Clark had thought about it all week. He and Lois were between disasters, between huge time-consuming and energy-stealing stories, between threats from any one of numerous bad guys toward either of them for the past two weeks, between we-need-it-now assignments from Perry, and he decided it was time.
It was time for him to tell Lois that he was Superman, that the two men who had alternately wooed her and vied for her affection were actually one and the same. And the first Friday in May, a day when both were scheduled to be out of the office on Saturday, was the perfect evening for it.
He wasn’t a hundred percent sure, not quite, but if he were to ask Lois to marry him tonight, he believed – no, he was almost totally sure – that she’d accept. He wanted to marry her, wanted to watch her walk down to aisle toward him, wanted to hold her hands as whoever was officiating pronounced them husband and wife. And he was almost completely sure that Lois wanted the same thing.
So it was settled. They’d have a nice date, no pressure, no talk about work, just soft conversation and time alone together. He’d let her tell him the latest on Lucy and her progress toward becoming a paralegal. Lois’ younger sister had really turned herself around ever since the Metallo incident with her criminal boyfriend Johnny Corbin. And she didn’t seem to hold Superman responsible for his death.
Clark dismissed his residual guilt over Johnny and pointed his mind back to his upcoming date with Lois.
They were due for some quiet time, and it would be a good opportunity for him to clear the air between them. He knew that she’d been frustrated about his repeated vanishing acts, and he was tired of the hard looks and sharp comments she would aim his direction when he returned to her. She had to think he had a fear of commitment or a long-term antibiotic-resistant urinary tract infection or some other serious problem, and he didn’t want her to be afraid being involved with him.
He also didn’t want her to figure out his secret on her own and get justifiably angry at him. Nor was he willing to risk proposing before she knew. That would be a recipe for an unmitigated disaster that might damage their relationship beyond healing.
So yes, it would be tonight. Dinner, a romantic walk in a warm spring evening, an intimate conversation, a declaration of love, a reveal of his immense secret, and when she recovered from the shock she’d kiss him and tell him she loved him too and wanted to marry him.
Easy as pie. Fresh, hot, homemade peach pie. With strawberries and ice cream on top.
*****
Friday night, after a very pleasant dinner, Lois and Clark walked aimlessly along Baker Street, listening to the soft jazz and blues from the clubs they passed. Lois loved the feel of her hand nestled in Clark’s larger one. He was both the strongest and gentlest man she’d ever known. Her heart leaned toward him whenever they were together and yearned for his presence when they were apart. He made her smile, made her laugh, made her feel warm and safe and secure.
At times he also made her coldly furious.
Clark Kent would sometimes vanish mysteriously into thin air, often when they were having a deep and important personal conversation. Or if they were on an assignment, he’d disappear like Batman was supposed to be able to and reappear out of the woodwork like a termite. It was almost as if he were afraid to fully commit to the relationship.
Or to her.
That had to stop. Now.
She looked around and saw that they’d wandered into Centennial Park. This time of night, after most people had eaten dinner or gone to the theater but before the graveyard shift started work, they pretty much had this part of the park to themselves. Homeless people tended to stay out of the park until after midnight, and the visible police presence kept all but the stupidest drug dealers away. So, on impulse, she nudged him toward a bench not far from the Superman statue just inside the park entrance.
He looked at her and smiled. “Tired of walking with me?”
She smiled back. “No. I just wanted to sit with you for a while.”
They sat side by side and she leaned her head on his left shoulder. “This is nice,” she sighed.
He wrapped one of those marvelous hands around her shoulders and pulled her closer without squeezing her. “Yes, it is. I could sit like this for hours.”
“What, looking at a giant-sized Superman?”
He chuckled. “No. Sitting beside you.” He kissed the top of her head. “I can’t think of much I’d rather do right now.”
She put her hand on his chest and felt the power there. His heart beat with strength and vitality that could not, would not, be denied. It was fanciful, and she knew it, but she could almost feel his love for her crashing through his ribs to envelope her.
It was so real it almost scared her – scared that his love for her overshadowed her love for him. But she wanted him to commit to her as much as she wanted to commit to him. And it was time to find out where the course of her life would lead her.
For several minutes, neither of them spoke. The pressure built up inside Lois until she had to say something. She couldn’t allow their relationship to go on with the commitment phobia roller-coaster still set on full throttle.
She lifted her face toward his. “Clark?”
That megawatt smile lit up his face. “Yes, Lois?”
“Um – I need to ask you something.” He nodded but didn’t speak. “Something really important,” she added.
He shifted position and assumed a more serious mien without removing his arm from her shoulders. “You can ask me anything. Anything at all.”
She licked her lips and glanced around, then gritted her teeth and turned to face him again. “I need to know – why do you sometimes vanish for no reason? Why do you – are you running away from me? Are you having – second thoughts about – about us? As a couple, I mean, not as a team at work, but personally, like – like man and woman and maybe more than friends – lots more than friends.”
Lois all but clopped her teeth together and set her lips in a firm line. She hoped she hadn’t said too much too soon. She’d wait for his answer, whatever it was.
And if he suddenly ran off again, she’d have her answer. Not the one she wanted, of course, but it would be an answer.
He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. He nodded once and said, “It’s time for me to come clean about all that. I planned to do it tonight anyway. And this is actually a good spot for this conversation.”
Okay, she thought, he’s going to be honest with me, but why is this a good spot?
He sat up straight and took both of her hands in his. “Lois, I have to tell you that I love you and—”
“And I love you too, Clark! Surely you know that!”
“Please. I want to tell you this – I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. So please, please let me say all this without interruption.” He sighed and continued without waiting for her response. “I have a secret. I think you know that, even if you don’t know what the secret is. And it’s time for me to come clean on this.”
“You already said that.”
