Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic License To Love - Part 6

After a long day at work Clark closed the door of his apartment and rested his back against it. If his emotions hadn’t been turbulent before, they most definitely were now. He took a deep breath before he pushed himself off the door and shrugged out of his shoes and jacket. He glanced at his watch. Still a few hours left before he was supposed to meet Lois for their first real date. He had to admit, he was nervous.

Clark’s thoughts drifted back to the evening before. After the rather awkward first half of the evening, they had managed to slip into an easy conversation. Lois had told him about her work and he’d given her an account of the few rescues he had managed so far. Much to his relief, it seemed like no one was suspecting a thing. But once again, Clark had forgotten to give her the article he'd been meaning to show her yesterday. Well, perhaps tonight.

When it had been time to say goodbye, Clark had given her a kiss on her cheek. He'd managed not to float, though his senses had been flooded by her soft scent and the incredible feeling of her cheek against his lips. Clark closed his eyes, allowing himself to relive the memory. His desire for her sparked again. He grimaced.

It wasn’t the first time today that his thoughts had drifted in that direction. His night shift at the docks had kept him occupied, mostly anyway. But his day job had left him more time to let his mind wander. At least, he’d managed not to float through the corridors of the library. That would have been more than just a little embarrassing.

Clark had mainly chosen his day job because it allowed him to read literally everything that caught his interest. While he was sorting books and checking the returns, he could speed read through them. And with his eidetic memory, he pretty much remembered everything he read. After he’d spent a little more than half his life under tight observation in a military compound, he was glad for the opportunity to catch up on everything he’d missed.

Today, he’d spent most of his time trying to increase at least his theoretical knowledge of intimacy. Now he knew pretty much everything there was to know about the male and female anatomy, the options regarding birth control and the various stages of making love, from touching and kissing to intercourse.

While the books he’d found in the library had given abundant detail of bodily functions, they had merely touched upon the emotional component, if it had been mentioned at all. Unfortunately, the latter was what had interested him most. So, after work, Clark had spent some time in a book shop that offered literature with more graphic details.

After he’d left the shop, he’d been faced with two serious problems.

First off, he was seriously aroused.

It had been a slight effort to stay grounded throughout several very detailed descriptions of lovemaking. Admittedly, he’d been tempted to simply buy the books and spare himself the humiliation. But he’d figured that he needed the training. Though, since Lois hadn't been anywhere near him, his accomplishment really didn't mean much of anything.

Secondly, he felt thoroughly desperate, because there really was no way he - a complete novice - had a chance of making Lois feel the way that had been described in the books. She deserved so much more than what he could offer her.

Well, technically it was possible to take care of problem number one. He groaned. Though, honestly, the mere thought made his cheeks flush with embarrassment. Clark pinched the bridge of his nose. A tiny voice in the back of his mind wondered if his discomfort with his own sexuality had been a result of the way he'd been treated mainly by Trask, but also by Newcomb.

That probably hadn't even been their intention, though Trask would surely welcome the effect. In the end, that really was a moot point. He couldn't allow them to rule his life any longer than they already had. He needed to break free. And even though intimacy was just a small part of freedom, it seemed the most difficult one to tackle. Intimacy wasn't just about himself, it was about Lois, too.

If he only knew a way to determine whether it would be safe for Lois to be with him. He was invulnerable and thus couldn't hurt himself. So how was he going to find out if Lois could be safe with him?

He really was a lost cause.

Clark let out a small groan as he walked further into the room. He needed to get a grip. There was still time to find a solution. Lois had assured him she was fine with taking things slowly.

Now, he should concentrate on hitting the shower and getting ready for his date. It wasn’t like he was going to make love to Lois tonight, anyway. So he should just stop worrying about it. All they would do was eat dinner, chat and watch a movie together. There wouldn’t be more groping involved than perhaps touching her knee or kissing her.

Kissing her - his memory instantly came up with a vivid picture of the kisses he’d shared with Lois. The gentle prodding of her tongue that quietly slipped past his lips. The teasing flickers as her tongue played with his, inviting him to explore her mouth. He remembered the moment when instinct had taken over and he’d deepened their kiss, tasting her silky sweetness and losing himself in the incredible feeling of her mouth on his, her body in his arms. It had been pure bliss.

