First off, I know that I'm a little late to have made the midnight dealine for Wendy's birthday, but I always give birthday gifts late.
This little story has a twofold purpose. It is in honor of one of Folcdom's most prolific, and honored writers, and...
It's a nudge to get another Lois and Clark fic out of Wendy.
We all know that Wendy is over playing in the new Dr. Who fandom, and we can't begrudge her that. But many of us miss her words over on this board. Now, Wendy, in the past, hasn't been afraid to put out a challenge when I was in one of my self-imposed retirements, so I feel no shame in foisting this on her even though she is currently not very active here.
Who knows, maybe this will help spark a little L&C interest again?
The High Cost of Having a Life.
A birthday Challenge fic for Wendy
Lois Lane stared at herself in the bathroom mirror and fussed with her hair for the fifth time in the last five minutes. She wanted to look perfect for tonight. It was important. A frown crossed her face. Why was she fussing so? Why was it that tonight was somehow different? After all it was only Clark… again. They'd gone out before, sort of. Why did this date seem more important?
She drew in a deep breath. Yes, she had admitted that this was a date. A real, honest-to-goodness, get dressed up, date. No work talk, no comparing notes on their latest story. This night was just going to be two people spending an evening together to see if there might just be something more to their relationship than being just friends and work partners.
Lois strolled out into the living room and risked a quick glance over toward the door. He'd be there soon. Clark was always punctual, maybe to a fault, but how long would he stay. That was the real question. And that was the real crux of tonight's date.
It had taken a while; but slowly, eventually, Lois had been able to admit that her handsome partner meant more to her than just a good friend. There was no question of Clark's friendship. He was her best friend. The only true best friend she'd ever had, and she cherished that friendship. Lately, though, she'd allowed herself to see Clark as something more. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was kind, and caring. The kind of man any woman would give practically anything to have be interested in her. And make no mistake, she knew Clark was interested.
Even if he never told her, she could see it in the way he'd look at her when he didn't think she knew he was looking. He would always support her no matter if she was right or wrong. He suffered her bad moods and usually was able to cheer her up whatever the reason she was angry or down. And there was the way he treated her, like she was the most important thing in the world to him. Taken together, one would assume that Clark Kent was in love with Lois Lane. There were times when she thought that too… if only.
Lois didn't let her heart out of the fortress she'd built around it often. The few times she had, she had regretted it, and each time she put her bruised heart back she built the walls higher and stronger. It had taken a long time and significant effort on Clark's part to breach those walls, but he had. And now Lois was back at that critical juncture. She wanted to risk letting her heart out once again. She really wanted to this time, but something kept holding her back. That something was Clark. Or, more to the point, Clark's seeming reluctance to commit.
For all that he might say that he loved her, his actions said different. Every time the situation, or the conversation about their relationship, turned serious, Clark would get that 'deer in the headlights' look and make up some lame excuse to run away.
Was it her? Did she have some genetic flaw that drove men away? Clark consistently told her that such thoughts were nonsense, but then he'd run away again. What was she supposed to think?
This was is. Tonight was the last chance test for her and Clark. She had decided that she wanted Clark in her life as more than a friend. That if there was a hope for them as a romantic couple, she was willing to take the plunge. But if he ran away again, it was over. She just couldn't put herself through that kind of heartache again. Better to nip things in the bud now, before she committed herself to a relationship that was doomed to break her heart and destroy a friendship she valued.
Even though she'd been expecting it, the knock on her front door startled her when it finally came. Setting her lips in a firm line, and smoothing the front of her dress with her hands, Lois moved toward the apartment door.
*********************
Clark stood outside Lois' door. He had to clench his hands into fists to keep from wringing them. He couldn't believe how nervous he was. It wasn't like he'd never been to her apartment before. He'd been there many times. He'd even spent the night on her sofa with Lois cradled in his arms before. But for some reason this time felt different. He wasn't sure, but he had the impression that tonight would be critical to any future he and Lois might have as a couple.
Over the last few months things had definitely gotten better between them. It seemed that Lois had finally begun to see him, Clark, as more than just her partner and best friend. They had tentatively begun to explore being together, outside of work concerns, just to be together. But every time it seemed like they were ready to take the next step, something, or more accurately, someone, came between them. Superman.
