PART SEVEN
If the Council meeting was simply an informal inquiry, why did the Councillors have to, as Marcus put it, retire to consider their verdict? And how long would Lois and Kilmartin have to wait until the meeting was reconvened?
Lois followed Kilmartin as he walked over to a bench in the shadow of the cloister and collapsed. He must have been holding himself upright through willpower alone. His legs couldn't hold him up any longer.
Lois looked down at him. Why did he look so lost?
"What...?"
Why wouldn't her mouth work properly?
She cleared her throat. "What just happened in there?"
Kilmartin lifted his head and met her gaze. "You... They..." He made a helpless gesture and lapsed back into silence.
Today had been a day of firsts, Lois thought wryly. It had been her first time in the Council Chamber. Her first time appearing in front of the Council. Her first time seeing Kilmartin truly angry. Then scared. And now defeated.
"What did I do?" she asked.
"There's a reason," Kilmartin said, as much to himself as to her, "why no Guardianships have been invoked since 1702."
"But I thought--"
Kilmartin cut her off with a harsh, mirthless chuckle. "You still think too much like a mortal, Lois. And that may be the only thing that will save you now."
"I... don't understand."
"I know you don't." Kilmartin sounded more than sad. He sounded bereft. He closed his eyes and looked down at the ground. "The reason Guardianships fell out of use is that they very rarely worked."
Lois waited for more. When nothing was forthcoming, she said down next to him, and angled herself so that she could see his profile. She said, "But I thought--"
Kilmartin's lips twisted. "You thought Guardian Angels were two-a-penny. Mortals use the term lightly, but they don't understand anything."
"Oh." It was a hollow word. Like her. For some reason, she felt terribly empty.
"What is an angel?" Kilmartin asked abruptly, and suddenly Lois was back in his office, right at the beginning of her training.
He'd asked her that question then, too. And she had struggled to find an answer. She'd mumbled something about God and messengers before grinding to an embarrassed halt.
"What are you?" he'd asked her then.
"I'm..." And she'd faltered a second time.
Before, if she'd been asked, she'd have said she was a reporter or an American or a woman or a human, but most of those no longer applied. She'd lost her job the moment she'd died, she wasn't sure whether nationalities existed in heaven, and she doubted, strictly speaking, that she was still human.
She'd looked down at her body, compared it to his, and had been relieved to discover that she was at least still a woman.
"You're an angel," he'd said.
"But I don't know what that is!" she'd protested miserably.
"I know you don't. That is why you have me. My job is to help you learn what you are, what being an angel involves and how to become the best angel you can. I daresay it will take time. Leaving behind the ways of Flesh always does."
He'd never asked the question again. Until now.
"We are angels," Lois said, "chosen in the name of God. We are tasked with monitoring the mortals of Earth, comforting, guiding and protecting where our work does not conflict with the Grand Design. We cannot fight destiny."
Kilmartin nodded approvingly. Lois felt warmed by his unspoken praise, but she still didn't get the point he was trying to make.
"As you know, there are different kinds of love," he said. "Selfish love. Selfless love. Fraternal love. The kind of love that exists between a man and a woman. Phileo..."
"I know that," she said, remembering another early lesson. "And there is also agape."
"Indeed." A hint of a smile played around Kilmartin's lips. "Angels are ecouraged to put phileo* behind them, but, once an angel has been returned to Earth, agape is seldom enough to sustain the Guardianship bond."
"What?" Lois exclaimed. She shot to her feet, paced away from the bench, spun around and faced Kilmartin, her hands on her hips and her face a picture of horror. "What do you mean, 'returned to Earth'?"
"Now you begin to see what all the fuss was about. Come and sit down again." Kilmartin gestured to the spot beside him.
Lois reluctantly returned to the place she'd left moments before.
"Guardianship is different to all other angelic activities. It is far more... Intimate, I suppose, is as good a word as any, although it need not imply actual intimacy. It requires one to one interaction between Guardian and Guardee. Human interaction. And phileo.
"But, just as new angels feel the echoes of their Flesh days, angels returned to Earth often suffer from echoes of the angelic. The longer someone has been an angel, the stronger those echoes will be, and the harder he or she will find it to adjust to life on Earth. History is littered with Guardians who failed to establish a bond with their Guardee and who were forced to wonder rootless across the Earth until they died." Kilmartin's lips twisted in a parody of a smile. "Haven't you wondered why there are so many great tragedies in human literature and art? Many have been inspired by Guardianships gone awry.
"Some Guardians -- my friend Patrick, for example -- end up back here, but there is no guarantee, just because someone is chosen for an angel once, that they will be chosen again."
"I often wonder why I was chosen at all," Lois muttered. "I mean, I've never been naturally angelic."
"You were chosen because you have a good heart, Lois. And because you work hard. I know you have sometimes struggled here, but you have always persevered."
Lois nodded. "I've always tried to do my best."
"And for the most part, you have succeeded, recent events notwithstanding."
"Thank you," she said softly. "Your saying that means a lot to me."
Lois chewed on her lower lip for a moment or two while she ran through everything Kilmartin had just told her. Then she thought about Clark and everything he had come to mean to her. "So," she said finally, "you're telling me that Guardians are angels made Flesh and returned to Earth?"
"Yes."
"And the shorter the time someone has been an angel, and the harder that person has found it to adjust, the more likely it is that Guardianship will work?"
"Yes," Kilmartin said grudgingly.
"Which would give me an above average chance of success, am I correct? After all you're always saying I--"
"Don't tell me what I'm always telling you, please." Kilmartin's voice was pained.
"I'm right, though, aren't I?"
