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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
I'm glad you liked the previous chapters. Let me know if it's getting too dreary. 
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
Not too dreary for me; I think the fact that Lois is fighting back provides hope. And then there's a line like this: Clark suspected that the free donuts in the staff room kept calling Ed’s name. which made me smile. Still very fascinating, Shayne. If you keep up these daily postings, you'll make me a very, very happy girl indeed. Thank you.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I really shouldn't comment when I have so little time to do it, but this is still so wonderful. The way you talk about Lois coming to see Clark at night, and their wordless togetherness. And then, those frightening hints at what it is the world is accusing Clark of, and what that war implied. Killing Clark wouldn't be homicide, because he isn't human.... Well, if you read old Swedish county laws from the 13th century, they'll tell you that it's much less serious to kill an out-of-county person than to kill one of your fellow "county-men", so to speak. And some people were so worthless that killing them wasn't really considered a crime.... Ah, Shayne. The way we define each other. The way we debase each other's humanity. Or, in Clark's case, the way we - or the people in your story - take his good deeds for granted, and still think he is so much less than themselves, because he isn't strictly human, either in a DNA or in a hailing-back-to-Adam sort of way.
Please go on writing. Your story is awesome and haunting.
Ann
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
More great hints at this alternate universe in this part. Your writing made me really feel the tension in the scenes. This could turn into an epic-length story to fully explore the world you've set up. One minor thing caught my attention, though: but the only shows on television were endless rounds of soap operas, Judge Judy and infomercials. I've seen enough bad tv to know exactly who Judge Judy is. But reading her name pulled me out of the story for a second because I've been reading your story as alt-universe, possibly set at any number of points in time. Judge Judy is from a very specific place and time. You might consider making a more general referrence if you believe you can capture the same feeling or idea from it. Keep this story coming - I love the frequent posting schedule!  Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
You know... I'm curious about what happened in this world  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111 |
wow! there's a LOT of potential here, and you are doing an awesome job with it. keep up the good work.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
I see your yarn spinning is still working...
Looking forward to more.
James
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Wow. This just gets better as it goes along. It's dark and chilling and scary and it's not unlike what Stephen King might write if he were an L&C fanfic author.
I'm ready to find out what happened between the present time and Lois's marriage to Luthor. There's a whole, whole lot here that hasn't been touched on yet, and when Clark remembers (assuming that he does remember it all) he's going to have a reaction of some kind, and I'd be surprised if it was a controlled one.
Trask as a hero? The prophet of doom and alien invasion? Frightening, truly frightening. This is dark and gloomy and if Wendy's reading this her fandom has more angst on its plate than it can chew. Keep it up. I want to know more and I want it as soon as it's ready! Straight from the oven (or in this case the word processor).
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
Very intriguing. I like it!
I've always been of the opinion that one would not be so quick to "get over' the invasion. That Superman would be viewed quite differently after the invasion, so I really appreciate your exploration of that theme.
Keep it coming!
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
You're still got my attention. Can't wait to find out more of what's going on.
Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Lois' dilemma -- very accurately depicted...
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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