Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Federal Disaster (13-14/37)

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Chapter 13

They arrived at the Planet only to find Claude was nowhere to be seen. A note on Lois’ desk told them he’d gone out for coffee and would be back soon. She double checked her watch. They were right on time.

“He’s been useful so far, at least,” Clark commented mildly. Lois had been thinking the same thing, but hadn’t voiced it out loud. She wasn’t sure what to make of Claude’s actions since he’d arrived. He’d made at least one attempt at a conversation with her, which she had shut down, and had since gone out of his way to be accommodating.

Lois wanted to continue avoiding talking to the man forever, but she knew that wasn’t possible. She also knew that she couldn’t begin to move forward with Clark until she’d done all the homework that Doctor Frisken had assigned.

“Clark, I think I need to talk to Claude,” she said with a sigh. He gave her a quizzical look, but said nothing which she took as a sign to continue. “That doctor’s appointment I had…it wasn’t for anything physical. I had an appointment with Doctor Frisken my therapist. She helped me clarify a few things about us, and even though it took me some time to get there, she was right.”

“And she also told you that you should talk to Claude, I am assuming?” Clark asked, though he didn’t seem bothered by the idea.

“Yes,” she told him. “She advised me to talk to you about my fears and to have a conversation with Claude, though she was less specific on how that one should go. I was sceptical at first, but…I think she might be right.”

“Yeah, I think she might be,” Clark agreed. Lois looked at him in surprise. She had expected at least a bit of pushback when it came to Claude, especially after their fight over Lex.

“I…I’m glad you think so,” Lois replied slowly. “I had to admit, I was worried you’d be jealous.”

“Before we started dating, I might have been,” Clark admitted. He took her hands and traced his thumb over one gently. “But things are different now, and this isn’t about me. Lois, this guy was awful to you. When I think of how he hurt you, it makes me angry, but I can’t fight your battles for you. And whether you want to yell at him or forgive him, I’ll be here.”

“I can’t believe I was able to resist having my way with you in the shower this morning,” Lois murmured, leaning forward and kissing his neck softly. She felt him clutch her hand tighter at her words and a small strangled sound escaped his lips. She leaned back and smiled, proud of the reaction she’d gotten.

“You are going to be the death of me,” he murmured happily.

“You ain't seen nothin’ yet, farmboy,” she promised. Before Clark could respond, the elevator door opened and Claude stepped out, tray of coffees and various other items in hand.

“I suppose we should get to work,” she said with a resigned sigh. Clark nodded.

“Why don’t I get Jimmy started on compiling a profile on the Vice President. We can tell him it’s for a story we are doing on politicians who inspire us. I can have a look at what he finds and see if anything jumps out that we can connect to Lex. In the meantime, you can work with Claude on the French authorities angle and…talk.”

“Okay,” she said with a nod, feeling something restless inside her settle. She and Clark were on the same team no matter what.

“I’m glad she’s helping,” Clark replied with a soft smile as he gathered his things. “But you don’t ever have to hide that you are going to see a therapist. I think it’s really brave.”

“Coming from you, that means…a lot,” she replied as Claude approached. They shared another significant look as he grabbed one of the coffees, turned and headed over to one of the conference rooms to talk to Jimmy.

Claude gave her a tentative smile and looked over at Clark. “He’s not my biggest fan, is he?”

“No, he isn’t,” Lois said bluntly. She was ready for this. No more kid gloves. “Is there any reason he should be?”

“If by that you mean that you told him about our past, then no.” He shook his head and had the grace to look down at his feet. Lois resisted the urge to feel sorry for him.

“We’re engaged to be married,” she pointed out. “I tell him everything.”

“I figured,” he said, sounding somewhat resigned. “I mean…you make such an incredible team. I’ve only been here a few days and even I can see that.”

“We’re lucky to have each other,” Lois replied, trying to find a way to steer the conversation away from her relationship with Clark. It just felt too weird to be discussing it with Claude. Claude seemed to have gotten the hint because he cast one more look in Clark’s direction before returning his focus to work and handing her the coffee he'd brought her.

“So where do you want to start? I see that he’s following up on some lead you don’t want to tell me about, so I assume we’re continuing to look into Luthor’s ties to my government?”

