Chapter Thirteen
To Wake From Dreams
While her son was in China dealing with the landslide, life for Lois had to continue as if it were just another normal day. She hadn't the luxury to worry in public about his welfare. Other than assign the story of the rescue mission to one of her best reporters and profess a genuine concern for anyone caught up in the horror, Lois could show no particular interest.
At first, she'd found it difficult to hide her agitation, but Bernie had kept her up-to-date with Matt's progress, as he'd promised, plus MNN soon began broadcasting footage from the scene and reporting on Jor-El's rescue efforts. Judging from both these sources, it seemed her anxieties for Matt's safety had been unfounded and she'd been able to direct her attention to work related matters, at least, for most of the time.
However, as her day at the Planet ended and she returned home, family matters rose up to trouble her. Lois could no longer ignore the fact that her son was far from home, handling life and death situations which were too intense for a boy of his age. Her concerns shifted from Matt's physical wellbeing to that of his state of mind.
The latest film-shots from the disaster zone had zoomed in on Jor-El while he dealt with the devastation, and Lois almost wept at the distressed droop of his shoulders... the bleak set of his mouth as he searched again and again for living survivors, but brought out only the dead.
There was a fleeting moment when a figure just beyond Matt's shoulder caught Lois' attention. The tall man was turned from the camera, and like all the others was coated in dirt, but something about him drew Lois' gaze. A strange presentiment scuttled along her nerves, yet within seconds the camera returned to the superhero and the feeling was lost.
As she stood bereft in her living room, staring at the image of Matt on her TV screen, she was conscious of another person by her side. Sara's hand slipped through Lois' arm and the girl leaned closer.
“Poor, Matt,” Sara whispered. “Being a superhero isn't very exciting sometimes.”
“No, it's not. Sometimes it's heartbreaking work. Sara, I want you to think long and hard before you decide to follow in your brother's footsteps.” Lois took hold of her daughter's hand and squeezed, but her gaze remained riveted on the TV screen.
“Was it like that for Dad?”
“Oh, yes. Even for your dad.” Lois rested her head on her daughter's... her dark hair contrasting with Sara's fairer tresses in the glinting overhead light. “There were times he'd come home heartsick because he'd been too late, or someone had died no matter how hard he'd tried to save them... and once you kids came along, he had to hide his sorrow until we were alone. Mind you, that was a trade off he was very willing to make just to have you... and I think you helped him in a way.” A bitter-sweet smile touched Lois' face, and she slid an arm around Sara. “But his life as Superman wasn't always easy, though he believed with all his heart that the good times far outweighed the bad, and I guess Matt feels the same. Now Matt's going to need a lot of reassurance and kindness when he comes home.”
“And we'll see that he gets it. I even promise to divert Vicky....”
“Ah, Vicky. Do you think she bought our cover story?” Lois frowned, moving back a little to look into Sara's eyes, hating to be back in a situation where lies were part of her family's life.
“Why shouldn't she, Mom? People stay overnight at friend's houses all the time.”
“Matt doesn't,” Lois announced. “And what if she finds out that he wasn't in school today?”
“Mom, as far as Vicky's concerned Matt went off to school this morning, and she's not that interested in checking up on his movements every second of the day. As long as you don't blow it by acting suspiciously, she won't think anything is wrong.”
“Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to be a blasé, hard-bitten investigative reporter... you're a kid. When did you get to be so good at this game of misdirection?”
“What can I say. I have your genes!” Sara grinned. “But don't be so hard on yourself, Mom. You're upset about Matt.”
“And you aren't?” Lois returned Sara's grin. Since Matt's debut, Lois had learned just as much about Sara as she had about her son, and all of it good. Sara was inventive and resourceful... and one day she'd make an excellent hero. Lois didn't doubt that.
“Matt's going to be fine, Mom. Now come on, Grandma says dinner is ready.”
“OK, I'll be good. Let's go eat or else Vicky will be through here demanding that we hurry up, and we don't want her paying too much attention to Jor-El. Oy! I can't believe she's got a crush on him. She's far too young.”
“Mom, every young girl has a crush on him. He's so... heroic and you've got to admit Matt does look great in the suit. If I didn't know he was my brother, I might too... and didn't you have a crush on Superman when he first showed up?” Sara's eyes were twinkling as she continued to tease. Clearly, Sara's mission was to brighten Lois' spirits.