Now the memory was pure torture.

Clark slipped out of his clothes. He sighed. When had his intense desire for Lois become a problem? The more he was trying to tell himself that he should not think about making love to her, the more insistent his fantasies became. All day long, whenever his libido had gone into overdrive, he’d tried to distract himself by listing all former presidents of the United States, all 51 states and their respective governors and former governors. The capitals of all countries in the world, the results of all baseball and football games he’d read about.

That last task especially had been immensely boring, because during his time at Bureau 39, he’d rarely watched a game.

His efforts had only offered him short relief. But soon after, his thoughts would drift again, and he’d be faced with the same raw need he’d felt before. This was officially a problem. A big problem.

Clark stepped into the shower, turning the water as cold as he could. It didn't help much. He sighed, wondering if a bath in the arctic ocean might do the trick.

Ever since he'd kissed Lois, held her against his body, imagined how her naked skin would feel against his… the thought of being this close to her was almost scary. A mere brush of her hand on his forearm was already driving him insane. How much more intense would it be if he were allowed to explore her body freely?

Good grief, he had to stop thinking about her so much if he wanted to make it through the evening. Never before had he felt this distracted, even without her physical presence. And the faint scent of the perfume she'd worn yesterday still hung in the air. The same perfume he'd inhaled while he'd lost himself in her kisses, her embrace.

Clark gritted his teeth, once again trying to think of anything but the gentle pressure of her body against his and the sparks of pleasure that had evoked. His hand wandered lower to take care of the pressure in his groin that had built up throughout the day.

After relieving himself, he felt slightly guilty. He knew he shouldn't. Lois would berate him if he told her, Clark thought wryly. He took deep calming breaths, trying to firmly push that sense of guilt away.

For a while he just stood there and enjoyed the water running down his body. Now that the pressure in his groin was gone, he felt better, more focused. He smiled to himself. Nothing had happened. No floating, no out-of-control heat vision. The water hadn't been turned to ice and he hadn't heard or seen anything he shouldn't have.
Clark turned off the water. As he raised his head, he saw the cracked tile under his hand. His smile crumbled and his heart stopped. With a gasp, he pulled his hand back. His insides turned to ice.

"No," he whispered. "Oh, no, no!"

His heart was thundering in his ears and his hand trembled as he moved it to run his finger across the crack. Had it been there before? He thought it had, but how could he be sure of that? How could he assume that his memory wasn’t playing tricks on him to make him feel better about himself.
Deeply troubled, he cradled his head in his hands, agonizing over what to do. He was going to meet Lois for a date tonight. And for all intents and purposes he had to assume that he’d once again lost control of his powers. And this time, it hadn’t been just floating.

Clark groaned. What was he going to do? Call off the whole thing? Tell her that he’d been right from the beginning? That he wouldn't tempt his - or better yet - her fate?

He had lost control of his strength. That was far more disastrous than floating. What if it happened again, when he embraced her, kissed her? He couldn't let that happen. But he'd promised her to give them a chance. How could he do that now? And how could he justify breaking her heart twice in as many days, when she trusted him with it?

If only there was a way to guarantee that she'd be safe with him. He sighed and slipped down to sit with his back resting against the tiled wall.

He'd come this far. He didn't want to give up now. Maybe Lois was right and he could actually learn to control his reaction to these intense feelings.

It occurred to him that he'd done it before. He'd learned to influence his reaction to the green crystal! Learning to control himself when writhing with pleasure had to be so much better than doing the same while writhing in pain.
He froze as the possible solution to his problems hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes wandered toward the box that contained the green crystal. It was still sitting on a shelf in his bathroom, much like it had during his time with the Shamrock of Horrors. Old habits died hard.

His stomach curled into a tight knot. He hadn't used the crystal since he'd been undercover.

And he didn't want to use it now.

Clark squeezed his eyes shut. They weren't going to make love, not tonight, maybe even not for many months. It wouldn't matter if he went to this date with his powers intact.

But being with Lois sent his emotions spiraling out of control. He'd proven that plenty, when he'd run out on her the other night. Could he do that to her again and still be cut slack, still be forgiven? How much of that behavior would Lois take before she gave up on him? He didn't want to find himself freezing up because he was terrified of hurting Lois.