“How did you…”

“I’m not a completely awful journalist,” Claude replied with a slight smile. “I did overhear the people involved talking about this plot, after all. Plus, I have eyes.”

Lois gave a small chuckle and felt some of the tension drain from her. Somehow, it was reassuring to know that Claude knew exactly where he stood. She took a sip of the coffee and frowned. It was awful.

“Clark is indeed following up a different lead,” she said and was relieved when Claude didn’t press the issue. “And yes, I wanted to continue to look into your government, but first…is there any way we could have that talk you mentioned? I think there might be some things we both need to say.”

“Absolutely,” he said, his head quirking slightly to the side. She remembered that gesture. He used to do that whenever he was trying to figure out someone’s motivation. “Do you want to go somewhere?"

"How about the other conference room,” she replied, not wanting to let things veer too far into any sort of territory that resembled friendship. She still had no idea what she was going to say to him and so moving into the conference room also allowed her to stall a bit. She left the coffee behind and led the way.

Once inside, Claude pulled out a chair for her — something she once found charming, but now found irritating. She could pull out her own chairs, thanks. She sat anyway, and the silence in the room stretched out for a few minutes. Eventually, he broke it.

“I know that you probably didn’t want me here,” he said. She didn’t feel particularly inclined to argue, and since she still wasn’t sure exactly how much of her soul she wanted to bare, she let him continue. “And you have good reason for that. But I needed to come. Even if I hadn’t heard what I heard…I would have asked to help cover the talks if it meant getting the chance to talk to you.”

“Why?” she wondered aloud. It had never occurred to her that he had wanted to come out of any reason beyond what he’d initially told them.

“Because I’ve never forgiven myself for what happened,” he replied, letting out a whoosh of air. She found herself blinking for a moment in surprise. Whatever she’d been expecting, it hadn’t been this. “The truth is…I had never been with anyone like you. I was used to relationships that were strictly physical, and then you came along and I was…smitten. And then when we slept together…I got scared, and I ran. It was stupid and cowardly.”

“Yes, it was,” Lois agreed, keeping her voice neutral, not wanting to give him even an inch of leeway. She wasn’t ready to forgive just yet, especially since she wasn’t sure she trusted this little mea culpa. “Why now? Did you suddenly grow a conscience you didn’t have before?”

“Sort of,” he said. She watched as he squirmed uncomfortably and allowed herself to enjoy it. He clearly wasn’t the sort of man who was used to apologising, and he definitely wasn’t used to not being immediately forgiven after the fact. It was obvious that his charm had gotten him far in life, and to see it fail him now was very satisfying. “I…met someone.”

She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He looked away and she wondered if he was trying to decide just how much he wanted to tell her. Eventually, he looked back.

“She reminded me a lot of you. She was smart and ambitious, and for once I finally felt I was ready to be in a committed relationship. I wanted to stop running. I told her as much and…well, she broke up with me on the spot. Didn’t want anything serious.” He laughed but there was no humour in it. “I suppose it’s what I deserve.”

“If you’re looking at me to convince you that you don’t, you picked the wrong audience,” she said flatly. Her emotions simmered just below the surface, and she struggled to rein them in. She could see there was genuine pain written all over his face, but she wasn’t capable of feeling sorry for him. Not yet. He still had one larger thing to atone for that he hadn’t even mentioned.

“I know,” he acknowledged. “And I’ve wanted the chance to apologise ever since, but I didn’t think you would want to see me especially not after —”

“Not after you stole my story?” she interrupted, her voice coming out a little harsher than she’d intended it. She wasn’t sure why, but his apology made her angry. She’d been the wronged party. She’d been the one who had been plagued by an inability to trust ever since he’d so casually discarded her. She’d been the one who had almost lost out on the best thing that had ever happened to her because she’d been too jaded. And now he wanted to waltz in and apologise?

He had the decency to look ashamed and nodded.

“That was probably the lowest moment in my professional career,” he said quietly. “I was supposed to be the senior reporter — the one with the instincts and experience, but even then I could see that you were lightyears beyond me.”

She resisted the urge to stand up and walk out of the conference room right then. To think that the theft of what would have been the first major award in her career had simply been a matter of his inferiority complex was beyond infuriating.

