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I'm going to try using just one feedback post this time and see what happens. As promised, no one dies.There will, however, be emotional torture. You have been warned! 
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I'm intrigued! Especially after reading your notes, and the promise that no one dies. I'm game for a bit of emotional torture!
Great prologue. Looking forward to the rest unfolding!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42 |
Okay, this is am interesting reaction Lois has to learning the secret. Not completely unexpected, but slightly more intense than anticipated. I'm curiously waiting for the next chapter
It's never too dark to be cool. 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,007 Likes: 19 |
I am so rooting for Rachel this time around. Can't wait to see what happens now.
Clark eventually becoming husband to Smallville's favorite sheriff definitely has a nice feel to it, especially if coupled with him taking over the Kent farm.... :3
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Joined: Jan 2019
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 395 Likes: 7 |
OK, that was definitely the craziest reaction of Lois learning of the secret I ever read and that has to mean something. Lookng forward where you going with this.
I liked Rachel in GGGOH, and I agree that she is much better concurrence than Mayson could have been. It seems to be common in this fandom to write stories where it's always clear that, no matter what, Lois and Clark will end up together and as nice at this is, having a serious alternate solution is great, too, and like Blueowl I'm rooting for Rachel this time (sorry Lois, but you have enough happy endings with Clark so I think it's fair play) It's an interesting new angle I haven't encountered yet and I'm excited to know how that will Play out. I wonder: Does this Story follow your "I know a secret" tale in continuity?
Last edited by BlindPassenger; 06/01/21 05:15 AM.
Up, up and away - to the next fanfic.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Joined: Jun 2004
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I can certainly see why some readers would assume that Clark and Rachel will end up together at the end of this story. But I didn't state that. All I wrote was that true love will win out in the end. Who's the winning contestant? You'll have to read and find out what actually happens and who gets whom.
I want to reiterate that I'm not trying to punish Lois for any reason. Nor am I trying to upset FoLCdom and make most of the members angry with me. This is just a story my three muses (Psychotropia (or Trope), Polyskitsodia (or Polly), and Harley (or Harley) put in my head. It was a tale that demanded to be told.
Wait - I forgot to close the parentheses above. Here it is.)
Chapter one is up! And this will be the feedback thread for the entire accidental epic.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,007 Likes: 19
Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Well, I certainly like Lucy here. Sometimes it takes a sister to say what needs to be said. If only it was heard.
Looking forward to more.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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BlindPassenger, I forgot to answer your question! I'm so sorry! No, this is a different "universe" from "I Know A Secret." Good thought, though.
Blueowl, there is more Lucy to come. She's going to be a factor in the resolution of the conflict.
Stay tuned!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42 |
Okay, Lois really is beyond reason. I think once her rage has subsided, she'll have one hell of a bad conscience. And eventually Clark will have a hard time forgiving her.
I'm definitely going to read that next chapter. Poor Clark. I'm curious if there is a reason for Lois' extreme reaction in this verse.
Great work, Terry.
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2013
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Terry, you certainly have my undivided attention.  I am willing to bet that Chapter 2 is a "rip snorter...." As always, superb writing.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Bakasi, did I send you my outline? If not, you are very discerning. Prescient, even.
SupesFan, thank you for your kind words. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
Coming up in 3...2...1...now!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
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No you didn't send your outline. It's the reaction I would expect, after what Lois did to him.
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Joined: Jul 2014
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
I had the same reaction as bakasi. At least I hoped that Clark would be strong, and I'm glad to see he was in Chapter 2. Lois needs to consider anger management training, or maybe Perry should require it for continued employment. I wonder if she is banishing just Clark or both his personas from Metropolis, and how that will affect the city in addition to her own penchant for courting danger. Looking forward to finding out how this story unfolds.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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This really is the mother of all bad reactions to learning Clark's secret. Talk about driving a wedge between them. Tempus could use some lessons from Lois, if he wants to succeed.
I can just imagine him reading this fic.