Clark clenched his hands into tight fists. This was nuts! He could control his powers.

"Ah, can you really?" a mean voice in the back of his mind asked, sounding a lot like Trask.

"Yes, I can," Clark whispered defiantly. "That crack was there before."

"You sure? Swear on her life, do you?" the voice mocked him.

Clark groaned and buried his face in his hands. Of course not, how could he? He was quite literally trapped between a rock and a hard place.

What was he going to do? The answer really wasn't that hard. Nothing was too much to ask if it meant that Lois was safe with him.

But she'd rip out his spleen, if she found out what he'd done. Worse even, would she assume that he'd exposed himself to the crystal, because he expected her to sleep with him tonight? That he'd be this taken by lust that he couldn't wait? He dismissed the thought. After he'd panicked because of a mere kiss, surely Lois wouldn't jump to conclusions regarding his intentions. If anything, she'd question his sanity.

Clark grimaced and picked up the lead case.
It had been sitting there on the shelf as a quiet reminder of what his life had been like, lest he forgot what Lois had done for him. He would look at it and smile to himself in the knowledge that he no longer felt the need to use it.

Now he didn't feel much like smiling. He knew Lois wouldn't want him to use the crystal. She'd tell him that there had to be another way.

But he knew more about his powers than she did. It wasn't her body that was out of control, not her pain to endure. This was his decision. And though he dreaded the agony, he realized that it probably was the best way to solve his problem.

If he allowed himself to gradually adjust the amount of powers he needed to control, he might actually stand a chance to get the hang of it without endangering Lois.
If he was careful about it, she wouldn't even have to know. Unless she asked him to take her flying, he didn't need his powers to spend an evening with her.

But should he really start tonight? They'd agreed to go slow. Nothing would happen to Lois if he put that box back on the shelf and got dressed. He only needed to be careful that he didn't get carried away again.

Clark gritted his teeth. He didn't want to be careful. He wanted to seize the moment, enjoy this evening without having to worry about hurting Lois. They wouldn't make love - he knew that and he didn't expect it. But he wanted to kiss her, wanted to embrace her and lose himself in the feeling of her arms wrapped around his shoulders. For once he just wanted to go with his emotions, without regret, without the need to hold back and put a tight lid on everything.

Clark set his jaw and set the box back on the shelf. Then he dried himself off and spun into a long sleeved shirt and pants. He took a deep breath, his hands trembling as he once again reached for the box with the crystal. His stomach clenched in dread.

He could do this. For Lois, for himself, for his freedom. His breath quickened as he went to his sofa and sat down. A few minutes of pain and he'd be fine. Lois would be fine and that was all that counted.

He set the box down next to him, feeling slightly queasy. Part of him couldn't help the notion that he was giving up. He shook his head firmly. This wasn't giving up, this was fighting.

Clark took another deep, calming breath. Then he opened the box and let the agony wash over him.

***

The evening of their date, Lois was standing in front of her closet, trying to find something to wear. She’d tried on a number of outfits but had dismissed each and every one of them quickly. Too sexy, too casual, too whatever. Nothing seemed to match the occasion. While she wanted to stun Clark speechless and make him forget all about his worries, she didn’t want to intimidate him either. The truth of the matter was that her wardrobe didn’t contain a single dress that would meet her criteria, simply because such a dress probably didn’t even exist. She was a nervous wreck for sure.

Getting ready for her dates with Lex had been easier. Usually, it had just meant dressing up to the nines, until she no longer felt seriously underdressed for the high society events he’d taken her to. But Clark would certainly feel uncomfortable in the places Lex had preferred, and honestly, so had she. Lois had just mistaken the uneasy flutter in her chest for excitement, but she wasn’t going to make those same mistakes now.

And so she was back at checking her closet for a suitable outfit, while the hand of the clock was mercilessly proceeding.

The whole day had alternated between going by in a blur and dragging on endlessly.

Particularly the time before Lois had managed to get a reservation with a restaurant had seemed to slip through her fingers. But as soon as her date with Clark was settled, the large hand of the clock refused to move forward as if someone had glued it to the clock face.

