Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Federal Disaster (15-16/37)

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Chapter 15

Lois woke up the next morning and was surprised when she reached across and found that Clark wasn’t there. She was even more surprised to realise that, despite being only their second night sharing a bed, she didn’t like waking up without him. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, trying to clear the fogginess from her brain.

Eventually, the scent of bacon being fried in a pan wafted into the room and Lois found herself climbing out of bed and following it like a child following the pied piper.

She shuffled into the kitchen just in time to see Clark setting the plates on the table.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he said, his voice warm and velvety. He had obviously gotten straight out of bed to make breakfast — his hair was rumpled and unruly, and he had yet to put a shirt on. Okay, she was awake. She was very, very awake.

The coffee maker made a dinging sound, signalling that it was done brewing, and Lois made herself useful by grabbing two mugs and pouring the coffee into them. It took her a minute before she noticed that one of the mugs must belong to Clark, as she had never seen it before. It was an odd shape, with the bottom of the mug curved slightly outwards just enough so that it didn’t sit perfectly flat on the table. It was a hodgepodge of colours and patterns, none of them feeling like they quite made sense. They reminded her of his ties, though not quite as much of an assault on the eyes.

He must have seen her staring at it, as he approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, placing an extremely tantalising kiss on her neck. She shivered and nearly knocked the mug over. As it was, it rocked back and forth like one of those circus clowns with the large floppy shoes.

“Where on Earth did you get that?” she wondered, her expression both amused and slightly breathless. He was, after all, almost completely naked, save for a pair of shorts with his arms wrapped around her body, his warm bare skin enveloping her. He smelled like bacon and sleepy man, a scent she decided was beyond intoxicating.

“My mom made it during her ceramic cookware period,” he said, placing soft kisses on the back of her neck. She felt herself respond, and decided she needed to move away from him if this breakfast was ever going to get eaten.

“I like it,” she said and he grinned at her in a way that told her he knew she was lying. “I also like this whole you making me breakfast in the morning thing…though not so much the waking up alone part.”

They both sat down at the table and Clark took a sip of his wobbly mug, and gave her a slightly self-conscious look.

“When I woke up, I felt a bit…restless,” he confessed. “I thought it would be a good idea to make breakfast.”

A smile played across her lips as her eyes met his. He looked slightly embarrassed, which she found beyond endearing.

“Do you wake up…restless a lot?” she asked, allowing her bold, flirtatious side to take the reins. He looked a tad startled, then gave her a shy smile.

“Lois, I’m a virgin. Just looking at you makes me…restless.”

“Oh,” she said softly, looking down at her bacon. He reached out and took her hand.

“Then I saw you last night and…well, I haven’t been able to think of anything other than how much I want you. Is it okay if I tell you that?”

“Yes!” She hadn’t meant to blurt it out that way and gave a nervous laugh to cover her embarrassment. “I mean, that’s what we’re supposed to be doing this morning, right? Clearing the air?”

“Do you want to start now?” he asked. She was tempted to say yes, but the grumble in her stomach distracted her. They both laughed.

“After bacon,” she replied, “bacon first.”

*****

With breakfast finished and cleared away, they both made their way into the living room and sat down on opposite ends of her couch. They sat there for a few moments in what was all of a sudden extremely awkward silence. Lois couldn’t remember feeling this nervous around him.

He seemed to be feeling it too — something she could tell just by glancing at him, which was comforting. He was eventually the one to break the stalemate as he gestured to the kitchen.

“Do we, uh…want some tea? Or some more…tension?”

Lois laughed, which made her feel better. This wasn’t some scary super villain in front of her. It was Clark, her fiance.

“No tea,” she said with a shake of her head. “We just had coffee. I just wish this wasn’t so…”

“Scary?”

“Yeah,” she replied, relieved he understood. “Although I’m not sure why. I could undress in front of you last night, yet talking to you about making love is nerve wracking.”

“Being naked is different than being vulnerable,” Clark supplied softly.

“Sometimes they’re the same, believe me,” she replied with a sad sigh. “I guess…if we want to get anywhere I need to be okay with being vulnerable. So, here it goes.”

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. She knew he wasn’t going to want to hear some of what she had to say, given that it meant talking about some of the men she had been with in the past, but it had to be done. She needed him to know.

“I need to start by telling you that I didn’t sleep with Lex.” She watched as Clark opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off before he could. “I realise that you never asked, because neither of us likes to talk about him, but I need you to know that.”

“Why?” he asked, though there wasn’t any recrimination in this tone. It was a logical question. She’d been engaged to him as well, and given that she didn’t have any particularly strong religious beliefs, he’d likely just assumed they’d had sex and hadn’t wanted to know the particulars, which she couldn’t blame him for.

