Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Federal Disaster (31-32/37)

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Chapter 31

When they arrived back at Lois’ apartment later that day, she felt both exhilarated and exhausted. The President was safe, and tomorrow the whole country would know via a Daily Planet Lane and Kent exclusive, that the Vice President had been arrested for conspiring to assassinate the President along with a host of other charges. Lex Luthor would also have more charges brought against him, and this time, there would be no judges in his pocket or people under his thumb to help him weasel out.

She would need to hire someone to handle the money and buy back all the companies that Lex took over or bought out. That would take time, but it would be worth it. Lois had been too tired to talk to Perry about her stolen story, but made a mental note to do so the next day. It would be a difficult conversation — especially when it came to explaining to Perry why she hadn’t come forward back then, but it was necessary.

Claude would be returning home, though when, she wasn’t entirely sure. He wouldn’t have any work to do now, since the trade talks between the US and France were to be cancelled and an investigation launched into the French authorities behind it.

Lois felt oddly unsure of what to do with herself as they both kicked off their shoes and Lois went into the bedroom to change into something more casual. Though they hadn’t put any specific time limit on their practice run at living together, Lois had somewhat assumed that once the story was finished and the President safe, Clark would return to his own apartment and they would make their wedding preparations living separately.

She wasn’t sure why she’d been operating under that assumption — certainly nothing Clark had said had given her that impression. Maybe it was simply that the timing of their agreement had coincided with the threat to the President and Lex Luthor’s return.

Now that she felt she were truly starting to heal, she realised she didn’t need to practise living with Clark. She knew it would work — that they would work. And yet she wanted to continue practising.

She listened as Clark clattered around in the kitchen while she pulled on a pair of shorts and slipped a t-shirt on. She opted not to bother with a bra, loving the fact that she felt comfortable enough with the boundaries she and Clark had established that she knew he wouldn’t see it as an invitation. And there were times it would be — an explicit one — but not at this specific moment.

They’d spent a few nights exploring what gave them both pleasure, and Lois had a feeling that with the threat of Lex Luthor behind them, they were both ready to take the next step, and she wanted to, but she also knew that, despite the fact that it was only mid-afternoon, it had been an emotionally exhausting day and she wanted some time to relax with Clark before they had that conversation.

She made her way back into the living area to find Clark had helped himself to an apple, cut it up and offered her a slice out of the bowl. Something about the gesture made her heart clench. She wasn’t sure why. He’d made her food before in her kitchen — both when they were living separately and over the last week. But something about this moment — this snack that he made himself and casually offered to share told her that their lives were fully integrated in a way she hadn’t anticipated. It had all happened so organically that she had missed it. Or thought she had.

She declined the apple, and watched with some amusement and affection as he ate it at super speed. She was about to suggest they lie together and cuddle when an all-too-familiar look stole quickly across her fiance’s face. He gave her a slightly pained and apologetic look.

“Lois, I’m sorry, but there’s an apartment fire and…”

“Go. I’ll be here waiting,” she said softly. He nodded, and without further comment had spun into the suit and flown out her living room window. Lois gave a small sigh and decided to make herself a cup of tea while she waited for him to return. She opted not to close the window, as the day was warm and she hoped he would be back soon. In the meantime, she was grateful for the way the curtain sheers fluttered softly with the breeze.

Tea made, she was about to curl up on the couch with a book that had been neglected for the better part of a month when someone knocked on the door. She reluctantly stood up, and unlocked the door, assuming it was someone from the police department wanting a statement. It wasn’t until she began to open the door that she remembered that she and Clark had already told Henderson they would give a statement the following day.

Before she could even attempt to close the door, however, a tall, lean body pushed back against the door frame, and her eyes widened with shock as she looked up to see the face of Lex Luthor forcing himself inside her apartment.

Unable to prevent him from fully entering, she backed up and glanced around the apartment, immediately looking for something — anything — that she could use as a weapon. There was nothing.

He shut the door behind him, and as he did so, she noticed that he only used one hand. In his other hand, he held a gun and it was pointing straight at her. His eyes met hers and Lois shuddered at the terrifyingly crazed look in them. He was armed and she…she didn’t even have on a bra. He could kill her or…No. She wouldn’t think about that. She wouldn’t think about how totally and completely vulnerable she was.

“Hello, Lois,” he said, his voice soft, despite the wildness in his expression. He glanced inside, as if looking for something or someone. Clark. He had to be looking for Clark. And she had to stall for time. As much time as she could.

