Hi Mary!
*Lois gets a flat tire *Lois yells at Superman
LOIS: Wonderful, Superman. Next time you try and stop the crooks, try shooting out *their* tire with your heat vision.
Lois turned on the hazard lights and managed to pull off to the shoulder. Great, just great. She climbed out of the jeep and, sure enough, her already-fantastic day was continuing its streak of magical wonderfulness: the tire was flat.
Wow, you manage such wonderfully biting sarcasm and vitriol
This is truly great. I especially love it juxtaposed with “Merry Christmas”. Made me grin like a doofus. (And I’m dead serious here. Angry Lois is such fun!)
letting loose every curse word she knew and inventing a few on the fly as she searched for a jack.
Like “chumpy”?
A new hybridization of swears mashed together in her mouth as she banged her head on the lid of the trunk.
That flying, clown suit wearing monkey butt…
"Sorry," the familiar voice apologized. "Are you…okay?"
Now, Superman, I know you’re new to earthbound women, but even you must realize that retreat can be an option.
SUPERMAN: I scanned first. No lead containers. No green gemstones. I should be safe.
Lois took a deep breath and forced herself to turn and look the superhero in the eyes, as though this wasn't their first conversation since…that night. "I'm fine," she lied.
/Does math/ Huh, square root of minus one to the power of e? Okay. So… huh? After TOGoM?
He looked as awkward as she felt. His gaze shifted to the car. "Flat tire?"
LOIS: No, out of gas.
Lois nodded. The traffic beside her magically slowed down, all previous urgency disappearing as drivers noted the caped hero assisting her and sought to get a good look. "Yeah," she managed to say.
Triple-A loyalty program. Get twenty roadside assists, get one superhero appearance.
"I'm fine," she bit out. "I can perfectly handle changing a tire, thank you very much! All I need is the jack…"
Ooo-kay…
Superman had the gall to look confused. "Um, helping?" "Why?!" she demanded.
Super-man-handling the problem? Yeah, gonna go over real well.
. "So you don't feel that way about me. Fine! I'm Lois Lane: I don't need you, or Clark, or Claude, or *anyone* to love me back!
I’m really looking forward to finding out when this is happening. With the prompt, I have her in the deepest of winter, snow coming down all around her. Though I’m starting to suspect that might not actually be true.
She may have muttered something about nosey Kryptonians and her own big mouth, but if she did, he gave no indication of having heard it. Instead, he just…watched her. Waiting.
He’s so cute!
She sighed. "He lied about it," Lois grumbled. "Clark just sees me as a friend; he doesn't really want me either. He just wanted to keep me away from Luthor." Superman's expression was one of pure shock.
Yes, Clark really was this stupid. Couldn’t believe it myself either.
"What, you're surprised that I keep batting zeroes?" Lois gave a mirthless laugh. "Please. It's not like I have a line of admirers waiting outside my door."
CAT: Ahhhmmm
"The only man who ever wanted a relationship with me turned out to be the worst criminal since Al Capone. What's that say about me?"
That he just wanted a trophy?
"You know, it's a shame things couldn't work out," Lois noted as the lugnut landed in the hubcap with a clang. "You're pretty handy to have around."
she could always offer him a Greencard marriage.
"I would never do that to you. I'm sorry for implying I would."
And now he implied that he would do it to others.
Lois fought down the lump that appeared in her throat. "You really hate the idea of being with me *that much*?!"
Well, she is lowborn, and from a different species. His people frown upon such matings.
NOR: We do?
ZARA: Don’t listen to him. He*is* a known degenerate.
"It's nothing like that, Lois! It's…it's complicated."
Yes. He is married. Just had his twenty-fifth anniversary last year.
"So complicated that you couldn't just let me down gently? You had to rip my heart out of my chest and step on it?!"
SUPERMAN: I thought that’s how you humans do it?
"WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU DID TO—" He froze,
Oops?
For a while, Lois just stared at him. "Clark doesn't feel that way about me," she repeated.
Yes, he’s not attracted to her.
"We all make mistakes," he said, holding out his hand for one of the lugnuts.
Wonder if he’ll try to use that to explain his other lie.
and then get splattered on the front page."
Pavement, actually.
But can you honestly say that things wouldn't have gone differently if I hadn't had my head so far up my—oh!"
…Lugnut?
well, I guess I can slow down for a while."
The dummy tire wasn't a perfect fix. As things were, she couldn't go very far. But as long as she took her time, she could at least get to where she needed to be.
That’s a clever phrasing, there!
Loved this Christmas treat, Mary! I’m sure you could never tell from my own stories or some of my more…creative FDK remarks, but I am a sucker for such banter.
Michael
I love conversations beyween Superman and Lois before she knows.... It gives such interesting perspective.
