Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Comments: Nocturne (5/?)

Well, let me know what you think!

Got to say, Shayne, that I look forward to reading the next chapter of this melancholy story every time I log on. It makes me wonder just how badly Clark was injured, and if it was all due to the meteor fragments. And I like the "mature" war correspondent Jimmy who still shows off for women and gets hurt doing it.

So Lois had to send people to their deaths? What was their mission? Was it national security or Superman stuff? Will she share it with Clark? Is she allowed to? (I'd guess 'no' on that last one.) And what will become of a non-super Superman? Can Lois afford to indulge her personal needs when the country (and by extension, the entire world) needs a strong leader in the rebuilt (I hope!) White House? And how in the world did Lex Luthor get to be President??? Yech!

This is good stuff. Definitely not WAFFy or syrupy, but still very good stuff. Keep it coming!

This is hauntingly melancholy and brilliant as ever, Shayne. The war is still going on? I guess I was dense, but I didn't quite get that before. Are the Kryptonians still there? Are they still attacking humanity? Somehow that makes it easier to understand that so many people hate Clark so much. But still... the nurses hate him so much that they can't be trusted to shave him?

It was good to see Jimmy, loyal and boyishly optimistic as always, even though his enthusiasm perhaps seemed a little bit tempered here. It was nice to see that he had written a very supportive book about Clark. It was highly appropriate, too! Just think of all those years when Jimmy had his own comic book, "Jimmy Olsen, Superman's pal"! But - Jimmy, a good investigative reporter, couldn't locate Clark on his own?
Clark's location is that secret? And Jimmy "still" has "a little pull" with the President, with Lois? What has happened between Lois and Jimmy? Did they have a falling-out over Lex?

Aahh, Lex. He killed Nor with a chunk of Kryptonite. How appropriate. And the Kryptonians killed Lex. Poetic justice, I suppose. But Clark was surprised that Lex got to be President of the United States in the first place:
Well, I don't know. Several of the most brilliant and amazing politicians in the history of humanity have served as Presidents of the United States - Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt to name a few - and let me tell you Americans that most of us Europeans thought that Bill Clinton was great, too. It's kind of amazing, when you think back, how much safer and happier the world seemed to be when Clinton was in office, compared with what it is now.

And - Lois became President after her husband, the President, had been killed? Wow, people, that's kind of amazing. Reminds me of an almost tribal society, where the widow or a son or daughter or cousin takes over when the leader has died. Of course, seeing that George W. Bush became President of the United States only eight years after his father, George H.W. Bush, left office, maybe the idea of an all-in-the-family Presidency of the United States isn't such a far-fetched idea after all....

Sorry. Couldn't resist that. I won't say anything more along those lines.

And not everything that goes bad in a country is the President's fault. You have done a good job of convincing me that Lois is a good President, and that she tries her damndest to be as good a President as possible. Yes, she tries her best to be a good President, and she still loves Clark. I so, so loved this part of chapter five:
Lois cares. She certainly does. But why does she have to send people away to die again?

And Clark is asking her about Lex. Oh, Shayne, you must hurry up and post part six, so that we get to hear Lois's answer.

Ann

Wow. To all of it: the book, Jimmy, Lex vs. Nor . . . .

I did not automatically assume the peace talks were with the New Kryptonians. For some reason I just pictured ordinary, present-day type world politics.

That Lois married Lex and later Lex became President; that must have been terribly difficult for Clark at the time.

Overall, excellent plot, excellent feeling, and *totally* awesome writing.

Wow.

Shayne - another brilliant leg of a wonderful story.

SNL

Shayne, everyone's already said it so well, I'll just have to echo the sentiment: This is such a gripping story! It's so well-written and the tension is fantastic.

And your description here was wonderful:
We've all got that morbid curiosity, to a degree, whether it's open wounds, car accidents, poking at a bruise with a fingertip or testing a sore tooth with our tongue. So well said, and so heart-breaking — this is Clark's forgotten train-wreck of a life, after all, not a scraped knee.

And, like everyone else, I can't wait to read your next chapter!

I was so pleased to see a new chapter of this posted, Shayne, and I am still spellbound by your writing. I love the mood and tone of this piece. I particularly liked Jimmy's visit in this chapter and Clark's discovery of the Lois/Lex marriage. I'd been aware of that reality from the first chapter, but my heart still dropped along with Clark's when he verbalized it. And the last line obviously left me wanting more, more, more.

Please post again soon!

You've mastered yet another great chapter. Keep it coming!

My mind was nagging me about this title, so I went to dictionary.com and looked up "nocturne." Here's what it returned:

1. A painting of a night scene.
2. An instrumental composition of a pensive, dreamy mood, especially one for the piano.

My, my, my, this fits so well that I suspect Shayne is either an artist or a musician, aside from being a highly skilled writer. This is a sad, lonely, thoughtful, and dramatic piece. I sure hope there's a final coda already planned, because if this becomes an orphan story after this buildup, I may just break down and cry.

I'm not a musician. My father was, although he was not famous, and his musical style was country and western.

The choice of title was deliberate though. Good catch, Terry.

I'm really pleased that everybody still seems interested.

Still enjoying this, Shayne. I like the elegiac note in your narrative, especially when you're writing from Clark's POV. I'm slightly less intrigued, but that's only because more of the back story has now unfolded.

Keep posting!

Yvonne

Hi,

Great part. That is a good death for Luthor.


More ASAP, please.

MAF

Another fantastic part! Keep up the great work.

Jackie

Yea, tell me about Lex.

FANTASTIC!!!

Ack! Where's part six?

Sorry I haven't gotten to read this sooner. I've been wrastling with a longer fic that wouldn't let me breathe! I like the idea behind this, and how you're slowly revealing what kind of world we're in instead of using one paragraph to try and explain everything. And ack! Sounds like things aren't as happy for out Superhero here as they are in the regular timeline!

Look forward to more of this! =D

Pretty please?

Hmm, finally he discovered something

Jose