[Chapter 9: Reconcile]Clark entered his apartment for the first time since what felt like forever.
He took a deep breath and relaxed. It was good to be home. Well, second home.
He went further in and spotted that his answering machine had a flashing light. A message.
Moseying over, he pressed play.
“Clark? It's Lois. I, uh, if you see Superman, could you let him know I need to see him right away? It’s important. Thanks.” Her voice cracked, and he immediately could tell she was on the verge of crying.
At that, she hung up.
He had been gone for two days. When had she called?
He quickly checked and was relieved it was just earlier that same day.
He frowned. She sounded really upset.
Should he go to her as Clark or Superman?
Maybe he could go to her as Clark and assess the situation and then go from there?
He really needed to tell her the truth, and he didn’t want to do it as Superman.
With his mind made up, he hurried out and appeared in the alleyway behind her apartment. He then ran at human speed up to her door.
O o O o O
Lois took a deep breath. She didn't think she had any more tears. After leaving the doctor's office, she had thought long and hard – between many bouts of weeping sessions – and called Clark the next morning.
Fortunately or unfortunately, he hadn't been home, so she had left what she hoped was a coherent message.
She glanced at the clock, grateful Perry had given her Friday off when she had called and assured him she was healthy – she just needed to take it easy for a few days. He had heartily agreed and told her to stay home before she even had to ask.
Hopefully Clark would get the message to Superman before she headed back to work Monday.
She got up and made herself a cup of hot cocoa. She knew caffeine was supposedly not good for the baby, so figured hot cocoa would be a good (or at least decent) replacement for coffee. Not that she found coffee all that appetizing at the moment.
Her aversion to the coffee suddenly made so much sense, not to mention all her snacking.
She sat down with her mug and took a sip, before she heard a knock on her door.
Not sure who it might be, she got up and glanced at her reflection in the nearby window. Relieved she looked halfway decent, she went to the door.
"Coming!" she said, before looking through the peephole.
It was Clark.
Quickly opening the door, she stepped back and tried to remain calm.
Had he gotten her message? Had he spoken with Superman?
"Hi," she said at the same time as Clark.
They smiled uncertainly at each other.
She let him in.
"I, uh, wanted to make sure you were okay and, uh, tell you something. Um, are you okay?" he asked.
She closed the door behind him.
She bit her lip and tried not to think about whether or not she was okay. Because she didn't know. Instead, she focused on wondering what Clark wanted to tell her and if he had gotten her message.
"What is it?" she asked, avoiding the question. "Did you see Superman? Is he okay?"
"Yes, he's fine, but, if you're okay, I really need to talk to you about something . . . please," he said, pressing forward and not commenting on her not answering his question. She was grateful.
"Did he send you?" she asked softly, leading them into her living room and sitting down on the couch. He sat beside her.
"I'm here for my own reasons as much as his. Please, Lois, this is important."
"Okay, Clark," she said, confused and now worried.
"I think it'd be best if you just listen and wait to talk until I'm done. It shouldn't take me long to say what I need to say, but I don't know if I'll be able to finish if you interrupt me, okay?"
Lois slowly nodded, now afraid of what he was going to say. It was rare to see Clark this serious.
He took a deep breath, appearing just as fearful as she felt.
"I know I've been different since the . . . Miranda mess, but it's not for the reasons you likely think. And before I go on I want to make clear that I'm not angry or upset anymore. I've accepted what happened and I've forgiven you," he said.
She began to open her mouth, unnerved and bewildered by his words, but his pointed look silenced her.
"I've thought long and hard about how to tell you this, and I realized drawing it out is pointless. Just remember, I'm still me," he said, taking off his glasses.
She was too concerned about what he was about to say to process him removing his glasses as he made eye contact with her. The world stilled as he took hold of her hand that was within reach. She didn't pull away.
"Lois, I made you a promise a long time ago, and then again a few days ago. I promised you I would show and tell you everything. Everything I keep secret from the world," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Please let me know when you're ready to hear it all."