“Busted!” Lois admitted, though she did add in her defense. “But I admired his intrinsic compassion and his morals.”
“Come on, Mom. Be honest, you wanted to jump his bones!”
“Sara Kent, wash your mouth out with a bar of soap,” Lois said in mock disapproval, barely suppressing a laugh. “OK, I might have found him attractive, but I was a grown woman. Vicky is just a child... she shouldn't be fancying anyone.”
“Mom, you're living in the dark ages, but don't worry. Vicky has crushes on all the latest pop idols; she changes her mind every couple of weeks.”
Lois finally let her laughter out. “Oh, I know. But once she does find out Jor-El is Matt, she's going to be very disappointed.”
“Disappointed!” Sara snorted. “I'd say mad. Vicky has your temper, Mom.”
“You're not wrong, Sara. Vicky's going to blow a fuse about being kept in the dark. I know I did.”
“Come on, you two!” Martha's voice drifted from the kitchen, interrupting the mother and daughter chat. “Your dinner is on the table.”
“Just give us a moment, please, Martha,” Lois called back. She was very grateful Martha and Jonathan had invited themselves over for dinner. Her in-laws would help keep the conversation light, and distract energetic Vicky. “Sara, I just just hope it isn't too long before I can sit down and tell Vicky the truth about her amazing birthright.”
“Well, if Matt and I are anything to go by, she should start to get some of the powers in the next couple of years. But you know, Mom, I don't think you should wait so long to come clean. It's going to be hard keeping Matt's absences a secret if he's doing stuff like this all the time.”
“You, don't, huh?” Lois was tempted to smile a little at Sara's serious manner, wondering who was the adult here. “It looks like you've given this a lot of consideration. Actually, I was hoping that Matt wouldn't be doing so many huge rescues in the future, but I suppose there's no way of stopping him now. As for telling Vicky, why don't we just play that one by ear?”
“I think that's a good idea, Mom.”
The two linked arms and headed towards the kitchen.
*****
A little time after dinner, Martha and Jonathan said goodnight and headed home, taking Vicky along with them. Lois felt ambivalent about letting her go, feeling that she was already missing one of her children, yet she couldn't deny that Vicky's presence might make the situation a little awkward if Matt were to come home in deep despair. They certainly had to rethink their strategy on the aftermath of these longer absences; it just wasn't practical or fair to parcel Vicky off whenever Jor-El took it into his head to tackle a cataclysm of epic proportions.
Not that Vicky objected to spending a night with either set of her grandparents. She loved the chance to be spoiled, though admittedly in differing ways. Her Lane grandparents always showered her with special treats, but her Grandma Martha understood when she needed to talk about her problems -- like when she'd got 97 on her English test and she'd wanted so much to get 100 -- and her Grandpa Jon simply gave the best hugs. When she was around him, she felt closer to her daddy.
She might only have been little when Daddy had died, but she remembered things about him... how he would take her on his knee and read to her... how he would tease her and call her Princess Tory and make her feel the 'specialist' girl in the world. Being with Grandpa Jon was almost as good. Sometimes she would close her eyes and dream she was with Daddy, but it wasn't the same.
Yet, attuned as Lois was to her children, she was oblivious of how deeply Vicky had buried her longings for Clark. The child hid her feelings well behind a wall of bubbling vitality and an insatiable curiousity about the world she lived in. If any members of the family suspected her loneliness it was the elder Kents, and they chose to spend as much time as was possible with the baby of the family, hoping to fill the hole in her psyche.
Now the clock moved ever closer to midnight, and reluctantly Sara heeded her mother's words and headed for bed. She'd wanted to keep company with Mom, but she had gymnastic practice on Saturday mornings, though she doubted she would be able to concentrate on her training if Matt hadn't returned... but that wasn't going to happen. By the time her alarm clock went off, her brother would be fast asleep in bed, recovering from his heroic feats, and their world would return to normal, or as normal as life could ever be in this household.
Left alone in the dark of night, Lois' anxieties returned with a vengeance. Yet there was no actual grounds for her trepidation. Local news had relegated MNN's coverage of the disaster to the occasional, short report, which was a sure sign that nothing of further interest was taking place in China. Besides, as she drank yet another cup of coffee, Lois reflected that Bernard had assured her he'd received no emergency call for help from Jor-El.