He had always had to run off at inopportune times to change into Superman to handle some sort of emergency. But lately it was like it happened every time he and Lois were having an important conversation. It was maddening. Lois was certainly noticing it too.
Lois was getting really fed up with his flimsy excuses, and running off all the time. She didn't understand why he was doing it so she thought the reason had to be his fear of commitment. Clark was pretty sure that if he had to run out on her tonight that would be it. Lois had to be at the end of her patience… and he didn't blame her.
Sure, he could tell her the truth about why he had to leave all those times, but he wasn't ready for that yet. He still had to be certain that Lois' feelings for Clark were real, and that her infatuation for Superman had been superseded by her affection for him as Clark. Also, he had to admit that he was just a bit fearful of her reaction. They had known each other for quite some time now and he didn't think she'd take his long time deception too well.
Lois had real issues when it came to trust and what she might see as betrayal of that trust. Would she be able to forgive him for lying to her for so long? Would she, eventually, get over her hurt and anger because she had feelings for Clark… or for Superman? Tonight he might very well get his answer. And that's why tonight, no matter what, Superman was taking the night off. He was determined not to let anything interfere with this date. All his focus tonight was going to be on Lois. The super senses were going to be switched off tonight.
He'd never really tried that before, but he had noticed that on occasion, when he was really involved, really concentrating on something, he didn't seem to notice any other distraction. Tonight that concentration was going to go into this evening and on Lois.
Taking a deep breath, he reached out and knocked.
*****************
Lois held her breath as she undid the chains and pulled open the door. "Hi, Clark." She stepped aside to allow him to enter. He smiled at her.
"Lois, you look amazing."
She blushed. "Thanks… you don't look so bad yourself."
Typical of Clark to pay her a compliment the moment he saw her. It was nice to know that the hours spent on preparing herself hadn't gone unnoticed. She returned his smile. He looked pretty incredible himself. The charcoal suit was his best. It was a recent purchase and probably one of the only ones that he'd actually had tailored to fit. The dark color also set off his complexion well. It was too bad that Clark had to wear glasses. He had nice eyes. They were soft, warm, and very expressive. Right now they were saying that he was enjoying what he was seeing. Still, it was his smile, the smile that always seemed like it was meant for you and you only, that was his best feature. She would literally get goose bumps when he turned that smile on her.
She reached back and grabbed her purse and let him drape her wrap around her shoulders. "So where are you taking me?"
"I have reservations at DiFilio's." He offered his arm, which she took.
"I'm impressed. A reservation at a high class restaurant. Maybe you are planning on sticking around until our dinner is actually served?"
Lois could see that her barb had struck home with Clark and was instantly sorry for what she said. "Look, Clark, I didn't mean…"
"No, it's okay, Lois, I deserved that." He waited while she locked the door behind them. "I know that I've upset you with my needing to run off on occasion, but I promise you that tonight I'm all yours. From now until the end of the evening I'll be at your beck and call. I'll be at your side, hanging on your every word."
Lois rolled her eyes and patted Clark on the shoulder. "That will be a nice change, Clark, but just promise that you won't follow me into the ladies room."
"Darn, I was looking forward to that."
She swatted him on the arm. "Clark!"
He just grinned at her as she pushed the call button on the elevator. She could see that he was definitely in a playful mood tonight. She hoped that meant he could stay focused on the date and not start worrying about an overdue library book, or a late video rental. Lois linked her arm with his as they stepped into the elevator car. She was beginning to really look forward to the next several hours.
***********************
Clark sat back and covered a burp with his hand. Lois laughed as he excused himself. It had been a wonderful evening so far. Lois had been open and animated all night. She shared stories from her high school days with him. He finally found out all the gory details of Lois and Linda King's feud. In turn he shared with her some of his own awkward times in high school.
She had pressed him about his romantic 'past' and he'd been forced to admit his crush on Lana Lang back in Smallville. She'd commiserated with him when he explained how devastated he'd been when she summarily dumped him for a rich kid who'd moved into town just before graduation. The simple small talk between friends had been delightful. The evening was turning out to be magic.
A couple of times Clark thought he might have heard something, but he quickly suppressed his hearing and turned his focus back to Lois. She was going to be his world this night. Nothing was going to spoil this night for them. Especially not Superman.
