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#293726 11/18/22 10:26 AM
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Story is Here

FDK goes here. smile


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HOLY COW, woman! I started off just jotting some general notes of fdk I wanted to give, as you can see below. And then…well, I had to hold back because I could almost just comment on every sentence and phrase! notworthy

The details are so good! They really let you immerse in the environment and time period!

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She was blue-lipped, shaking, and covered in blood, with at least one set of teeth marks that he could see among the bruises; but her eyes were wild with victory, and with the hand that wasn’t carrying a rabbit, she dragged behind her the carcass of a wolf.

Mad Wolf.

The name suited her.

Ahahaha!! I snorted aloud at this! Such a visceral image, then bam! lol

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She was becoming reckless, and reckless hunters never grew old. It seemed that whenever she was lonely, she would disappear longer and return with bigger game and more injuries.

Oh wow, I love this! I can’t exactly say why…something about wistful and wanderlust and FEELS.

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When the moon had shrunk to a faint sliver,

Is it wrong that I’m almost mad at how good these details are? All these little things that bring into the environment and time, like I said above. These little details so innocently woven in here… genius.

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Whatever he was, he looked like a man.

“Certainly seems to have all the parts of a man…” echoes in my head. lol

And OMG OMG… just… the WHOLE LAST FIVE PARAGRAPHS… it’s all so amazing and perfect! GAHHHHHH. GAH!


Sara smile


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Also: GAHHHH!


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So...did you like it, then? grin


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Originally Posted by Queen of the Capes
So...did you like it, then? grin

Eh, it was okay. huh

(Oh, man… I LOL’d irl at this comment for like a whole minute! rotflol)


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Incredible writing. Just WOW.

...hurries off to go find and read The Gift of Language...


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So where's the sequel with her new name? grovel

Thanks for sharing.


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Hi Mary!
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It's set in the same elseworld as The Gift of Language
Ooohhhh! And is the Wolf Lex?

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She had another name, once. The old chief sometimes wondered if she even remembered it. It seemed to have disappeared, long ago, when that scrawny young woman with defiance in her eyes sharpened a piece of flint and ran out into the snowy twilight.
Was it Burner of Food? Now she’s Bringer of Food.

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Granted, they may not have been the best or kindest offers
So, she didn’t like the offers of Stealer of Food, Lies with Women, Eater of Turned Berries, and Wet Nose?

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but surely any of them would have been better, safer, than trying to hunt game herself!
LOIS: Not if any of the *better* options can drag me away and they just stand there with mutton eyes on their faces and browned furs.

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This grueling task left even the fittest young men tired and drained of their strength
LOIS: I use sinewy stick. Not run.

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Too many of his kin had ventured out into the night, never to return.
Maybe they found tribe with more comfortable women?

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. He might not be strong enough for the chase, anymore, but the ability to sit patiently and wait for any sign of motion had never truly left him.
laugh

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and with the hand that wasn’t carrying a rabbit, she dragged behind her the carcass of a wolf.
laugh

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Mad Wolf. The name suited her.
Yes. But *wolf*? Isn’t that awfully chewy?

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The young men became warier of her after that day, and that seemed to please her as much as the name. She was Mad Wolf: a vicious, unpredictable wild thing that feared no threat and gave no mercy. She needed no one.
To this day she carries the dried parts of the wolf around her neck. A warning to all the men that she is no one’s pet.

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Mad Wolf gained a reputation as a remarkable hunter, simply because she refused to come home empty-handed.
rotflol

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It seemed that whenever she was lonely, she would disappear longer and return with bigger game and more injuries.
But how is she going to transport a mammoth?

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Whatever hWhatever he was, he looked like a man. In fact, given his nakedness and the animalistic way
Aww, Mad Wolf brought home Wolf Man. (See how the clan name is prefixed to indicate ownership?)

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His presence among the people was soon understood to be a blessing and a miracle, but the most incredible miracle of all was the change in Mad Wolf.
Now they’re twice blessed: protected from wolves on the outside and within.

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She was…calmer, somehow. Something about this wild-man's presence put her at ease.
She gets to…workout at home now?

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shared food more readily,
laugh Except for the kernels she roasts until they’re dark and then smashes and mixes with milk.

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Oh, she still kept her blade sharp and occasionally used it,
laugh

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but the Mad Wolf was as gone as the little girl she'd replaced. Perhaps, the chief decided, she would need another name.
Huh. Tamer of Men?

Great fun! Looking forward to reading about their litter hyper

wave Michael


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Nice work!


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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I could smell smoke from the fires. Perfect.

Sequel?


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.

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