Three days earlier...
Clark walked back to the Planet after his conversation with the man in the Santa costume, who had told him about the lack of donations for the orphaned kids. In his mind, he was going through a list of people he could contact as Superman. But his thoughts quickly strayed back to Lois and her less than enthusiastic feelings about Christmas. It tore at his heart and he really wanted to show her what the holiday was meant to be like.
But there was still the problem with his mother's wish. For the most part, Clark had been mulling over their conversation on the phone, time and time again. He couldn't help but concede that she had a point that telling Lois too late could result in losing both her trust and her friendship. But what if it was still too early to burden her with the knowledge? Was she really ready for this kind of secret that would make her part of his life forever? If he told her, she would become a member of his family, at least like a sister to him, if she didn't want to be his wife. Would their friendship really last a lifetime, or was she going to resent him for sharing a secret this big and this difficult to keep?
Clark was just not sure about a step that to him almost seemed bigger than asking her to be his wife. If he married her and, Heaven forbid, it didn't work out, they could file for divorce. Though he fully intended to stay married for life, there was a loophole in that contract. If he told her that he was Superman, there was no going back from that revelation. She'd be in his life forever as one of the very few people who knew. Were they both ready for that? The truth was, he didn't know. He loved her and he really wished that she would stay with him forever. But did Lois really consider this a long term commitment?
The problem was that Clark wouldn't find an answer to that question unless she agreed to marry him. But after listening to his Mom, he feared that waiting till that day might indeed be waiting too long.
With a heavy sigh, Clark entered the Planet building and headed for the elevators. He stepped into the first car that arrived and pressed the button for the newsroom. As the elevator began its ascend, his ears suddenly tuned in on Lois' voice.
She sounded more than a little exasperated. "Little heavy on the red and green, aren't we?"
Clark picked up Jimmy's surprise. "You don't like them?"
Lois let out an annoyed huff. "Do I have a choice?"
"Sorry?" Jimmy muttered. Clark didn't need to check with his x-ray vision to know that his friend had the same look of a hurt puppy that he always wore at one of Lois' rebuffs.
And it seemed to affect Lois as well, because her tone became a lot softer. "It's just, everywhere you look you're just sort of..." She broke off, as if searching for the right expression. Then, after a moment she continued, sounding unhappy rather than angry. "... under seige. Ribbons, wreaths, trees, mistletoes. Santas, Elves, Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Pounding you, day and night, in your face, 'You must love Christmas, you must love Christmas, you must love Christmas.'"
Jimmy let out an audible breath. "Guess we won't be goin' carolling tonight, huh?"
Lois sighed heavily. "Just once, I'd like to feel Christmas... Discover it, you know? Unwrap it and be surprised by how wonderful it is, instead of having it shoved relentlessly in my face like half-off coupons at a swap meet."
Clark turned his hearing off, feeling guilty for invading her privacy like that. All morning he'd been trying to get her to admit that she loved Christmas. Actually, he'd been so relentless in his insistence that Christmas was a good thing, that she hadn't been willing to tell him how she really felt about the holiday. Overwhelmed and trapped.
He clenched his hands into fists as a rush of anger filled him. He was both angry with himself and the people who had taken away the magic for her. Well, at least he should try and fix that. The elevator dinged as it arrived on the right floor and the doors slid open. Clark stepped out and made a beeline for his desk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lois talk to someone on the phone. He refrained from listening in again, though here was sorely tempted.
With a heavy heart he watched as Lois' face fell. Whatever she'd heard on the phone hadn't been good news. And since she looked so utterly crestfallen, he guessed that she'd tried to talk to a member of her family. If it had been as simple as a lead not panning out, her disappointment would have quickly given way to sheer determination.
But as Lois hung up and then quickly dialed another number, she seemed far from that fiery reporter whom he loved so dearly.
Thoughtfully, Clark went to his desk and sat down for a moment, checking his mails and now and again, checking on Lois, too. He knew she needed the space right now. tThe second phone call, however, didn't go any better than the first b one. Clark heaved a sigh and decided that in her current state of distress, Lois could probably use a cup of coffee. It was a slow news day anyway, so he took his sweet time preparing one, lest he walked in on a conversation Lois likely didn't want him to be privy to. Then he poured himself a cup and added creamer and sugar.