"Kal-El . . . ?" she asked in a strained whisper, her eyes wide.
He nodded, even as her head swam with the implications.
It was too much to sort, so she didn't try as realization upon realization surged like the tide, again and again.
Clark's abrupt distance after that horrible day. She had been too buried by her own feelings to really wonder about it. And then later she had just assumed his awkwardness was due to him likely knowing what had happened between her and Superman.
But she had been wrong. He had been hurting.
Hurting and hiding his pain as best he could.
She had hurt the two most important men in her life. And they were the same man.
And she already knew why he hadn't told her the truth before now.
Lord, she had screwed up so much.
But he had somehow forgiven her.
She didn't bother to even try to contain her tears as she launched herself at him and held onto him as if her life depended on it. Maybe it did.
"Oh, gawd, I'm so sorry, Clark, I'm so sorry!" she gasped, pulling back just enough to look at him as she placed her hands on either side of his face before hugging him again.
He hugged her back, holding her tenderly and close.
"I've forgiven you. It's behind us," he said.
This man. He had just saved the entire world and, here he was, extending so much mercy and grace. . . . He might not be human, but he had more humanity in his pinky than most people had in their whole bodies.
And she was the mother of his child.
Her.
She tightly closed her eyes as she recognized another reality.
She was carrying Clark's baby, not just Superman's.
She had to tell him now.
What would he do?
She didn't think he would just abandon her, but how much could one person take?
She clung to him, too emotionally spent to care that she was trembling.
"Are you okay?" he asked as her tears slowed and she was merely weepy.
She shook her head, trying to gather herself enough to talk. He held her in silence, patiently waiting for her hiccups to pass.
"What did you need to see me about?" he asked after another moment. "Your message. It seemed . . . important."
"It is," she said. "But I don't know how to tell you. After everything, you've even forgiven me for what I did. I don't know how to tell you this."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"The milk. It wasn't bad," she said, looking down, her brain for some reason latching onto that detail.
"What?" he asked, so baffled, he couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of her reaction to him drinking her sour milk in his coffee and the absurdity of her bringing it up now.
"It was me. I mean, I can't stand coffee anymore," she said, forcing down the knot in her throat.
"Lois, I'm confused. You're not making any sense. You mean the coffee was bad?" he asked, utterly bewildered about what this could even be about.
"No, I'm sorry. I'm trying to tell you . . . I'm . . . . " She floundered, before she recalled something he had told her all those months ago. "Can you focus your hearing? Do you hear anything . . . different?"
"Where?" he asked, even more confused by the random request.
"In me," she said, before holding her breath.
He frowned but tilted his head, and she was struck by the image. How many times had he tilted his head like that, only to disappear? How many times had he heard something in her presence that required his attention as Superman?
It was mind boggling.
She stared at him, waiting for what she was sure would come.
His eyes widened and her heart clenched in hope and tentative relief at his expression.
It was one of astonished wonder and joy.
"Are you . . . are you pregnant?" he asked so quietly she barely heard him.
She nodded. "Are you . . . happy?"
His eyes filled with tears as he positively beamed.
"I'm a dad. . . ." He reverently touched her stomach. "I'm a dad."
"Yeah." Her voice cracked.
He looked at her, so overwhelmed he couldn't speak.
"I know . . . I know the circumstances are . . . not great, but—" she said nervously.
"The circumstances don't matter," he stated confidently. "Because this is a new life. Lois, you're growing a new person inside of you!" he exclaimed, bursting with excitement. "Our child."
Lois laughed and was suddenly crying tears of joy.
"I love you," she said earnestly.
He kissed her forehead, his hands on her side and hip, pulling her closer. However, before things got too heated he pulled back and just held her.
"I've loved you since the first time I saw you and have never stopped," he said, his forehead on hers.
"Will you marry me, Clark?" she asked.
She knew she would never find anyone like him and that no one would ever love her as much as he did. She also knew she could never love anyone as much as she loved him. But love wasn’t the only reason.