“So, what…you stole my work and profited off of it because you were cowardly and insecure, is that it?” She fought to keep her voice level, to clamp down on the urge to punch him. To think she’d had to work twice as hard for so long to prove herself because of him had always made her angry. She thought knowing the reasons for it would make it easier somehow but it didn’t. It only made it worse in some ways.

“Part of it,” he agreed. “The other part was family pressure. I refused to go into the family business like I was expected to. Oldest son and all that. I wanted to be a journalist instead, so I struck out on my own. I knew if I didn’t prove myself, then I would be forced into a career I didn’t want. And then I saw your story on your computer…well, the rest is history.”

There was a long pause between them while Lois tried to sort through her emotions. The anger was still there — white hot and ready to lash out, but there was also unwanted pity for the man in front of her as well as the realisation that things had worked out for the better in the end. After all, she would never have been happy with a man as weak and insecure as Claude.

Eventually, she took a deep breath, counting to ten in her head like Doctor Frisken had told her to do, and looked Claude in the eye.

“What do you want from me, Claude?” She had trouble keeping the weariness from her voice. “And please don’t tell me you’ve come in the hopes of something happening again between us because —”

“No, no, of course not,” he interrupted hastily. “Like I said, I’ve followed your career. I knew of your engagement to Clark before I came. And even if you hadn't been with someone, I don’t feel like what I did would even make me worthy of reconsideration. I just wanted to…clear my conscience. I’ve been carrying that guilt for years.”

“And did you?” Lois asked him tersely. She didn’t want to lose her cool in the newsroom, especially when she knew that Clark’s super hearing would pick up her voice if it was raised in any sort of distressed way. He’d never listen on purpose, but she also knew how in tune he was to her due to her penchant for getting herself in trouble. “Is your conscience clear? Do you just have to say sorry for that to happen? Or do you need me to absolve you? Because I would hate for this to be a wasted trip for you.”

“I…I didn’t mean…” he stammered, looking like a deer in headlights for a moment, and a thrill of satisfaction shot through her. It was petty, but at the moment it was enough. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how that would sound. I’m not looking for forgiveness, Lois. And I know there are things you need to say to me, which is why I assume you wanted to talk. I know what I did must have hurt you, so whatever you need to do or say…I’m here.”

She took another look at him and opened her mouth, ready to give him a piece of her mind. A thousand choice words and phrases filtered through her head, ready to verbally cut him to pieces. She could do it. Part of her even wanted to do it and yet, looking at him in front of her, another realisation came to her. She didn’t need to.

It was a powerful realisation. One that shook her out of her anger and brought her back to reality. Yelling at Claude would not make her life any better. It might feel good in the moment, but it wouldn’t give her the internal satisfaction she’d once thought it would. The fact that she’d achieved everything she’d set out to despite him proved that.

In another life, she would have verbally torn Claude to pieces. But that Lois was gone, and in her place, sat a woman more confident in herself and her future than she’d ever been.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clark walk past the conference room in deep conversation with Jimmy. Something about the look in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice and the fact that Clark was outside the conference room stopped her. She smiled. Things were better this way indeed.

“You know what?” she said after a moment’s silence. “You did hurt me. At the time, I thought you’d broken me. But, I picked myself up, I made myself stronger, and I won three Kerth Awards on my own. And when I met Clark, I learned how amazing it was to have a partner — a true partner with whom I could share everything with. You’re my past, but he’s my future. I don’t need your apology…but it was nice to hear. Thank you.”

She was surprised to realise that she meant what she said. Before she’d met Clark, she’d had fantasies of Claude coming crawling back begging for forgiveness only to be rejected in the cruellest of ways. She’d carried so much anger over the years, she was shocked to find that his apology meant almost nothing.

She wondered if Doctor Frisken had suspected this would happen, or if it was simply a matter of time healing all wounds? Either way, it was nice to know.

“Thank you,” he said back, sounding relieved. “I never wanted to hurt you. And I’m sure you’ve found that living well is the best revenge. After all, it’s not as if my career has gained nearly the amount of prestige yours has…and well deserved, too, I might add.”

She arched an eyebrow and allowed curiosity to get the better of her.

“What happened there?” she asked, “I mean, you had that Kerth…my Kerth. It must have opened so many doors. And you certainly look like you’ve been doing well for yourself.”

