|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Comments go here. Please let me know what you think! Part 1
Last edited by bakasi; 07/06/21 04:01 PM.
It's never too dark to be cool. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21 |
Holy cow. Well, her instincts and reflexes are certainly getting her in trouble here.... That, and her unfailing bad luck.... And she of course had to see the man's face  Hope to see the next part soon!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Thanks for commenting, Blueowl. Yes, Lois is a real trouble magnet. But over the course of the story that special talent will also have some positive side effects.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42 |
He loved her. Lois couldn’t honestly say that a man had ever said such a thing to her and truly meant it. She wasn’t even sure if any of the men in her life had ever uttered those three words – including her father. That someone could actually be in love with her sent her heart racing. Now Lois was faced with the biggest decision of her life. Should she marry Lex Luthor? She desperately longed to talk it through with someone. OK, you got me wondering how this one is going to evolve. Lex is totally sexy when he is trying to influence a woman, but later on... watch out! Lois, think before answering, the man does not love you. Looking for more in the near future!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Thanks for your feedback, Morgana. The next chapter should give you an idea where this story is going. It's coming up in the next few minutes  Part 2
Last edited by bakasi; 07/13/21 07:31 AM.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Still tense, still tight, still outstanding. Great story, bakasi. I can't comment more than that (I am privileged to have been a beta on this tale) except to say that there's a lot of really good stuff coming up! Y'all keep reading, okay?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21 |
Wow. I suspect Chuck has an interesting backstory. I see why you had put that warning! Glad things turned out . . . okay there. And it was amazing to see Lois seesaw between incredible bravery and understandable fear, so in character  Anyway, looking forward to more.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42 |
Lois’ gut twisted painfully. She had once thought that Claude was interested in her personality. It was a given that she couldn’t trust her instincts when it came to men. Such a harrowing situation would frighten anyone. But now it is time for you to make full examination of everything around you and make plans to escape. Glad you gave that warning, it was getting tense. Where is Clark?
Last edited by Morgana; 07/14/21 10:53 AM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Thank you for advertising, Terry. Actually it was a privilege having you as a beta and not the other way round. Wow. I suspect Chuck has an interesting backstory. Well, his backstory will at least play an important role during the rest of the story. Glad you gave that warning, it was getting tense.
Where is Clark? I'm glad that the warning didn't scare you off. Thank you for reading, everyone. The mystery of Clark's whereabouts will be solved in the next chapter. 
Last edited by bakasi; 07/15/21 06:50 AM.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
Wow, catching up with this thrilling, intense story. I certainly didn't expect the twists so far, and looking forward to wherever you take it next,
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Thank you for your feedback, Cuidadora. I'm curious how you will like the next twist. Part 3 is coming up 
Last edited by bakasi; 07/20/21 02:46 PM.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
Well, this is definitely intriguing. And what a cliffhanger! What in the world happened during that fight???
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42 |
Live Another Day is certainly a chilling story! Now we know what happened to Clark.
Dan is probably Scardino, who is 'Chuck's' supervisor.
Is Clark estranged from his parents? Hope not, they are the main stabilizers in his life.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Live Another Day is certainly a chilling story I hope this doesn't mean you're going to stop reading now.  Lois and Clark certainly didn't start on the best of terms (quite the opposite in fact). I fully intend to put my toys back into the box. Unlike most stories I have written lately this story actually has an A-plot worth mentioning. But throughout the remainder of this story, there will also be a huge focus on B-plot. I wanted to show how Lois and Clark learn to trust each other after this less than ideal start. The chilling should subside during the next two chapters. You'll certainly find out what's going on with Clark and how much he needs a Lois. Thanks for your feedback, Morgana. @cuidadora: Thank you very much for reading. I think you may be surprised about what happened during the fight. 
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42 |
I hope this doesn't mean you're going to stop reading now. frown Nope this reader is staying for the whole Nantucket sleighride! This is a very different Lois and Clark meeting. I may not comment as much as in the past, yet I will be around.  Looking forward to the next part!
Last edited by Morgana; 07/25/21 08:01 AM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Nope this reader is staying for the whole Nantucket sleighride! Glad to read that. I had to look up the expression. Interesting analogy. I'm just wondering who the whale is.  Since I'll be visiting my in-laws tomorrow, I don't know whether I'll find the time to post. So, I'm going to do it a little earlier. For the next four weeks, I'm not sure I can stick to posting on Tuesdays. I'll try to keep a weekly schedule, though. The next chapter should be the last one to give you the chills. I'm turning up the heat soon. Here's Part 4
Last edited by bakasi; 07/26/21 10:09 AM.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21 |
Very cool alternative background for Clark. I love how he is still Clark at his core while struggling to decide what he should do in the situation.
I also wonder what Lois is going to do now that she likely knows he's not really a bad guy and is some kind of undercover officer (of sorts).
And you actually managed to make me not instantly hate Scardino! That's impressive.
Looking forward to more.
Last edited by Blueowl; 07/26/21 07:58 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,668 Likes: 58 |
Thank you very much for your feedback, Blueowl. I'm glad you're still following this story. I also wonder what Lois is going to do now that she likely knows he's not really a bad guy and is some kind of undercover officer (of sorts). You're going to find out soon. Part 5is up.
Last edited by bakasi; 08/03/21 03:56 AM.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 21 |
Wow. I feel bad for Lois, but at least she's still listening. And I hope Clark gets his powers back quickly  I really hope they can avoid blowing up the Planet and nail Luthor together. I've always wondered how much closer they could have gotten, sooner, if they had done so in the show. Looking forward to more.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
Still reading and getting caught up on my comments.
Part 4 - Well, I didn't expect that explanation for Clark's limp. It makes perfect sense. I hope his solution won't cause an even bigger problem. What a sad back story for him. His threat to Dan at least worked.
Part 5 - Lois is going through a range of emotions in a short period of time. I could feel her world being turned upside down with the revelations. Looking forward to more.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
|
|
|
|
