Hi Kate!
*yay* that you took the plunge!
This is my first ever fic (was just going to try my hand at a ficlet... but it had its only plans when I got started!).
Oh yes, I know that problem! My first (well, second) fic spawned from a nice 4-5 parter to 25 or so.
They wanted *closure* if you can believe that.
I want to thank SuperBek for being brave enough to BR this story! She was instrumental in fixing readability by adding breaks, catching my outdated grammar formatting, and adding some really helpful sentence re-writes and additions! And the title!! I couldn’t have done it without her!
*Yay* for betas!
Thank you, also to QueenoftheCapes for the “Lois and Clark on a Game Show” plot bunny
Oooh, that’s what this is? Wheeeee!
bakasi and Demi for fleshing out The Dating Game setting!
Don’t know if bakasi will see this, but I’m flashing to “Herzblatt”, an 80/90s dating show in Germany/Austria. Clark, Dan, and who knows for Lois to choose from
Thank you, also, brave reader!! I hope you like it!!
It’s been fun so far
Superman has agreed to be a guest on the show The Dating Game and Lois has pulled some strings to make sure she’s a contestant.
Do the contestants know who is looking for a professional caregiver? (My phone actually suggested ‘caregiver’ after ‘professional’
guess there’s a pattern…) Anyway, will she be up against Mayson who does not know she’s in for dating a vigilante? And perhaps Penny Barnebedian?
. But she may not be as much of a shoe-in as she thinks when she sees who she’s competing with!
Blondes with prominent proportions? Or perhaps, yes, what about that stuffy brunette in the charchoal suit? She introduced herself as ‘Sarah, I’m looking for my husband’ like it’s one word.
Will they make it through the hour-long taping?!
Will there be an emergency?
“I am an alien from another planet.
“On our date, where would you take me to show me the true gems that this world has to offer? Bachelorette number 1?”
CAT: /raises hand/
Their voice, the distinct sounds they made as they shifted in their seat or tapped their foot absent-mindedly, their heart rate when asked certain questions or when speaking to certain people.
Yeah, he just needs to detect Lois. Then he can pick one of the other two to avoid any appearance of impropriety.
He really hoped all the prizes and proceeds generated from his appearance on the show were going to charity like they’d promised him.
BILL CHURCH: My new wife, Charity.
One day they’re baiting you with a great TV show that tells a unique story with an amazing cast, and the next day they’re cancelling it and ripping it all away without so much as a half-hearted apology…
They even had a “to be continued” tag in the episode. You did read the fifth and six season fanfic continuations?
Lois thought she could see the mocking amusement in Bachelorette #2’s expression, as though she was thinking, She’s going to take Superman to a museum on their date?! How perfectly Lois.
Yeah, it did feel a tad nerdy /generic. She doesn’t even know him. Not really, does she?
I can show you way more gems than what you’ll find at any old jewelry store. Enormous ones too, by the looks of it…”
Ooooh a Cat in heat!
If they had, they would have known better. But as it was, they would be bent and bloody once she was through with them.
CAT: Claw manicure at seat one please! Can I get a claw manicure over here? Thank you.
He cleared his throat, as if the sound could dispel that last remark from who he knew could only be the former gossip columnist for the Daily Planet.
Season two. So number three could be Mayson, only why would she?
Bachelorette #3’s answer came in a sardonic tone. “I can think of a few gems at the Metropolis Hall of Justice I’d like to refer you to.”
Did DA Clemons pimp Mayson out to raise his approval ratings?
DA CLEMONS: I would never solicit my female employees. You can get arrested for this sort of thing if there’s a paper trail.
“Never mind. Ca-can we just move on?” Bachelorette #3 scoffed.
So far, she had been the only one to offer real, and if she did say so herself, enticing answers,
Jason Trask did stipulate Superman’s here to procreate his species with halfbreeds. This would make Cat’s offer very competitive.
Regardless, she didn’t feel the slightest bit threatened by her competition in this race.
Yes, competition that’s playing a different sport is no competition at all.