Once again, he looked slightly embarrassed. After all, he’d been wearing suits that cost a month’s salary almost every day. If his career wasn’t footing that bill, she wondered what was. Especially since there was still a slight chance he was in Lex Luthor’s pocket.

“I’m afraid my standard of living comes from good old fashioned family money,” he said with a shrug. “My parents own the airline company Dupont Airlines. They used to make military jets, but in recent years have branched out into commercial planes. Imagine their rage when I turned out to be merely a mediocre journalist. I am…what do you Americans call it…the black lamb?”

Lois couldn’t help but let out a small laugh and even found herself smiling at him.

“The black sheep,” she corrected him. “So who took over the company? Or do your parents still run it?”

“My younger brother runs it now,” Claude said with an airy wave of his hand. It was clear to her that the company mattered little to him. “It turns out neither of us have much of a head for business, it seems, because the company has been losing money for years. Ever since they made the switch. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.”

Things were silent again, but in that uncomfortable way that always accompanied an important conversation between two people. It was compounded by the fact that Lois no longer considered him an enemy, but certainly didn’t see him as a friend. Still, they had to work together, so they had to find some sort of working relationship.

“Wow, this awkward silence, really is awkward, isn’t it?” Claude finally said with a laugh. Lois laughed as well despite herself, and it broke the tension in the room.

“We should get back to work,” she said, standing up. He stood too. She walked towards the door, put her hand on the knob and hesitated. Turning back to Claude, she spoke. “We’re not friends…you and I. We never were. And your apology, while appreciated, doesn’t change that. We will work together because it’s too important for us not to, but —”

“I understand,” he interrupted and she knew that he was telling the truth. She nodded.

“Then let’s get to it.”

Chapter 14

The rest of the day went by in a blur, with both Lois and Claude focusing heavily on the task at hand. Clark worked equally as diligently with Jimmy, and by the time the end of the day came around, all were exhausted.

Claude was the first to leave, grabbing his coat and heading for his hotel room at bang on five. Lois spent the next few minutes finishing up the notes she was typing before a fairly substantial yawn forced her to save her work and turn the computer off. As much as she had loved falling asleep with Clark for the first time, she still wasn’t used to having another body in the bed next to her and she’d found herself being woken a couple of times.

She knew she would eventually get used to it with time, however, and the benefits definitely outweighed the growing pains. Indeed, remembering that they were now ‘practice living together’ was also a challenge.

She even found herself putting on her coat and grabbing her keys to leave, before remembering that Clark was coming home with her. She glanced around the newsroom and found him in conversation with Jimmy. They looked to be laughing, so she guessed it wasn’t work related and was relieved.

Most nights, she didn’t mind staying late if they were working on something big, but tonight she just wanted to go home.

And she couldn’t wait for Clark to come with her. She could see he felt the same way because when she approached him he looked up and gave her the biggest smile.

“All set to go?” he asked her. She nodded and she was certain that to Jimmy they must have looked like grinning idiots. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Instead he simply waved.

“Good night, Lois, good night, CK!”

As they headed down to her Jeep, Lois turned to ask Clark what he wanted for dinner, and just as suddenly remembered there was still no food in the apartment. She sighed.

“Something wrong?” Clark wondered. Her shoulders slumped. She’d been looking forward to a night at home after a hard day of work, making dinner and then finding something to watch on tv. It wasn’t anything major, but for some reason she didn’t want to share it with a mundane task like grocery shopping.

They climbed into the Jeep and Lois put the key into the ignition, and then was backing out of the space while still in a slightly bad mood.

“I just forgot my fridge still looks like that of a first-year college student,” she grumbled. “Guess we need to stop at the supermarket on the way home.”

“No we don’t,” he grinned. She glanced out of the corner of her eye at him in surprise and then shook her head.

“No,” she said adamantly. “It’s too convenient for you to fly off and get food every time we run out. You keep doing that, and I’ll never go shopping. I want to try to do things like a normal couple.”

“Lois, I brought you breakfast from Paris this morning,” he pointed out, “that ship has sailed. Besides, I wasn’t suggesting that I fly somewhere for food. I, uh….emptied what was left in my fridge and brought over what we could use. I also did some grocery shopping earlier when I was called out for a rescue, so your fridge is pretty full. I didn’t think you’d mind, but if you wanted to go shopping together, I apologise.”

