Don’t Let Me See You Hurtby bakasi
The rain was so dense that the windshield wipers had trouble keeping up. With the poor visibility, Lois almost missed the sign announcing that they’d nearly reached the Appalachian View Lodge. She heaved a sigh of relief and gripped the steering wheel tighter.
Clark was sound asleep in the passenger seat. A smile played around his lips as she glanced at him. Perhaps he was having a pleasant dream. He murmured her name with a tenderness in his voice that made Lois' heart beat faster. His lips drew her gaze, silky and incredibly kissable.
She forced herself to look back on the street though she was dying to reach out and touch him.
Taking a shaky breath, Lois uncurled her fingers only to tighten them once again. An entire weekend lay ahead of them, more than enough time to reconnect and explore his lips.
She couldn't help but steal another glance at them, taking in their creamy softness. The memory of his sweet kisses was enough to make her own lips tingle with longing; her fingers ached for Clark's gentle warmth.
He was just within her reach, only a few inches…
She missed him.
Lois dragged her eyes away from Clark, back to the monotonous gray before her, lined with two sheer endless rows of conifers, back to the hectic motions of the windshield wipers trying to clear the view.
She didn't want to wake the sleeping man.
He was still a bit pale, even though he would insist on almost being back to normal. She knew he could use the rest, yet she wished Clark would talk to her, smile that dazzling smile of his and maybe give her knee a gentle squeeze. He could convey so much with just a gaze.
Again, she fought the urge to link hands with him. What she wouldn't give to feel the caress of his thumb, to get one smoldering glance or one playful smile that would steal her breath and make her heart race with anticipation.
She was starved for his touch. And the gray sky and pouring rain just increased her need for comfort.
The past few weeks had been tough on both of them. She
needed Clark to keep her mind off the reason they were heading out for a romantic getaway right in the middle of nowhere.
But it was a miracle he was even still alive, so she gladly took his soft snoring over the alternative.
Memories of the fire in the South Side a few days ago resurfaced unbidden. Superman had rescued people from a burning building and had helped put out the flames while Lois had gotten quotes for their story.
What should have been just another day in the lives of the Daily Planet’s best reporting team had turned into a nightmare when one of the spectators had suddenly held a strange gun-like weapon trained on her. Before she’d really understood what was happening, Superman had pushed her to the ground as he’d intercepted the blast. The moment he’d gone limp in her arms still haunted her. His dead weight had knocked the wind out of her as they’d crashed to the ground.
Lois tried not to squeeze her eyes shut as she remembered waiting for him to move, to suck in a breath, to do anything at all that would confirm he wasn’t dead.
The mad guy who’d attacked them was someone she’d exposed years ago, before Clark was her partner, before he was even at the Planet. Yet, Clark had paid the price. He’d almost been killed because of her, because someone had planned Superman’s death to take revenge on
her.
Henderson had shown her a letter he'd found in her mail after Clark had insisted on having the police search her apartment in case there was another attempt on her life.
Lois swallowed against a huge lump in her throat and blinked to keep the tears at bay. Her breathing turned shallow and she gripped the steering wheel tighter, intent on keeping her attention on the street.
But her heart thumped heavily in her chest and her throat tightened to the point where she thought she couldn’t breathe.
Consciously, she knew Clark was all right. But with the unbidden memories came that twisting in her gut telling her otherwise. The terror of having him almost die on her was still so fresh in her mind, just as painful as watching him collapse from Dillinger's bullet had been.
The voice of doubt kept whispering words of discouragement.
She told herself she was crazy. He was snoring right next to her. Yet, the need to check on her companion turned overwhelming.
Again her gaze darted toward him. Lois only dared to breathe as she saw his chest rise and fall.
He was still there, not just a figment of her imagination.
Lois swallowed, the lump in her throat a little less suffocating, but still noticeable.
Her heart kept racing. No matter how many steadying breaths she took it refused to calm until, finally, she reached out with a trembling hand. His fingers uncurled at her touch, allowing her to slip her hand into his.
Clark gave her hand a gentle squeeze, sending a rush of warmth through her. It settled her frayed nerves. The tension bled away, leaving a sense of comfort she'd only ever felt with him.
