Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic ROTFL! There's something foul afoot! aka FDK Inside Scoop 7

I just have one thing to say:

I don't think I've laughed quite so hard in a while! My stomach muscles are still a bit sore from reading this *hours* ago.

*decides not to mention that the super chicken is named Clarkie since that might cause problems*

Sara

I've caught up with this one tonight and I have to say...



I'm really enjoying this! Excited for Sunday now!

~NICOLE

Tempus! Good one Timmy. This part was so funny! Fantastic Paul!

I have to apologise, because I did read the last part soon after you posted it but couldn't find the time to reply. (i MADE time to read it though...)

Anyways I'm moving tomorrow so i might not have the internet for awhile But I'll be back as soon as I can. Bye! Gotta finish packing!

A guy with a chicken and kryptonite. You know, it really scares me that Timmy understood it. And those darned CG people should know better about backups. If you don't have disk space, use tape backups!

And silly Tempus. Trix are for kids! Er.. wait. Intertemporal transport devices are not for madmen. That's it. And you'd think they'd learn about those long-winded speeches. *sigh*

Okay, so maybe I didn't notice that Lex went bald in "The Phoenix". It's not so easy to concentrate on little details like that, with all those men in white coats running around all over the place here, and with that nice flourescent greenish bug-eyed young man see-sawing about, munching glowing green chicken and singing "They're coming to take me away, HA HA, they're coming to take me away, HO HO, HEE HEE, HA HA, To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time..." Do you know how hard it is to concentrate with so many distractions going on around you all the time? Particularly when those men in the white coats are looking at me for some reason. I wield my Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy at them, or maybe it is "Restaurant at the End of the Universe" (it is hard to concentrate, particularly on little things like what I'm reading), and I repeat the magic mantra: Harmless. Mostly. Harmless. It's worked so far, I guess.

Ah, but the story is coming along nicely, Paul, Timmy! Having the Enforcer go bust serves those snotty FX people right for thinking you can get everything out of a computer. Me, I remember the good old George Reeves show, man, those were the days. Sometimes I coulda sworn they got old George flying by making him lie down on a glass table and getting a fan going in front of him to make his big red bath towel of a cape start flapping. Ain't no computer crash in the world coulda stopped that kind of flying, believe me.

And who cares about the Enforcer anyway? And who misses Lex, who's off to have his hair grown back, just take it from me! The timely arrival of Doctor Chronian (yay!!!! to that name!!!! ) more than makes up for missing computer animations and absent Lex-boys. (So what if there's more than one of him?) And I just love the George Reeves-style expedient solutions you give us instead:
Yeah, it was so hard to see that it was hardly there at all, was it? Way to go, Timmy! You know why they keep babbling so much in all of Shakespeare's plays? It's because they hardly had any props at all back then, so the actors had to keep telling the audience what they were seeing all the time, when they really weren't seeing anything at all. And that way, they saw what they didn't see. Well, Timmy - or, in this case, probably Paul - if old Will could do it, so can you! Tell us about the craft so we can see it! And tell us a bit more while you are at it:
LOL! The Royal Shakespeare Company is awaiting you, my dear Tempus! The way you said your line, I could just see that pocket time window generator in my mind's eye. Looks like a pocket calculator, with little chicken feathers growing out of it, for some reason.

And there wasn't much of a fight before Superman had defeated Tempus, was there? It was the best the shell-shocked computer guys could come up with, wasn't it? Well, so much the better. I don't mind at all if the violence on Lois and Clark stays G-rated, as long as we get a few R-rated snuggles! (WHAT??? You won't give us any? PAUL!!! TIMMY!!! You two so owe me Superman in a hawaiian shirt now, you know that, don't you?)

Ah, wow, though. It's been such a ride, being middle-aged Ms. Mary Sue in Paul's story. But on Sunday it will all come to an end. And.... I feel nervous, somehow. Don't know why. Something's bugging me. Well, consider... every new episode has had some absolutely crucial element missing. First it was Lois, then it was Clark... or his voice, anyway... then it was the sound, then it was Gotham City and Batman. Then it was Lex and the Enforcer. Now, there's just one episode left, and what can go missing from that one? Could it be.... Could it be.... ME??????

/me runs away, screaming, an endless line of smiling men in white coats running after me, possibly shining just the faintest shade of green, munching feathers and beaks and chicken's feet, oh my ....

Ann

What a fun section. I really liked it. Laura

Sorry, but to avoid suspension of disbelief you might want to change that number, and maybe the reason for losing the data.

Putting on my techie hat for a moment, the typical drive in a new desktop PC these days is 40 or 80 GB. 6 GB isn't going to hold the operating system and software for a serious modern CGI studio, let alone the data, and big drives are now so cheap that nobody doing professional work would let something like that be a limitation on the work they could do.

A RAID assembly of several 256 GB drives would be more like it, and RAID assemblies just don't lose data easily - they're designed so that if one drive fails the others can rebuild the data it contains.

I'd suggest replacing these lines with something like:

"What? Don't they have some kind of ridiculously large drives? Like six hundred gigabytes or something?"