“Lex…how…”

“Did I get out of prison?” He sighed as if disappointed in her. “I told you, there were guards loyal to me and a warden who would look the other way. You really should have listened when I told you that those walls wouldn’t hold me for long.”

“But you don’t have your —”

“Money?” Lex interrupted. His eyes flashed dangerously and Lois cursed herself for her misstep. Bringing up the fact that she’d moved the money out of the account he’d set up was not a smart move. “Yes, you did leave me in a bit of a bind, didn’t you? Thankfully my escape was planned long before the warden and guards knew that you’d stolen the funds I was using to pay them, or that the Vice President had been arrested. They assumed my pardon was forthcoming, which was lucky for me. But very unlucky for you and Mr. Kent. Where is he, by the way?”

“He went to the store to get bread,” Lois lied. Her hands shook and she tried to hide them behind her back as she took stock of what she could use to defend herself if it came to it. She wouldn’t have enough time to get to the kitchen to grab the knife that Clark had used to cut the apple with. The umbrella stand where her umbrella sat was directly behind where Lex currently stood. There was nothing she could use to defend herself with if he pulled the trigger and Clark was still gone. Even if she called for him, he wouldn’t get back in time. And Lex knew it.

“Pity,” Lex replied with a frown. “I wanted to kill him. But I suppose I’ll have to settle for —”

“Killing me?” Lois blurted out. She immediately regretted it as he fixed her with yet another unhinged look.

“Now that depends on you, Lois.” He would have sounded entirely reasonable were it not for that look in his eye — the look that told her all bets were off. A week ago, she’d been relatively confident when she’d told Clark that Lex’s obsession with her would prevent him from committing violence, but now…well, now she knew that if he truly believed there was no chance between them, that he would kill her without a second thought. It chilled her to the bone.

“How does that depend on me?” Lois asked. She already knew the answer, but her goal right now was to buy herself some time. Clark would be back as soon as he finished his rescue. She only hoped it was the only rescue he needed to attend to. Keep Lex talking, by any means necessary…that’s what she needed to do.
“Well, one way or another, I am going to get my money back from you. Now, you can either help me willingly, or you can do so…unwillingly. And I truly hope you come willingly. You look…radiant.”

The way he said the last word caused her face to drain entirely of colour. She wanted to cry, but instead she held herself together. She backed up even further and glanced towards the window in the living room silently wondering if she would be able to climb out the window before he could shoot her. Dropping down the fire escape was risky, but if she could get somewhere public…

“Don’t even think about it,” he admonished gently. “You’d be dead before you could blink.”

“If you kill me, how will you get your money?” Lois asked, unable to prevent the tremble in her voice.

“I suppose I won’t,” he replied with a shrug. It was the shrug that truly terrified her. If he was that blasé about potentially losing two hundred million dollars, then he really wouldn’t hesitate to shoot her. She had to get Clark’s attention somehow. Now.

“That’s a lot of money to lose,” she replied, trying and failing to sound casual. “How do you expect to convince me to go with you?” She watched as Lex moved slowly towards her, like a predator stalking his prey.

“I plan to appeal to your generous nature,” Lex replied with a smile that would look perfectly at home on a python. “After all, it’s in both our interests for you to come with me right now.”

Lois’ gaze settled on the wobbly mug that had been left out on the coffee table close to where Lex was currently standing. If she could get to it, she might be able to use it as a weapon. It looked to be solid enough that if aimed correctly at Lex’s head, could potentially knock him out. Lois was certain that Martha Kent would see no better purpose for the mug. The trick was to get there. Slowly, she started inching towards Lex, all the while thinking, keep him talking.

“How is it in my best interest to help you at all?” She took a small step. “Surely you must know by now that the police know you’re missing.” Another small step. “The warden will likely already be in police custody, and once he realises the money is gone, he will turn on you.” Yet one more. He still hadn’t noticed. Or didn’t care. She wasn’t sure which scared her more.

“All the more reason you should want to help me,” Lex replied, waving the gun in a vaguely threatening way. “A man who has nothing left to lose is the most dangerous kind in the world. And sooner or later, Mr. Kent will be back with the bread. Don’t think for a second I won’t hesitate to shoot him the moment he walks in the door. In fact, I will relish it.”

His eyes gleamed as he spoke, and Lois knew he was telling the truth. Though she was grateful that normal bullets couldn’t hurt Clark, kryptonite could and Lex knew it. The only advantage they had was that he didn’t know Clark’s secret but that would end the moment he attempted to shoot him and failed.

She took another step and tried to sound more confident than she felt.

