I wont delay too long, but I'd like to apologise for how long this has taken to get out, and thank Wendy, Sara, Sorcha, Yvonne, Jackie and Saskia for everything they've done to make this story possible. Without you guys... well... I don't think I'd have been able to finish.
From Part Four...Clark closed his eyes and welcomed the darkness. Welcomed the emptiness. He focused on the flicker of the starlit sky beneath his lids. He focused on the feeling of gliding, of rising... and then he was. He snapped open his eyes as he felt the ground fall away beneath him. He hovered an inch off the floor, pushed himself up to a foot and then two... and then he was *flying*!
“Oh my God.” Her startled gasp made him falter, and he landed heavily.
“I just wish you’d believe me.”
“You...” Her eyes were wide. “You’re him!”
He couldn’t help the grin that stretched his cheeks. He was Superman. He’d known it. The same way he’d known how he felt about her.
“You’re him, but... you can’t be! You’re sick! You... you lost your memory. And you can’t get sick!” Her face had gone pale. “How is that even possib... the asteroid! It must’ve been... the asteroid! Oh my God, Clark! You have to go back to EPRAD...”
Ice wrapped around his heart. The asteroid... the fear... the panic... A hole ripped itself through his gut as reality crashed around him.
Nightfall.
“No,” he whispered. She paused mid-babble. “No, I can’t go back up there.”
--
Part Five--
It’d missed.
Hours later, the words were still echoing in his head.
‘The Asgard rocket has missed its target.’
Clark stared up into the night sky. The lights were out across most of the city, and the sky... the sky was lit with stars. He’d never... you never saw the stars in Metropolis. It was beautiful. Peaceful.
Deceptive.
A gentle squeeze caught his attention briefly. Lois had taken his hand when they’d watched the rocket soar past the asteroid, and she hadn’t let go of it. She’d yelled at him, she’d pleaded with him, she’d listened to him, and the whole time, she hadn’t let go of his hand. Since they’d found out...
Somewhere out there... the end of the world was hurtling towards them.
“Clark?” Her voice was a whisper on the edge of his conscious.
He dragged his eyes away from the sky and turned to look at her. Her face was soft in the moonlight, her features delicate. She smiled at him weakly, and his heart flipped. She was being strong for him again...
He’d believed her, earlier, when she’d told him Superman would save them. He’d believed in her unwavering faith. Like thousands... millions of people, he’d believed Superman would save them. He’d trusted in that.
He’d believed Lois when she’d said Superman would save them, because he’d had to.
Clark swallowed roughly as his gaze dropped, involuntarily, and settled on her flat stomach. On the child they’d never have. He’d had to believe her then, and... he had to go now.
He had to save them.
When it came down to it... when he put everything aside. The expectations. The fear. The urgency... There was no choice. When it came down to it... if it was between his life and hers...
“You’re the only chance we have now.”
“I know,” he said, dropping his gaze to the floor. He was the only chance left, and he knew that. He knew he had to go, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull his hand from hers.
Clark raised his eyes, watching her in the moonlit silence, his heart aching. No, there was no choice. He’d pick her. Every time.
“You’re going to be fine, Clark.”
He tried to smile as he let his hand slip from hers. “I know.”
“Really,” she said, catching his hand again. “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to go up there and kick some butt. And then you’ll come back, and you’ll remember everything so I can kill you for lying to me.”
Clark grinned, pulling her into his arms. He breathed her in, committing her to memory. He’d need the memories... He’d need to remember the way her curves moulded against him and the silk of her hair under his fingers. He’d need to imprint the rhythm of her heart as it beat next to his...
He tightened his arms around her, not ready to fly off into eternity.
Her breath was warm against his neck. “Is there anything I can do?”
He turned his head, burying his nose in her hair, breathing her in, for one last time. One last embrace. “Marry me when I get back.”
She tensed in his arms and he loosened his hold, pulling back slightly and watching her face.
“Clark...” She let her voice trail off as she raised her eyes to his. The apology written in them... “I love you, but I can’t marry you.”
The breath rushed out of him and his shoulders slumped. He’d known she’d say no, but he’d thought... he’d hoped she might say yes. Now that she knew everything, now that she’d admitted how she felt too, now... that he had to face Nightfall...
He’d thought she’d give him a reason to come back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, dropping his arms and turning away. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
The silence hung in the air between them. Awkward. Heavy. Loaded.
“Clark?” Her hand found his back. He could feel her palm burning circles on his back through the shirt he was wearing. A speck of warmth against the sudden chill. Her voice was soft. “Why *did* you ask me?”
Why?
He loved her. And he needed her. He needed to hold onto the fantasy that he might have her... to the dream that she was his...
“I love you, Lois,” he whispered. Her hand paused on his back and he continued. “I asked you, because I want to marry you. I asked you, because I can’t remember being happier than I was when I thought we were married. I asked because I can’t leave without knowing you’ll be here if... when...”