By the time Lois finally felt confident that she could call it a day, the clock had once again started to move with an incredible speed.

Maybe the main reason that she couldn’t decide what to wear was that she felt nowhere near ready to go out on a date with Clark.

It had seemed like a good idea when she had suggested going out. But all the time she'd tried to convince him that their relationship deserved a real chance for something more than friendship. Not once had she considered giving herself the same kind of pep talk.

Her former romantic endeavors had been a disaster. The few months she’d dated Lex Luthor had been about the longest relationship she’d ever had - if one wanted to even count him as a former boyfriend. Somehow he'd moved from casual dating directly to proposing, leaving out all the usual steps of getting to know each other. Most men she'd dated hadn't even stuck around long enough to ask for a second date. They'd formally given her a peck on the cheek, had gushed over how nice it had been to meet her, only to never call again.

Lois had argued with herself that Clark knew her. He knew what he was getting himself into, well, mostly anyway. He probably expected her to be sexually experienced. Compared to him, she was. But that really didn't mean much. What if he - like all the other men before him - found that she was boring to be with, frigid, an ice queen.
With a sigh, Lois sank onto her bed and rummaged through the dresses that were lying there. Was it even that important what she wore? Clark had seen her in a number of outfits, ranging from businesslike to casual to near-naked. If he loved her in slacks, why did she have to make such a fuss about her dress tonight? After all, it wasn’t as if she was trying to seduce him, though part of her wanted that so badly.

She knew they wouldn’t make love, not tonight, not for a while. Clark wasn’t ready and there was no telling if he’d ever be. She still had time to work through her own insecurities. And perhaps she should follow her own advice and tell him about her fears. But maybe that would only serve to scare him more?

Could she admit that another part of her actually was scared that sleeping with Clark would be uncomfortable and not at all pleasurable, just like it had been with Paul or Claude? She wasn’t afraid of his powers, not at all. Rather, she was scared of herself, of her own inadequacy. If so many women could enjoy making love, perhaps it was really her fault that she couldn’t. Lois was trying to tell herself that with Clark it would be different, because his touch and kisses alone were so much more than what she’d felt with the other men in her life. But perhaps, she was just trying to fool herself.

Lois firmly pushed away the unwanted thoughts. There would be no intimacy beyond maybe a kiss or two. So what could go wrong? She wanted this chance with Clark, desperately. So, what was she so damn nervous about?
Forty minutes later, Lois was waiting in front of the restaurant. She’d eventually settled for a knee-length, black sheath dress that accentuated her figure nicely. Patterned lace covered her cleavage up to a high, round neckline and down her arms to her elbows, allowing a glimpse of her skin. It was sexy, but not overly so. Perhaps it was a bit much for the movies, but that couldn’t be helped now. Still nervous, she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other and looking up and down the street, hoping that Clark hadn’t gotten cold feet.

Her heart was beating in her throat, her pulse spiking with every man who approached and even remotely resembled Clark. And each time that man turned out to be a perfect stranger, her stomach would plummet and turn into an even tighter knot. Her gaze wandered towards her wrist watch, checking for at least the twentieth time how late it was. And like all the previous times she’d looked, the large hand of the watch still hadn’t made it to the twelve. Clark wasn’t even late yet, though it sure felt like he was.

Finally, she spotted him on the other side of the street. Her jaw dropped and it took a conscious effort to close her mouth again as she stared at him. He looked incredibly sexy in his charcoal suit and deep purple dress shirt that stretched across his broad chest. His tie matched the color of his suit.

A smile spread across Clark's lips as he saw her. His hand wandered toward the knot of his tie and then down his chest as if to check the unfamiliar item of clothing was still in the place it should be. For a while he just stood there on the sidewalk, seemingly just as mesmerized by the sight of her as she was by him.

And though a street was separating them, Lois felt that in this very moment their hearts were beating in unison. The world around them had faded to insignificance. There was just her and this incredible man on the other side of the street, whose smile was tentative and hopeful and breathtakingly beautiful.

Eventually, Clark seemed to give himself a mental shake. He checked for oncoming traffic, before he crossed the street. His smile became broader with every step he took.
His voice was rough. "You look incredible."