“So, what…I go with you and you spare Clark?” She took another step. Almost there. Just one more. “Do you honestly think the police won’t catch you? It took me three days to withdraw that money from the account you set up. I can’t do it again without raising some eyebrows. You have to know that.”

“Oh I do,” Lex replied softly. “Just as I also know that the moment you get the chance to, you will call for Superman. I have a contingency plan. I always have a contingency plan. Surely you must know this by now, my dear. I have kryptonite. Lots of it. And a place to hide. Do you remember that bunker I built? The one that was an exact replica of your apartment? Do you think that was the only one?”

She took another step, and did not break eye contact, though the surprise she felt at this statement clearly showed on her face. He smiled smugly and Lois knew that he hadn’t noticed her movements. Her hands closed over the mug. He still hadn’t noticed.

“Oh, yes,” he all but purred. “I have somewhere for the two of us to go where we will be quite hidden. I’ve had all my bases covered since —”

His words were cut off by the sudden and sharp blow that Lois delivered to the side of his head courtesy of the wobbly mug. He gave a cry of surprise and shock, dropping the gun and stumbling backwards as the mug broke and his head began to bleed.

Lois leaped forward and shoved him back as she dove for the gun. Her fingers had almost closed over it when she felt his hands close around the back of her ankle, yanking her backwards just enough that the gun was out of reach. Lois flipped around onto her back and shoved her foot into his face with all the force she had. She heard a sickening crack as her foot made contact with his nose and more blood gushed forwards.

Both of them scrambled to their feet and Lois accidentally kicked the gun even further back with her heel towards the wall near the open window. She backed up further, wanting to be able to turn around and grab the gun, but too afraid to take her eyes off of Lex, who lurched drunkenly towards her, incandescent with rage.

“You’ll regret that,” he growled, and Lois backed up another few steps until she felt the curtain sheers gently flutter against her. The window was right behind her and she could see the gun to the left of her, out of the corner of her eye. Lex thankfully hadn’t managed to locate it. She knew that the only way she could keep him from finding it was to keep him mad. She could fight him one-on-one if she had to. She’d already managed to wound him, and she merely had to stall for time. She could do this. And part of her wanted to do this. She just needed to keep him from getting the gun until Clark —

Oh no. Kryptonite. He said he had kryptonite. Did he have it on him? She couldn’t risk finding out. She had to somehow stop him before Clark got back.

Taunt him. Distract him. Keep him mad.

“What’s the matter, Lex? Is the honeymoon over?” she taunted, keeping her voice as level as possible. He was facing her now, and still hadn’t noticed the gun. She knew if she moved towards it, he would see it too and could potentially get there before her. “Did you really think I was going to come with you? Willingly?”

“You loved me once,” he insisted, though now he didn’t sound so sure. She kept eye contact as he inched closer to her. The lower half of his face was stained red with the blood from his nose, and his head wound bled freely. He looked almost demonic and Lois had to remind herself that she knew some martial arts and he was injured. It was as close to a fair fight as she was going to get.

“I never loved you,” Lois replied, spitting the words out as savagely as she could. “I loved Clark. It was always Clark. You were a mistake…an aberration of my sanity.”

“You’re lying!” he yelled, this time a bit louder and with a bit less control. He moved a step closer, and she realised that being right up against the open window was her best advantage. “We were happy. We were in love. You’ve been brainwashed by that…Kent, but you’ll love me again. I can make you love me.”

“You can’t make anyone love you, Lex,” Lois said. She would have felt sad for him, were it not for the fact that he was completely deranged and utterly psychotic. “You’ve never loved anything or anyone in your life. You don’t know how to do anything but control people. But I am done letting you control me. I would rather die than go anywhere with you.”

“I can arrange that,” he hissed, lunging towards her. In his rage, he was clumsy and slow, which gave her the advantage, allowing her the time she needed to leap out of the way, knocking him forwards as she dove to the left where the gun still lay.

She picked it up and rounded on him, only to see that he’d gotten tangled in her curtain sheers. Before she could even process what was happening, he fell backwards, grabbing onto the sheers as he fell out the window and hurtled down the three-story building head first.

The sound of his body hitting the concrete followed by the screams of passers-by told her everything she needed to know.

Dead. He was dead.

And yet, despite knowing this, she looked anyway. The sight of it almost made her physically sick.

Blood. There was so much blood. She hadn’t realised the human body had so much to spill, and yet it did so freely, staining the sidewalk a deep crimson she wasn’t sure would ever come out.