“I’ll be here *when* you get back,” she said, her arms sliding over his shoulders, her cheek against his shoulder blade. Holding him in a backwards embrace. “You don’t need to hold onto a dream, Clark. I’ll be here when you come back.”
He let out a shuddering sigh, leaning back into her. “I’m scared, Lois,” he confessed softly.
“I know.”
“I’m not going to make it back.”
Her arms tightened around him. “You *are* going to make it back.”
He pulled free and turned to face her. “You’re not... scared? You’re not scared I’ll fail?”
“No, Clark, I know you can do it.” Her eyes caught his, and her words caused a prickle at the back of his mind. “And I think you’re scared enough for both of us.”
The words flashed through his consciousness, leaving his ears ringing.
‘This will work. It has to.’
He started as her hand brushed his cheek. “You’re going to come back.”
“Last time... it won last time, Lois,” Clark whispered, shaking his head. “It won, and I knew what I was doing then.”
She tilted her head to the side, worrying her bottom lip and watching him. There was something about her face... her eyes... a quiet confidence. Bold faith. Conviction. She believed he’d come back.
Her voice was quiet when she spoke. “I always thought you – the other you – was so invincible. So perfect. There wasn’t anything that scared you. You were *Super*man, but... you’re Clark. Underneath it all, you’re Clark. I thought there wasn’t anything Superman couldn’t do, but when I found out you had to face Nightfall... I was scared. I was really scared. But now...” She paused, drawing in a deep breath. “I’m not scared, Clark. I know you’ll make it back, because you’re so much more than just Superman. You’ve got so much more to live for. Your parents, your friends... me.”
Clark’s heart was beating in his throat. Her faith in him was... her faith in him was what kept him going. Her faith, and his love.
“You beat it once, Clark. You’ll beat it again.”
He couldn’t tear his eyes from hers. He was trapped by their fire. Enchanted by their confidence. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
He’d already decided he was going, but he was just starting to believe that he might make it back.
“C’mon, Kent. I’ve been telling you that since we first met,” she said, smiling and ducking her head.
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered, as if imparting a secret. As if she had no idea how much power she held over him. “Can I kiss you?”
Lois raised her head slowly, catching his eyes with the flicker of a new flame in hers. She leaned forward, stopping, hovering a hair’s breadth away from his lips. He could feel her exhale. Could feel the puff of air when she spoke.
“No,” she whispered, before she crushed her lips against his.
--
He could still feel her in his arms. Could still feel the weight of her cradled against his chest. The press of her forehead against the side of his neck. He’d held her in his arms, sprawled on his couch, all night. All night, feeling her heart beat against his and letting the whisper of her words wash over him until... until she was ingrained in him.
A part of him.
The woman who wasn’t his wife. The woman who could have been... the woman who might be, one day.
Her words were still ringing in his ears.
‘Ask me again some day.’
He’d been drifting to sleep, on the cusp of dreams, when she’d murmured her request. ‘Maybe... one day, you can ask me again.’
His heart had fluttered when he’d realised... and he’d kissed her. Gently. Softly.
Completely.
Clark moved his arms in front of him and sped up. He half expected to see the blue material he hadn’t changed into. He almost missed the feel of the cape flapping against the back of his legs. He’d thought it’d be best if he went in costume, but he hadn’t been able to find a suit. He hadn’t been able to tear himself away from Lois long enough to really look.
The stars around him, crisper and brighter than in his memory, started to blur into continuous lines of light as he pushed himself faster. Faster and faster towards the end of the world.
He hadn’t remembered the biting cold of space. He’d remembered the piercing light of the stars and the feeling of emptiness against his skin, the frictionless glide through the stars, but he’d forgotten how cold it was.
The need for breath burned his lungs and the cold pinched his skin, but he didn’t slow. He didn’t stop. He knew it was in his head. Instead, he pushed himself faster. Through the darkness, past the lights, further from home. He could still taste the salt from her lips...
And then he saw it. A speck. A fragment. A dot on the horizon, growing larger and larger as the distance between them shrank.
Faster.
He couldn’t stop to think. Couldn’t stop. He couldn’t give himself time for the fear to rise up. For the acid to churn in his gut.
Faster!
He hurtled towards it, pushing himself to his limits. His heart was warm with the ghost of her presence, his arms full with the feel of her, his lips stained with the taste of her tears... he pushed himself faster still... until it was all he could see. All he could... and he closed his eyes.
He would beat this. He would win. He would, because he had to.
He knew, even as the lights exploded around him... he’d beat this, because she was waiting for him.
--
The End
--
Thanks for reading, and keep an eye out for the epilogue. With any luck, it’ll be available on the 2006 Fundraiser DVD.