“No, Clark it’s fine…great, even!” She smiled, feeling relieved despite her earlier protests that she didn’t have to run the errand in question. “One day, I will definitely insist we get groceries like a normal couple, but tonight, I’m glad you did it already. It frees up our evening for one thing.”

“Oh?” he said, sounding slightly intrigued. “And just what would we be freeing our evening up for? Please, don’t say work.”

“God, no,” Lois said as she parked the Jeep outside the apartment. “I thought we could just…” She turned to look at him, and the heat in his gaze caused her entire body to come to life. Here they were, day two, alone together in her apartment and he wasn’t leaving.

“So…” Clark paused, his tone deepening. “Play then?”

She wasn’t going to make it to the wedding.

Would that be such a bad thing? her inner voice asked her. And she honestly wasn’t sure of the answer. She wanted to. But, there were still fears there that she hadn’t dealt with. Fears that couldn’t just evaporate overnight, regardless of how expertly he touched her.

She found herself being drawn to him, like a magnet. Helpless to stop herself, she kissed him. The seatbelt tugged against her body, a subtle reminder that they were still in the Jeep outside the apartment.

But the moment his tongue met hers, the entire world dropped away and there was only him. And God, how she wanted him. His kisses teased her — light and gentle alternating with deep and urgent. In between kisses, he murmured things, though for the life of her she couldn’t understand them with the way her body was responding.

She wanted to feel his body against hers, to allow his hands to wander more than the restraints of their current position would allow, but in a way she was grateful for it. It kept her grounded. Kept her sane. Allowed her to pull back and remind him that they needed to go inside.

It took him a moment to process where they were and why staying there was not a great idea. He gave her a slightly shy smile and nodded.

The cool air on her face as they exited the Jeep seemed to bring them back to their senses, and the moment evaporated for now. But she knew that simply by kissing him, the spark that had been threatening ever since that virtual simulation could overwhelm them both. She needed to talk to him before that happened. She knew that is exactly what Doctor Frisken would tell her to do. Get her fears out in the open. And listen to his as well. Surely, after what he’d told her he must have them too.

With that resolve in her mind, they entered the apartment and set their things down. As Clark took their coats, Lois had a quick peek at all the groceries he’d stocked the fridge with. The yogurt wasn’t low fat and he’d gotten a different type of bread than she normally did, but beyond that he’d done a fairly good job.

“Any thoughts for dinner?” he asked, joining her in the kitchen. She smiled and patted his chest affectionately.

“I have to warn you ahead of time that if you want to marry someone with good cooking skills, then you’ll have to find someone else. I have about three things I know how to make and that’s about it.”

He laughed and she loved the way his eyes seemed to twinkle when he did.

“Would you like me to teach you?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind and placing a delicious kiss on her neck. “I certainly don’t want to find anyone else, so this seems like the logical solution.”

“Yes,” she breathed, though she wasn’t sure if she was responding to the way he was kissing her neck or his offer to teach her. Either way, she would enjoy both.

Reluctantly, he stopped what he was doing and moved over to the oven.

“Alright,” he said, holding out his hand, “let’s start with something simple.”

****
Lois hadn’t ever imagined a cooking lesson to be such an intimate activity, and yet it was one of the most thrilling date nights she’d had with Clark in a long while. They made a beef stir fry — a fairly simple dish, and yet Lois loved listening to Clark talk about the spices he liked to use and how to make the sauce while keeping the vegetables crisp. She thought back to when they’d first met and she had mocked his knowledge of other foods and cultures. It wasn’t her finest moment, and she knew now that her response to him had come from a place of insecurity — not to mention a growing attraction that she had no idea what to do with.

Now, she found his experiences and world knowledge to be incredibly sexy. And the way he found every excuse to touch her while making the stir fry pretty much ensured this would be her new favourite dish.

Eventually, the ‘lesson’ ended and they were able to sit and enjoy the fruits of their labour. Lois couldn’t remember ever tasting a better meal despite the fact that the cap had come off accidentally and she had poured way too much soy sauce in. Something about the fact that they were able to relax, kiss, cook, then pour a glass of wine and laugh about it, told her that life as a married couple would be even better than she could have imagined.

