Lois gets ready for THE PLAN
Lois watched Clark as he moved through the newsroom making his coffee and accidentally dipping his tie in his mug in the process. It was hard to believe the accident-prone partner she saw every day was the most powerful man on Earth, but the truth was undeniable.
She'd figured it out about a month ago under the worst circumstances imaginable.
She'd watched Clark get shot right in front of her. She thought she'd lost him. It had been the worst twenty four hours of her life -- twenty four hours in which she had been forced to contemplate a life without her best friend. Twenty four hours to realise she loved him.
And just as quickly as she'd lost him, suddenly she had him back again. She'd never been so happy, or so aware of the precarious nature of time. So, as she'd driven him home, she'd attempted to tell him how she felt.
Only to have him fall asleep! Lois hadn't known whether to feel relieved that he hadn't heard her clumsy attempt at a declaration or disappointed. Either way, she'd been faced with the challenge of how to get a newly alive and sleeping Clark Kent out of her jeep. She'd have to wake him. That she knew.
But as she watched him, eyes shut, his breathing steady and deep, she was stunned by the wave of feeling that had come over her. He looked so peaceful. So incredibly beautiful that she hadn't been able to resist brushing a stray lock of his dark hair away from his forehead.
His head had lolled forward and his glasses had fallen off into his lap. She picked them up, intending to put them back on his face before waking him, when something gave her pause. She realised as she looked at him that she’d never seen his face uncovered like that before. It felt wrong…forbidden almost – like an intimacy she hadn’t been given permission for. And suddenly it all came together. The image of Clark and Superman seemed to merge and she could see it all as clear as day. Whether it was the emotional shock of almost losing him, or the fact that she’d realised how much she really cared about him, she’d seen more that night than just her partner without his glasses on.
She remembered gasping and putting the glasses back on his face, sitting in stunned silence outside his apartment while she'd tried to sort out the jumble of emotions racing through her mind.
Eventually, she'd watched as her partner startled himself awake, apologized for falling asleep and left her jeep, promising to see her the next day at the Planet.
She'd been too confused to say anything as she watched him go.
And she felt as if she'd been watching him ever since, trying to find a way to tell him that she knew. It had almost felt like the five stages of grief. After all, in a way she had lost the partner she knew. What were the five stages of finding out the man you love is really a superhero?
Clark waved at her as she made his way back to his desk, dabbing a paper towel at his tie, in an attempt to remove the coffee stain. Lois frankly found it an improvement.
He sat down and began typing up their latest story, glancing occasionally at his notes.
The first week after finding out, she'd been angry. Furious even. After all, he'd allowed her to think he was dead. He'd let her go through that hell, all alone.
She wanted to confront him. She wanted to yell, cry, or both, but she couldn't seem to find the words to do it. She'd almost lost him. Was she even allowed to be mad at him? Could she yell at a man who, only a day ago, she's been absolutely heartbroken to have lost? Doing so felt like tempting fate.
Plus there were moments she'd look at him and wonder if what she saw had just been her mind playing tricks on her. Maybe it had been the grief and exhaustion talking. And it had been dark in her jeep.
But then, two days after he'd come back from the dead, she'd seen him turn away from her, pull his glasses down and heat up her coffee when he thought she hadn't been looking and all those justifications flew out the window. Hmmmmm, anger and denial? Check.
So she'd said nothing. She had pretended everything was normal and that she was just grateful to have him back. That part hadn't been hard.
The second week she'd spent trying to coax the secret out of him. She'd told herself if she could just hear it from his lips, then telling him that she was in love with him would be easy. There was a good chance he felt the same way about her that she did about him but it was still a risk. Confessing her feelings was still making herself vulnerable. So a secret for a secret seemed fair. Bargaining? Check.
But he hadn't taken the bait.
The third week she'd come to the realization that she was partly responsible for the fact that he hadn't told her the truth. After all, she'd watched him confess he loved her, turned him down and then in the same day, confessed her love to him as Superman. When he'd rejected her, she had vowed to him that she would love him even if he had no powers. She winced now at the pain she had seen in his eyes. At the time she hadn't understood why he'd been so hurt -- angry even. But now she understood. And it broke her heart to know that she had been the cause of it. Depression? Check.
The fourth week she'd watched as an accident had caused some of Superman's powers to transfer over to a man named William Wallace Webster Walldecker. Walldecker had attempted to use those powers for good by becoming a hero who called himself Resplendent Man.
Unfortunately he hadn’t possessed the wisdom or good judgement of her partner, and Lois had ended up being captured by a woman who wanted Superman’s powers for her own, along with Resplendent man’s sister who she was using for leverage.
Lois had been on the verge of writing the story revealing that Clark’s powers were transferable. It wasn’t a story she would have ever considered printing any other time, but she’d found herself becoming a bit fed up with Clark lying to her face both in the suit and out of it. It wasn’t until she’d seen what almost happened to Wandamae Walldecker that she’d realised that Clark hadn’t told her his secret out of a desire to protect her, and the people he cared about.
After all, she may willingly put herself in harm’s way as a matter of choice, but his parents didn’t. They were safe in Smallville as long as nobody knew that Superman and Clark Kent were the same person. She would hate to see what happened to Wandamae happen to Martha and Jonathan.
And it was that particular realisation that had helped her to reach the final stage: acceptance. She understood now that Clark was not ready to reveal himself to her. Not yet. Maybe she hadn't been the easiest person for him to trust in that regard, especially after his confession and hers. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t give him a little push.
And the Christmas season seemed the perfect time to do so. And so, as the red and green started appearing everywhere in stores, street lights and around the Daily Planet, Lois had come up with THE PLAN.
She glanced over at Clark's desk once more. He was still sitting there typing – painfully slow at times, for Lois knew he could go faster. She couldn’t even begin to get started with THE PLAN until he left the newsroom. She needed to find his address book which she knew he kept in his messenger bag. She didn't know Martha and Jonathan Kent's phone number and she would need their help for this.
So she waited, hoping that he would either need to leave for a rescue (all of his lame excuses made sense now), or that he would get hungry and decide to run out for lunch. She considered asking him, but it wasn’t yet noon and she didn’t usually eat lunch until then. She needed to keep her behaviour completely normal so as not to alert him that anything had changed.
Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, he checked his watch and stood up flashing her that smile that now seemed to make every cell in her body come alive. He approached her and she did her best to calm the fluttering feeling that she suddenly felt every time he was near.
“Thought I’d get some lunch. Are you hungry?” He asked. She nodded, realising that the last time he got lunch he’d gotten that amazing Chinese food she could never seem to find in Metropolis. Oh! That made perfect sense now! He’d actually flown to China! Little moments like this had happened a few times every day as she became more and more familiar with the ways he concealed his secret.
“I’m thinking I’ll go to Al’s Diner down the street,” he continued. “You want the usual?”
“That sounds great,” she replied. “But remember the ketchup. Last time you forgot.”
“Your wish is my command,” he said and something in his tone of voice made her shiver. Had he always told her he cared about her without actually telling her? She hadn’t noticed that before either, but she was noticing it now.
She watched as he left, waiting until she was sure he was out of the building before she dug out the Kent’s phone number. She would have to wait until she got home to call them. After all, even though their desks were not that close, she knew that with his super hearing, he would be able to hear any phone calls she might make and while she didn’t think he would listen in on purpose, the sound of his parents’ voices would definitely catch his attention. And even if she called now while he was out of the building, she couldn't risk anyone else overhearing. She understood the gravity of this secret now. Acceptance indeed.
When the end of the day came around, she smiled, grabbed her bag and practically raced for her jeep. It was time to get home and put THE PLAN into action.
