I normally don't have the spare time these days to follow a story any longer than a vignette, so if I drop out on you halfway through, Poussin, don't think it's because I got bored with your story!
I do still read comments folders though and since I had a few spare moments waiting for my hair to dry <G> before going out, how could I resist your plea for comments and not read this first part?
I'm not sure why you thought response to your story would be cool because of a slow start. I didn't think it began slowly at all. You jump right in to an intriguing premise, which is a really good hook.
I did find that the story was a little more work to follow than others because of the fact that English is your second language. A good beta though would be able to weed out most of the grammar errors without much difficulty. And I expected that from an author for whom English is a second language, so I didn't let it disturb me much.
It may have put others off though, so it might be an idea to have segments worked on by an English-speaking beta before you post.
That aside, I found this to be a great opening segment, Poussin, and I'm intrigued enough to read on further.
LabRat