She checked her watch... that information had been over an hour ago. It was now close to 1.30am. Could she phone Bernie again? Almost on cue, the phone started ringing, and Lois snatched it up.
“Hello!” she barked into the mouthpiece.
“Lois?” came the timid reply. “It's Bernard here....”
“What's wrong?” Lois jumped up. “Something has happened, hasn't it?” She began pacing. Oh, my god! She should never have let him go... she should have demanded he return immediately! “Give it to me straight, Bernie. Some thing's wrong with Matt!”
“No, Lois. Nothing is wrong with Matt. I was just finishing off here at Star Labs and I thought I'd give you a call... just in case you were still awake and worrying. I've spoken with Matt and he's fine... very busy, but... well, he's a little dejected, I think....”
“The rescue isn't going to his plans?” Lois asked more quietly.
“Not much.”
“I got that from the TV coverage. Bernard, most of these people died within minutes of the slide. Superheros aren't gods! They can't turn back time.”
“No, of course not, Lois. But Matt is young. He expects so much... and he has managed to save a number of people.” A yawn accompanied Bernard's words down the phone line. “I'm heading home to try to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same. Oh, and if there is one bright spot in all the horror in China, it's that Matt seems to have linked up with some very competent local rescue services. So I don't think you have anything to worry about on that score....”
"I'm sure you're right, Bernie. But it sounds like he'll come home feeling pretty low, fretting about all the people he couldn't save.”
Another stifled yawn assaulted Lois' ears.
“Yes, Lois. Like father, like son,” Bernie averred ruefully. “But you should go to bed. Matt is going to need your help when he returns. Try not to worry over much. Goodnight, Lois.”
“Night, Bernie, and thanks for the call. It's much appreciated. Sleep well.”
“Oh, I will. This old body of mine is crying out for its bed. But you know I'd do anything to help you and the kids.”
Tears filled Lois' eyes as she said goodnight to her old friend and ally. Together they had been through so much, but he was in his seventies. What would her unique family do when he was gone? Thankfully, that wasn't a current worry, so she took his advice and went to bed. But sleep evaded her.
As she tossed and turned, that fateful night from four years ago returned to torment her. Yet, conversely, on that occasion she hadn't worried. She'd grown accustomed to Clark's absences and hadn't suspected she had anything to worry about till later... when feelings of foreboding had seeped into her soul, when echoes of terror and pain had driven her crazy with anxiety until they too had ended abruptly....
No! She plumped her pillow vigourously and refused to let herself believe that this was a similar circumstance. She had no telepathic connection with Matthew as she had had with his father, but she also had no proof that he was in any danger. He would be coming home soon, and though he might be traumatized by the sights he'd seen, he would be safe, and she would be able to hug him.... In time, he'd come to accept that he'd done the best he could.
Lois had fallen into a restless sleep when the tempest flew into her room.
“Mom!” Matt said in something a little louder than a whisper. He'd been in such a hurry and hadn't thought to check the other rooms, but he didn't want to wake his sisters at this moment. He leaned over his mother's figure and spoke directly into her ear. “Mom, come on, wake up.”
Turning in her sleep, Lois pulled the covers over her head.
“Mom, I need you to get up,” Matt demanded, promptly pulling the covers back again. “It's me, Matt! Please, Mom.” He touched her shoulder.
The urgent voice penetrated the foggy pictures that flitted eerily through Lois' dreams, though for some moments she fought its request. She'd only just surrendered to sleep. “Matt?” she questioned, still partially unconscious. Then the fact that her son was shaking her registered in her brain and she bolted upright. “Matt, honey, you're home!” She flung her arms around his neck. “Oh, Matt, I've been so worried about you. Are you well?” Lois turned on her bedside light, the easier to check him over. “You look OK... but was it bad, honey? They said on the news that many of the residents had died instantly.”
“Yes, Mom, it was bad... but not all of it. Mom, you have to get up and get dressed.”
“If you want to talk about it, we can go downstairs and make some hot chocolate... you always like chocolate.” Matt had inherited his mother's sweet-tooth, though thankfully he would never have to worry about those extra inches. “But I don't have to get dressed for that. Just let me put on my robe.” Lois was sliding her legs out of bed, when her son interrupted.
“No, Mom, you don't understand. I don't want chocolate. I want you to come with me to China!”