She wanted to give this child what she hadn't had growing up: a loving, devoted family. And while she wasn't sure if she was mother material, she knew Clark would be a great dad, and his folks would be amazing grandparents. From them, she'd figure it out.
He almost gaped at her in surprise, before he smiled softly at her.
"Yes," he said simply, before cupping her cheek with his hand and slowly bringing his lips to hers.
She nervously returned his advance, in disbelief of his quick acceptance of her impromptu marriage proposal, but so
so happy.
Her hesitancy soon evaporated as the kiss progressed, his love undeniably present in every caress as she was intensely reminded of how good he was at kissing. Memories of that night flashed in her mind's eye and she blushed as his hand slid up into her hair just as it had all those months ago.
He eased back, looking content.
They exchanged shy smiles before she shifted on the couch and allowed herself to rest against him.
"I, uh, have an appointment next week," she said after a moment. "Could you go with me?" She felt silly for asking, but she needed to hear his answer.
"Of course!" he said, giving her a slight squeeze.
"Do you, I mean, do you know what we should expect? I mean, with the pregnancy?" she asked hesitantly.
Clark went still.
"Actually, no. I, uh, don't know much about Kryptonians, or anything really. I came here as a baby, and only discovered where I came from when I found that globe," he admitted.
"You didn't know until then?!" she asked, astonished. "Oh. 'It's the not knowing that kills you'," she recalled, quoting him from a conversation they had had at work so long ago that it felt like a lifetime away.
"Yeah. Would you, would you like me to share what I do know? Or would that be too much, too soon?" he asked.
Tentatively, she smiled at him. "I think we're passed that being a valid reason to hold back," she said, hand on her stomach. "Please, I want to know everything."
"Then let's go to Smallville. The globe is there."
She perked up and got up from the couch, allowing him to stand up.
"I've always wanted to do this in front of you," he said, stepping away from her.
She gasped as he spun in place, blurring in color, before stopping before her in his suit - his cape swooshing behind him.
"Wow!"
He grinned. He approached her and she gazed up at him.
Knowing and seeing were two different things.
"I'm still me," he said self-consciously.
"I know," she said softly, touching his shield.
This was real. She wasn't dreaming.
"Your mother really made this?" she asked, though it was hardly a question.
"She makes all of my suits," he said, his voice soft.
She inwardly blanched as a thought came to mind.
"Do they . . . do they know?" She looked up at him, resigned.
"Yes. They know enough, as well as how much you helped me when I returned," he said gently.
She rested her cheek against his emblem, trying not to tear up. She didn't deserve him.
He suddenly hugged her. "They're going to be thrilled about being grandparents!" he declared, absolutely giddy.
She pulled back in disbelief.
Had the circumstances been different, she would have found the image before her hilarious.
Superman, as hyper as a sugar high child.
Instead, all she could think about was how his parents should be furious with her, even disgusted that her selfish, short-sighted, impulsive choice had hurt their son so deeply and resulted in an unplanned pregnancy.
She knew if her parents found out wha—
She cringed. Lord, she would have to tell her parents at some point.
Okay, maybe she could avoid telling them about the circumstances, but even then, the pregnancy couldn't be hidden. They would know she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock--not that they were particularly religious, but it was the image they cared about.
"Lois?" Clark, Superman, Kal-El, asked.
"My parents are going to be appalled," she whispered. "Mother will–"
"Lois, we can't control what other people think or feel. Try not to dwell too much on any negative reactions people might have, no matter who they are. How they feel is their problem; don't let it be yours too," he stated. "This is our life, our child. We're . . . we're a family now."
Her eyes filled up and overflowed.
He was right.
"Okay," she said.
They then went to the window.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"I'm going to move fast until we're out of Metropolis. We're going to need to be more careful from now on," he said, suddenly serious.
She nodded in understanding.
Things were different now.
And she knew a lot of other things would soon change.
At that, they shot out the window and it closed in their wake.
Thus closing the first chapter of their lives and starting the next.
.
.
To be continued in: Sol.
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