As he slowly walked over to her, he heard her once again talk on the phone
"No, Lucy. Mom can't make it. I couldn't even get Dad on the phone. They kept me on hold for twenty minutes. What about you?"
She fell silent, listening to her sister's reply on the other end of the line.
"You're in love?" Lois gasped. "Christmas in Venice? Wow, that is romantic." Did Clark imagine it, or was there a hint of envy on his partner's face?
Lucy seemed to be talking again.
A moment later, Lois' expression changed to one of exasperation. "Oh. Venice, California... He's either going to be an artist or an actor? Well, good luck, Lucy. You're gonna need it... merry Christmas."
She hung up and looked even more miserable than she had before. Clark straightened his shoulders and closed the distance between them. He sat down on the edge of her desk.
"Your family busy over the holidays?" he asked sympathetically.
She nodded, doing her best to put on a brave face. If he hadn’t known her as well as he did, she might even have fooled him into believing that she didn’t actually care about what had just happened. Her face had clouded over and there was something impenetrable about the look in her eyes that warned everyone in her immediate area not to push her right now.
He handed her the cup of coffee and Lois’ expression softened a bit, even allowing for a faint smile of gratitude. She took the cup in both hands and took a large sip. Clark couldn’t help the impression that she was hiding behind that cup, using it as a shield against the world that was so often set out to hurt her.
His first impulse was to pull her into a comforting hug. In moments like this, what he really wanted to do was embrace her and kiss away all the pain she’d felt in her life. He wanted to show her just how much he loved her and wanted to make up for all the rejections she’d received by others.
Clark’s jaw tensed. Including himself. He’d rejected her as well, when she’d declared his love for him as Superman. And he’d let her think that he was dead. If he really wanted to keep her from being hurt again, he would have to start by himself not hurting her and set things straight.
He took a deep breath. "Why don't you come to Smallville and celebrate Christmas with me and my folks?"
She let her cup sink and looked at him, utterly surprised. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but it took quite a while before she was able to speak again.
"I don't know, Clark,” she croaked. “They’re your family. I wouldn’t want to intrude.” A faint blush crept onto her cheeks and once again she raised the cup to her lips to take shelter behind it.
He shook his head. “You wouldn’t be intruding. My Mom would be delighted if I brought a friend.” He bit his lip. It was probably best if he didn’t mention that he’d practically been ordered to bring Lois. “Come on, please say yes. I hate to see you so lonely on Christmas.”
Lois eyed him carefully. “But you love Christmas so much and I…” She lowered her gaze self-consciously. “…I’d hate to ruin the holiday for you. I’m just not very good at all this stuff.”
Clark couldn’t help himself. He ran his finger down her cheek and brushed a lose strand of hair behind her ear. Then he gently tilted her chin until she looked him in the eyes again. His lips twitched into a smile, which he hoped was reassuring.
“You’re not going to ruin anything, Lois,” he said softly. “What makes you think that? How could Christmas be ruined if I spend it with my family and my best friend?”
There was a gleam in her eyes that he could only describe as hope blossoming in there somewhere. The blush on her cheeks deepened. There was also the hint of a smile, hidden behind so many layers of insecurity that anyone but Clark would have missed it. But it was enough to make his heart rate soar.
“You really want me there?” she asked tentatively.
“Yes, I do,” he confirmed. “I’d love nothing more.” And that was true, though he really wished that she’d not only accompany him as his friend, but also as the woman he loved. But that had to wait until she was ready. For the moment, he’d gladly take whatever she offered. And if it was friendship, then so be it.
“And I promise you that nobody is going to shove Christmas in your face,” he added.
Her eyes widened. “Did Jimmy tell you that?”
Clark smiled at her ruefully. “Kind of. So what do you say? Are you coming?”