Lois decided Matt didn't look too despondent, but perhaps he was putting on a brave front. She was his mother and it was her job to look beyond the exterior.
“Oh, Matt, there's no need for that. I'm sure you've done what you can for these poor people, even though it wasn't as much as you expected... and if you want us to cover the story for any particular reason, then maybe Uncle Jimmy would be a better person to take with you. You know I don't report the news anymore,” she added with a tiny hint of nostalgia for the young Lois whose life was dedicated to chasing down stories... but time had moved on. She'd moved on.
Clearly, Matt was getting very perturbed by Lois' lack of cooperation because he pulled his cowl from his head and his fingers started combing through his hair. It was a very Clark-like gesture. “Mom, please listen to me. I don't want anyone to cover any stories... this isn't for the Planet. It's for us. I've found him, Mom! I've found Dad!”
“Found who, Matt?” Through the rushing noise which suddenly assaulted her ears, Lois wasn't sure that she'd heard Matt correctly, but she felt her world tilt.
“Dad!” Matt repeated, wondering why his mother wasn't sharing his joy. “It's amazing! It's the best thing in the world. But maybe you should sit down again.” He took hold of his mother's hands, which were for some reason pushing against the air, as if an imaginary foe was threatening her. “Mom, you don't have to be scared.”
“Don't play games with me, Matt.” Lois' voice was low and thick with apprehension.
“I'm not, Mom. Dad is alive.” Matt had been rehearsing his speech as he flew home, but clearly he hadn't told it right because his mother looked frozen in shock. Her eyes glared at him and her hands tightened in his, her nails digging into his palms. If he wasn't invulnerable, she might have drawn blood.
“Matt, what are you saying?” At last, Lois took her son's advice and sank onto her bed, but mostly because her legs refused to hold her up any longer. “I don't think this is funny.”
“I'm not joking, Mom. I would never joke about finding Dad. You know that.” The note of indignant hurt in his voice convinced Lois that her son at least believed he had found his father... but how was that possible?
“OK, Matt. You found someone who looks like your father....”
“No, it is him, Mother. I know it is.” Matt's voice was certain. “He might not look quite the same, and he doesn't appear to know who he is, but he's in Jilin Province in China, and he helped me during the rescue.”
Lois searched her son's face as he stood resolute before her. There was absolute candour in his eyes. “He's doing super rescues in China?” Lois' brow drew down in a puzzled frown. “I know China is sometimes a no go area for the world press, but surely the media would have discovered that? And why hasn't he come home?”
Matt sat down on the bed by his mother's side, forcing himself to calm down. Speed was of the essence; he didn't want to lose his father again, but he knew how difficult it must be for his mom to make sense of what had happened.... He didn't understand what had happened.
“I didn't say super. Mom, he was part of the local rescue team. He's strong but he isn't super... I don't think.” Matt saw the tracks of tears glint on his mother's cheeks. She was crying silently and the sight brought tears to his own eyes. “He calls himself Letour and he didn't recognize me, Mom. In fact, when I tried to talk to him, showed him who I was, he got sick.” Matt finished on a sob.
“Sick?” Lois asked, managing to utter just that one broken word.
“He fainted. The people he lives with told me he gets that way quite a lot, but they said he'd recover.”
“Which people?” Lois felt like she was wading through deep water; at any moment she might lose her footing and be washed away in the maelstrom of her emotions. She desperately needed to keep control.
“The MacDonnells. They run a botanical test laboratory out there. I think Dad's been staying with them for a while. I guess they've been looking after him.”
There was a few moments of silence when the only sound in the room was that of Lois' tortured breathing, as she attempted to adjust her life to its new parameters.
Was she no longer a widow? But if that were true, why had Clark not found his way home? He'd always said he'd come back to her. As long as he had life left in his body, he'd promised to return. So why was he not here, and why had she lost her bond with him?
Something was very wrong with this scenario. Matthew had said Clark was ill... probably amnesia or more, by the sounds of it, but she wouldn't find out what the problem was sitting here wallowing in her home. Energy began to return to Lois' limbs and an ember of hope sparked within her heart.
“I believe you, Matt. I'm sorry if I seemed so obtuse, but it's a lot to take in.” Lois rose and headed for her closet. “I'll get dressed and we'll leave. Your dad is still at this botanical place?”