There was the article she had promised to write about the completely fabricated “good deeds” this TV station was doing for charity;
The good deeds Superman was referring to earlier?
she would find a way to weasel out of that one, or better yet expose the whole station for fraudulent activities if she could!
Bought guests, bought contestants, contestants that take credit cards…
She hadn’t even bothered saying goodbye, and everything that had happened after that was a bit of a blur
Maybe then she could get him to explain just what he’d meant that night after he’d stopped Metallo. That was all still a confusing jumble in her head, and she was going to get answers.
Perfect timing with the other Metallo ficlet just out on the boards.
“I see so much of the violence and evil in the world. What’s one thing you could describe to me that would recharge my spirit and my faith in the good people of Earth? Bachelorette number 2?”
Clark. Lois should describe Clark.
“Hey, quiet from the peanut gallery, grown-ups are talking,” Cat taunted.
Meow!
And you give so much hope to me. I’d be lost without you.”
Literally.
“Can I pass? Yeah? Pass.”
Mayson does not seem happy at all.
She thought there should be rules and that those rules should work in her favor. She was first, after all, so it was only fair.
Sounds reasonable?
Hmm, there were maybe…a few illicit tactics Cat might have used to get her way.
CAT: I would never. I… to even suggest that I would write a favorable article. I’m not for sale!
She may have mentioned it smugly to her fish.
No more watching out for Cat’s paws.
Clark were getting closer…or working more closely,
“First Bachelorette?”
Yes!
Smallville. Martha makes great desserts.
Paris? Hawaii? Fiji? Some remote island that no one’s ever been to but us…” That was enough flirt, right?
Clothing optional apparently an option.
Superman’s response was a dallying “Uh, yes, that sounds nice. It would be a busy night, for sure.”
SUPERMAN: The reader did suggest licking chocolate sauce off of Lois. It’s not my fault I got distracted.
READER: I did no such thing.
Lois’s toes curled as the audience cheered and wooed at Cat publicly soliciting Superman. Audiences were vacuous!
There *is* a theme.
Don’t want to go looking like a raving lunatic in front of millions of people on national television.
Yes, Lois screaming those thoughts publicly at Cat would not be very dignified.
“Watch out, Superman, you might be what’s for dinner with this one!”
Indeed!
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere I couldn’t get to under my own steam.
Bread and water for the guest while Mayson sits opposite and asks some questions.
I don’t need some over-pigmented aerial taxi service to deliver me to some remote, albeit beautiful, dream-land destination.”
what about Disneyland?
“…this… game show and this blatant display of arrogance and self-importance part of your do-good campaign?
No, that’s just because he’s lonely and they told him this is how Earth men find their women.
but notice the small reflection of the camera monitor in an audience member’s glasses, revealing that Mayson was gesturing with her arms to indicate the set.
“Oh, yeah, it’s real charitable to sit there all smug and self-righteous, letting senseless women fawn all over you.
CAT: Hey!
This one’s practically throwing her garter belt over the wall at your head!”
“Hey! Watch it blondie!” Cat hissed, her voice barely audible over Mayson’s continued tirade.
Lois could by explaining that Cat’s always this way.
I don’t care if the president of the United States asked me to do this as a favor. I’m outta here.”
The host called out to her in an uncharacteristic, un-boomy voice, “Wait! Wait Miss...you...you can’t go before...”
Oops.
she would be right there, looking at him with those luminous brown eyes, smiling at him with impossibly velvety soft lips…
He should be careful with his thoughts. He’s sitting front and center from a camera that takes in his entire posture.
Alright, Bachelorette number 1. If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?”
Ultra Woman.
?” He began picturing Lois in a spandex suit like his. Pink, maybe?
He knew Cat’s answer would be nothing more than tawdry tripe, nothing that he had the slightest interest in
CAT: Catwoman.
SUPERMAN: Sorry. It’s strictly bros before cats with me.
Lois always did do her best work under pressure, he thought admiringly. So really, she ought to be fine with the pressure on now.
Very cute!