She looked at him for a moment. It was hard to tell whether she was outraged by Jimmy’s supposed indiscretion or weighing the pros and cons of spending the holiday with him. Clark tried his best to be patient, though there was a silent war of emotions going on inside him, as well. Part of him almost hoped that she’d say no, so he wouldn’t have to tell her his secret just yet. But could he really want to spend just a minute of his life without her in it. He let out a deep breath. His thoughts were once again straying toward dangerous territory. For the time being he was just her friend and maybe he hadn’t yet earned the right to call himself more than that.
Lois bit her lip as she was fighting her own internal battle. She looked around herself probably checking if anyone was watching them. Clark knew what worried her. The Daily Planet gossip mill could be a raging beast that was very difficult to tame.
“Come on, we would be just two friends spending Christmas together,” he encouraged her. “There’s nothing wrong with that. People spend Christmas with their friends all the time.”
Lois swallowed visibly and looked a little subdued. “Right. Two friends spending Christmas together.“ She didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic. Still, she forced a smile onto her face. “Absolutely nothing wrong with that.” The smile turned a little broader as she schooled her features more carefully. “And you’re absolutely sure that you wouldn’t rather spend the holiday with someone else?”
“Gee, Lois, don’t let me twist your arm,” Clark replied good-naturedly. “So, you’re coming or not?”
Her voice was barely above a whisper and the reply seemed to take all the courage she could muster. “I’d love to.”
***
When Lois and Jonathan had left the house, Martha turned to face her son. "What did you want to talk to me about?”
She sounded curious rather than angry, which was a relief. The way she'd looked at him earlier, Clark had half expected she would give him a piece of her mind before she was even ready to listen to him. But she’d already told him she ultimately considered it his decision whether or not he revealed his secret. Clark reminded himself. She wouldn't be angry with him, if he didn’t tell Lois. Disappointed probably, but not angry. Though disappointment could be the more difficult emotion to face, when dealing with his Mom. Clark shook his head, trying to get rid of those unwanted thoughts.
"I'm worried," he admitted. "Lois' past Christmas experiences have been anything but magical. I want to show her that it can also be different. But now, I'm afraid that my confession will ruin Christmas for her."
Martha weighed her head thoughtfully. "I don't think that proving how much you trust her could ruin her Christmas." She laid an arm around his back and guided him toward the kitchen.
"You don’t know Lois,” he said glumly.
Raking a hand through his hair, he sat down at the table. His Mom filled a kettle with water and started to prepare some tea. He had a pang of a guilty conscience as he allowed her to mollycoddle him when it should have been helping her while he was here. But this had become a ritual throughout his childhood and his teens – his mom making tea before she would listen to all the things that were on his mind. Watching his Mom as she went through the various steps of making tea actually helped him to sort his thoughts.
“What if it blows?” Clark kneaded his hands. “Lois is quite literally a thousand miles away from her comfort zone with no means of escaping this place other than me. I don't think it's really fair to tell her here of all places." He looked at his mother, hoping to get some much needed advice.
Martha smiled at him ruefully as she placed a cup of tea in front of him. "I can see your point.” She walked around the table and pulled out another chair to sit down. “But what better place is there to yell without the risk of being overheard than this farm? Besides, you could offer to take her home in a matter of minutes. Or you’ll sleep in the barn. She should be relieved to hear that there are no allergies to work up, won't she?"
“Don’t remind me,” Clark rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. He felt his cheeks flush. “After all those lies and half-truths I've told her, I guess I'll have to do a lot of groveling." He took a sip of the hot tea. It already felt soothing as the liquid ran down his throat.
Martha reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. “It'd be worse if you waited until after she's realized that she's in love with you."
Clark set the cup down. “You really think she loves me?"
He tried hard to suppress the happy fluttering of the butterflies in his stomach. The last thing he wanted was getting his hopes up too high, because having to face the truth would hurt so much more if he did.
Martha just smiled knowingly. “Have you seen the way she looks at you?"
Clark hung his head. “When I'm Superman, yes."
Martha laughed. “Perhaps you should clean your glasses once in a while.” She took a sip of her own tea and leaned back, obviously enjoying her son’s puzzled expression.