“I knew I didn’t love him,” she said, cringing as she spoke the words out loud. “I know how that sounds, but I didn’t think I was capable of…well, I thought admiration and respect were as good as love. I knew I didn’t feel any passion or excitement or anything else they write about in romance novels.”

She fiddled with the bottom of her long t-shirt and was suddenly acutely aware that hadn’t gotten dressed. She looked back at Clark, who seemed to understand she wasn’t finished. He waited patiently while she collected her thoughts.

“I understand now, that things are real. What I feel with you…it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I feel like I need you the way I need water, or air. And when you touch me…”

“I know,” he said, his voice rough and his eyes unreadable. “I feel it too.”

She nodded, her pulse suddenly racing as their eyes met. Oh yeah, passion was real. She focused on what she was trying to say, refusing to let his magnetic eyes and incredible bare chest distract her.

“Anyway…I knew I couldn’t feel like that with him, and I’d had enough unpleasant sexual experiences, so I found a way to delay it. I told him…that I wanted to wait until we were married.”

The phrase hung in the air for a moment and Lois waited for the look of disgust she was sure would follow as he realised that he shared something in common with Lex Luthor. Instead, he nodded and looked at his hands for a minute.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I should have tried harder to convince you he was evil. I could have told you my secret…you shouldn’t have had to —”

“It’s not your fault,” Lois interrupted, “and I don’t really want to talk about him, but if we are going to have this conversation, I'm going to have to talk about the men in my past, and I needed you to know that he wasn't one of them.”

“Even if he was,” Clark said, reaching out to touch her cheek gently with the pad of his thumb, “it doesn’t change how I see you.”

“I know,” she replied, feeling as if she were about to cry and not really understanding why. “Sometimes it changes how I see myself, though. The experiences I’ve had with other men…well, for the longest time I thought it was me. Like I wasn’t good enough to make them want to stay.”

She took a shuddering breath and gave him a half-hearted smile.

“Logically, I know that’s not true, but…” she trailed off trying to find a way to say what she was feeling in a way he would understand.

“Every time I met someone I thought I cared about, it seemed that all it took was one night with me and they were on the next greyhound out of town. It made me wonder if I wasn’t any good…sexually.”

“Lois, I’m completely in love with you,” Clark said, sounding more than a little surprised. Whatever he’d been expecting her to say, that wasn’t it. He stood up and paced the room for a moment before sitting back down at the end of the couch. “You’re all I think about when…I mean every fantasy I’ve ever had has been…wow, I am really messing this up, aren’t I?”

She laughed softly, which helped relieve some of her fears, but not all. He still didn’t seem to understand what she was trying to tell him — at least, not fully.

“I know you love me,” she assured him. And she did, that much was never in question. “I just need you to understand some of the reasons that I’m scared.”

"I'm scared too! Terrified actually!” he exclaimed. “I've never done this before. What if I can’t…I mean, what if I’m not able to…I mean Claude may have been a jerk, but I bet he knew what he was doing when it came to…”

The more he talked, the more the penny dropped, and Lois felt her cheeks flush slightly. It should have occurred to her that he would have these fears, given his inexperience, but for some reason it still surprised her. Perhaps it was because whenever he touched her, it felt as if he knew exactly how to give her pleasure, like an instinct as old as time.

"You're worried about pleasing me?" she asked quietly and found herself floored by the depth of love for him.

"Of course," he replied. She looked away for a moment, fighting the emotion that swelled within her.

"Well, you'd be the first,” she said a bit more sharply than she’d intended. It still stung to have been hurt so many times that she’d come to expect it. She gathered her courage, knowing that if she didn’t say what she needed to say, it would eat her alive.

“I've never told anyone this, but I've never...had an orgasm. At least not with a man. I've had one with myself, I mean...oh God, this is the worst time to ramble isn't it? I guess what I am trying to say is that I've always...had to fake it. With men who didn't even care about me. I know, I know...insult, meet injury. But the thing is I don't want to...fake it with you, I mean."

"Lois, you couldn't fake it with me," he told her with a slightly bemused smile. His tone was light and affectionate and it took some of the heaviness out of the room. She met his smile with one of her own, feeling able to return some of the banter.

"That's an awfully bold statement for a man who just admitted to being terrified," she teased gently.

"No, I wasn't trying to brag,” he insisted. Then, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I mean that...I sense when you're…. aroused. My powers...they can feel your pulse, hear your heart rate increase or decrease, smell when you’re...well, you know. I hope you don't see it as a violation, but I've been using it to figure out what you like...how you want to be touched. In my head, I think of it as my Lois homework. So that I don't make a complete fool of myself when we...are you mad?"