She drew back from the window, the gun clattering to the ground as she sank to her knees, dry heaving and retching. The room seemed to spin and she felt herself growing lightheaded, putting her head between her knees as she fought to keep from passing out.

The whoosh of Clark’s return sounded oddly far away and she barely noticed as he lifted her into his arms. His face swam in front of her and though he was speaking to her, he sounded as if he were underwater. Eventually, she was able to make out bits and pieces.

“...okay? Lois? Lois...”

“‘M okay,” she managed to say, “but Lex he…he…”

“I know,” Clark said, coming more sharply into focus. Her thoughts returned to her and Clark — seeing she was more in control of herself — set her down on the couch. He then made his way over to the phone and picked it up, dialling 911. She barely paid attention to the conversation that followed and didn’t even notice as Clark changed out of the suit and into a t-shirt and jeans.

It wasn’t until he picked up the gun and gently set it down on the coffee table, that her entire body began to tremble. She hadn’t even noticed she was crying until the tears landed on her hands and her vision blurred. He was next to her instantly, pulling her close while she shook softly against him.

“Is he really…?”

“Yeah,” Clark replied, and for once she wasn’t sure what he was feeling. “I…Superman saw him fall.”

“He came in here while you were gone,” she sobbed. “He had a gun and he wanted to…but I fought back and then he got caught in the curtains and…and I…”

“You didn’t kill him,” Clark reassured her. “It was an accident. And I am so glad it was, because if I’d gotten here a moment sooner I might have —”

“No,” Lois interrupted, shaking her head through her tears. “You…you wouldn’t…you couldn’t…you…” She wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t want to hear him say the words out loud, despite knowing deep down in her gut that they were true. Superman wouldn’t kill. It was against his moral code, but Clark where Lex was concerned?

“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding on the verge of panic. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just feel so helpless. I wasn’t here. He got to you, and I wasn’t here. Again.”

“Not your fault,” she said, shaking her head violently as if to dispel the image of Lex’s body from her mind. She couldn’t make sense of her emotions. One moment she was feeling the most intense guilt she’d ever felt and the next, she felt so panicked and scared she didn’t think she would ever stop shaking. She felt intense relief but also anger. She had no idea which emotion was dominant at any given time and barely noticed as Clark pulled her back into his arms, holding her and murmuring his love as fiercely as he could in an attempt to keep the demons at bay.

She had no idea how much time passed as they sat there. Eventually, a knock at the door shook them both out of their stupor. Clark scanned it and stood up.

“It’s Henderson,” he told her gently, looking completely helpless. She knew he wanted to answer the door and tell Henderson not to bother them, but she also knew that wasn’t possible. Lex Luthor had attacked her and now he was dead. She was going to have to pull herself together and answer some very difficult questions.

“It’s okay,” she said, grabbing a nearby tissue and attempting to clean her face. “It’s okay, I…you can let him in.”

Chapter 32

Henderson and his men took their time, not leaving Lois’ apartment until well after the sun had set. Not once during those several hours that Henderson and the other officers were there, had he treated her like a potential criminal despite the fact that there were no witnesses to say that Lex had fallen and not been pushed out the window. Given her history with Lex Luthor, Lois felt that it would only make sense for her to be considered the prime suspect, but Henderson did not behave as if he believed her to be anyone other than a witness. He simply had his men cordon off the scene, gather evidence and eventually take Lex’s body to the morgue

Clark had, at that point, insisted that one of Henderson’s men go with the ambulance and station himself with the body. Given what had happened the last time Lex was thought to be dead, Henderson didn’t argue.

Meanwhile, inside the apartment, Lois had sat and told Henderson her story with a sort of numb detachment while his men mapped out the sequence of events using the physical evidence available. They took a few samples of the blood on the carpet from where Lois had hit him, and had confiscated what was left of the wobbly mug along with the gun he’d brought with him. These, Henderson had assured her, would help corroborate her account. Lois was only too happy to cooperate in any way she could and too exhausted to argue or cause Henderson the usual headaches.

She wondered if her docile behaviour was part of the reason Henderson treated her with such kid gloves. He even offered to put her kettle on, but Clark beat him to it. He’d stayed silent the entire time Lois spoke. To the casual observer, he appeared almost calm. But Lois could see the way he was gripping the couch when he sat or the way he seemed to need to get up every few moments either to get something to drink, make a snack for the officers or some other task she knew could wait.