He tilted his head, lifted his eyebrows, and gave her a gentle “don’t talk” look. She pressed her lips together and zippered them shut with her fingers, then mimed turning a key and pressing it into his palm.
She felt his grip on her hands as it tightened. His face paled slightly, and he appeared to stop breathing. Whatever this was, it was big.
She tried an encouraging smile. It seemed to help, because he inhaled and continued.
“I have never – and I mean never ever – told anyone what I’m about to say. As far as I know, the only people who know this about me are my parents. I’ve discussed telling you this secret with them, and they both thought I probably should tell you now and not wait too long.”
This did not sound good. She tugged one hand loose and touched his cheek, then broke the seal on her lips. “Clark, are – are you sick? Is this some kind of long-term illness?”
He grinned. The big lugnut actually grinned! How was a serious illness in any way funny?
“No, I’m not sick. I used to wonder what was going on with me back when I was a kid, though. But I’m not sick. I’m actually ridiculously healthy.”
“Then what is it?” She pulled her free hand back to slap him if he didn’t hurry up and tell her already! The waiting was—
He slid his glasses from his face. “I’m Superman.”
Blank.
Just – blank.
Nothing. The Void. Total absence of everything.
Her mind was worse than blank. It was – suddenly nonexistent.
Breathe, Lois. Breathe.
“Lois?”
He sounded concerned.
He put his hands on her upper arms. “Lois? Are you okay?”
Her head turned away as if on its own volition and the statue caught her eye. It towered over her, bigger than life, carved with huge, bulging muscles and crossed arms as if it were guarding the park. Her body suddenly demanded air and she sucked in a lungful and leaped to her feet and took three shaky steps toward the immense marble image and she came up short at the rail around the pedestal and she almost fell over it into the base of the statue but Clark caught her and held her.
She turned. The statue’s eyes were full of concern – no, those were Clark’s eyes – no, they were Superman’s eyes – but glued onto Clark’s face. How could he—
Clark was Superman.
Superman was Clark.
It was impossible.
It made perfect sense.
He’d lied to her the whole time he’d known her.
He didn’t dare tell anyone his secret.
He didn’t trust her.
He was trying to protect her.
He’d let her think he was dead, shot to death at Georgie Hairdo’s club.
He’d had to play dead to protect his secret.
The dichotomy was too much to hold in her mind and she thrust half of it away with all her strength.
Lois snapped out of Clark’s grip and shoved him away. “NO!” she screamed. “NO! NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! NO-NO-NO-You can’t – you can’t be – you’re not – he’s not you!”
She barely felt him guide her back toward the bench. The backs of her knees hit the seat and she flopped down hard enough to bruise her tailbone. She tried to yell again but her lungs were empty and the world got narrow and gray and the city noises faded she felt herself tip over and—
Clark’s panicked face filled her vision and he grabbed her face and bent down and put his mouth over hers and blew in and pulled back and said “Breathe, Lois, breathe! Come on, come on, come on—”
She aimed the strongest straight right she had at his chin and barely managed to touch him and he stopped. He pulled back and she saw the night sky. That’s funny, she thought, the night sky had moved around in front of her. Dumb sky with no sense of direction.
Wait. No. The sky hadn’t moved. She was lying on her back in the grass in Centennial Park beside the Superman statue. She must have passed out when—
Wait – Superman? What did that—
Oh. Right. Clark. Superman. Same guy. Funny how it wasn’t a big deal at the moment.
She tried to sit up but he held her shoulders down and said, “No, you just stay there for a minute more. At least until I know you’re okay.”
She wasn’t okay.
She’d never be okay again.
Clark being Superman was suddenly an incredibly immense burden and she couldn’t stand up under it.
Clark had betrayed her. He’d kept a life-altering secret from her ever since she’d known him. He was no better than Lex Luthor, no better than Claude, no better than Patrick, no better than Paul, no better than her father. He was unfaithful, untruthful, untrustworthy, unfit to be ground under her foot, not worth the effort to scrape him from the soles of her shoes.
She hated him.
And she couldn’t wait to tell him.
*****
Clark watched Lois’ eyes clear. Then he saw her face harden. He stood and offered her his hand, but she slapped it away. She gained her feet and glared at him for a long breath, then turned and stomped away.
Oh, no, he couldn’t let the night end this way! “Lois! Wait, please! Talk to me!”
She didn’t react until he touched her elbow. Then she spun and bared her teeth at him. “Talk to you? Talk? Liar! Fink! Hateful wretch! You horrid, rotten, despicable beast! You’re unspeakable! I mean unspeakably disgusting! You’re revolting, ghastly, hideous, vicious, terrible—”
“What? Lois, wait a—”
She slapped him left-handed across the face so quickly he didn’t realize what she was doing until he heard the impact. He knew her hand was bruised if not broken, but she stepped back and snarled, “Get away! Stay away! Go eat some Kryptonite! Fly into the sun! Park on the moon and suffocate! I don’t care! Don’t come near me for any reason!”
“Ah – look, I know—”
“I said stay away and I meant it! Don’t come near me! I’ll file a restraining order if I have to!”
The threat of the restraining order stung more than the insults. He put his hands on his hips and tried to hint at a smile. “That’s going to be difficult to enforce, seeing as how we work together in the same office.”
She swung her right fist at his nose but he dodged this time. “No!” she growled. “Not now! Not ever again! You get away from me and stay away! Forever!”
Lois spun and stalked away, leaving Clark standing alone in the moonlight.
He listened to her progress until the night sounds of the city muffled even his hearing. With a deep sigh, he turned to the statue of his alter-ego and frowned up at its face.
“Thanks a lot, buddy.”
The statue didn’t even blink. So much for the hero’s famous compassion.
And so much for clearing the air between himself and Lois.
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