A little humor for Ficlet Friday.
Inside A Newlywed's Mind
The ride in the elevator was the perfect opportunity for some last fervent kisses after a very intense, albeit much too short, honeymoon. Neither Lois nor Clark were yet ready to step out into the newsroom and spend a whole day as a professional reporting team when they'd rather continue where they'd left off this morning in their bedroom.
Clark was racking his mind how to draw out the experience just a little longer.
"Boys, we need to do something," Fear whispered. "The elevator doors are going to open in five…four…three…two…"
"Calm down, there's no one on that level and there are two more to come," Disgust grumbled. "Remember? We checked like five seconds ago!"
"It was more like twenty seconds," Fear reminded him. "I know, Lois kisses are distracting."
"Uh huh," Joy gushed. "Very. And now quiet guys. I want this to last a little longer."
"Well, I'm trying to push Clark's feet against the bottom of the elevator," Sadness grumbled. "But the flight mode is a bit sluggish when Lois is kissing Clark like that."
Anger crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Which is why I suggested hitting the emergency button. The car stops, problem solved."
"But the button is for emergencies," Fear squealed.
Disgust grinned. "This sort of counts as an emergency, don't you think?"
"Shush, guys," Joy fumed. "These are the last kisses we might get for the next few hours and you're talking about logistics?"
"Well someone has to, if another someone can't see that this is absolutely the wrong place and time." Anger grabbed Joy by his lapels and shook him until his glasses sat askew.
Disgust laid a calming hand on Anger's shoulder before he gave Joy a stern look. "Don't even think about getting Clark all worked up, because we really don't have time for this."
"Could you keep it quiet please?" Sadness said tersely. "We really don't want feet shaped imprints on the elevator floor."
Fear blanched and looked about ready to pass out. "Feet shaped imprints?"
"Oh, boy, can't we be a damn man about it and press that f***** button?" Anger's hand shot toward the controls, but four emotions held him back.
"Don't." They said in unison.
"We wouldn't want to be stuck in this elevator forever." Disgust pointed out.
"Okay, okay," Anger growled. "But it's either hitting the abort button or stopping this elevator for good because this is getting out of hand. And while we're at it, let's not forget to check the manual for the Kryptonian definition of a 'quickie.'"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Joy pouted. "There's nothing romantic about a 'quickie.'"
"Don't we know that?" Disgust rolled his eyes. "But we can't very well choose the 'Slow and Gentle' setting because that's the reason Lois and Clark never made it to Hawaii."
Fear shrunk a bit as four pairs of eyes suddenly fixed on him. "Hey, how was I to know that 'Slow' would mean-"
"No time to dwell on that now, guys. Time's running out," Disgust urged.
"But 'Slow and Gentle' was the only safe choice with the superpowers and all…" Fear muttered.
"Not if you take into account that a human girl needs to eat," Sadness chimed in.
"Okay, guys, we need a decision like now, before that darn elevator is going to-"
A ding resounded through the head quarters and immediately five hands shot toward the abort button, pressing it just in time.
"Okay, that was a close one." Disgust heaved a sigh. "I suggest we find out more about that 'quickie' setting before the two of them make it to the conference room."
"But this is a public place," Fear whispered.
"Yeah, sure." Sadness muttered. "But do we really want to start making up excuses why the two of them need to leave right after finally arriving at work? Clark is already fumbling for words when he needs to be Superman and this is waaaay more embarrassing."
Disgust buried his face in his hands. "Oh, do tell!"
Last edited by bakasi; 09/29/23 10:10 AM.
