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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi,
I wasn't quite sure how to do this. I did consider editing the fdk folder for Chapter 3-a and combining both parts. However, I did want to say something.
Thank you so very much to those who have said such wonderful things about this story.
I know it is a tense and very sad story, and to tell the truth, I was beginning to wonder if it were too heavy and if I should stop posting on the boards.
I still promise you a lighter time ahead and an ending where Lois, Clark and their children will be together.
I do understand that the emotional passages of this story would touch readers more than the detailed action parts, but the action sections are needed to drive the story forward. So I'm hoping that you will stay with me.
Again, please let me know your verdict and if you want Chapter 4, which will show up, hopefully, on schedule next weekend.
Yours Jenni
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Yuck! This was borderline too ghastly and grisly for me. That thing about the amputation of Clark's finger... well, it reminds me of Tolkien's Ring trilogy and its extremely tortured hero, the nine-fingered Frodo. Though the loss of a finger made more sense in Frodo's case, not that I'm saying it doesn't make any sense here.... Guess that means that Clark is never going to be Superman any more. How can he show off his mutilated hand as Superman and then let everybody see the same hand extend from Clark Kent's shirt sleeve?
But.... You have started wondering if this story is too heavy for these boards, and if you should perhaps stop posting it here? Jenni, honestly, this is the nineteenth of February, not All Fool's Day! Save your jokes for April the first. You didn't seriously think we'd stop reading what you're posting here just because of this chapter, did you? Okay, your story is very dark and sad, but it is also very respectful, very compassionate and empathic. And bad things happen, we all know that.... Why shouldn't they ever happen to Superman? I have no principal objections to that at all, as long as your story does indeed end moderately happily, and you have just promised us that it will. So keep posting, Jenni, because I will be eagerly looking forward to the upcoming parts, I promise you!
Ann
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794 |
I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221 |
Jenni, don't even think about not posting the rest of your story! You've had me gripped — absolutely *gripped* — with each installment. This one was admittedly painful to read, especially when Clark's finger was severed, but don't take that as a detriment! Your storytelling is incredible as always and such beautiful writing: Strangely, he felt no fear as he stared into the barrel of the gun, held so near his face. His existence had been a living death for a long time now... it mattered little that this should be the end. If he had one regret, it was that he'd never discover the true identity of his dream woman. And here: Superman's breathing became laboured as if each single breath was dredged up from the very depth's of his soul. Thankfully, his eyes remained closed, though at this point he was probably still semi-conscious. A gentle smile turned up the corners of his lips, transforming the haggard look of his face.
The others had never seen him smile before during his incarceration, and the knowledge broke Adrienne's heart. Here was a man who deserved to smile at life. She prayed that in this moment he had found a safe haven... one that brought him some happiness... if it were fleeting. So poignant, so moving. The description of his face, and Adrienne's reaction when she realized she'd never seen him smile just got me right *there.* (And just one tiny edit note -- you don't need the apostrophe in "depth's"). Honestly, Jenni, I'm at a loss for words. I can't wait to read what you've come up with next!
~ Crystal
"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Jenni I've just read part A and B. They're excellent.  Please keep posting this on the boards. I can't wait to see what happens next.  Tricia 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 19
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 19 |
Hi, Jenni,
I'm finally getting to respond to Chapter 3b. The other responses gave the essence of my feelings about this whole story. You must do an intense amount of research. I think you really must have been Dr. Klein's Labrat!
The taking of the finger seems a necessary evil. There needed to be proof of Superman's demise and a souvenir for the serial killer (I watch too much CSI). Now, what spirals through my mind throughout the day is, "How is Jenni going to handle the situation when Clark and Suprman are both back in Metropolis and both have missing fingers?" I know you'll make it come out just fine and believable -- well for those of us who suspend judgment of reality and who believe in Santa Claus and Superman.
Plea: Don't make this too long. I hate to have to wait for the next installment. But, then, if you cut it too short, what will I read until you do another one? Sigh!
Marge
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6 |
This story just gets more and more powerful by the second. It is most definitely NOT too heavy for the boards...at least I don't think so. I think it's an incredible emotional ride and I can't wait to see what else you have in store. Can't wait for more!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Oh, Jenni, keep it coming. This is good stuff. This MBS needs the light fluffy stuff, the long angsty stuff, and the intense painful stuff, too. This may be a dark story, but you can't eat cookies and cotton candy all the time! Even Lois would eat ice cream and cry while watching Ivory Towers. Now there was some angst!
And concerning what a previous poster said about cutting it too short? You've already done that with Clark's finger. Let's have a lengthy, meaty part next time.
(Oops! Sorry about that last pun.)
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: May 2005
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Dec 2004
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Like Lois did on occasion, I was worried that I'd lost my edge. Jenni, if losing your edge means putting your readers through complete and total agony as we sit on the edges of our seats because your writing has completely drawn us into the story and has us utterly involved, waiting for the next wonderful installment - then yes, you've completely lost your edge!  PLEASE don't stop posting! I just was able to catch up with this one again, and it has me engrossed - and clearly I'm not alone in that.  You have to understand that passages like this have me biting my nails practically (I say 'practically' because I am actually concentrating really hard these days on not doing that; but I would be if it weren't for these efforts ) “Just what poison did you mix with the kryptonite?”
“I don't think you really want to know. I mixed up my own concoction; something similar to the lethal injections used in the United States. The green K is just to make sure it takes effect on his alien physiology.”
The commentary was for Hyesan's benefit, though the latter was embellishment; without his powers, Superman reacted to drugs pretty similarly to a human. Since the General had kept a very close eye on the experiments over this past year, Stephan was pretty sure the top soldier would be very aware of all the medical details regarding his poor victim.
In truth, there was only a very minute quantity of kryptonite in the syringe, just enough to cause a reaction from the superhero, but Stephen had used a very powerful sedative, plus nerve and muscle relaxants. After all, it had to appear on camera that Superman had died. This is just so awful, so sad... so *good*!!!! And this is heartbreaking... Here was a man who deserved to smile at life. She prayed that in this moment he had found a safe haven... one that brought him some happiness... if it were fleeting. I really like how you're developing her character, but also how you're giving us a window into Clark, even though we're not in his POV. I can guess, anyway, at his happy thought, his safe haven...  The painful breathing stuttered and the body on the table gave one last convulsive jerk as the cocktail of drugs caused the nerve-endings to freeze - - the smile slowly faded, and yet a faint trace of peace lingered on Superman's face. Stephan placed his fingertips to the superhero's neck, searching for a pulse, while his fellow conspirators waited anxiously. They'd trusted the immunologist's expertise, yet they'd both known the very thin tightrope he'd been treading - - Adrienne more than Teo.
“He's dead,” Stephan stated baldy. The finger thing kind of grossed me out too, I have to say. But I am extremely interested in how you will resolve all of this. And like Ann said, why shouldn't bad things happen to Superman? Please, more soon! I could start biting my fingernails if you don't post soon - you don't want me to do that, right????  NICOLE
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi, Once again I'd like to thank you all for sticking with this story, even if a particular part made some of you feel very uncomfortable. To tell the truth, I felt a bit upset when I wrote it, but it was one of those occasions when my muse refused to take no for an answer. I'd also like to say I'm grateful for your encouragement to continue posting this story. When I put up the last chapter and read it through, it did ocur to me that some readers might be distressed. So I very much appreciate that you're willing to stay with the story, and Clark's situation does improve. I should have replied to this fdk earlier, but real life has been a bit of a pain for me this week. Yours Jenni
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my.... damm i don't know what else to type
