Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - The Forgotten - Chapter 5

Hi,

Again, I'd love to know your opinion of this section.

I hope this makes some facts a little more clear.

Yours Jenni

It's a great chapter, Jenni, and I was so relieved to see Superman escape. I had really been worried about his reaction to discovering that he had lost a finger, and I must say I love the way you handled that. First, Superman did not get furious or shocked, but listened patiently to the doctors' explanation. I was really glad that you made Stephan and Adrienne - and Teo - tell Superman the truth, too. But I must say that this passage about Superman's reaction to the doctors' explanation just made the entire chapter for me, and I completely, totally love it:
Superman, or the man without a past, is half-remembering something about himself and a beloved woman who used to finish off each other's sentences. The fact that a male and a female doctor's way of speaking together should somehow remind Superman of himself and Lois is so beautiful, Jenni, that it almost brought tears to my eyes.

Then there is the kiss that Adrienne gives Superman before he leaves them. It too reminds him of something:
The way you write this, so delicately and yet so charged with emotion, is wonderful.

Another little snippet out of your story that has lodged itself in my mind is how you show us Superman waking up from his induced coma:
This is so vivid, so full of an almost electrical tension. This man is Superman... or he used to be. People have tried to kill him, and his rescuers have cut off one of his fingers.... How will he react? Will he lash out in fury, and will that fury somehow bring back his superpowers to him, so that he may hurt or kill those who, for such a long time, took part in torturing him? No wonder Adrienne and Stephan draw back in fear. But Teo, who knows Superman better than the doctors, knows that even though Superman is a giant among men and potentially supremely dangerous, no character trait defines him better than his gentleness.

I absolutely love the way you show us Teo in this chapter, particularly the way he saves Superman when the former superhero is about to drown in the river. Generally, though, your portrait of all three of Superman's rescuers is beautiful, and I love the closing paragraph:
They were better people because of their choice to save Superman. Could there ever be a more perfect, more beautiful way of summing up the significance of what these three people had done not only for Superman, but for themselves?

But as for Superman, he still doesn't know that he is, or at least used to be, the Man of Steel. Since I don't speak French, I didn't understand at first the significance of the name that Adrienne gave him. Letour. L'etourdi... without memory. How poignantly fitting. We are told that Superman used to speak many languages. If his French comes back to him after a time, he may figure out that "Letour" just defines him as an amnesiac, and that he needs to find out more about himself.

But to think... he is left completely, totally alone in a huge country he doesn't know well, and whose Korea-bordering parts he may never have visited. It seems certain that he doesn't know anyone there, and he may not speak the language there at all. He is weak, sick, without memory and totally alone. What an unbelievably bleak, heart-rending prospect. All he really has got is a shadow of a memory of a woman.... Please let that memory sustain him, Jenni.

Ann

Jenni-

I was sooo glad to see this today. This chapter explains so much that we needed. Smooth writing. You take us right there with your descriptions of the hills, the water. I could even feel the cold, icy water, the pain. The emptiness he feels right now is palpable.

I'll admit I've been betaing this story. Jenni, this may top your other excellent stories! LaurieD

Thanks for another wonderfully moving installment, Jenni — as your story evolves, it keeps drawing me in more and more.

Like Ann, I was so relieved to see Clark escape. Your description of his confusion and groggy state in the Jeep is fantastic, and puts us right in his head. This, in particular, I absolutely loved:
That's the Clark, the hero, we know and love. He doesn't even know himself right now, but his instinctual need to help is still there — that unshakable foundation gives me so much hope that he'll be all right in the end; this journey of self-discovery might be a long and painful process, but he'll eventually find his way back to Lois, his children, and his former life.

And Jenni, you broke my heart with these three lines:
How heart-rending, how poignant — Clark is missing one of the most essential parts of identity, something we take for granted each day. He's asking such a simple, but all-important question, and at that point, I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him he's Clark Kent, a reporter from The Daily Planet in Metropolis! But Adrienne forces herself to call him "Letour," and my heart broke for both of them.

And the way you ended this section was perfect — such gorgeous writing:
I love how you've put that so eloquently — how the trio of (belated) rescuers borrowed some of Superman's inherent strength and goodness, and are now better for the choice. Beautiful.

Again, thanks for sharing this story on the boards, Jenni; can't wait to read the next part!

Hi,

Great part.

More ASAP, please.

MAF

Sniff... sniff...

Andreia

I'm still following this, Jenni. It's very good, but I guess I'm hanging on for the really good bit - ie, when Clark makes it back home. Right now, it feels very desolate and there seems such a long way to go... Poor Clark

Yvonne

Remember that Janik said he'd saved the file containing Superman's DNA, Onaleia. That would only be a good idea if Hyesan were given the finger of Superman. If he suspected deceit, he could check the DNA and find that they match. That's what I figured.
LaurieD

This was another amazing installment of this story. I really love these original characters that you have created, and the bond they share with one another is so well done. Superman's journey until now has been hellish and my guess is it won't get much better until his memory returns and he finds his family but it's such a wonderfully written journey to read! Keep up the good work.

Beautifully written, as usual, Jenni. It touched my heart without being sappy--not melodramatic/true romance type story. The previous posters sent my feelings and did so very, very well. I'm not so much waiting for his reunion with Lois as I am the story of how he gets home.

This is a really different story - and I mean that in a good way. Something not at all done before and superbly written. The pacing is perfect and allows readers to feel the full gamut of emotions as this unfolds - making the story really hit home.

I expect there will be a happy ending insofar as Clark finally getting back to Lois and his family.

But seeds are being laid for some tragedy too.

Clark/Superman has visibly aged in the year he's been captive - despite Superman's slow aging proces. That means the embedded kryptonite and all the exposure to experimental drugs has done cellualr level damage to him. Something even the sun can't "fix" I suspect - one of Superman's powers is not de-aging.

The embedded K in his brain. Has it caused permanent brain damage - memory loss or maybe jusy the destruction of those cells that gave Superman a super-brain - reading papers in seconds and such.

Same too the general physicl effets. A few hours of exposure to K can remove his powers for days. A years exposure even at low doses - guess I'm getting at in the "real" world I can see Clark coming back but Superman is "dead" - those physical attributes that gave him his powers at the cellular level would likley be permanently destroyed.

Makes the story poignant or potentially so. Clark may never even remember who he was but, even if he does, it seems plausible the part of his cell structure that made him a superman can't be physically brought back to life. Maybe that was a hint when Arienne said Superman must remain dead to the world.

Guess we'll see. This is really a special, special story. Thank you.

hi jenni,

Well the debate here seems to be hot! i am only concerned about how he will keep histwo identities when he comes back to himself.a missing finger would give away everything.

i also dont know why you are saying labrats are treated badly... we have one around that never complained

Letour seems a nice name.. i thought it came from the word in french the journey.. but maybe i am going too far.

enjoying so far... see ya soon!

MDL

Hi everyone,

I can only say that I'm completely blown away by the great fdk. You are really inspiring me, but also scaring me a bit.

Will I be able to live up to your expectations? I suppose only time will tell, and I will certainly try.

MDL, I never thought of the name Letour meaning journey, but you are right... so it has a doubly apt meaning.

Yours Jenni