Clark wanted to tell her all the reasons why she was mistaken. But he thought better of it. He didn’t want to start an argument with his Mom whether or not Lois had feelings for him that went beyond friendship. And that really was beside the point anyway. Wasn’t it enough that Lois was his best friend? Didn’t that alone warrant that he no longer let her believe he was two people?
“I just don’t know how to tell her,” he muttered unhappily. “I’m so afraid that she’ll never talk to me again once she knows about Superman.”
The look in his mother’s eyes was full of sympathy. “I really wish you didn’t have to carry around such a secret. But the truth is that you’ll never know how she reacts until you tell her.” Once again she squeezed his hand. “The most important question is if you want to give her the chance to really get to know you.”
“I do.” Clark let out a large sigh. “God help me I do. Until Lois, I have never even considered telling anyone. And perhaps that is what frightens me most. I can’t exactly draw from experience here.” He put his glasses down on the table and rubbed his eyes. “What if she isn’t yet ready to know? What if she will resent me for burdening her with the knowledge of who Superman really is? Once I’ve told her, I cannot exactly take it back.”
Martha let out a breath. “Then ask her if she wants to know.”
***
Clark spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for his confession. He still wasn’t sure if he was actually going to go through with it, or if Lois would even want that. And there was also the problem of how he was going to make this Christmas unforgettable for Lois. Well, admitting that he’d lied to her for the better part of one and a half years would certainly make the holiday memorable, but not quite in the way he’d hoped for. He didn’t know what to do, which only fueled his restlessness.
It seemed to take forever for Lois and Jonathan to return from their last minute shopping tour. It was late afternoon when they finally came back to the old farmhouse. Clark was already pacing the living room like a caged animal. His head shot up as he heard first Lois’ laughter and then his Dad’s. When they entered the house, it was obvious they had been enjoying themselves a lot. Both were still chuckling about something. They were packed with bags that they refused to show Clark and Martha.
When Lois’ eyes met Clark’s, her face seemed to positively glow with the most amazing smile he’d ever seen. It almost knocked him off his feet and sent him reeling both with pleasure and guilt. He felt utterly torn. His first impulse was to reach out to her and kiss her senseless. Well, he couldn’t do that, for obvious reasons. And how much sweeter would that kiss taste if she gave it to him, when there were no more lies between them that could taint the experience? Or would his confession just wipe that very smile off her face, pushing her out of his reach for the remainder of his days?
It was impossible to predict the outcome.
Though they couldn’t have been smiling at each other for more than a couple of seconds, to Clark it seemed like an eternity. Eventually, he decided that it would probably be best if he just did what he had to do and get it over with – like ripping a band-aid off.
His heart was beating fast and hard as he approached Lois, feeling self-conscious because his feared that his face spoke volumes about the turmoil that was going on inside him. “Dinner won’t be ready for another two hours. Would you mind going out for a walk with me?”
Lois nodded, still smiling at him warmly. “I’d like that very much.”
“Great.” The smile on his own lips suddenly felt awfully forced. Completely tongue-tied, Clark helped Lois back into her coat that she’d just taken off. Then he grabbed his own as he followed her outside and closed the door behind them.
“Your Mom was right. Smallville really is a nice place around Christmas,” Lois said quietly.
Clark felt his tongue gradually loosen. "I need to thank you for helping my Dad. He was very relieved that he didn't have to face Mrs. Barnes alone." He gave her arm an affectionate squeeze.
Lois chuckled to herself. "It wasn't that bad. I don't think she's holding a grudge against your Dad. Actually, I'm happy that he's still talking to me after I accused him of being a cross-dresser." She laid an arm around Clark and he felt acutely aware of every inch of his body that she touched. Would it be the last time she’d so openly show her affection toward him?
Clark squeezed his eyes shut and fought hard to focus his attention back on his current conversation with Lois. "You can say a lot of things about my Dad, but he's not vengeful and he's a good sense of humor…” He trailed off, not quite sure what else to say. *Procrastinating! You’re procrastinating,* his guilty conscience screamed at him. He cleared his throat to get rid of the lump that was building there. “I’m so glad you came. “
“Me too,” Lois’ voice was barely above a whisper.
