Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: An Affair To Remember (5/5)

Actually, this is feedback for the whole thing, which I have just read in one sitting.

David, what amazes me is how you can express so much emotion in so few words. The story is beautifully written, too. A joy to read.

In the early parts, I was guessing away like mad. Was this an alt-Clark? Was this our Clark but with the 'wrong' memories?

And I so wanted to strangle Cat!

Yeah. Delightful.

Except for that pesky thing with the epilogue. Now, that's just cruel.

Chris

At last!!!!!

Dave, this has been an amazing ride. I loved this story. This final part was just as beautiful as the others - if not better.

And... /me hides somewhere really safe I don't think an epilogue is needed. Sure, if you write it I'll read it, but you know... the ending is very powerful as it is.

Keep writing!
AnnaBtG.

*sigh*

And that was just lovely.

What a wonderful, wonderful take on it.

It's a good thing I was planning to donate to the fundraiser, because I definitely want to read that epilogue sooner rather than later.

Such a lovely story, David. And your writing style is just amazing. Not a word out of place; every single one perfect and imbued with meaning.

Thank you for this story. I look forward to rereading it in its entirety on the archive.

Dave, I've just been irritating people by detailing how I don't like Clark when I don't like him... And now you give us this beautiful, beautiful tale about Clark, where he is at his most absolutely, completely wonderful.

I've been writing that Clark may not really know what his true self is. And here you show us his true self shining like a beacon in the darkness of the night. Like Nicole pointed out in her comment on part four of your story, he really remembers only two things about himself, but they are the essence of what he is, the unshakable foundation of himself as expressed in two sentences:

1) He loves Lois. 2) He is Superman.

In her wonderful Some Kind of Angel, Chris recently talked about agape, divine love, and phileo, the love between a man and a woman. And here you show us that the essence of Clark is indeed agape and phileo. His love for Lois is phileo, and his need to be Superman to the world is agape. Which means that the essence, the truth and the foundation of Clark is love.

I have been saying that sometimes Clark isn't good enough for Lois. Well, in your story Lois isn't quite good enough for Clark. She should have responded with greater love to this unbelievably honest, needy, vulnerable and utterly loving Clark. I'm not saying that you should have written Lois differently, though, because the fact that her love isn't as all-encompassing and incredibly giving as his, makes his love come through in an even more wonderful light.

There is a chilling starkness to the background of this story. Lois turns down Clark when he asks her to marry him; outer space is so cold; and the ending leaves us hanging, not knowing if Clark will even manage to destroy the asteroid, or if he will survive at all, or if his memory will come through intact if he does, or if Lois will marry him if he makes his way back. Against this stark background Clark's vulnerability becomes even more poignant. The utter generosity of his heart, his willingness to lay down his life for the world in general and for Lois in particular. His warmth against the icy cold of space, his small size against the vastness of the universe. His wonderful love and courage against the indifference of the cosmos. His humble humanity as expressed in his ordinary human clothing - no flashy superhero suit - against the non-human otherness of space. The warmth, the love, the true self of Clark Kent against the uncaring mercilessness of the universe.

And the very real possibility that he may die, and so give up his life for the sake of humanity. And for Lois.

And the realisation that if he does die, it won't have been in vain. Because he will have saved the Earth. Saved humanity. And Lois.

Not even if he fails to stop the asteroid will his sacrifice have been totally in vain. Because this is the human condition: that we are mortal. And nothing we can ever do is more beautiful than this: that we do our very, very best, and take on, with courage and love, and to the very best of our ability, whatever the universe is randomly throwing our way.

The kind of love that shines out of Clark Kent in your story, Dave, is the kind that lights up the universe. I can imagine people being disappointed at the way your story ends. The way I see it, however, this isn't a tale about a man and a woman becoming united and getting to live happily ever after. It is instead a story about a man being filled with the kind of love that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13:7 (damn, if I could only quote the Bible in English!!!). The kind of love that endures everything, believes in everything, hopes for everything, suffers anything. The kind of love that lights a tiny flame of light and life and wields it against the darkness of the cosmos. The love that is immeasurably larger and greater than the tiny body of a man from which it is emanating. And because of that, any epilogue to this story detailing how Lois and Clark get one another - heck, any epilogue to this story at all - can only dim that tiny flame of endless love which your story has evoked, and which lights up the universe.