I’d want someone who held me in the highest regard to decide what name should define me, because they’d have the best perspective of my abilities and what name would comfort them most in their sincerest hour of need. Or would ring true as a bastion of hope.”
And yet he got ‘Superman’ after a burp and a two minute flight.
“I have to agree with you there, Lo—uh, sweetie. I am a superhero; my powers only activate in the bedroom though, and, uh, I have been called many, many names.”
“Yeah, Super Strumpet for one!” he heard Lois chide viciously. He groaned inwardly.
This is The Dating Show, not some salacious mudslinging talk show!
Yes totally dignified affair, this one.
you’ll both be disqualified!”
Would the date then go to Mayson? Or the host?
, “your final question for these two, uh, lovely... ladies.”
Pair of cat and dog?
Uh, okay. Final question. If I were an ordinary man with no superpowers, would you still be sitting here trying to win a date with me?”
LOIS: no!
CAT: same build? Not a sleazy criminal? Clean? Pulse? Sure.
“Would you still have those buns of steel?”
Of course it was Cat who chimed in first
See?
Could she hear how he’d tried ever so subtly to wrap the “one” with warmth, to hold it so delicately, without giving too much of himself away?
He knew it was her, right? How could he not? He knew her voice. He probably knew the sound of her heartbeat so well by now… Was it discernible from Cat’s? From the people in the audience? God, she nearly forgot there was an audience. And cameras. What was the question? Her thoughts were all jumbled now.
Poor dear got overexcited there.
Uh, would I want to date him even if he was an ordinary man? Right? Well, duh, of course! Without question. I would just know it was him, she thought.
Uh-huh?
like no mortal man could smell.
Uh-huh…
Though I do wonder if she will accidentally say ‘Clark’ on live tv.
“Unequivocally,” she managed to choke out after what seemed like a miles-long pause. “I would know it was you; there’s no doubt in my mind that I would. I’d be here, holding my breath and hoping against hope that you’d pick me.”
Uh-huh.
and no doubt created fully detailed character profiles on them.
Yes. Right.
Which woman should the Man of Steel choose?”
They probably will go with the one whose couple name is ‘Super Strumpet’.
Maybe she could still be an award-winning journalist for the Borneo Gazette
Mating season! Three knobtailed geckos have been discovered on the same branch! Read the whole story about their illicit affair on page two.
“Well,” he started. “Being me, you understand, there are no guarantees that I will be available the day this date is meant to occur.” This is not where Lois saw this answer going. “And, I understand that, as a celebrity on this show, I can choose someone to go on this date in my absence.”
Bait and switch? Really? They do that?
“Great,” Superman continued, “then I would like for Clark Kent to take my place. So, I’ll be picking this date based on who I think he might match best with.”
He sure wiggled out of making a public declaration.
MAYSON: Hey! Unfair.
She didn’t want Cat back in their lives to start fouling things up all over again. Lois needed Superman to pick her. She needed this date to be her and Clark!
What if his perfection was all in her head, wrapped up around a symbol and an idea and a costume?
Heresy!
, “It’s my business to look beyond the external.”
CAT:
“Bachelorette number 2, if you could come out here and say hello to Superman? Show him what he’ll be missing on his date.”
Cat handing Superman a portfolio of her artistic nudes, isn’t that a bit tacky?
No matter how many times they had been this close, he could still take her breath away.
He needs to learn to not suck in all the air when she’s close to him or touching him.
She had work to do, and she did her best thinking there in her trusty old desk chair with a cup of hot coffee and a view of her partner.
Does sound perfect for her to contemplate said partner.
And with a flash of his cape, the Man of Steel was gone. He had to go find Lois and figure out the particulars of their date. She would have a lot of questions, and, though he knew in the end how little good it might do him, he wanted to give himself ample time to prepare his answers.
I like this episode closing with Superman getting ready for his own being a contestant in The Super Dating Game.
Wonderful debut, Kate!
Michael
And I'm immensely grateful to you for having read it and finding yourself on the feedback thread! I hope you got a few chuckles out of it! 