Clark looked at her, transfixed by her beauty. There were so many things he wanted to say about his feelings for her. But that would be too much too soon. And he really should say something else right about now or he’d lose his nerve completely.
He absolutely didn’t want for this moment to end. “You're my best friend. I really don't know who I would rather spend Christmas with than with you.”
She looked down, her face clouding over and once again a somewhat forced smile appeared on her face. Clark noticed it with a sense of unease. Perhaps this wasn’t the right moment to tell her. Wouldn’t it be better if he just helped her to enjoy this Christmas with him?
“I couldn’t agree more,” Lois said. She blinked a few times and the smile on her face grew a little steadier.
Clark swallowed hard, unsure how to proceed. He couldn’t look at Lois, but he didn’t need to. His whole being was so attuned to her that he noticed every nuance of the woman walking beside him. Her heart-beat, the way she breathed, the sound of her footsteps in the snow. He took it all in, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time she’d allow him to be so close to her.
Lois spoke again, giving him another opportunity to put off the conversation he meant to have. "Your parents are just wonderful people."
“Yes, they are,” Clark agreed.
For a while they went alongside each other in silence. Blood was rushing in Clark’s ears and his insides had become a painfully twisted knot. She needed to know. And this was the moment, Clark knew it. If he was going to tell her at all, it was now or never.
He clenched and unclenched his fists nervously. “I want to show you something.”
Clark took her hand and she followed him. He guided Lois toward his old treehouse. Clark had spent the better part of the evening preparing it for this particular conversation. He'd decorated the house with a chain of lights and had taken a few blankets up there, making the place as cozy as he possibly could.
"A treehouse?" Lois asked surprised.
"Ladies first," he muttered uncomfortably.
Then Clark gestured for her to climb up. Lois raised a quizzical brow at him, but thankfully decided not to argue with him. She climbed up the ladder and when she was on top, he followed suit. His heart beat like a jackhammer and Clark couldn’t help but fear that she was going to hear the heavy thumbing in his chest.
As he joined Lois, a strange feeling took hold of him. The house seemed so small now that he was an adult. And he remembered so well how lonely he'd felt whenever he'd come up here. This was the first time someone was here with him. Even his parents had known better than to disturb him, when he'd fled to his refugee. Clark took a seat across from Lois and handed her one of the blankets.
She took it from him and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Fortress of Solitude? That's an interesting name for a treehouse."
Clark laughed. "What can I say? I was a teenager with some serious issues."
Lois eyed him incredulously. “Serious issues? You?”
“There are a lot of things that you don’t know about me, Lois,” Clark said softly.
She looked at him, seeming puzzled for a moment. Their eyes met and once again Clark felt like he was pulled into her dark pools, losing himself there. He wished that he could just give into that feeling and follow his impulse to close the distance between them. He wanted to run his thumb along her cheek and capture her lips in a hungry kiss. He wasn’t there, yet, he reminded himself.
"What's that?" Lois’ voice shook him from his musings.
It took him a moment to realize that she was pointing at two mugs that were sitting on the floor. Until then, they had escaped Clark's notice.
Lois took one of the cups and examined it. "Looks a lot like hot chocolate with marshmallows." She frowned. "It's frozen solid, though. Can you call the drink hot chocolate if it's cold?"
Clark looked at her confused."Dunno," he muttered.
"Was that your idea?" Lois asked.
Clark shook his head. “Must have been my Mom's doing.”
Lois grinned. “Any suggestions how we heat it up? I'd kill for a cup of hot chocolate right about now.” She pulled her blanket more firmly around herself and shivered a bit, as if to prove her point.
Clark shrugged helplessly, feeling thoroughly out of his depth. He knew exactly how his Mom expected him to heat up the cup. It was quite obvious that she had meant the beverage as a reminder of what he was supposed to do. He heaved a silent sigh and took the cup from Lois' hand.
"Lois, there is something I should tell you." His mouth ran incredibly dry. "If you want me to, that is. I mean, we're best friends, or at least you're my best friend. Maybe you don't even see me that way..." He trailed off and adjusted his glasses for good measure. It was really a pointless gesture.