He must have looked up and seen the look on her face, mistaking it for anger. In truth, anger was the last emotion she was feeling. Surprised? Check. Head-over-heels in love? Check. Incredibly aroused at the thought of him paying attention to every aspect of her body while they were together to see what pleased her?

Check. Check. Double check.

“Lois?” he said tentatively, once more.

Her mind raced all of a sudden with images of the two of them together, her in his lap, his lips on her neck, her hands in his hair. She swallowed hard and her breathing was suddenly very shallow. She bit her lip and forced herself to speak.

"Clark, that's the most romantic thing I have ever heard," she breathed. He looked a little surprised by her statement, and somehow it only made her want him more.

"Really?” he said, his voice somewhat hoarse as he attempted levity.

“Clark,” she said, her voice a near whimper as she shifted at the other side of the couch once more. “I want you…right now.”

“I know,” he said, his voice tight with barely contained restraint.

She watched as he slowly moved closer towards her, until he was sitting right beside her, though she noticed he was careful not to touch her. A muscle worked in his jaw.

It was all she could do, not to reach out and touch his leg. She knew that would be all it would take before he would be on top of her, pinning her down in an almost primal way. She knew they were supposed to be talking, but part of her was done talking. Part of her just wanted to feel.

“So what do we do?” she asked.

“What do you want to do, Lois?” he asked, his jaw clenched, hands tightly gripping the sofa.

“I want to make love to you,” she told him and it felt like a confession. As she said it out loud, she felt something inside of her unclench. She made a noise that sounded like a half-laugh, half-cry and he gave her a startled look. “I don’t know if it means waiting until the wedding, or letting you carry me into the bedroom right now. All I know is I want you.”

“I want you too,” he said, his voice a ragged whisper. The intensity of the emotion in his voice caught her off guard, but she knew what she was feeling now. Relief. Intense, profound, relief. Well, relief and need. “I…I have an idea.”

Chapter 16

Lois kept her hands clasped tightly in her lap, trying to clamp down on the desire that was coursing through her. Clark was similarly affected, and though both of them had turned a major corner, she could see on Clark’s face that he understood why she’d been reluctant to make love in the first place. They both had fears.

And they both wanted each other. But now, she understood that it meant more to her that they were on the same page. So she waited as Clark also fought to regain control of himself long enough to explain his idea.

“Okay,” she whispered, trying to think about something else — anything else than how badly she wanted to kiss him. “What’s your idea?”

“I was thinking, that…” he looked a little shy all of a sudden, which only intrigued her further. “Well, we’ve only been practice-living-together for two days, and I think it’s going well.”

She nodded, and let out a breath, willing her heart rate to slow down. His dark eyes were still so intense, so deeply fixed on her that she had trouble letting go of the urge to pull him down on top of her and…nope. Focus. Focus.

“I was thinking there were other things we could…practice,” he was saying.

“What do you mean practice?” she asked, feeling breathless all over again. Something told her she was going to like this suggestion.

“There are…uh…other ways to make love that don’t include…” He sighed and let out a breath. “There are things we could try…practice…if you wanted to that don’t include the big threshold. Oh wow, that sounded so much better in my head.”

“Trust me, it sounds pretty good from here,” she said, feeling her entire body react to his words.

“Do…you want to…do other things?” she asked, her entire face flushed with embarrassment. She wondered if he was talking about what she thought he was talking about.

“More than you know,” he said, and his voice was more than husky.

“So you want…” she glanced down at his shorts.

“Oh! No! I mean…” He gestured down at his lap, his entire face suddenly resembling a very handsome beet. “I wouldn’t say no if you wanted…but I wasn’t asking…I wasn’t expecting…”

He took a deep breath. “Ever notice how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to?”

“Yeah, I’m familiar with the feeling,” she replied thinking of all her rambles, too numerous to name. “So what you’re saying is —”

“We could…” he ran a hand through his hair, and she could see the frustration he felt trying to get the words out. It was rolling off him in waves. “Get to know each other more fully. Learn what we like, what we don’t like. Cross some little thresholds before we cross the big threshold. You could help me…teach me.”

Oh, God. Was he talking about…

“I could…focus on those other things…” his face was still flushed, but his eyes never left hers. She bit her lip as she realised what he was offering to do. And what surprised her even more was just how badly she wanted him to do it. It was an act she hadn’t enjoyed in the past, particularly because she knew deep down that it was ultimately about their egos and never about her pleasure. Looking at the earnest and very hungry expression on Clark’s face she knew that he meant every word he said about wanting to learn what pleased her. There was something immensely sexy about the idea of it.