She knew that he was almost certainly beating himself up for not being there, but she couldn’t help but feel damn grateful for that. One of Henderson’s men had confirmed to Henderson that Lex’s body had kryptonite in his pocket. It had been taken straight to Star Labs to be locked up with the other samples. Knowing that it hadn’t been an empty threat had caused her entire body to go cold. She might have lost Clark if he’d been there to try to save her.

No, it was better this way. Eventually, when there were no more questions for Lois to answer, Clark had inquired as to whether Lois was going to be charged with anything. Henderson had shaken his head, and Lois felt tension leave her body she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding in.

“We don’t see any reason to press charges at this time,” Henderson said and Lois couldn’t help but notice the gentleness in his voice. “All the evidence checks out so far. We will just need a statement from Superman, as you said he was the one to see Luthor fall, correct?”

“Uh, yeah,” Lois replied, cursing herself for mentioning that detail. She’d been flustered and had almost said Clark’s name instead. “He had to attend to another rescue, so he couldn’t stay, but thankfully Clark arrived home around the same time.”

“All the same, since he saw the fall, we’d like to speak with him. I doubt a prosecutor will want to go anywhere near this case if Superman’s seal of approval is on it. Will you tell him to come by the station if you see him?”

“Will do,” Clark said with a nod. Lois felt slightly nauseous as Henderson motioned to his officers that it was time to leave. He got all the way to the door before turning to look at her once more.

“It’s just a formality, Lois,” he assured her. “I have no intention of taking this anywhere. You’re not a murderer. The only murderer in this scenario got what he deserved. I fully believe that. Goodnight.”

****

“You didn’t kill him,” Clark said, shutting the door after Henderson and the other officers had left. He sat down next to her on the couch. “It was an accident. Even Henderson thinks so.”

Lois knew he was telling the truth. Academically, she knew. She had gone over the scene in her head and out loud to Henderson over and over in the hours since it had happened. She'd done what she'd had to do and she'd survived. What’s more, she'd protected Clark. And, if she was honest with herself, she felt absolutely no sadness or remorse over the fact that Lex was dead. Dead meant he couldn’t hurt them anymore. Dead meant that she and Clark could finally be at peace.

And yet, she worried that there was something wrong with her for feeling this way. And, despite the fact that she did feel peace, she also worried she would never get the image out of her head of Lex’s body on the pavement cracked and broken with blood pooling around him.

She must have been in her own thoughts for too long because she felt Clark pull her gently against his chest and her legs curled underneath her automatically as she leaned into him.

“Did you hear me?” Clark asked softly, his breath warm against the top of her head. “You didn’t kill him.”

“I know,” was all she could think to say. There was just so much. She no longer felt as if every emotion was swirling through her like a tornado. Rather, it was the opposite. She felt numb and detached — as if everything had happened to a different Lois Lane and she was sitting with Clark watching it all on television. It certainly wouldn’t be a family show at this point. A viewer discretion warning would flash across the screen, especially for the death scene.

“Do you…” Clark’s voice cracked slightly, and it suddenly occurred to her that he was likely feeling some pretty strong emotions just as hers were numbing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I…” Lois sat up and looked at him. “I don’t know.” She looked away feeling somewhat ashamed, though she wasn’t sure why. She felt like there was some specific way she should be acting and she was failing. Clark seemed to expect something from her, though what that was she wasn’t sure. She mumbled her next words and broke eye contact, staring down at her hands. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Do you want me to leave?” He spoke hesitantly, but she could hear the fear in his voice. She looked up again and noticed for the first time just how tense he was. His jaw was clenched and he was sitting ramrod straight. Cold fear nestled in her stomach. Did he think she was angry with him? She couldn’t bear to think that was the case, and yet he wasn’t looking at her at the moment. Was their practice arrangement about to come to an end?

“Of course not!” she exclaimed, reaching out and clasping his hands. A former version of herself would have lashed out, but Lois didn’t have it in her to hide anymore. She’d fight for Clark tooth and nail if she had to. “Why would you ever think that I would want you to go?”

“Because you should!” he blurted out. He stood so quickly, she almost fell off the couch, and he paced for a moment or two the same way he’d done while she recounted the scene to Henderson. “I wasn’t here. I let my guard down and you —”

“No!” The ferocity in her voice caused his head to snap up and he watched as she stood up and marched right over to him and took his face in her hands. “You listen to me, Clark Kent. This is the one and only time I am going to say this. I have had a really traumatic day and I am not going to sit here after all of that and listen to you blame yourself for what happened. I’m glad you weren’t here. Glad, and…and…relieved and so very very thankful.”

“You are?” Clark looked slightly stunned and, for the moment, mollified.