"Clark," she said softly. The mischievous glint in her eyes was gradually replaced by a look of concern. She laid a hand on his knee. “And you're babbling. What’s the matter? Of course you’re my best friend, how could you ever doubt that?” Once again, her face seemed to cloud over. Or was he just imagining it?
He took deep breaths, trying to get his emotions under control. "Remember last year? When you asked me to tell you my biggest secret?”
Lois nodded. “You didn’t tell me.”
“Yeah,” he conceded. “That’s because I’ve never told this anyone." He shifted his position, trying in vain to get comfortable. He could have floated in the air and he still would have felt like he was sitting on a bed of nails. "If I tell you this now, you’d become a part of this family – at least sort of. Are you ready for that?"
She eyed him curiously. "This sounds pretty mysterious. What kind of dark secret could you possibly be hiding?"
He looked down into his lap. "It's nothing dark. But it could be dangerous to all of us, if someone else learned my secret.” Clark chewed on his lower lip. “And you might hate me, because I didn’t tell you earlier. Or because I told you here of all places where you might feel like you can’t get away from me, if that’s what you’d want to. Or because I ruined Christmas for you.” He felt a bit out of breath, like maybe he’d run for miles. Only, that had never actually happened for him, had it? A heavy weight settled in his stomach.
Her eyes had gone wide as she listened to him. “What makes you think I could ever hate you, Clark? I…” She trailed off as he laid his index finger on her lips to silence her.
“Please don’t say anything you might regret later,” he whispered. He looked at her with a wry half-smile. “So, last chance to back out.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going to. So what weighs on your mind so heavily that you think it might end our friendship?”
He rolled the cold mug of chocolate in his hands. “Why don’t I show you?”
Holding his breath, he reached for his glasses and lowered them enough for a quick burst of heat vision. Steam rose from the cup and immediately the delicious smell of hot chocolate filled the tree house. Then he took the second mug and repeated the procedure.
Lois eyes widened as he handed her the hot mug. “How did you...?” The words died on her lips as he removed his glasses completely and looked at her, contrite.
Clark slowly let out the breath he’d been holding. “You see, almost thirty years ago my parents found a baby in a tiny capsule. A spaceship. They raised me as their own, but after a few years it became very obvious that I wasn’t a normal kid.” The sound of his heartbeat reverberated in his ears so loud that to him it seemed to drown out his voice. It took some effort to continue. “I was stronger than anyone else, faster too. I never got hurt and I could set things on fire with just one look.”
Lois stared at him, her mouth open. “You’re Superman.” She slapped her hand in front of her mouth and Clark could practically see the wheels in her mind turning.
“I’m trying to be,” Clark gave her a forced smile. “But sometimes I think there’s not much that is super about me.”
Lois still seemed to be reeling with his revelation. “Everything makes so much more sense, now. All your weak excuses. I mean, Cheese of the Month – really?”
Clark laughed uncomfortably as she mentioned one of his latest and probably worst excuses. “Not one of my moments of glory.” He studied Lois’ face, trying to discern how she was taking the news. But it was impossible to tell what she was thinking. He decided for the direct approach. “Are you angry with me?”
She took a sip of her hot chocolate, eying him pensively. An eternity seemed to pass until she finally answered. “I don’t think so.” Lois heaved a sigh. “At least not much – it’s all so confusing. You… you let me believe that you were dead.”
“I’m so sorry about that. When Dillinger shot at me, I knew that no one could see bullets bounce of Clark’s chest.” He took a sip of his own beverage. It gave him a moment to think about what he was going to say next. “When I realized the implications of being shot in front of an audience, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that my life as Clark was over.”
Clark set down his cup and looked at Lois for a long moment, before he found the courage to continue. “I had invented Superman to be able to use my powers without losing the normal life that I always wanted. And in one split second that was all gone." He heaved a sigh. "I'm so sorry I put you through that kind of grief. There is no excuse for my behavior. I was just so caught up in my own selfish worries that I didn't even realize how much you were hurting."