The fact that they had the following day off only improved Lois’ mood. It had been a hard, gruelling week — one of the hardest weeks she could remember in a long time. Normally they wouldn’t take the day off during a story as big as this, but Lois knew things were only going to get more intense, and it was better to get as much rest as they could when they were able. It wasn’t until now, safely cocooned in her apartment, that she could feel the tension of the week drain from her.

And even though he could easily dry the dishes with his powers, they both took the time to wash and dry them together. She knew eventually chores like this would become mundane, but tonight it was enough to know that once again he didn’t have to leave at the end of the night.

As they readied themselves for bed, Lois watched Clark make himself at home in the smallest of ways while still respecting her space in the ways that mattered. She smiled as he shyly walked over to the bathroom to change.

She reached out a hand and touched his arm before he reached the door, and he looked at her quizzically. She took a deep breath and it was suddenly crystal clear what she needed to do for them to be ready to take the next step.

“It’s okay,” she said, as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse and hung it back up in the closet. Clark watched her, but said nothing, his eyes darkening in that tell-tale way of his. He’d seen her in a sports bra before when she was working out, but somehow this was different. She rummaged through her drawer and found a long t-shirt, pulled it out and reached around to unclasp her bra.

“Lois?” His voice was hoarse and slightly unsteady.

“I, uh, think it’s time we got over being shy around each other like this,” she said, her own voice quiet but determined. She still hadn’t removed her bra, but the clasp was now undone and the straps had fallen around her shoulders. “Living together means changing in front of one another…doesn’t it?”

“Y…yes,” he stammered and her pulse raced in response to the sound of his voice and the naked desire in his eyes. “At least I think it does. I’ve never…”

“You said we’d start slowly,” she reminded him as she removed her bra. The air was cool against her skin and the look on Clark’s face caused heat to spread throughout her body. “Let’s start with this. We need to stop acting like this is some hotel we’re staying in on assignment. Are you…okay with this?”

“You are stunning,” he murmured, as she unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor. She felt her breath catch and her face flush at the love in his eyes before swiftly pulling the long t-shirt down over her head.

“Are you…are you going to get ready too?”

She hoped so. Because right now she was extremely self-conscious, having stripped down almost completely naked in front of him. He stood there, t-shirt and shorts in hand, but completely forgotten.

“I, uh, would like to,” he said, suddenly looking anywhere but directly at her, “But I seem to have…that is…”

She glanced down and felt her breath catch.

“Oh,” she said softly. It had never occurred to her that in this context it would make him self-conscious for her to see him like this. After all, she’d seen him aroused before, but usually during some moment of intimacy between them. “I didn’t realise…I mean…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Oh, no, you didn’t!” he exclaimed, and she suddenly wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. She seemed to be messing this up spectacularly. What had started out as a bold step forward had turned into an awkward sitcom on one of those late-night channels. She forced herself to look back at Clark, who thankfully was smiling at her. “It’s okay. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know it’s no secret how much I want you, but we’ve decided to wait and I didn’t want you to think…that is…I didn’t want to push.”

“Clark, I just took almost all my clothes off in front of you,” she said, her voice affectionate and bemused, “and you’re worried about making me uncomfortable? You really aren’t from this planet. And you’re not pushing if we’re both just getting ready for bed.”

“Taking our clothes off in front of each other isn’t just getting ready for bed,” he said softly as he undid the buttons of his shirt. He’d shed his suit jacket and tie earlier in the evening, so the dress shirt and trousers were all that was left. Lois wondered why he didn’t just spin into his shorts. After all, he didn’t need to physically go through the motions of undressing the way she did. Then again, even if she hadn’t meant to tease him, she clearly had. Maybe this was just his own version of revenge. If it was, she would happily pay the price.

“You’re right,” she said, her voice coming out as a squeak. So much for confident. “But you were also right that the two of us living together is the first step. If we want real intimacy, we need to be comfortable with each other. You know…get used to being together.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you naked,” Clark said with a grin. “I think you’ll always take my breath away.” She felt her throat go dry as he removed his shirt and undid the belt to his trousers. Her hands shook slightly at the sight of him and she wondered how she would survive seeing him fully naked. Oh yeah, they definitely needed practice.

