This is the sequel to my story Live Another Day.
I don't think it's absolutely necessary to read that before starting with this one. Unlike LAD, this story has no A-Plot. Several people wondered how the Lois and Clark from this AU would ever become lovers. I'm trying to explore this here. There are no major whams, and mostly a lot of WAFFiness, but the atmosphere is slightly dark. So consider yourself warned.
If you haven't read the original story or want a brief reminder, see the spoiler for more information.
Clark was raised by the Kents, but Bureau 39 knows about his excistence and take him into custody at an age of about twelve. They train him (with the help of Kryptonite) to be a one man intelligence service. But as they find out he's an alien, Trask convinces the PTBs that Clark should be killed. Nightfall saves his life, when he is sent to rescue the world. He pretends to be dead afterwards and now is drifting in a limbo, terrfied that anyone, including his parents, will hate him because he's an alien.. Scardino (whom he once saved) asks him to investigate Luthor and Clark goes undercover. The first time he meets Lois is while he and his fellow goons (the Shamrock of Horrors) plant the bomb in the Daily Planet. He abducts her, but tries to keep her safe while also protecting his secret. Lois soon notices that there is something odd about her captor. While inexplicable sparks fly, our favorite couple slowly learns to trust each other. They combine their forces to bring down Luthor. In the end, Clark is forced to reveal his secret and the two start a tentative friendship.
Thanks to ksarasara for her invaluable beta.
License To Love
Part 1It had been a long day. Lois failed to stifle a yawn that almost cracked her jaw as she busied herself with the locks of her apartment door. It was open as soon as she'd turned the key in the first one. Instantly, she froze. Someone was inside. A surge of panic swept through her as her imagination ran wild with possible threats that might be looming behind that door.
Her hand trembled as it hovered just above the door knob. Should she have a look? Or try to call Clark? Clark! Lois gave herself a mental slap on her forehead as she suddenly remembered that she'd given him her spare key the other week. She felt like a fool.
Her fear was immediately replaced by a rush of excitement. Was he actually visiting her? She hadn't expected to see him for another two days, since they usually met twice, sometimes three times a week. The days in between dragged on endlessly, and the better she got to know Clark, the more she missed him when he wasn’t with her. So this was a pleasant surprise.
A tiny voice in the back of her mind told her to be cautious. It sounded so much like Clark that she couldn't help but grin.
Trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, she slowly opened the door and peeked around it into her living room, ready to take on any attacker who might be lurking there. But her visitor was Clark all right, snoring lightly on one of her loveseats. He lay at an awkward angle, his frame entirely too large for her sofa. Though his position couldn’t be comfortable, he looked so peaceful that Lois was helpless against the warm and fuzzy feeling filling her. A million butterflies fluttered through her insides, leaving a pleasant sense of contentment in their wake.
And at the same time, her heart went out to him. She was fairly sure that he hadn’t planned on succumbing to exhaustion in her living room. He usually fought off sleep until he could no longer keep his eyes open, which was what had doubtlessly happened here. Lois swallowed down the small sigh of disappointment that wanted to escape her lips. She longed to talk to him. Actually, she wanted to do so much more than that.
She pushed that thought away. It didn’t matter that he was asleep. She could later ask him if he'd made any progress on the plans he kept alluding to. She was dying to know what he was up to.
Lois couldn’t believe he was really here. A full blown smile spread across her lips. Her heart fluttered excitedly. It twitched only slightly as it occurred to Lois that maybe he was here because he had bad news for her. Another thought she pushed away firmly. Surely, he wouldn't look this peaceful if he was planning on saying goodbye to her, would he?
She hadn't expected that he'd follow her invitation to deepen their friendship. Despite the fact that he was slowly letting his guard down with her, Clark was still withdrawn and unassuming. He’d been so reluctant to accept her keys that she hadn't dared to hope he would take her up on her offer to visit her whenever he felt like it.
Lois slipped out of her shoes and tiptoed toward the sleeping man. There was no denying the fact that she was in love with him. She’d spent months trying to convince herself that it was too early for that, that the extreme circumstances under which they’d met forbade making any rash decisions concerning her feelings for him. But she was just helpless against them. For a brief moment, Lois allowed herself to give all those tightly bottled up emotions free reign in her chest. It swelled until she felt about ready to explode. With a wistful expression, she knelt down beside him, fighting the urge to brush a stray lock out of his face. The ghost of a smile played around his lips. For once, he seemed to be having a pleasant dream. That, at least, was some improvement.