“Of course I am!” she exclaimed, exasperated, and for the first time since Henderson had left, felt a little like her old self. “He had kryptonite on him! He was going to kill you and if he hadn’t, then you…”

She trailed off, not wanting to verbalise the worries that still swirled in her head. Would Clark have killed to protect her? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to know. And now she wouldn’t have to. She squared her shoulders and looked Clark in the eye.

“You’re so used to saving me, Clark,” she felt her voice waver ever so slightly as she spoke. “It’s all you’ve ever done. But tonight, I saved myself. And I saved you and I am damn proud of that, so I'd better not hear another word from you about how you should have been here to protect me. We’re partners and we protect each other.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, his shoulders slumping slightly. “You’ve had…the night from hell and I made this about me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Her heart went out to him instantly. He looked the same way she felt — lost and unsure of what to do next. He folded her into his arms and Lois felt some of the night’s tension and numbness slip away as he held her — his heartbeat beating in sync with her own.

“I love you,” she murmured into the fabric of his shirt. “And after everything that has happened, the last thing I want is for you to leave. I want you here. Not just for tonight, but for the rest of my life. Don’t you know that by now?”

“I do,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “But sometimes I get into my own head. And tonight when I got here and saw his body fall and you on the floor…well, I never knew I could feel like this. So helpless.”

“That’s how I felt,” Lois said, stepping back and looking him in the eyes. He looked at her with such utter devotion that it almost stole her breath away. “Ever since I almost married Lex, a part of me has felt…helpless. And even though I had you and he was in jail, he still had power over me. He, and every other federal disaster that came before him made me feel as if I would never be capable of a healthy relationship. And it was that part of me…that part that was still afraid that kept us from taking the next step.”

“And now?” There was no mistaking the hopefulness in his gorgeous brown eyes.

“I’m ready,” she replied knowing as she said it that she meant every word with all her heart. “It’s hard to explain, but tonight something changed. He tried to kill me, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. I’m too strong.”

“You are,” Clark murmured, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I am so grateful for it…for you.”

“There’s a lot I need to process,” Lois admitted, taking a deep breath. “I still don’t know what I’m feeling. But I do know that I need you here with me. And that’s a new feeling for me. Need. I used to feel like needing someone was a weakness. And I fought so hard against it, but I…”

She choked back a sob that seemed to bubble up in her chest and he pulled her close immediately, holding her tightly as she rode the wave of emotion that seemed to crash through her.

“I need you too,” he whispered between gentle kisses atop her head. “I’ve needed you from the first moment I saw you. So much it scared me. It still scares me.”

“Then we will be scared together,” Lois said with a shaky laugh as she wiped her tears away with her sleeve. “So no more talk of you leaving me…got it?”

“I didn’t mean forever, I just meant…y’know, tonight,” he said quietly, his dark eyes searching hers. “I just thought that maybe you’d want some space.”

“If I want space, I’ll tell you, I promise,” Lois assured him, reaching up to touch his cheek gently. She understood why he was unsure and confused. The woman she’d been before Clark had agreed to stay had pushed him away on more than one occasion. She’d become so used to being hyper-independent, that it hadn’t occurred to her to do anything else. “But you were right a week ago when you said that if we wanted to build a life together, I couldn’t just run home when things got difficult. You helped me understand that. And after tonight…I don’t want to be alone.”

“Not alone,” he rasped, dipping his head and claiming her lips in a strong, surprisingly fierce kiss. “Never alone.”

She surrendered to him immediately, allowing her entire body to be consumed by the feel of his tongue thrusting into her mouth and the strength of his arms as he pulled her flush against his body. She moaned softly and felt that familiar rush of heat that always seemed to be there whenever he touched her…whenever he looked at her. His kisses quickly became more frantic and Lois couldn’t help but be swept up in his urgency…his need. It mirrored her own.

His arms tightened around her ever so slightly, and she felt his hands moving down her body until they clutched her butt. She tried to think, tried to force her brain to concentrate. Was this the right time? Was this the right place? She’d been attacked hours ago and watched her attacker fall to his death and she…

Needed this. Needed this so badly it hurt.

Oh God, he felt good. Tasted so good. She moaned again, this time louder and he gripped her tighter. She created a little bit of space between them partly for her own sanity and partly because she wanted to touch him — had to touch him.

She placed her hands against his chest and felt him gasp in between kisses. She ran her fingers lightly down his body as he groaned his own approval. But it wasn’t enough. She needed to feel his skin.