Kilmartin clamped his lips tightly closed.
"Tell me!" Lois demanded. "I want... I need to know!"
"All right!" The words exploded from Kilmartin's mouth. "All right. Yes! You're right!"
"You think they're going to go for the Guardianship idea, don't you?"
"I hope I'm wrong, but... I think there is a strong chance they will. Their final decision, though, will depend on how far your alien's activities fit into the Grand Design."
*****
Lois stood before the dais, her fingers crossed. She hoped that the Council would make the right decision. A just decision. If they brushed Clark's needs away...
Was it possible for an angel to run away from heaven if they were needed more elsewhere?
Lois didn't know. She hoped she wouldn't need to find out.
Archangel Marcus slowly looked around the Chamber and began to speak. "God did not plan for Clark Kent's arrival on Earth, but He approves of his work and deeds. Indeed, Angel Lois--" and he looked straight at her "-- His opinion is not unlike your own: this man has done a huge amount for Earth and its people. We should assist him in any way we can."
Lois let out a long breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. "Thank you," she murmured softly, her eyes lifted up, a very human gesture of profound gratitude. Of prayer.
She was so distracted, she almost missed Marcus's next words.
"Unfortunately for you, Angel Lois, however, the Council also agrees with certain of your opinions.
"There is evidence to support your notion that no human can help Clark Kent. And giving him closure -- letting him keep the knowledge that you are dead -- will not heal the wounds his soul carries. Moreover, it robs him of hope. This will, of course, affect his ability to operate. In turn, that will have negative consequences for the Grand Design. We are required to prevent those negative consequences from happening.
"However, you cannot return to him in your angelic form. Our laws and customs forbid it.
"Only one possibility remains. Guardianship. Under this scenario, you would be returned to Earth. You would return to your human body. And you would be given the chance to meet and bond with Clark Kent.
"Understand, Angel Lois, that Guardianship holds many dangers.
"As such, we will not compell you to take on Guardianship. We offer you a choice. We will not think any less or more of you however you chose.
"You may have one day to decide. The Council will reconvene at mid-day tomorrow to hear your decision." Marcus looked up and out towards the assembled crowds and said, "This hearing is adjorned."
"No!" cried Lois. "I don't need a day! I'll do it!"
There was silence.
Then a crescendo of muttering.
Then, across it all, a knife cutting through the uproar, Marcus's voice. He sounded sombre, almost regretful, even though the idea had orignally been his. "Very well," he said. "If you are sure, then we may as well proceed immediately. Angel Lois, we will need your assistance in making the necessary preparations for the Guardianship. If you wouldn't mind..." He gestured towards the entrance through which the Council had entered. "You, too, Angel Kilmartin, if you please."
Lois moved to follow the Leader but her arm was snagged by Kilmartin's hand. She turned back to face him.
"Lois!" Never had she expected to hear such anguish from her mentor. "Please, no! You must reconsider! Perhaps it is not yet too late!"
Lois shook her head. "I don't need to reconsider."
"Leader--" cried Kilmartin after Marcus's departing back.
Marcus paused, turned, and said flatly, "The decision lay with your trainee, Angel Kilmartin. And you are simply delaying the inevitable."
Kilmartin stared at Marcus, but there was no hope to be gained from that quarter. He turned back to face Lois.
Kilmartin looked as though he wanted to faint. "How could you say yes?" he hissed at her, trying to keep his voice low. "After everything I told you! You heard the Leader! You had a choice! You didn't have to do this! Maybe you still don't. Maybe it's not too late for you to change your mind!"
Lois shook her head again. She smiled, knowing it for what it was, a sweet blend of sadness, tranquility and acceptance. "No, I don't have a choice. I'm not sure that I ever did."
"Lois, listen to me!" Kilmartin grabbed her shoulders with both hands and gripped so hard that it hurt. "Pay attention for once in your life! I still don't think you really know what this means for you!
"You will be sent back! Your memory will be wiped! You'll be human again. You've seen heaven. You've touched it. Could you really give it all up for a collection of mere possibilities?"
Lois nodded serenely. "Yes." She knew what she was doing. She'd seen heaven, yes, but she'd also seen Clark. She'd seen what he'd needed. She'd felt the echoes of human desire coursing through her body, remembered how it felt to feel attraction, to want to love and be loved.
She knew that with Clark she could give and have it all. It would be as close to heaven on earth as it was possible to get.
Plus she'd be doing something good. Something wonderful. Something... Noble. Or it would have been noble if she was giving more than she would receive.
So, no. She had no doubts. Only a wealth of certainties.
She felt the serenity she'd never before managed to find in heaven wash over her. She felt at peace.
Kilmartin sighed and, although he continued talking, the fire had gone out of his argument. Now his words were just words, lacking conviction. He knew he'd lost the argument. He accepted that he'd lost it even before it had begun.
Lois took no pleasure from her victory.
"You'll be starting from scratch," Kilmartin said sadly. "You have to understand that. Right here and right now, you know what you want to go back for. But down there... You will be just another human. You won't know him. You won't remember anything that you have seen here. You won't remember what it is that you've set out to do.
"What if you don't fall in love with him?"
Lois lifted her chin. "Then I'll be his friend."
Kilmartin tried one last time. "Do you really want to risk an eternity of peace for the merest possibility of a life with Clark Kent?"
"Yes." How could she begin to explain that, for her, perfect peace lay away from the Enclave? That, for her, the path to peace lay in the heart and soul of a mortal?
But perhaps she didn’t need to explain, because Kilmartin said, "If what you say is true, then I won't stand in your way."
*****
TBC
