Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Comments: Nocturne 1/?

Let me know what you think! (I'd say this was my first musical title, but Duet was really the first.)

I'm going to try to make this my first mid-length story ever. It all depends on how it goes. If you have any advice, let me know!


Edited by Admin to include part no. in header.

I liked the writing very much.

About the plot, although most things were cleared up by the end of the story, there were things that still have me confused. I think continuing it and explaining them would be a very good idea.

Keep up the good work!
AnnaBtG.

Highly intriguing, Shayne! I've never been a fan of making any of the principal characters President, but I'll go with the flow for now, because I like the rest of the premise, and if she's Mrs Luthor, then I can buy the President thing a little more easily.

More!

Yvonne

You definitely caught my attention with this one, Shayne. It exudes with the promise of something different. Post again soon!!!

I'm very intrigued to where this story may lead. From what I could gather, the turning point was somewhere around the first Nightfall, maybe Lois accepting Luthor's proposal to be his "companion" in his bunker.

But that's actually beside the point now. You've started this story with some serious wham's, Clark's parents potentially dead, Lois married Lex Luthor, Lex Luthor president. Or former president? I don't know the proper way to address the president's wife but is it really "madame president"?

You've got 10 years of history to tell, not only to Clark but also to lots of faithful readers out there So far this beginning was amazing, though a bit darker than I was in the mood for. Are you posting this on schedule or is it still a WIP?

Yvonne beat me to 'intriguing,' but that was my first thought as well.

I understand that the secret identity has been blown, and that Lois probably had something to do with it. I am seriously worried about the Kents. I'm *sincerely* hoping Lois' reaction to Clark's need to call his parents is only in response to her knowledge of the loss of his secret identity, and not her knowledge of the loss of his parents.

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for more backstory. What you've given us already promises to be a very riveting and emotional experience. I'm looking forward to reading the rest.

What a great tease! You've already drawn me in, waiting impatiently for more! Susan

This is haunting, beautiful and somehow deeply unsettling, Shayne. It is hard to shake the feeling that Lois is responsible for many horrible things that have happened to Clark. She's Madame President - well, that's great - but she is also Mrs Luthor? Got to tell you that the single thing I hated the most about the ABC TV series was the fact that it told us that Lois was ready to marry Luthor.

And something extremely bad seems to have happened to Clark's parents. And it would seem that Clark himself has been outed. And Lois tells Clark that nobody has heard of Superman since he stopped the first Nightfall asteroid many years ago? And now she is going to tell the world that after stopping the second asteroid, Superman is still missing? And she is letting two black-clad men (suggestive color, that) stand guard over the more or less unconcscious Clark, and one of the guards is carrying Kryptonite?

But... at least she seems to feel very bad about the things she has done. Does she, I wonder, somehow still love Clark?

Totally intriguing, like other people have already pointed out, but also very frightening. Please don't let Lois keep on betraying Clark. Please let her come through for him!!!

Ann

Interesting assumption, Bettina. What makes you think Mrs Luthor isn't the actual President?

Yvonne

It seems pretty obvious to me that Lois is the President, not Lex.

"Madam President" (no 'e' at the end) would be the correct way to address a female President. The First Lady or First Gentleman is addressed with his or her name, e.g. "Mrs. Bush."

In regard to this, I have one minor quibble (if Lois is indeed the President): an assistant would in all likelihood not use the President's name when speaking to him or her, only "Mr. President" or "Madam President" (or, alternatively, "sir" and "ma'am", respectively). I realize you wanted to build in the information about her being Mrs. Luthor, but I thought I'd let you know.

Oh, I can tell already that this is one of those "different direction" stories that some people aren't going to like. Personally, I think it's both brave and bold of any author to travel down this path. It requires courage and determination and a lot of imagination, and this one looks like a great story so far. There are so many ways this could go, and so many possible explanations of the "Mrs. Luthor" and "Madam President" titles.

I eagerly await the next installment. I really like Lois's determination to be there for him this time. Makes me really wonder what happened back then. I'm certain it will be fun finding out.

For example the simple fact that Lex Luthor is a power-hungry being and would not stand for his wife being in a more powerful position than himself. But this assumption is based on everything I've seen on TV and also a bit on how Lex Luthor was characterized in several fanfics (which tend to agree on this point though). If Lois really is President with Lex still being her husband, the narration of past events will be more important that I've previously thought.

There'd have to be further questions - why is Lois Luthor the President and not Lex? Is Lex dead already? Why can the President be left alone with Clark/Superman but not have enough power to order security not carrying any Kryptonite?

Ultimately, all this will be revealed much later in the story and I feel little of this is important right now (well, except for a clarification of who's the President and what Lois has done to Clark).

Very fascinating. You definitely have me hooked, and curious about many things. Excellent set-up, Shayne. I look forward to reading more.

Well I am hooked! Can't wait to see what's going on.

Jackie

Omg, this is beautiful...bittersweet even. Poor confused Clark. Please let them find each other. And Lois...president?

Hi,

Interesting start.