"No, no, Terry, you evil *****, where is my role in this fic?“
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Joined: Jan 2019
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jan 2019
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OK this time Lois Rally went a few steps too far IMO and I have a hard time to see how These two should ever return to a friendly base, not to speak of a romantic one. I feel quite sorry for Perry for being stuck in the middle. It's a real shit Situation and he has not even dealt with the CK=S Revelation properly. I'm very glad Clark stands up for himself in this one and is not just being passive and "run away" like he does in other stories with similar acts of Lois trying to bring him out of her life. Her arguments are totally unreasonable and I wonder that as an intelligent woman she doesn't see how much BS she is talking. Lucy knows her sis so well, doesn't she? Let's hope there will be the Point Lois will actually hear a word she tells her.
Up, up and away - to the next fanfic.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Everyone seems to think that Lois has stepped over a line. We'll find out just how far very soon. And y'all have nailed something right on the nose - a reconciliation between Clark and Lois will not be simple or easy.
We'll see more about Rachel's situation, too. Be prepared for a few surprises - most of them good.
I hope.
Next chapter up in moments!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,628 Likes: 42
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This chapter was less of an emotional roller coaster. It'ds a good thing that Perry gives Clark a chance.
But I'm guessing that come Monday Lois will still be angry and Perry's attempt to make her see reason will backfire.
I'd like to know what happened to Lois. Did someone spray her with an anti-pheromone compound? Did Mars, the god of war, rob Cupid of one of his bows and poison the arrows? Does this Lois have a past experience that makes her go this ballistic?
Knowing you a little, I'm guessing that she too has a valid reason for reacting this way.
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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So looking forward to Clark returning to Smallville and meeting Rachel again. They could both use some TLC.
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Joined: Jul 2014
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
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I feel badly for Perry, Clark, and Rachel. Lois thinks her actions are justified, after all that seems to be her modus operandi. Whether anyone else does remains to be seen. In the show it often seemed as though patience was another of Clark's superpowers, especially when it came to Lois. Also looking forward to seeing what happens in the Daily Planet newsroom if, as I assume, Clark leaves. I can imagine Perry would be incredibly disappointed in Lois' reaction, whether or not that how this story progresses.
I'm also looking forward to seeing how Clark and Rachel interact.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Let me answer the recurring question: why does Lois react so violently to learning the secret? From the prologue: Clark being Superman was suddenly an incredibly immense burden and she couldn’t stand up under it.
Clark had betrayed her. He’d kept a life-altering secret from her ever since she’d known him. He was no better than Lex Luthor, no better than Claude, no better than Patrick, no better than Paul, no better than her father. He was unfaithful, untruthful, untrustworthy, unfit to be ground under her foot, not worth the effort to scrape him from the soles of her shoes. From chapter one: Clark had betrayed Lois.
A part of her mind tried to tell her she shouldn’t be surprised, that men had betrayed her over and over again ever since childhood. Her father had betrayed the family and left. Danny Williams had betrayed her as a junior in high school, spreading the rumor that she was frigid and scared of boys after she’d fought off his forceful offer of sex in the back seat of his car. Paul Murphy had betrayed her in college, allowing Linda King to seduce him away from her. Patrick Sullivan had betrayed her in Ireland, making promises he’d had no intention of keeping. Claude Bouchard had betrayed her when he’d convinced her he loved her, slept with her, stolen her first big story and told everyone at work how unresponsive she was in bed.
Now Clark had betrayed her. He’d kept the biggest secret of all time from her for almost two years. He’d let her think he was dead, shot to death in Georgie Hairdo’s club, for almost three days. He’d told her he loved her, gotten her to tell him she loved him, then clubbed her with the confession that he—
She couldn’t even think it.
And not only had Clark betrayed her, Superman had betrayed her too. The superhero wasn’t nearly as heroic as he claimed to be. He was fully capable of deceit, of playing the trickster, of deliberately misleading her to believe one man was actually two different men. I tried to make it clear that this Lois has trust issues, issues that Clark inadvertently and unknowingly poked with an electric cattle prod. Her reactions are based in those insecurities, and this time she didn't have the buffer of her willingness to risk herself for Clark's parents and almost dying as a result. She put Clark on a pedestal, and when he got down he stepped on Lois' heart. He believed that she could handle the truth. ( Check this out.) It's probable that she still has unresolved issues regarding her father's behavior, and those would affect any other relationship with any man for as long as she leaves those issues unresolved. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding about the violence of Lois' response. The question of whether of not her reaction is reasonable is related but separate. We'll see how the people around her react to her ultimatum and whether or not Clark actually leaves. (Spoiler: Of course he leaves. How else will he meet Rachel again?)
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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