“Yes. He was sleeping when I left. According to Marje... that's Mrs MacDonnell, he gets these migraines. They knock him out for quite a long time.”
“Huh! You're father never had a headache in his life,” Lois snorted as she pulled a pair of warm sweats from a drawer. Flying with Matt got cold sometimes and they would be traveling fast. “Actually, that's not strictly true. If kryptonite was involved....” Lois' tone sharpened. “There wasn't any kryptonite around in that laboratory?”
“Not that I sensed. I didn't feel ill or anything.”
“Well, Bernie always assumed my genes would give you some immunity to that horrible rock. But your father is susceptible, believe me. They could be storing kryptonite in that laboratory.”
Matt shook his head adamantly. “It's not that kind of laboratory, Mom, and I'm sure they're good people. They seem really fond of Dad.” Matt gave the situation a few moments of thought, then decided to be better safe than sorry. “But I think we should hurry, just in case I'm wrong. We don't want to lose track of Dad again.”
“No, we definitely don't!” Lois' voice was muffled as she pulled her top over her head and slid her arms into the sleeves, but her growing enthusiasm was obvious. Then she craned round the closet door, realizing they had a problem. “But, Matt, I can't just leave like this. What about Sara?”
“And Vicky,” Matt added. In all the activity, he'd completely forgotten about his sisters.
“No, Vicky is already at your grandparents. We've got to take Sara there too. She's too young to be left home alone.”
“Fine. You finish dressing and I'll go wake her.” Matt strode towards the door, but was halted by his mother's cry.
“Matt, try to break the news a little more gently than you did to me....”
Lois' stricture was unnecessary, though, as a figure clad in blue pajamas appeared in the doorway, her hair sleep mussed, yet her eyes clear and alert....
“Mama?” Sara reverted to the childhood name for her mother, betraying her nervousness. “What's this about Daddy? Did I hear right?”
“Sara, sweetheart, you overheard what we were talking about?” Lois hurried across the room, enfolding Sara in her arms. She felt her daughter's head nod against the crook of her neck.
“Some. I couldn't sleep very well,” Sara spoke without leaving the shelter of her mother's embrace. It was as if she needed an anchor in a changing world... a better world... if she hadn't misheard... if Matt wasn't mistaken. “I heard a woosh and I knew Matt had come home... but I've never heard a woosh from Matt before. Normally, he can't fly so fast.”
Momentarily, Lois held tightly to Sara, then leaned back to look into her face. “Matt has some news for us. It's very scary news, but good news, really good... we think.”
“Then it's true, Matt? Daddy is alive?”
Matt moved closer to his mother and sister. “I'm sure, Sara. Only something is wrong with him. He's sick and he's forgotten who he his. I didn't know what to do, which is why Mom has to come back with me to China. She'll sort everything out.”
“Yes, of course. Mom, you've got to go, now, as quick as you can.” Sara was coming to terms with the fact that her father was still alive. Her love for her father and her need to have him back in her life cut through all the mystery of why he'd stayed away. There would be a reason and they would discover the cause when he was safe at home. “You can drop me off at Grandma's house on your way.” Sara grabbed her mother's robe from off the bed where Lois had discarded it and put it on, tying the belt firmly round her waist in preparation for leaving. “I'll explain what I know to Grandma Martha and Grandpa Jon, but, Mom, go already. Bring Dad home.”
Lois cringed a little inside, daunted somewhat by her children's belief in her ability to set matters right, and at their blind faith that their father would wish to return. What if Clark had stayed away because he didn't want to be with her anymore?
But that was a crazy thought. They might have had a few differences of opinion over their years together, but they'd loved each other deeply... completely. After four years without him, Lois still loved Clark with all her heart and Clark's love had been as strong as her own... perhaps stronger. So why was she acting so faint-hearted?
Because without him you've lost your belief in happy endings. But your children have faith. Grab hold of that faith and hang on with all you have. The ember in her heart flamed, melting the sliver of ice that had formed at its core four years ago.
Get used to fighting again, girl! You're going on an adventure; the most important trip of your life to bring Clark Kent or Letour, or whatever name he might be going by, back where he belongs.
Lois lifted her arms aloft and held them out towards her son. “Come on, Matt. Let's get going,” she demanded, impatience taking over. “We still have to take Sara to Grandma's before we head for China. So, why are we still standing here?”
*****
tbc