Fabulous, Dave. Thank you!!!

Ann

I liked this Dave. When Lois said no yet kissed him anyway, that was so her. Great job. I look forward to the Epilogue if you do one. Laura

This was an absolutely beautiful ending to a beautifully written story. The episode "All Shook Up" has oddly enough never really been one of my favourites, maybe because I thought it lacked the fear that Clark should have felt having to face the asteroid a second time. Without his memories, without anything to hold on to, he goes to face what could possibly destroy him. I loved what you did with this-how you outlined how alone and frightened he felt, but also how he KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that whoever he was, whatever memories he did-or didn't-have, he loved Lois and that would see him through anything. It was brilliant and I can't wait to see an epilogue (if there is one), however it really isn't needed....this was a great ending to a great story!

This story was just fabulous and I really enjoyed reading it. I hate that it ended where it did, so please...an epilogue. David, this was well written and I look forward to hearing more from you soon.

wonderful, dave!

i've been waiting for the conclusion to this story for a while - and you certainly did not disappoint!

where do i sign up for a fundraiser CD?

shells

A nice story, David.

In it we get to see the essence of our two leads. Even with his memory gone, Clark is still true to his 'real' self, and the things that are important to him; Lois, and helping people.

We also get to see Lois come to the aid of her friend. While she wasn't the fairy tale wife and lover that Clark had dreamed she was, she was still loyal to her friend and in helping him in his time of need she was able to come to terms with her own feelings.

Overall, a well thought out, compact yet complete story. Looking forward to your next foray into fanfiction.

Tank (who wonders when David will catch the Wendy disease for looooong fics)

I was absolutely *gripped* from beginning to end. All the emotions overflowing that I never would have considered, the realness of it all, the very charge of the entire story. It made me lose my breath - repeatedly. I'm glad I'm still sitting up in my seat! The wait was a little long but it was so, so worth it. An absolutely fantastic story, one of my favourites of all time. I can't wait for the epilogue! Amazing.

Chriscy

I liked this, too. I agree with everything everyone else has already said.

I just have one quibble. I don't understand:

I'm sure it's because I'm dense, but I don't understand why Lois would refuse his proposal like that. I know, she told him to ask her again some day, but she'd already confessed her love for him and accepted his love for her. Not Superman's love, but Clark's love. I just don't get why she'd say 'no.' I could understand "we'll talk about it when - not if - when you get back" but not a flat refusal. And I don't understand why she didn't try to explain it to Clark, because he didn't get it either.

Can someone explain this to me? Or is this just one of those things a dense man will never understand?

Aside from that, I enjoyed the glimpse into Clark's mind, how he remembered his love for Lois before he remembered anything else. I still wonder where the images of marital bliss came from, if they were really just remembered dreams or if there was some H. G. Wells-type stuff going on.

Hmm. Maybe all will be revealed in the sequel, eh?

Good story David!

Jose

Terry wrote
==========
I'm sure it's because I'm dense, but I don't understand why Lois would refuse his proposal like that.
==========
I think it is
Because she has a really bad relationship history, because she thinks his love is just a byproduct of his confusion, because the "Her" that he knows is this nicer "I'm going to die so I should be treating people better" version and she can't believe he loves the "real" her....

And so on and so forth....

*Killer* ending, David! Ugh, I'm just happy as a clam right now! It's rather sickening. :p

JD

Hey, Frame (I hope you don't mind if I address you by your first name), thanks for the response. In this context, her response is consistent with erh character if not logical by my way of thinking. I'm still not sure I understand Lois's reasoning, but that makes as much sense as a lot of the stupid things she did in the series. And since people do things in real life that totally baffle me, why should LC fanfic be any different?

The one thing that has always puzzled me about this episode is this: Why didn't Superman just push Nightfall off course? In any orbital mechanics problem, if you change the velocity or course of one of the objects even slightly, you prevent a collision (or, you can cause one). A slight nudge to Nightfall to reduce its velocity by half a percent and change its course by half a degree, and you have a near-Earth passage instead of death and destruction.