Reaching under the fabric of his t-shirt, she felt him twitch as she touched him, and he broke the kiss to let out a soft hiss of appreciation. She continued to rake her fingers down his body, using more force than she normally would, but suddenly feeling an almost visceral need to do so.

She had no idea why, but there was an almost panicked part of her that felt she needed to be as physically close as possible — forcefully and desperately. Whether that was a side effect of Lex’s attack, she had no idea, but he didn’t seem to mind the near-violent way she touched him. In fact, he appeared to crave it. Perhaps it was because he was invulnerable, but he groaned his appreciation of what she was doing loudly.

“God, Lois, you’re killing me,” he whispered, his voice husky between kisses. “I can’t think straight when you touch me…when you…”

He trailed off as she kissed him again, whimpering into the kiss as she gripped his shoulders and urged him backwards towards the sofa. As their bodies touched again, she remembered once again she wasn’t wearing a bra. It was an odd thing — to come to that realisation two times in one night in very different situations. She didn’t feel vulnerable or frightened the way she had before. She felt strong and powerful. She felt in control and sure of herself in a way she had never felt before.

They reached the sofa and she pushed gently against his chest, urging him to sit. She pulled away from him once more and her eyes met his lust-filled gaze. His chest heaved as he panted for air, and she knew she was doing the same. Her skin seemed to buzz and she felt anxious when she wasn’t touching him or feeling him. Was this a side effect of the attack? This raw, unfiltered and urgent feeling that seemed to consume her? Or was it just the way he made her feel?

She climbed into his lap, not wanting to answer any questions that might take her away from this moment, this feeling. She kissed his lips and then, shoving her hands under his shirt and gripping him tightly as she gently and then not so gently kissed and grazed his neck with her teeth.

“Oh…oh God, Lois…” Clark panted, “do you think we should…I mean, should we….st…stop?”

There was an incredible heat in his eyes, but there was also a hint of worry. They hadn’t talked about this, hadn’t discussed it, and if there was a top ten for ‘worst times to make love for the first time’, doing so after a man has tried to kill you and then plunged to his death had to be top of the list.

“Do you want to stop?” she asked him, wishing his hands were on her, touching her, feeling her skin…oh God, she couldn’t think of anything right now except how much she wanted him.

“No,” he said, doing the very thing she wanted as his hands reached out to roam up and down her arms as if they had a life of their own. She wasn’t even sure he was aware he was touching her. It was as if their mouths and their bodies were having two entirely separate conversations. “Stopping is the last thing I want, but you’ve been through something really traumatic and —”

“I love that you’re checking on me,” Lois said, biting back a moan of pleasure at the way his fingers grazed her skin so slightly. Harder. She wanted it harder. “Tonight was…awful. But this…this is…oh, Clark, the way you’re making me feel right now…the way you’re touching me…I just want more. I want you.”

“Are you sure?” he breathed, his eyes darkening as his strokes along her arm became more confident. “I don’t want you to regret this…our first time, that is, if you’re saying you want me —”

“Yes,” Lois panted, “I want you to make love to me. I’ve never wanted anything more. You make me feel so alive, so needed, so safe. I don’t want to think, or worry that this is wrong, because it feels so good. You feel so good. So right. I know this isn’t the way you pictured our first time, so if you don’t want to, I understand —”

“I want to,” he growled, gripping her hips and causing her to gasp.

“Then don’t stop,” she pleaded. “Please, don’t stop.”

He made a low, almost guttural sound and he reached for her shirt, pulling it swiftly over her head.

She kissed him again — hard. He made a deep noise of encouragement as she reached for his shirt and attempted to lift it off him. It wasn’t enough that he was touching her bare skin. She needed to feel his as well. He took pity on her, and yanked the shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. She felt her breath leave her as she always did whenever she saw him shirtless .

“Kiss me, Clark,” she whispered, her voice low and sensual. “Please…”

He obeyed instantly, kissing her with an intensity that surprised her. She cried out at the incredible feelings he evoked and returned the kiss with equal fervour.

She reached down and gently touched his jaw. Summoning all the willpower she possessed, she kissed his lips softly before standing up and taking a step back.

A rush of love and desire flooded through her. He was so beautiful and so very sexy. She still couldn’t believe he was hers — that this life was hers. Attacks from deranged psychopaths aside, they had built something incredible, something she never thought she would have and he helped her to believe that she could have it. And for some reason her body stilled. She wanted nothing more than to go to bed with him, but couldn’t seem to want to leave this moment — this perfect moment in time.

