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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
She was right; he hadn't realized how much he'd needed the sun until he he'd been deprived of it. And I hadn't realized how much I needed this story until I was deprived of it, either, so it's great to have you back!!!  But Lois doesn't understand why he's asking for sunlight. I don't remember, Sara, but is it true that Lois in you story doesn't know that Clark gets his powers from the Earth's yellow sun? Anyway, she does his bidding. And I really like these two paragraphs: Lois looked slightly puzzled for a moment, but then stood and headed towards the window anyway. "I guess I sorta miss the sun, too," she commented as she drew the blinds open to let in the early morning sun. "You don't even realize you miss it until you've been away from it too long."
The rays began to soak in. An inner warmth rushed through him, as if he'd stood too quickly. She was right; he hadn't realized how much he'd needed the sun until he'd been deprived of it. Well, that's the second time I quoted that last sentence, but it fits your story so well, you know? As for Elle, I can't care about her as much as I care about Lois and Clark, but I wish her well - and Pete, too! And really, things are looking up for him, just like they are looking up for Clark: Agent Romero is still in surgery, but the doctors think he should be fine. Good! And things are looking up for Elle, too. She's going to be questioned by Henderson. Well, if I had done something I was nervous about, I sure know which cop I'd like to question me - and his initials are B.H.! Good! You are moving this towards a happy ending. Ah, Sara, you know what I think about happy endings, don't you?  Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Welcome back! Pete still alive. Good, I like him and Elle! More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
I'm so glad that you're back Sara! This story is like riding a bicycle... I'm anxiously awaiting the next part. It's been awesome, especially the part where Elle fights her feelings for Pete. 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77 |
Sara!! I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are posting again. You know how much I love this story. I have certainly been missing it over the last couple of months, so when I saw the new part today I almost squealed in excitement. Anyway, on with the comments: But he knew now. Oh, yes. They didn't work. Hadn't worked. He could still feel the scalpels, forceps, needles... all of which may as well have been more bullets. He could still feel a phantom knife digging for the bullet. Pushing and ripping. Muscle and flesh. He'd screamed, yelled, managed to crush the metal side rail they'd let him hang on to with his left hand before he'd passed out from the pain. I get the impression that you indulged your inner sadist with this passage.  It was very vivid and very powerful. I could almost feel some of Clark’s pain myself while reading this part. What if it'd just been too much? What if there was a limit to how much he could handle before his powers just didn't come back at all? What if... See aforementioned sadist comment. However, you did have some very nice passages as well. "S-sun," he stammered instead of nodding. "I need sunlight." "I guess I sorta miss the sun, too," she commented as she drew the blinds open to let in the early morning sun. She continued, her voice quiet, almost distant. "You don't even realize you miss it until you've been away from it too long." The rays began to soak in. An inner warmth rushed through him, a slight tingling that left him lightheaded, as if he'd stood too quickly. She was right; he hadn't realized how much he'd needed the sun until he'd been deprived of it. These lines are so great because they not only describe the literal healing effects of the sun, but the metaphorical ones as well. Finally, after so much suffering Lois and Clark are not “away from the sun” anymore. Together, their lives are no longer dark and bleak. Sappy as it sounds, they are each other’s “suns” metaphorically speaking. It is such a good metaphor and a lovely tie-in to the title of the story. How delightfully English major of you. I can’t wait until Saturday to read the next part! -Em P.S. I’ll believe 34 parts when I see it.
"But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all."
-Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windermere's Fan"
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41 |
Thank you all for such a warm welcome back!  I'm so glad that you're back Sara! This story is like riding a bicycle... Aww! Thanks, Sheila!  Sara!! I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are posting again. You know how much I love this story. I have certainly been missing it over the last couple of months, so when I saw the new part today I almost squealed in excitement. Awww!  I get the impression that you indulged your inner sadist with this passage. It was very vivid and very powerful. I could almost feel some of Clark’s pain myself while reading this part. LOL! I did indeed, but it was actually more of a case of indulging my sadistic beta. I've trained Dave almost too well. Just think, back during Wherever You Will Go, he was ready to put poor alt Clark into the witness protection program. Now he keeps asking for more pain. I'm glad you're enjoying the symbolism and tie-ins. P.S. I’ll believe 34 parts when I see it. You know... all I'm gonna say is... It's Dave's fault. (Or the Muse's, but it's more fun to blame things on Dave, yeah?  ) Part 31 up soon! Sara
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Wow, I think I have Away from the Sun Posting Whiplash! So long with no posts, keeping us waiting desperately for more, and then before I can post on a much-awaited new part, BAM, you post another! And that, by the way, is NOT a complaint! You've just made me feel behind (which is not a strange feeling for me, actually) Okay, Sara.... this was a *fantastic* part, right from the beginning... Clark dragged his eyes open and looked around blearily. Pain. Shoulder. Hospital. Pain. Doctors asking questions. Surgery. Asking questions about surgery. And how they should do it. They had asked if drugs would work. Pain killers, anesthetics... anything. Because they'd been worried about adverse effects, not knowing what a Kryptonian might react to, might develop complications from, might die from. Well, he hadn't known either.
He'd told them to try. Strong drugs. Something. Anything to stop the pain. I love your style and how it symbolizes Clark's state of mind. Choppy sentences. One word sentences. Repeating certain words. And we get from it: confusion, pain, feeling that Clark is so lost right now, and scared, too. So... Nice. And then this, so horrifying... He could still feel a phantom knife digging for the bullet. Pushing and ripping. Muscle and flesh. He'd screamed, yelled, managed to crush the metal side rail they'd let him hang on to with his left hand before he'd passed out from the pain. ... that is AWFUL! And I'm trying to block the image out, and the sick feelings it conjures up, but I can't! I'm suffering right there with him, feeling for him, and how horrible that must be! And I have to applaud that you've brought this - gulp, god-awful - moment completely to life for me, even if I've tried to just skim over it, lightly, thinking, "no big deal. Sara will give us a happy ending surely, so this should not upset me. At all. Uh-uh." But it does! And in that quote, I looooove the word "phantom", because that is the trigger word for me, for my intense reaction to the entire moment. A "phantom knife" - but the feelings, so painful and real, it's... I don't know. Wow. Great. Not even when he was lying there just as vulnerable as the next guy. An ordinary guy... but so far from being human.
Damn the irony. I had to smile at that last line!! But a sad smile, because this, to me, is so sad here. He's not super. Never normal. So where is his place in the world now? Not like everyone else, not his usual very special person either. "Damn the irony." I can feel something twisting inside of me, imagining how he must feel now. Really nice touch. Adds a humor to the intense situation, but not completely. It kind of emphasizes the buried (and not-so-buried) pain even more. And then on the Elle and Pete end!!... What the hell did her heart know? Everyone knew that relationships built on time spent together in dangerous situations never worked. That was the classic movie cliché. It just didn’t fly in real life.
Not that she’d been entertaining the idea. She hadn’t. Elle cleared her throat. Nope, she was merely waiting for Pete because... ... well, I think *I* can guess why <g>. I love the way you've developed her. Them. I'm so eager to see if they become a classic movie cliche (I, personally, LOVE movie cliches!) Honestly, Sara, this was such a great part! So many great things going on at once, so many emotions surfacing after all the intensity from before. /me rushes over to see the next part!!! ~NICOLE
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