As for Lois, he'd never seen her laugh so much. She looked like someone who was thoroughly enjoying herself. He was glad. It made him think that maybe she had moved past her obsession with Superman and that Clark might just stand a chance with her. He may live to regret it, but Clark felt he had to take the chance. It was time to put Lois, and this evening to the test.
"So, Lois," Clark began a trifle hesitantly. "Are you glad you are out with me tonight instead of say... Superman?"
Clark knew he'd made a mistake the moment the words slipped out of his mouth. The look on Lois' face said it all. Suddenly the twinkle in her eye disappeared, and her smile dropped and a frown took its place.
"Clark, why'd you have to bring that up? I wish you'd get over this jealousy you have of Superman." Clark opened his mouth, but Lois held up her hand to stop him. "Look, I know that I might have acted like a mooney teenager when Superman first came onto the scene. But then what woman didn't? But it's not like that now. I've known Superman for a couple of years now and I have a great deal of respect for the man, and admiration for the hero. I'd like to consider him a good friend, but I hardly think that I'd qualify as a romantic partner for him."
"Really? Why is that?"
"Because Superman can't afford close relationships." Lois sighed. "It took me a while to realize it, but he has to stay aloof, and distance himself from the people. Even those he would consider his friends... like you and me." Lois took a sip of her wine. "Anyone perceived to be close to Superman could be used against him. We would become a weakness to exploited."
"So you've backed away from your Superman infatuation because you feel it is in his best interest, but you still harbor feelings for him?"
Lois rolled her eyes at Clark's frown. "You really don't get it, do you? Listen, Clark, it wasn't an infatuation. I really thought I was in love with Superman. He seemed to be the ideal man. Not only was he good looking, and heroic, but he was compassionate and caring. He helped people because he could, not because he had to. He was perfect."
"I'm sensing a 'but' here."
Lois finally smiled again. She reached over and took Clark's hand in her own. "Perfection is boring. I realized that I really didn't know who Superman was. Sure, he was good, and a hero, and all that stuff. But I didn't know *who* he was. I didn't know what his favorite color was. I didn't know what he liked to eat, or what his favorite book or movie was. I didn't know anything more than anyone else did. He never let any of us see anything except his public face. The Superman that we all knew wasn't real. He couldn't be."
"Huh?"
"Think about it. Superman has to make tough, life and death decisions every day. He has become an inspiration for everyone to strive to better themselves. He is an ideal. He can't show human faults or weaknesses. He has to be perfect."
Clark was again amazed by the incredible reasoning ability that Lois possessed. "I see what you are saying, but is that fair? Is it fair for us to place Superman on that pedestal?"
"Yes it is. When he is in the suit he has expectations that have to be met, just like a policeman or a doctor does. Now those expectations may not always be met, nobody is really perfect. But, nevertheless, those expectations will always be there. Superman's are just magnified by the addition of his incredible gifts." Lois paused to take a breath. "That's not to say that he has to play at perfection 24/7. What he does with his private time is his own business. If he wants to kick back with a beer and watch a ball game, more power to him. Everyone needs their down time. Not even Superman can be on call all the time. That's too much to ask, even of a Superman."
Clark smiled at the brilliant woman across the table from him. "You seem to have done a lot of thinking about this. Are these revelations new, or have you known them for some time?"
"Let's just say that I've been slowly working this out for a while, but lately someone has forced me to face my conclusions more quickly."
Clark raised his brow. "Really, and just who might that be?"
Lois' grin turned coy. "Well, he has a thing for pasta and I'm pretty sure he likes the color burgundy. And his favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird"."
Clark grinned as he leaned back in his chair. "So what's his favorite movie?"
Lois shook her head. "He hasn't seen it yet."
"He hasn't?"
"No." Lois gave Clark's hand a squeeze. "So, what's playing on the late show at the Rialto tonight?"
********************
Lois stepped off the elevator into the Daily Planet bullpen. A few steps down the ramp and she was at her desk. She still had a smile on her face as she instinctively booted up her computer. It had been a wonderful evening. The dinner had been great, and she and Clark had held hands all through the movie, though she didn't remember exactly which movie they had watched. It had been the best date she'd been on since she could remember.
Clark had gallantly escorted her all the way to her door. It was then that the whole thing had threatened to come crashing down on her. She'd had a great time... with a man... on a date. Lois Lane never had a great time with a man on a date. Suddenly, the old fear came rushing back. Her only thought had been to run and hide. Run away before she could be hurt. But she fought off the urge to slam the door in Clark's face and had asked him in for some coffee instead.
