provocation, Lois had no idea. She would not have been. :rolleyes: This women should know there wore more casualties in Afghanistan than in Namibwe.  They made Superman a business! How can Clark let this happen? Should he be frightened? There was nobody there. He was being embraced by air.
But...
It felt so good.
He gave into temptation, and he began to sob.  Why are they letting Lois do this with out a supervision? Why Clark?  They should know by now what are Lois' feelings. More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
This story is like a breath of fresh air. It's new, exciting and interesting. Much of it, as has already been said, is heartrending.
It's great to see that we can still get fresh new ideas. Keep up the good work.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Chris, do you know how much this gets to me? Clark had had access to his savings after he'd lost his byline at the Daily Planet. He'd been teetering on the edge of an overdraft and eviction before desperation had led him to create his alter ego, K-C Jerome. If Clark had had to eat to survive, his financial situation would have been a whole lot worse. Clark is working his butt off all the time to help and save as many people as he possibly can, and yet his financial situation is so rotten that it's a good thing that he doesn't have to eat?!?!? And he's come close to losing his apartment already? I'm not going to wax eloquent on what it would mean to be homeless, people, but please take a moment to consider it. Okay, Clark is impervious to any kind of bad weather, and he doesn't need a bed to sleep in, but what would it mean to your mental well-being to have no place at all you could call your home???? And I love the idea that Clark doesn't accept payment for carrying out his Superman heroics. I've always loved his absolute altruism, ever since I first became aware of him when I was twelve. But back then, I always took it for granted that he'd be able to have a secret identity and the comfort of an ordinary life that comes from that. Because, you know, as long as Clark Kent hasn't been outed as an alien, the people of his world will deign him the right to call himself one of them, and to enjoy the comforts and pleasures that comes from belonging to your group. So many things in this part are heart-rending, as so many people have already pointed out. The most horrible thing of them all, of course, is that Clark has to choose between helping the victims of an earthquake in Afghanistan and solving a hostage situation in Namibwe. And Clark, who for all his superpowers is no more able to look into the future or read a mad President's mind than the rest of us, chooses to help the victims of the earthquake. And when the hostage situation turns into a catastrophe, people blame Clark. And many readers here blame Ms. Simmons. Yes, she is a horrible person. Yes, she deserves to be punished. But she is not the root cause of the problem. She is not the one who made Clark lose his byline at the Daily Planet. She is not the one who has threatened him with eviction. She is not the one who makes sure nobody ever visits Clark. And don't tell me she's got the sort of clout all over the world that if people everywhere are furious with Clark for helping the earthquake victims instead of the hostages, it's not because they all listened to her. No, Ms Simmons is a symptom, not the cause, of the contempt and even disgust that this whole society feels for Clark Kent, the too-kind-for-words alien. Maybe the members of this society despise him and hate him because deep down, they can see what a terrific, fantastic, altruistic guy he is. And if they were to take a long, hard look at themselves, they would see how horrible they themselves are in comparison. And nobody can stand feeling that bad about themselves, so instead they take comfort in their group, in the safe knowledge that they are the normal and regular guys, and that alien should be thankful that they tolerate his presence in their midst at all. And it's because of this that I hope that you, Chris, won't kill Ms. Simmons. Because whatever she is, whatever she has done, if she is the one who gets all the punishment she will never be more than a scapegoat. A female scapegoat at that. Not entirely unlike the not necessarily altogether pleasant women who were burnt at the stake as witches during the 16th and the 17th century. Ah, well. Enough lecturing already - and Chris, if you have indeed planned to unburden Ms. Simmons of her Flesh and move her into the realm of the angels - or, admittedly, far, far more likely into the realm of demons and devils!!!  Keep your story coming, because it is amazing, as I've already said! Ann
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Woot!! Jose
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Columnist
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Columnist
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There is so much going on here!  First. That Superman Foundation needs a real shake-up and soon. Second! Clark really is alone here and needs some support. Third! Thank goodness Lois  never does what she's supposed to do. That hug was exactly what Clark needed. And he could feel some substance. What does that mean? gerry
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 484 |
What can I say other than another heart-felt thank you to you all! No roll call today, though... I'm running short on time. I did wonder when I wrote this whether the stuff with the Superman Foundation was a bit over the top. Yes, I have the indignation I was going for... but don't expect to get any happy resolution on that front in this fic. Yes, the Foundation is being run as a business. How did Clark let it get to that point? I think it just happened. People and organisations are expected to account for the money that passes through their hands. Okay, so the people in the Foundation *are* morons, but they are also employees and business people. They are not crooks or embezzlers. And they are doing their jobs. How would Clark stop it? I'm not sure. He's not a businessman. I think it would take someone with the drive and righteous indignation of a Lois to sort this mess out. However, as I say, that's not likely to happen in this fic. Ann, your feedback continues to amaze me. And all of it continues to delight!  Chris
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