"Yeah, but apparently they accidentally restored the last backup instead of making a new one."

That'd get rid of the data regardless of disk size and complexity, if someone was stupid enough to do it.

A new part, yay! *bouncebouncebounce*

But. Must admit, am simultaneously happy and sad to see this one, because now there's only the eighth and final installment to go!

Still, we'll not dwell on my "Inside Scoop" separation anxiety. Instead, onto FDK!

The production meeting was stellar fun as always. This bit in particular:
Hah! But, oh, poor "Call-me-Daniel" Scardino. He's so easy to dislike, and I just have to sympathize with him if no one else will. When you do away with him and his unfortunate fashion sense, at least give his closetful of Hawaiian shirts a proper Viking funeral? Do him that justice, at least!

And your Tempus had me laughing out loud with this line:
*lurves*

Fantastic, Paul. This has been such a fun read -- thanks for bringing it out of your brain and onto the boards.

Paul! Even without a cross-over, this story is still fantastic. And LOL at Tempus!

Keep it going!! More!!! More!!!!!!!

Just a quick note to respond to Marcus. I'll be back with a real FDK response before I post the last part.

I am quite well aware of the current size of HDDs. This comp is several years old and its 30 gig drive was considered small even then.

The number and reason here were chosen deliberately, partially as a joke.

The thing you're forgetting is that this is a "lost ep." While current comments stand in place of "fan reaction," the characters are all living in a time when the show was on the air. In specific, between Individual Responsibility (original airdate of April 16, 1995) and Whine, Whine, Whine (original airdate of May 14, 1995). Back then, 6 gigs was huge.

Incidentally, that's part of the reason why the crew never refers to any of the comment givers by name (the closest they've come is calling Angelic Editor "Beta," but I just couldn't resist that one).

Anyway, it's easy to miss, but there was some thought put into the decision.

Thanks for taking the time to point it out, though. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the part.

Paul

P.S. General reminder: Since the next part is the last, the comments in this thread are the last ones the crew will be able to respond to.

*Gasp!* Yoouuu already mentioned it sara!! /me bites you

LMAO! On what sara said about the "chicken."

"PSYCHO",Paul... not crazy, I take offense to that!

LMFAO!! Omg, I couldnt breath on that part.

LOL!!! Great part, Paul! I'm kind of happy that I get to see how it ends, and sad.

Rach

Love, love, LOVE Tempus! My son keeps forcing me to watch "The Incredibles", in which the villain has a similar comment: "You caught me monologuing!" Such a classic stupid villain thing to do. I'll be sorry to see the end of this story...perhaps there will be a new lost episode in the future? Susan

Mr. Paul? Mr Hatman? This is Doctor Chickenfreud from Funny Farm. Do you have a moment, sir? I'm calling about a patient of mine, a woman who was admitted here today. An interesting case, most interesting. Unique symptoms. We did a brain scan and found an entire letter imprinted on her cortex. Since she has been somewhat agitated the blood flow in her brain has been variable, causing the letters on the cerebrum to become blurred, but my colleagues and I believe believe we have deciphered the text, which would read somewhat like this:

Inside Scoop is coming to an end. Confusion. Cramps. Striped hat. Need new fix. TimmyPaulLoisClarkMarySueMore! Moremoremoremoremmmo-o-o---

I was informed that you, Mr Paul, could be one of the persons her brain-letter may be referring to. It may be, sir, that you are able to alleviate her symptoms better than our drugs can do, if her cerebral message makes sense to you.

Yes, sir. You too, sir. Good-bye, sir.

Dr. Crypt-o-Nite Chickenfreud, Med. Dr. Prof. of Psych. Iatric Br. Ain't Nuth'n Wong W'me, Esq.

Paul

I've just caught up with the last few parts.

It's fantastic.

Tricia

Well, I was expecting to be asleep right now, but an unexpected low blood sugar put paid to that plan. I'll have to wait a little while for it to stabelize before I can try going to bed.

So, as long as I'm up with nothing better to do, I might as well take care of this. My BR just got back to me, and it's better to post a few hours early than a few hours late, right?

Sorry if I'm not entirely coherent in this response, though. Head is definitely getting ready for sleep.

Sara, sorry about the sore muscles, but hey, exercise is good, right? Glad you enjoyed.

Nicole, glad you caught up. Thanks for posting. And ooo... "pitch perfect," you say? Thanks!

Jenni, I'm honored that you found time to read. Glad you found time to post this time, too. Hope the move went well and that you're enjoying your new digs.

Karen, what can I say? Timmy is very intuitive. lol about Tempus. And yes, time travel is definitely not for kids. Or is that backwards?

Ann, ) *ahem* Sorry about that. It does sound like a most intriguing and unusual case. I'll do my best to help your patient. Might I suggest getting her a Superman plush toy or action figure with a hawaiian shirt? You can pull one off a Ken doll or something... Please let me know how the patient is progressing.

Tricia, welcome back. Thanks for your enthusiasm! Glad to hear you're enjoying it so much.

Okay, I think that should do it for now. Thanks again to everyone who commented!

Part Eight coming right up!

Paul