Lois loved the sight of his lips. Vividly, she remembered the two times she'd kissed him. That had been almost six months ago. One time to soothe him and one time to wish him good luck. The two kisses they had shared had barely been more than brief pecks. And then he'd been too stunned to return them. But her lips still tingled with the memory. Oh, how she wished that she could kiss him again. That she could kiss him for real.
But would he even want that? She wasn’t sure. He’d told her once that he, too, felt this strange connection between them. But had he meant it the same way she did? Or did she just hope that he harbored deeper feelings for her, because she so desperately wanted to taste his lips again? Because she thought that she was going to wither like a plant without water if he never touched her again.
The physical attraction she felt toward Clark was scarily intense. Something she’d never experienced before. And she would have dismissed the idea if anyone had told her she would ever feel that way about a man. The few intimate encounters she’d had with Paul or Claude had never sparked even a shred of the flames she felt burning inside her when Clark’s hand accidentally brushed against her arm. Or when he smiled at her with those warm brown eyes. When his chest rumbled with laughter or when he listened to her ranting about one story or another. And he never seemed to grow tired of her.
In six short months, Clark had become her friend and advisor, her soundboard and the one person she knew she could turn to whenever she needed someone to listen. In short, he was the best friend she’d ever had. And the man she was madly in love with. She spent hours dreaming about him, hoping against hope that he’d confess his undying love for her. But so far, he hadn’t. And sadly, she wasn’t sure he ever would.
Scardino’s words from many months ago reverberated through her mind.
< I’m sorry. It’s just… Look, I don’t want to see you hurt. Clark may be a good man, but I don’t believe he’ll ever be interested in you or any other woman for that matter.>
<You mean he’s gay?>
<Actually, I’m not sure he’s anything at all.>Could it be true? That Clark wasn’t interested in her, sexually, because he was from another planet? They’d never really talked about their feelings for each other. When they’d kissed, their friendship had still been so fresh and new. And the circumstances had been ludicrous – Clark had abducted her, even threatened to rape her. It had all been a ruse, part of his efforts to keep her safe and his plan to expose Luthor for who he really was. Lois hadn’t known that at first. But she’d soon discovered Clark’s gentle soul behind the mask.
Her own lips started to tingle as she watched him, urging her to steal a kiss from him that she knew he wouldn't give voluntarily. But tempted as she was, she couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair and she was so very scared that he wouldn't forgive that kind of transgression. What they had was still so new, and so difficult to define. She didn’t want to risk what she hoped would someday become a relationship because of one moment of weakness.
So Lois tried to content herself with watching her sleeping friend. He’d become a lot more relaxed around her ever since they’d forged a tentative friendship, ever since she had learned about his secret. She was still in awe of all those strange and wonderful things he could do. And her heart went out to him every time she saw him struggle whenever he felt like he had no place in this world.
But things were looking up for Clark. She had been able to convince him that he didn’t have to continue leading the life of a ghost. He’d even agreed to meet Inspector Henderson again. Lois had argued that several months had passed since Henderson had watched him get shot and that it wouldn’t look odd if he turned up healed after such a long time. The inspector had actually been delighted to see Clark again and had practically offered him a job at the precinct. Clark had declined. Instead, he was holding down two jobs to earn his keep. Most days, he spent working at the local library, sorting books. And during the night he was helping unload ships at the docks.
When he wasn't working, he had used his unique skills to help her with some investigations and had quietly admitted to Lois that he, too, would like to find his place in a journalism career. He’d studied at a distance university during his time at Bureau 39, earning himself a degree in American literature. Now he was taking journalism courses as well, hoping that Perry White would one day agree to give him a job. Lois, who had read several of the things he had written so far, had no doubt about that. Actually, there was nothing she would rather do than work with him side by side.
Clark’s upper body gradually slipped into a lying position. He didn’t stir. Then he turned in his sleep, inching dangerously close to the sofa’s edge.
Startled, Lois scrambled back. If he moved just a bit more, he would fall. She didn’t know what to do. Try to wake him? Try to nudge him back into a safer position? Before she’d made up her mind, Clark turned again. Lois gasped. He didn’t fall, though.
Clark was hovering about two feet above the ground. Completely stunned, Lois took a few steps back until she ended up collapsing on the second loveseat.
Though she’d known that he could fly, actually seeing him do it still made her breathless. He didn’t usually display his powers in front of her. A few times, he’d taken her flying when she’d asked him to. Other than that, he made it a point to appear as normal around her as he possibly could. She wasn’t quite sure if that was because hiding who he was had become second nature, or if he didn’t want to overwhelm her with all the strange things he could do. She remembered how troubled he’d been when he’d told her about his abilities, how ashamed of himself.