Clark must have sensed a shift in her emotions. He stood up, but didn’t move to progress things further. She wasn’t sure why until she felt a tear roll down her cheek. It landed on her hand and she brushed it away as quickly as possible, worried that Clark would want to put the brakes on things if he saw her cry.

“Lois?” he said her name softly, and she could hear the concern in his voice. It only made her want to cry even more, something that puzzled her, as her body simultaneously wanted his touch so badly it almost made her tremble.

“I love you,” she whispered as another tear fell. She didn’t know why, but she needed him to know. Really know. She needed him to see what was in her heart — wished he could crawl inside of it so he would know just how much better he’d made her world. But all she had were words — three words that felt so inadequate compared to the emotions she was feeling. And a moment — this perfect moment that would never come again.

Something in her eyes must have convinced him she was okay — that she wasn’t having a breakdown or re-living any of the trauma of Lex’s attack. Her mind couldn’t be further from those events. All she could think of was how much she wanted to be in his arms, feeling him touching her, getting lost in his eyes.

“I love you too,” he murmured finally after a moment of silence. “And every time I tell you that it feels like the first time. I get…nervous, but in a good way. I feel my heart pound and my stomach flip over, and when you say it back I feel —”

“I know,” Lois breathed. “I know. I feel the same. And I try to put it into words…how I feel…how you make me feel, and there just aren’t any…at least, none that we can speak.”

“I guess that’s why they call this…what we’re doing…or about to do or…” he broke off, slightly flustered and Lois felt her heart skip a beat. He still wanted her and she still wanted him — something her body was reminding her of. He took a deep breath. “I guess that’s why they call it making love. I don’t have to tell you…I can show you. With my lips…my hands…my body.”

His voice deepened and Lois felt her heart begin to race. Before she could say anything, he reached out and pulled her close. She pressed her body against his, and he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply and awakening every nerve ending in her body.

“Talk to me with your body, Clark,” she whispered, taking his hands and placing them on her hips. Heat surged through her. “Show me how you feel.”

“C’mere,” he growled, as he lifted her into his arms and captured her lips in his. He carried her into the bedroom and the kiss deepened. Lois could feel every ounce of his love in the way he looked at her, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her. She knew that no matter what happened, that love would only grow. And somehow that was all she needed to know it would be okay.

****

Lois eventually collapsed on top of Clark, feeling every single ounce of energy drain from her body. He gathered her into his arms and placed soft, almost reverential kisses atop her head.

“My God, Lois, that was —”

“I know,” she said, feeling awed and deeply humbled at what had just transpired between them.

She’d been so frightened of becoming intimate with him, afraid of disappointing him the way she’d thought she had disappointed Claude and every other man she’d been with but it was only now in this moment she truly understood. She hadn’t disappointed them — they had profoundly disappointed her. The way it was between her and Clark was how it should be.

“Thanks for, uh…talking me through it,” Clark said, and though she couldn’t see his face, something told her that if he could blush, he would be. “I’m not sure I would have lasted without your help.”

“I think you managed just fine without my running commentary,” she said with a small smile. Still holding her, he rolled onto his side, allowing for them to look at one another. “What exactly was it you were thinking of to get yourself back…under control?”

He looked away and ran a hand through his hair. This time it was very clear he was embarrassed, which only made her want to know even more.

“Come on, farmboy, spill,” she teased. “There are no secrets between us now.”

“I, uh, was trying to remember the lyrics to the song ‘Whoomp! There It Is’,” he admitted, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Don’t you hate that song?” she asked with a small chuckle. He nodded, still unable to look at her, which she found even more adorable.

“Yeah, that’s why it helped,” he said with a wry smile. “You were driving me crazy, Lois. Every single moment of it was…I can’t even put it into words.”

She reached out and caressed his cheek, and his eyes met hers. He was smiling at her in a way that made her heart race.

“You drive me crazy all the time,” Lois replied. “Granted, I have never resorted to reciting ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred in my head, but I might have to start if you keep looking at me the way you are now outside of this room.”

He laughed and leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss.

“We should get cleaned up,” Lois said reluctantly when they parted. She was grateful that they had discussed birth control when they had first gotten engaged so that they hadn’t had to worry about fumbling for a condom during their first time.

Clark nodded and Lois did her best to extricate herself from him, making a quick run to the bathroom and tossing a roll of toilet paper in his direction. Once clean, they didn’t bother to put their pyjamas on. Instead, Clark pulled down the bed covers and climbed into the bed.

Lois made her way back to him and he enveloped her in his arms almost immediately, kissing her and murmuring words of love over and over until she drifted off to sleep.