“Even when I’m old and covered in wrinkles?” she asked, trying to banish this feeling of breathlessness as he pulled his trousers down, revealing his black boxer briefs.

“Especially when you’re covered in wrinkles,” he teased. “Wrinkles are very sexy.”

“I learn something new about you every day,” she laughed. The feeling of awkwardness seemed to melt away. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I sometimes jump into things without thinking, and after waking up together and our dinner tonight, I thought ‘I’m ready for this next step’, but I didn’t think about the fact that you’ve waited so long and…well, I don’t want you to think I was…teasing you. I mean, it must drive you crazy…when we’re close like this, I mean.”

She paused in her ramble to notice just how close his body, now naked from the waist up, was to hers. He’d moved closer to her as she spoke, and she suddenly found herself beyond nervous and just as aroused as he was. Whose brilliant idea had it been to get him to take off his clothes? Oh right, hers.

“It does drive me crazy,” he admitted, his voice soft and husky. She noticed that he seemed to be opening and closing his hands — as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. “But it doesn’t bother me. It feels nice…just the feel of it. Every new step we take is even more exciting to me because I know where it’s heading. I know what I’m waiting for. And you are beyond worth it.”

“Okay, you have to stop being so perfect,” she murmured. “It’s making me look bad.”

Unable to help herself, she reached out and took his hand. He held it, looking down at their hands, then up to her, their eyes locking for about five seconds before he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. She felt her body press against the solid expanse of his chest and whimpered as their tongues met, tentatively at first and then more frantically as the heat that had been simmering between them fanned to a roaring flame once more.

Stumbling backwards, they made their way to the bed. Clark sat down on it and Lois climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Okay,” he panted in between hungry kisses, “now you’re deliberately teasing me.”

“Do you want me to stop?” she breathed.

“No,” he said, his voice ragged with need. He pulled away from the kiss and Lois gasped at the mixture of desire and love she saw in his eyes. “But fair warning, I don’t know how much more of this my self-control can take.”

“I understand,” she said and reluctantly moved off him. He smiled reassuringly, and she could see he wasn’t angry. She wondered if his continual acceptance of her boundaries was the reason she kept pushing them. She’d never been with anyone who didn’t try to push for more even after being told no. It was a brand-new experience and one that ironically had the effect of making her want to take that next step.

“Wow,” he said after a moment of companionable silence. “Every time I think that being with you can’t get any better…you kiss me like that. When’s our wedding again? Can we move up the date?”

Lois laughed and squeezed his hand. She glanced at him one more time and took a deep breath.

“We can’t move up the date, but we can move forward,” she said, her voice determined but slightly unsteady. He gave her a confused look. “It isn’t because of the wedding…the reason I want to wait, I mean. That was a date I chose because I thought that it would help me to move past my nerves and fears if we made love for the first time on the happiest day of our lives.”

“Oh,” Clark said, looking a little bit surprised. “I mean I knew you were a bit nervous. You told me as much when we were in that virtual simulation, but I didn’t think…I didn’t realise…”

“I didn’t tell you,” she clarified, “because I was embarrassed. I mean, here you are the guy with zero experience and I’m the nervous wreck? I kept telling myself I was being silly, that I had no right to be scared because we’re so good together.”

“Everyone has a right to their feelings,” told her, his voice gentle and reassuring. “And I can assure you that having zero experience is terrifying in its own right. Especially with a woman so strong like you. I guess it was silly to think that our talk in the virtual simulation was enough.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But...I want to...talk, I mean. I think I need to. I can’t promise you that I still won’t want to wait until the wedding, but I think if we both get our fears out in the open, that when we do make love, it will be better.”

“We have all day tomorrow,” he pointed out. “Let’s make a date. We’ll have breakfast, I’ll make some tea and we’ll talk…really talk. Both of us.”

“Yes,” she said, and for some reason found herself fighting back tears. Something about the way he spoke to her triggered an emotional release that she hadn’t anticipated. She looked at him and gave him a tremulous smile. “Will it drive you crazy tonight, if I ask you to hold me?”

“Yes,” he said gruffly, brushing a tear away from her cheek and kissing her lips softly. “But I’ll do it anyway.”