She wished he could see himself the way she saw him. And she wanted to hurt the monster who’d done that to him and who still haunted him in his nightmares.
Blissfully ignorant of Lois’ dark thoughts, Clark still hovered in mid-air. He was floating closer to her, the smile on his lips becoming broader. Lois held her breath, watching him in awe as he slowly drifted toward her, his eyes rapidly moving under his eyelids as he was continuing to dream. It relieved her that for once, he didn’t seem to be having one of those awful dreams about Trask.
Lois yawned again as her own tiredness caught up with her. She stretched, lay down on the other loveseat and curled herself up. Clark was hovering next to her, sleeping on his back, his body nearly level with her own. She could faintly smell his aftershave. Her heart clenched wistfully as she imagined herself sleeping next to him, one of his strong arms protectively wrapped around her. It might never happen, but what the heck, a girl could dream.
Once again he shifted his position, rolling onto his side until he was facing her. And before Lois knew what was happening, his lips were on hers. Warm, velvet lips hungrily sought out her mouth. He gently suckled on her lower lip and let his tongue flicker against hers. The world around her seemed to come to a halt. Never before in her life had she been kissed like this, with such passion and care. The soft whiff of his breath caressed her as his tongue timidly probed her mouth, searching hers to dance with, but never intruding beyond what she felt comfortable with. She lost herself in the sensation of his lips on hers and the taste of him that she faintly remembered from the chaste kisses that paled in comparison to what she was experiencing right now.
Warm hands stroked her arms and shoulders, roamed her back and trailed over her belly in small circular motions. Sparks of electricity ran through her body, making her hyper-aware of every inch of her body he touched. It wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. She wanted to feel more of him, skin to skin. She craved his warmth and the gentle pressure of his weight on her.
Desperately, she deepened the kiss, hungry for more of what she’d never really expected to get. A low moan escaped her throat as she rolled onto her back and guided him to float above her. She wished that this moment would never end, that she’d never have to open her eyes again to find herself lonely and without his arms around her.
And while she enjoyed being closer to him than he’d ever let her, a sense of guilt filled her, tainting this moment of pure bliss. She knew very well that he wasn’t consciously giving himself to her. Clark was still sound asleep, his passionate kisses were a result of whatever wonderful dream he was having.
For all she knew, he might be kissing a fantasy woman, perhaps one who was Kryptonian like him, and would thus understand him on a deeper level than Lois ever could. Krypton might have been destroyed and all his fellow Kryptonians with it. But in dreams, everything was possible. Dreams were curious like that.
She needed to wake him, much as that pained her. They needed to stop this, before it could get out of hand, before she did anything to him that he would regret.
She broke their kiss with a wistful moan. He rolled them around, before she even had a chance to speak. Now she was lying on top of him, secure in his strong arms. They drifted upward. With a start, she realized that Clark, too, was obviously affected by their intense kisses. She felt her cheeks flush and couldn’t help another rush of excitement fueling her desire for him. His hands wandered up her body, slipping underneath her shirt, coming to rest on the swell of her breasts. Her breath caught. She wanted this man, like she’d never wanted anyone in her life. Oh, if only he were awake.
Suddenly, everything changed. Clark withdrew his hands, as if he’d burned himself. Gone was the smile on his lips. Instead, his brows furrowed and his lips twitched until he appeared troubled. He moved again, growing restless, tossing and turning in his sleep as if fighting against invisible restraints. She let out a startled yelp as he moved under her, restlessly. Beads of sweat were pooling on his forehead.
For a moment, Lois expected that she’d fall. But he wrapped his arms around her again and held her close to his chest. His grip on her was firm, but still gentle, even as he otherwise thrashed about.
She held onto him. His increasing restlessness was beginning to scare her. “Clark, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
He didn’t seem to hear her. Low groans escaped from deep within his throat. “No. No.”
His thrashing became more intense. Then it suddenly stopped, and he plummeted down as if someone had cut the invisible chords that were holding him in mid-air.
“Clark!” Lois cried. “Wake up!”
He broke their fall a mere inch from hitting the ground. His eyes were wide open, speaking volumes about the terror that had invaded his dreams. Her heart clenched in sympathy and now she couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead, wishing that she could literally kiss away his pain. Then she rolled off his chest to give him some space.