And yet, there was also fear. After all, if Clark genuinely meant it when he said he wanted her to help teach him — and she believed he did — then it meant she had to be honest enough and brave enough to tell him what she liked and what she didn’t like. She knew from experience how fragile male ego could be, and while she didn’t think Clark was like any of those other men, criticism in the heat of a moment like this couldn’t be easy, especially when he was already so inexperienced. Could he handle it if she was truly honest with him?

He must have sensed her hesitation because he reached out and took her hand. Jolts of pleasure shot through her body as they touched, and she fought to keep from gasping out loud.

“It’s okay,” he said gently. “It was just an idea. If you aren’t ready, I’ll wait.”

“It’s not that,” she said, trying not to be distracted by the fact that he’d let go of her hand and was now touching her knee. “I like your idea…love it, even. I’m just not sure…well, you know how I hate it when you edit my copy, right? Well, it’s because in a way, I often feel my writing is a very personal thing and it’s hard not to respond negatively to criticism even when it’s well intended and —”

A smile spread across Clark’s face, turning into a soft but very affectionate laugh. Lois found herself smiling as well, though she wasn’t sure why.

“What?” she said with mock hurt. He grinned and once again her mind reminded her of just how incredibly sexy he was. As well as the fact that he still had no shirt.

“Only you could compare my err...offer, with me editing your copy,” he replied and she looked down at her knee where his hand still rested, silently willing him to move it further up her thigh. He continued to speak and his thumb moved gently back and forth, which was intensely distracting in the best way. “I get it, though. And I promise you, that my offer is as much for me as it is for you. When I told you my biggest fear is that I won’t please you, I meant it. I also meant what I said about, um…being able to tell when you are enjoying things.”

She remembered. That knowledge was imprinted in her brain. Ironically, if she thought about it, Clark knowing what excited her was not that different from being able to visibly see evidence of it. It put them on a level playing field in that respect. “You really want to do this?” she asked. He arched his eyebrows and she inadvertently glanced back down at his shorts. “I just meant…you know…me um…editing your copy.”

“Yes,” he said and there was no mistaking the rasp in his voice or the way his fingers inched ever so slightly up her thigh. She swallowed hard and tried to remember to breathe. “Believe it or not, the idea of you teaching me is…an incredible fantasy. But beyond that, if I’m honest with myself, I would rather you tell me you weren’t enjoying it than to know you weren’t and have you say nothing. Does that make sense?”

“I love you so much,” she said softly, but with a great deal of feeling behind it. She’d never experienced this level of thoughtfulness, love and passion from anyone before. He was almost too good to be real.

“I love you too,” he responded and the emotion in his voice took her breath away. He looked at her hopefully. “So does this mean you’d like to —”

“I would very much like to,” she replied, both relieved and suddenly very very aware that they were still both half dressed. “Did you mean now, or…”

“Now would work for me,” he shot back with lighthearted ease that couldn’t quite mask how nervous he suddenly was. “I can check my schedule, but I’m pretty sure I’m free…”

His hand crept a little further up her thigh. Their eyes met and it felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

“Oh?” she said innocently, her voice an entire octave higher than normal as his other hand mirrored the first one on her other leg. “So what’s step one then?”

“Do you need to see an outline first?” He grinned now and she felt herself surprised at how insanely exciting this was. Well, exciting and utter torture.

“Well, if I’m going to be teaching you, I think it’s only right that I see some of your work,” she replied, trying to maintain a light teasing tone and failing with how affected she was feeling..

He was about to do just that when the phone rang, startling them both. She heard herself groan out loud with frustration. They both sat there, completely frozen with indecision as it rang a second and third time. In any other situation, she would have ignored it but they both knew it could be Jimmy or Claude calling from the Planet with important information on the story. With the trade talks taking place, time was of the essence.

“We could ignore it,” she said, as he reluctantly pulled his hands away.

“Believe me, I would like nothing more than to throw that phone out the window,” he admitted, as he stood up and walked over to answer it. He picked it up with a “Clark Kent here,” and she listened to Clark’s half of the conversation, trying to put her own frustration aside.

When he hung up, she knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“That was Claude. He found something important.”

She nodded. “I guess we had better get dressed?”

“You go first,” he said, gesturing towards the bathroom. “I’m going to uh…do a couple laps around the North Pole before I get dressed.”

A smile played across her face. “So that’s how you deal with frustration? Won't anyone...notice?” she asked, glancing down to note just how affected he still was.

“I’ll fly high,” he grinned. “See you in a bit.”

Lois watched as he spun around and zipped out the window. She shook her head, and headed towards the shower.

“My life is so weird.”