There had been a reply on Lois' lips, but words just fled her as he bent forward and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine as she felt his warm, velvet lips against her skin. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to pull him closer and kiss him in a way that would be completely inappropriate for such a public place.
"You're not so bad yourself," she said.

Lois was almost surprised that her voice was even working. Her lips were trapped in a silly smile, unable to form more coherent words. A myriad of butterflies fluttered in her belly. She wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.
Clark was here, looking more relaxed than he had in weeks, even though this was officially their first date. Her heart swelled with happiness. And though they hadn't even made it through the door of the restaurant, Lois already felt that this was going to be the greatest date of her life. If at all possible, her smile turned even more silly.

"Are you nervous?" Clark asked.

The low rumble of his voice turned her knees to jello. His warm smile and the gleam in the dark pools of his eyes made her dizzy. She could only nod. What had happened that all of a sudden Clark seemed to be completely at ease, while she was the gibbering fool?

His smile turned a bit sheepish. "Me too. Shall we go inside?"

Lois felt her stomach drop. This was it. Her date with Clark, her one chance at bliss. What if she blew it? Again?
He seemed to sense her hesitation. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied automatically.

Her voice sounded entirely too brittle to be convincing.
"It's just…" Lois drew in a shaky breath, not sure how to phrase it. But before she even knew what she was doing, she just blurted it out. "I'm not good at this, Clark! At dating, I mean. Every single date I've had was a complete disaster. And the few that weren't disasters were with a sociopath, which really should tell you everything you need to know about me."

Clark shook his head and reached out to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'm not good at this dating thing, either," he whispered. "But I do know that you're fierce and brave and brilliant. Not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. And there is really not a single person in this world I'd rather have this date with."
Her knees went even weaker, if that was at all possible. Already she felt tears prick in her eyes.

"But what if I do something terrible?" she argued. "After the last candle light dinner I almost killed you."

"Don't you worry." He laughed softly. "I left all the dangerous stuff at home. Besides, if you take that dinner for comparison, our date can't go any worse, now can it?"

Lois managed a smile. "I guess not."

Clark took her hand in his, stroking its back with his thumb. "Then I'm already looking forward to it."

She looked into his eyes. His deep affection for her was so obvious it took her breath away. Her heart did a dance inside her chest, and suddenly Lois wanted nothing more than for this date to really begin. She gave his hand a slight tug, pulling him with her toward the restaurant. Clark held the door open and waited until she'd stepped through. His hand came to rest on the small of her back, igniting fireworks in her belly as he followed her inside.

While they were waiting to be seated and later, when they had ordered their drinks, Lois wondered what had brought on the tremendous change in Clark. He looked so happy and unconcerned. It seemed like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. Had their long conversation, plus a night and a day of work helped him put things into perspective? Lois hoped it had.

She studied him over the rim of her menu. This more laid back attitude suited him well. It almost seemed to her as if she was allowed a glimpse of what Clark was like without all those invisible scars that marred his soul.

*A glimpse?* Lois chastised herself for her own thought process. Why did she automatically assume that he wouldn’t stay that way?

With some difficulty, she forced her attention back on the menu, pretending to study it like she had for at least five minutes. Once again she was overanalyzing the situation when there was absolutely nothing to be worried about. No wonder every man but the sociopath had run away screaming. She should be grateful for what she had, glad that Clark was getting better.

He closed the menu and put it down, looking at her with a slight smile. A surge of panic rushed through her as she realized that she had no idea what she wanted to eat. The waiter could be back any minute with their drinks, ready to take their order. Lois hurried to give her menu a more thorough look, but couldn’t stop herself from surreptitiously glancing at Clark over and over again. Was he getting impatient? Did he think that she was trying to avoid him?

She gave herself a mental shake and picked a dish. Then she put the menu down and plastered a smile on her face.

"So, how was your day?"

She cringed at her own weak attempt at a conversation. But Clark didn't seem to mind.

"Not particularly eventful," he said quietly. "I…uh… worked a lot…" He trailed off, as if there had been something else that he'd rather not talk about.

Lois raised her brows and straightened her stance. Her curiosity was piqued by his not-so-casual vagueness, and suddenly the reporter in her took over.

"Have you been busy due to -" she hastily broke off, because she'd almost mentioned his powers. "Uh…your new career?"