Lois reached out and took Clark's hand in hers. He hoped he didn’t imagine the sympathy in her eyes. "Why are you telling me now?"
He flinched a bit. "Because Mom asked me to-" Though Clark hadn't planned to admit that, right in this moment it seemed like a better idea to refrain from telling more lies or even just omitting the truth. He grimaced. "Well, more precisely, she made me think about it. And she pointed out all the times you had proven that you're the best friend I could possibly find. But I haven't been repaying your friendship with trust. It was about time I changed that."
"Friendship." Her smile faltered once more and suddenly she looked incredibly sad.
Clark's breath hitched. "Oh boy, you are mad at me. I knew it was a mistake telling you here. I.. I promise you, I'll take you back to Metropolis as soon as you want me to. Or I'll keep my distance. I..."
"Clark!" She interrupted him. "I'm not mad."
He stared at her, almost shocked by her insistence. "You're not?"
"Well, maybe I will be,” she conceded. “A little, once I've had the time to really think about it. But I'm glad you told me.” Her lips twitched into a wry smile and she rolled her eyes. “What I can't believe is that I didn't see it earlier. I have been so blind." She threw up her arms. “Some reporter I am.”
Clark slowly shook his head. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have a life worth of training on how to slip by unnoticed. It’s almost impossible to keep a secret in a place like Smallville. Yet, not a single inhabitant of this town suspects a thing.” He flashed her, what he hoped was an apologetic smile. “But if you’re not mad, why do you look so sad all of a sudden?”
She couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Promise that you won’t laugh at me?”
Clark was taken aback. “Lois, I would never…”
Lois gave him a self-conscious smile and waved him off. “All right, all right, I know you wouldn’t.” She took a deep breath. “You keep saying that we’re the best of friends. But are we really just that?” She looked at him with a mixture of hope and the same sadness he’d seen earlier. “Because, I’m beginning to feel that there’s more between us than just friendship.”
“Really?” His heart started to flutter excitedly. So many months he had longed to hear her say that.
Her nod was almost imperceptible. “The day I almost married Luthor I was trying to imagine my life with him. But all I could think about was you and how you’d quietly become a part of my life.” Her voice was quivering slightly, thick with emotion. “After Dillinger had shot you, when I thought that I had lost you forever – I didn’t know how to go on.”
Her eyes were full of sadness, but that gradually disappeared as she cracked a small smile. “But then you returned. And for the first time I allowed myself to acknowledge my feelings for you.” She reached out for him and took his hand in hers. “I love you, Clark Kent.”
His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you, too. So much.”
This time, he couldn’t hold himself back. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and let his fingers travel down her cheek to cup it in the palm of his hand. Her skin was so incredibly soft that it simply took his breath away. His lips were tingling with the need to kiss her. He wanted to taste them once again, in a kiss that wasn’t a ruse or just good-bye. Before he knew what he was doing, he leaned in to kiss her.
But then he stopped inches from her velvet lips. He needed to be sure that she wouldn’t hold it against him, once she’d really thought about his deception.
His eyes searched her face for any indication of the rage he was expecting. “Are you sure you’re not angry at me for all the lies I’ve told you?”
She held his gaze. “Well, you do have a lot of explaining to do, that’s for sure.”
He cringed. “I wanted to show you the perfect Christmas. But I guess I’ve kind of ruined it.”
“As far as I’m concerned, Christmas hasn’t even yet begun,” Lois pointed out. “But if you call this a ruined Christmas, then you certainly have come up with the most creative way of ruining it.”
Clark couldn’t help but smile. “That’s some consolation.”
Lois laughed and framed his face with her hands. “Know what? You’re still a guy with some serious issues. Are you going to kiss me, or not?”
Before he had a chance to speak, Lois’ lips were on him. And whatever lingering doubts had been in his mind vanished quickly as incredible sensations swept away any coherent thoughts. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the warmth of her mouth, the softness of her tongue and the tickling of her breath on his skin. Something inside his mind clicked, as if right in this moment, he’d found that final piece of the puzzle that made him whole.
The End