Clark blinked a few times, seeming a bit disoriented. As he recognized her face, he flinched and scrambled up from where he was lying on the floor, trying to get some distance between her and himself. His breath came in panting gasps. His hands were trembling and Lois realized with a pang of worry how very pale he looked.
“Lois,” he ground out.
His voice was thick with emotion. He sounded deeply shocked. Was he angry at her, because she had taken advantage of him? Lois wasn't sure, but she couldn't help but cringe.
***
He was kissing Lois in his dreams, tasting her intoxicating velvet lips. His hands roamed her slender body, touching every last inch of skin he could find without undressing her. It was so easy to lose himself in all these wonderful sensations. Hearing her soft moans as he explored her body made him bolder than he had ever expected to be. He wanted her, wanted her so badly that he thought it might tear him apart. Wanted to hold her, kiss her and lavish her with all the love he was capable of.
It couldn’t be enough, of course. Nothing he could do or say would ever suffice to express how he felt about her. But if he could show her just a fraction of the desire running through him, just a tiny spark of the love that was burning inside him, perhaps she would understand how special she was to him. He longed to make gentle love to the woman who was the heart and soul of his life, if only in his dreams. Because in reality, he’d never get the chance. He could never ask for that to happen, much as he wanted it.
His kisses grew hungrier. He let his hands travel across her belly, finding the hem of her shirt. She wasn’t protesting as his fingers slipped underneath the fabric and found the swell of her breasts. But as he looked into her eyes, hoping they would reflect the same desire he felt, the dream changed violently.
Instead, he was writhing on the floor again, weakened by the deathly green glow of the rocks that had once been part of his home planet. Trask was looming over him, bringing the crystal even closer to his face. Clark felt the overwhelming pain that set every last cell of his body on fire.
"How dare you even think about touching that woman with your dirty alien hands?” Trask's face was contorted with rage. Clark pulled his hands back, as if he’d burned himself.
Lois crawled away from him, pulling her shirt down and taking shelter behind Trask’s broad shoulders. She looked so very frightened that it tore at Clark’s heart. He would have liked to comfort her, but the pain was so intense he could hardly move.
Trask moved in on Clark, pressing the glowing stone to his skin until he screamed in agony. “What makes you think the lady could be anything but disgusted by you, you sorry piece of scum? You invade our planet, you steal our women and expect us to sit idly while the world as we know it perishes?" Trask shook his head. His lips were a tight line and his eyes gleamed with pure hatred. "Well, I'm not just going to watch you. I'll fight you and every single one of your co-conspirators until we're free of you."
"I'm not part of a conspiracy. All I want is someone who loves me," Clark whispered.
Trask threw his head back and laughed. "Who could ever love the likes of you?" A cruel smirk played around his lips as he once again brought the stone close to his face.
He turned to Lois. “What do you say? Fancy the alien, do you?”
Lois’ eyes were wide, her nose wrinkled in disgust. “You mean sleep with him? Ugh, that’s gross. He’s not even human. Having sex with that thing would be…"
Trask's smirk was beyond cruel. "I think the term you're looking for is perverse. Though I must admit that a few other expressions come to mind."
He bent forward, whispering every single one of them into Clark's ear.
“Clark, you're having a nightmare." Her voice was soft, almost inaudible compared to Trask's taunting.
But then he heard her terrified scream.
He was yanked out of his dream, dropping down like a stone, Lois cradled to his chest.
She yelled at him. “Clark! Wake up!”
He stared at her with wide eyes. His thoughts were a jumble, but somehow he managed to catch himself at the last moment. His heart was pounding in his chest and his breath came in panting gasps. The terror of the nightmare was still fresh in his mind. His muscles still seemed to be sore from lingering dreamt up exposure to the deadly green crystal.
But aside from his discomfort, he was acutely aware of the woman in his arms, her soft feminine scent, intermingled with remnants of fear. He felt her chest rapidly rising and falling against his. She was so delicate, so soft and inviting. Her tender lips were inches from his, seemingly begging him to kiss her again. And kiss him, she did. A soft peck, placed on his forehead, sending his rampant emotions spiraling out of control.
She rolled off of him.
Off of him?
He realized with a start, that this wasn’t a dream. How had she ended up atop of him? Had he – had the things he’d dreamt about actually happened for real? Why had she been scared? Of him? Because she’d been cradled to his chest when he’d plummeted to the floor? Had he hurt her? Or worse?
He panicked.
With a jolt, Clark sat straight, scrambling backward. Would Lois be able to guess what his dream had been about? He blushed furiously and his breath still came in panting gasps.
"Lois," he croaked, startled.
to be continued...