Clark shook his head. "Not after the other day, no."

Lois heaved an inward sigh. They had never really had problems finding something to talk about. But somehow the conversation had turned awkward, and she didn’t even know why. Was she trying too hard to get it right? Or not hard enough? Before she could think of anything else to say, a waiter approached their table with the bottle of wine they'd ordered, and he poured both of them a glass. Clark thanked him with a smile. The waiter asked for their order and jotted it down on a notepad before he left with a nod.

Like her, Clark appeared to be lost in thought. He ran his hand up and down the stem of his wine glass before he took it in his hand. He hesitated. Was he having second thoughts about their date? If he was, it only lasted a moment. His demeanor changed, the smile on his face reappearing. And suddenly, her Clark was back - well the new one, who seemed more than willing to have a romantic relationship with her.

Clark raised his glass. “To our first date.”

Lois followed his example and clinked her glass to his. “To our first date.”

As both took a sip of the wine, Lois wracked her brain for something she could talk about. Her own day at the newspaper had been rather dull. And the things she longed to discuss with him most were likely not a suitable conversation for a restaurant.

Lois put her glass down, settling for the same topic she’d chosen earlier. "Why didn't you tell me more about your plans?” She winced a little, hoping that hadn't come off as too accusatory. She genuinely was curious, not mad.

He ran a hand through his hair. His smile crumpled a bit on the edges. "I was going to, but I wanted to be sure that it was going to work."

She lay her hand on his, giving it a soft squeeze. "And? Are you sure now?"

"Mostly, I guess.” He shrugged and shifted his position. “So far, no one seems to realize what I’m doing."

"I’m sure no one will,” Lois said, full of conviction.

Clark’s smile looked forced, as if he was desperately trying to mirror her optimism. He failed miserably.

Lois could almost sense his fear. “You're worried that he will find out you're still alive?"

Clark looked down at his hands. "Of course I am. But I can't simply stand by and do nothing."

“I know you can’t,” Lois said tenderly. “When I first met you, I wondered why you were so bent on bringing Luthor down, even if it meant risking your own life. And later, I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t be able to stay in Metropolis with all the bad things happening in such a big city.”

Clark faced her again, the dark brown pools of his eyes resting firmly on her. His voice was rough. “I had a reason to stay.”

Lois felt her breath catch. So many emotions resonated in those few words, telling her just how much Clark loved her. She felt cherished, but also deeply humbled, because she didn’t know if she would ever be able to say it back in such an intense way. She took a sip of her wine and cast her eyes down, ashamed that she had no idea how to express her feelings for him.

“What gave you the idea for using a disguise?" Lois asked.
He wriggled his brows. "Is this going to be a date or an interview?"

Lois felt her cheeks flush. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all reporter on you. I'm just so nervous. Are you mad?"
"No, I'm not,” Clark said good-naturedly. “And it was you.”
“Huh?” Lois muttered, slightly confused.

“You gave me the idea,” Clark clarified. “I remembered how you walked right into Hobb’s Bay, dressed up with a wig and different clothes. I figured that was something I could try as well. I realize I’m not making as much of a difference as I probably could. But it’s better than nothing.”

There was something wistful about his expression, as if deep down he longed for a way to be himself without having to hide anymore. And come to think of it, it was only natural. Who wanted to live like that, having the abilities to help but having to stand by and watch people get hurt… even die?

“Maybe you should seek Newcomb out and see if Trask really is still a threat.” Lois said quietly.

Clark stiffened. “Believe me, he is. And he’s not the only one.”

Lois shook her head. “You don’t know that. After what you did for the world, they must have realized Trask was a nutcase."

Clark’s lips became a tight line. "And what do you know about it? No one tortured you for years and nearly killed you. No one asked you to go on a suicide mission for the benefit of people who had ordered your death."

His eyes reflected the raw emotion raging through him. In this moment, it couldn't have been more obvious how much he was still hurting. Lois felt awful for reminding him, tonight of all nights. She closed her eyes, deeply regretting she had broached the topic. She was about as tactful as a sledgehammer. No wonder she sucked at dating.

"Oh, Clark, I'm so, so sorry," Lois whispered.