She nearly giggled out loud as she remembered that she never did make any coffee. They'd spent several hours making out like a couple of teenagers in the back seat of a car. She'd fallen asleep on the couch cuddled up against Clark, but had woken up in her own bed. He must have put her there and let himself out early this morning.
The bell announcing the arrival of the elevator dinged and Lois' gaze was drawn to it. The doors parted and Clark stepped out. She saw his gaze immediately seek her out. Their smiles mirrored each other as Clark moved quickly toward Lois.
"Lane, Kent, in my office."
Lois shot Clark a look of confusion. He just shrugged his shoulders. Together they marched into their Editor Perry White's office. "What's up, Chief?" Lois asked.
"Sit down kids. We had an unfortunate incident last night. Happened right outside of the Planet building. I'm going to want you two to look into it."
"What happened?" Lois noticed what seemed like a sudden look of guilt on Clark's face.
Perry shook his head. "Terrible thing. You know that new gal in research, Monica Pearson?"
Lois nodded. "Yeah, I met her a couple of days ago. Seems like a nice kid. She's working to earn tuition money for next semester."
"Not any more. She was mugged right out front last night. Monica stayed late to do some last minute research for Eduardo. Joe said she signed out at 2:26 this morning. Apparently she was jumped upon leaving the building and dragged into the alley. She was badly beaten and tossed into a dumpster. Her purse had been taken. She probably didn't have more than twenty bucks on her. Henderson said it looked like the poor girl put up quite a fight, but in the end she was too weak to climb out of the dumpster. She bled to death."
Lois was horrified. "That's awful, Chief. You can bet that Clark and I will find the animals who did this and have them thrown in a cage where they belong. Won't we Clark... Clark?"
Clark was gone. Lois looked around quickly and was just in time to see Clark hurry into one of the conference rooms and slam the door shut behind him. She shot Perry a quizzical look. He shrugged.
Following Clark, Lois opened the door to the conference room and stepped inside. She closed the door. Clark was sitting on a chair in the corner, his head down. His fists were clenched so tightly that his hands were white.
"Clark! What is it?" Lois came up beside him and knelt down so she could look up into his face. The devastation she saw there scared her.
When he finally raised his eyes to face her, tears were sliding down his cheek. "It's too high. I thought I could have a normal life, but the price is too high."
Lois was totally confused. "Clark, what are you talking about?"
"She's dead, and it's my fault."
"Dead? Do you mean Monica? Yes, it's a terrible thing, but how is it your fault?"
"I should have been there. I should have heard her cries for help, but I didn't."
Lois was getting more confused, and more scared as each moment passed. Clark seemed inconsolable. "Clark you're not making sense."
"You don't understand. I thought I could have a life. Have what other people have. But I can't. That poor girl died because I wanted to spend time with you."
Lois felt a chill run through her body. What was Clark babbling about? She took his hands in hers. "Clark I don't understand. What does our date have to do with Monica's mugging?"
Clark stood and pulled his hands away. "Don't you see? I thought I could be like other people. I thought that I could have a separate, private life. But I can't. While we were *enjoying* ourselves on your couch Monica was being beaten to death, and I never heard her. I never heard her at all." Clark reached out and stroked Lois' cheek in that so familiar way. "I'm sorry, Lois. I do love you, but I can't afford the price. It's just too high."
Clark dropped his hand and swiftly moved to the room's door. He turned back and gave Lois one last look, then left.
Lois was stunned. She unconsciously sat in one of the chairs as she stared at the door Clark had just exited from. Her mind was churning furiously as it tried to sort out everything that had just happened in front of her. Suddenly, the dice stopped tumbling, and the wheels stopped spinning. It was like the puzzle which had eluded you for so long because there was that one piece missing. Once you had that piece, once you had that clue, it all fell into place. The running off under lame excuses just before Superman was needed somewhere. The mysterious exclusives that he always managed to get by just happening to bump into Superman. It was so simple, so obvious.
"Omigod," Lois whispered as she stood, tears coming to her eyes. Clark was... Superman.
TAKE IT AWAY, WENDY... Oh, and Happy Birthday.
Tank
