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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
So what do you think so far? I'm flattered and pleased at the response to this story. Here's the third chapter in three days. Let me know what you think!
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111 |
"Third chapter in 3 days": Hoorah!
"Homeworld Security": uh-oh. Sounds like the New Kryptonians created some serious problems.
More questions to keep the readers captivated. Very good. Good to see Lois sticking to her convictions. Hope to see Clark recover from his illness. Keep up the good work.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
Ever so thrilled to see another chapter of this! Beautiful imagery at the beginning of the arrival of the fragments and the national reaction. And then my heart skipped a beat with the news of Clark's escape. He’d become Superman for a reason, and it wasn’t for glory. It wasn’t for power. It was to make a difference, to leave the world better than what he’d found it. Very powerful. *nod* I was intrigued by the reference to a war with the NKers, and the fact that Clark's own numbers fell, indicating that people had reason to think he sided with them. Interesting. Still very much captivated by this story and eager to learn more.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
This is great! Can't wait for the next part!
Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Again another great chapter. Keep it coming. I could almost see the meteor shower. 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
The war? The old rumors? Something about Superman's approval rating? Wow! This is really good! I like that you're introducing all these little bits in each chapter and teasing us so cruelly.  I don't usually drop in icons, but you deserve this one. I eagerly await the next bombshell - er, chapter in this narrative. Can't wait for Clark to remember why he and Lois aren't friends any more. Yes, Lois told him part of it, but will he relive all the pain and anguish when he figures out who she married? Are there children? And is Homeworld Security really a legacy of the New Kryptonians, or left over from a previous paranoid resident of the White House?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 192
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 192 |
As amazing as before, you continued revealing bits and pieces of a greater story. I think that you're doing a fantastic job of keeping your readers interested by starting this story with chapters that opens more questions than answers are given. I just wonder how long you will use this tactic 
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?!  Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Wow! This is fantastic! This reference to a war, the strong hints that Superman was thought to side with the enemy (which could realistically only be the New Kryptonians), and the way Homeworld Security treated Clark as if he was really a terrible threat to the Earth.... All of this, after you have just shown us how Clark first shattered a meteorite made of Kryptonite, then exerted himself to the point of irreparably breaking himself while saving thousands, possibly millions of people. Wow. I'll just end this with two quotes: He'd become Superman for a reason, and it wasn't for glory. It wasn't for power. It was to make a difference, to leave the world better than what he'd found it. She wondered, not for the first time, why she'd ever wanted the job.
Oh. Right. She'd wanted to make a difference. Brilliant, Shayne. Can't wait to read more of this! Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi Shayne, This is a very intriguing story, but I'd really like more information. You have us hooked, but this reader would like to know a little more of how Lois and Clark got to this very sad place. Yours Jenni
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
You know... we're not going to complain if you keep posting a chapter per day Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
At the risk of repeating myself, I'm still intrigued.  I like being drip-fed the clues to the past and the present and, after all, it's not always that hard to join the dots. Or, at least, to *think* you've joined the dots. Keep posting! Yvonne
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Ditto the above.
more soon please. need more lines and less dots...
James
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89 |
Shayne- I generally don't read stories till they're finished and on the archive. Look what you have done to me! I'm hooked. This is very good. You've given our characted yet a new twist. Keep writing and posting.
LaurieD
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221 |
Shayne, this is fantastic. Clearly, judging from the feedback, you've got us all hooked! And such great writing. I know this has already been quoted, but it's too good, too powerful, too perfectly *Clark* to dismiss: He’d become Superman for a reason, and it wasn’t for glory. It wasn’t for power. It was to make a difference, to leave the world better than what he’d found it. Thanks for sharing this with us, Shayne; can't wait to read your next chapter.
~ Crystal
"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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