He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry, too, for snapping at you like that. I know you mean well." He fell silent for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked up again. "And maybe you're even right. It's just, tonight I'd rather not think about[/b] him [/b]."

Lois bit her lip. "I totally understand. Again, I'm sorry."

His expression softened. "It's okay. Let's talk about something else, shall we?"

Lois nodded, a self-conscious smile on her lips. "Perhaps I better let you choose the topic, huh? Tonight I seem to have a tendency of putting my foot in my mouth."

The soft rumble of his laughter was music in her ears. That, more than anything, told Lois they were okay.

Clark fumbled something out of the pocket of his jacket. "There is something I've been meaning to show you."
He laid a sheet of paper on the table. "I guess this isn't quite the right time for this, either. But with my emotions running so high, lately, I simply forgot."

Lois glanced at the paper. "What is it?"

"An article I was supposed to write for my journalism course." He looked a little shy. "I want you to read it. You don't have to do it now, if you don't want to."

"Of course I want to." Lois took the paper, barely able to contain her curiosity. She was dying to see what progress Clark had made.

Her heart was beating in her throat. She was excited, but also a bit afraid that he might not be able to meet Perry's high standards. Her dreams revolved around being partnered with him, officially working with him, instead of passing off his help as her own efforts. Because that just wasn't fair, even if Clark insisted that he didn't mind.
She needn't have worried. Lois found herself sucked into his article about overstressed nurses and suffering residents of a retirement home. He told a story of neglect, abuse and helplessness on both sides, of too much work and too little time. All because the people running the place valued profit over everything else.

Clark had carefully checked his facts, but there was also a heavy portion of human interest. Lois spotted a few minor editorial issues, but all in all, it was a brilliant story.
Lois had barely noticed that their food had arrived.

Finally, she put down his article. "You did an awesome job, Clark."

"Thanks," he said quietly. "You should eat before it gets cold."

Lois picked up her fork. "The article was totally worth getting cold food. Not that it actually is cold yet, I mean…"

He grinned, shook his head and pointed at her plate.

Lois bit her lip and her own lips twitched in a smile, before she dug into her food. It was delicious.

"How did you find out about the nursing home?" Lois asked after a few minutes of eating in silence.

"The same way I stumble upon most things." He tapped his ear and shifted his position as if that admission made him uncomfortable. "The place needed some help for the kitchen, so I took up the job. And since they were so low on personnel, I quickly worked my way through almost every part of the retirement home. I helped take care of the residents, I did some repairs, I peeled potatoes. People talked and I listened."

He shrugged as if that was nothing special. But Lois instantly knew that Clark had talent for the job. His abilities might have initially pointed him in the right direction, but he'd gone the way all by himself.

"Do the people you interviewed know that you wrote an article?" Lois asked.

Clark nodded. "Most of them read it. The nurses I talked to were ashamed of the way they were forced to ignore basic needs of the people they were supposed to care for. Or how they would lose their temper when the pressure became too much. Hardly any of those nurses could afford to lose their jobs, so they stayed." He put down his cutlery and raised his glass to his lips. After he'd taken a sip, he thoughtfully swirled the glass in his hands. "It was bad, but in a way completely understandable. There was never enough time to take a break. The nurses were running on empty. And the owner of the retirement home was very skilled in choosing his staff, taking on single moms, people with a huge mortgage they didn't know how to pay, and so on."

Lois lay her hand on Clark's. "You will help to stop him."
Clark heaved a sigh. "I hope so. But first I must find a newspaper willing to print that."

Lois almost choked on her pasta. "Are you kidding me? A few editorial changes and this could be Kerth material."
Clark's eyes widened in surprise. "You really think so?"
"Of course I do," Lois replied emphatically. "Mark my words, in a few months I'll be hanging on your arm when you're invited to the ceremony."

He shook his head. "You're the one who's going to be invited to that ceremony"

Lois winked at him. "We'll see about that. I bet you'll look really great in a tux." She chuckled. "Almost like James Bond."

He wriggled his brows. "And you'd be my Bond girl?"
Lois stroked the back of his hand and smiled at him seductively. "Do you want me to be?"

Clark shook his head. "Usually, they have an awfully short life. Besides, you're far more to me than just a brief fling."