Oh, well, without the impact collision, we wouldn't have had Superman and Lois All Shook Up, now would we?

Again, David, this was an excellent story. I eagerly await both the sequel and any other stories from you. You're good.

I have campaigned long and hard with each author that does an Adapt of this episode, with no success. Yes, it would make more sense to push it off course...unless it is tumbling, which would make it more difficult, but not impossible.

I have an idea, that at this point is some years down the way, about how to overcome the little problem of doing it right and still getting the amnesia thing in. It's just an idea and I might need to borrow Nan's Hybrid Kryptonite from the Dagger series to do it just right.

David,

I loved this story and look forward to nominating it. So send it to the Archive already!!!

James

Already there. In fact, it should be included in the batch going up sometime over this weekend.

LabRat

Terry, you know I agree with you about your assessment of Lois's behaviour in this story. She should not have flatly refused Clark's proposal the way she did. On the other hand, again just like you said, Lois did behave infuriatingly on many occasions in the show, too. Presumably she turned Clark down because she was just too terrified of falling truly in love and having her heart broken all over again. Or perhaps she has been rejecting Clark for so long that this kind of behaviour has just become sort of automatic to her, in the same way that Clark's lies about his secret identity have been repeated so many times that they may have become automatic to him.

I agree with you even more strongly when you say that Clark should just have pushed the asteroid away instead of breaking it up. Changing an asteroid's course is really the only way to get rid of it. If you break it up into smithereens, the only thing that happens is that the mother of all rocky hailstorms will come screaming into the atmosphere of the Earth.

But of course, if Clark had just pushed Nightfall away, we wouldn't have gotten much of a story out of it. And I, for one, am so grateful that we didn't miss out on this story, David!

Ann

David, you already know my opinion of this story - and I absolutely love the way you finished it. I think it's perfect. You've given us hope, but without getting into schmaltz. We know Clark will deal with Nightfall; we know he'll get back to Lois; we know they'll be together. Excellent work! This is on my Kerth list in several places.

The whole smashing the asteroid instead of just shunting it off-course... that's been discussed a lot over the years. I believe that Phil Atcliffe was the first to point out that merely moving it would be a better solution, and I used that myself in one story - Faux Pas, if I remember correctly. I'm sure I'm not the only one who did it. Of course, the simple push makes for a much less angsty story...

Ann and one or two others mention Lois's refusal of Clark's proposal. I think it would have been wrong if she had said yes immediately. This is still only Season 1; they're friends but haven't been that close. Of course, in this story they became close and confessed their love to each other. But Lois is nothing if not honest when it comes to her deepest feelings and intentions, when she needs to be. She knows that she's not ready to commit to marriage to Clark, and she knows that he's not ready too. For all they know, the intensity of their feelings could have been brought on by the situation: the end of the world approaching, Clark's amnesia, spending so much time in close proximity knowing that they don't have long to live. Feelings growing under those circumstances might not be real.

So she can't say yes, because if he succeeds she might end up having to say no when she actually means not yet. I think her response was perfect. She didn't actually say no. She tried instead to work out why he was asking. What did he really want? He wanted security. To know that there was something to come home to - someone who would be waiting for him. He wanted his dream to be reality. Well, she gave him all that. Made sure that he understood that she would be waiting for him. That she believed he'd come back. That she loved him and wanted him to come back. And that one day, when they're both ready, she might say yes to his proposal.

That's the honest response. It's not patronising, it's not offering false hope, it's not agreeing to something she knows in her heart she's not ready to agree to. She's being honest and mature and at the same time giving Clark what he needs to know, to hear, to feel. I think it's just right. I think she's absolutely good enough for him because she loves him enough to give him what he needs instead of what he thinks he wants. So I have to disgree completely with Ann on that point.


Okay, Dave, so what's next from your keyboard?


Wendy

Wendy, thanks for your explanation. It makes sense. Of course, so do the others, at least to a mere male like myself. I think that only David knows the entire truth, and I think we'll have to wait for the explanation from the master.