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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
This is a great first fic, Squirky. You portray Lois and Clark's longing, need, fear and uncertainty so beautifully. I love this: Why Clark, then? Why tonight, of all nights, did she allow herself to escape to his place, knowing that he'd take her in under his wing? Because, she realized abruptly, she enjoyed his protectiveness. Not that Clark would ever know, of course. She couldn't have him knowing that he held any kind of power over her. Except, of course, the magic he was currently working on her tired muscles.
"Clark, stop that. I can feel that you are tired." She swatted his hands away from her; she couldn't keep her distance from him when he was so close, permeating her senses. Trying to avoid the thoughts that invaded her mind like Huns destined for China, Lois stood up, suddenly overcome by his presence, and fled to the window, trying to avoid looking at him. And I love this: Had she really just said that? That she needed him? Or was is a figment of his overactive imagination? No, it couldn't be, he ratinalized, because he could still feel the prickle of movement that her fingers traced on his arm.
Dumbfounded, he repeated, "You - you need me?" He watched as she squirmed away from his intense scrutiny and again faced the windows of the balcony. The patch of skin that had just been released from her touch felt cold. He crossed his arms across his chest, suddenly self-conscious and unsure. Could it be that she needed him for more than just protection? Could he dare to hope? (Tiny edit: Or was it a figment of...) Ah, what a romantic setup. I love it! I'm so looking forward to part two of this. And I'm certainly looking forward to many more fics from you, Squirky!  Ann
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 435
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 435 |
Don't have much time to post feedback as I have to get ready for work, but I just have to say that I *loved* this first part. Can't wait to read part two!! 
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." Chris Reeve
"Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right." Peter Parker
DON'T DOUBT THE ROUTH
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 346
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 346 |
Ooh! I know what song this is! If other people want to guess, I won't spoil it, but you can find the lyrics here . And Squirky, this is lovely. I wouldn't have thought to apply this song to L&C, but it fits really well. Clark is trying to be there for her without scaring her away, and Lois is trying so hard to get used to the idea that he cares about her... Just lovely  Great job for a first fic!
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221 |
Squirky, this is a wonderful first fic! I know Ann quoted this earlier, but it was just such perfect characterization and so well-written, I had to post it again: Why Clark, then? Why tonight, of all nights, did she allow herself to escape to his place, knowing that he'd take her in under his wing? Because, she realized abruptly, she enjoyed his protectiveness. Not that Clark would ever know, of course. She couldn't have him knowing that he held any kind of power over her. Except, of course, the magic he was currently working on her tired muscles. Lovely. Can't wait to read the second part!
~ Crystal
"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Evil I say...EVIL to stop here! This has a great start and I cannot wait for more! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 85
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 85 |
Thanks to you all for the wonderful and enlightening comments! I'm sure I'll get around to posting the second part soon - with any luck, by the end of this week. Again, I really appreciate the encouraging things everyone has said!  Have a great day!
I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6 |
Excellent beginning and I can't wait to see more of this!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Like it. Where is the rest? MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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