She threw another quick glance at the man next to her. His eyes were still closed and his breathing was even. Lois wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved that he hadn't stirred. But even asleep, his touch helped her keep the bad memories at bay.
She didn't want to let go of him.
Ever again.
After the attack Superman had been unconscious for hours. A Dr. Klein at Star Labs had taken care of him. Once he'd woken up and had been strong enough to leave under his own steam, Clark had returned to the Planet to go after the mysterious shooter.
She'd never seen him like this, so unrelenting and distant. He'd pursued every tiny hint with a single-mindedness that had rivaled Mad Dog Lane during her worst days. She'd hardly managed to talk to him about anything other than work, and when he did take a break, it had been because he'd passed out on his couch or at his desk. It had paid off in the end, resulting in their attacker behind bars, at least until recently.
Clark's powers had returned, eventually, which had calmed him a bit. But they'd not quite settled back into their relationship, yet. He was still not completely back to his usual self and far more tired than she'd ever seen him. Worry crept back up on her as her gaze once more drifted to the sleeping man.
They would have needed this vacation even if it weren't for the looming threat. If only it were just a romantic weekend out to explore life as a couple, if only she could forget…
With a wistful sigh Lois let go of Clark's hand and pulled the car into the small gravel way that led to the parking lot. As the ride turned more bumpy, Clark began to stir.
He blinked, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Are we there?”
"Yeah." She didn’t dare to say more, lest he pick up on how much her voice was quivering and just how close she was to crying.
Clutching at the steering wheel for dear life to keep a tight rein on her emotions, Lois parked next to the only other car in the lot.
As she went through the motions of setting the gear to park, pulling the handbrake and turning off the engine, Lois took another few steadying breaths to calm herself.
When she'd regained her composure, she looked over at Clark who still held the frames in his hands, his smile shy rather than dazzling. But the old intensity had returned to his gaze, the slight gleam that had always made her feel special, like she was everything to him.
It had confused her to no end before she'd known why he would sometimes get that distant look and take off with a flimsy excuse.
But now, the simmering love in his eyes just made her breath catch in her throat. She smiled back, her heart racing at the sight of his pink lips.
Too much time had passed since she'd last kissed him. Lois felt the strong urge to lean in.
There was something incredibly intimate about seeing Clark without his glasses. Only three people in the whole wide world knew the man underneath the Superman suit.
She was grateful to be one of them, no matter how angry she’d been with him at first for keeping his secret so long.
Even now that she knew, seeing him like this, so open and vulnerable, was a rare gift. The dark pools of his eyes were no longer hidden by his large frames. While the glasses could never quite hide the love he felt for her, right in this moment what she saw in his eyes felt like a million times more intense.
Clark reached out and cupped her cheek, sending a spark of excitement through her. Her skin tingled where he touched her and Lois felt some of the pent-up tension dissipate. She covered his hand with hers and placed a kiss into his palm, inhaled the soft scent of soap and let his warmth spread through her.
He was here with her, he was alive and he was safe.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you,” Clark murmured. “I guess helping with that collapsed bridge was more exhausting than I thought it would be.”
The nagging worry crept back up on her. Once his powers had returned, he'd buried himself in his Superman duties as if he was trying to make up for something. He’d worn himself ragged and it was still showing.
She searched his face for any residual signs of discomfort. “Are you okay?”
He smiled for her. “I’m fine.”
It should have been reassuring, but the creeping doubts wouldn’t let go. He looked healthy enough. Still, everything felt so very fragile: her composure, their relationship, everything that had taken this huge leap of faith to even begin.
Clark gave her hand a gentle squeeze, once more grounding her. Hadn’t she planned on being his anchor in the midst of a stormy sea, just this once? But somehow he was always the one who gave her pause, who made her feel safe and helped settle her racing heart with just a small gesture.
Clark offered her all the thousand watts he was capable of before he looked around for a moment and took in the rain-veiled view. Thick clouds covered the mountains, leaving no more than a hint of the spectacular panorama that would await them once the sky cleared.
Clark beamed. “This is really a nice place. You sure didn’t promise too much. It’s great that your mom’s friend invited us over. I’ll gladly help with all the repairs that need doing.”
He winked at her, the gleam in his eyes indicating that he did indeed look forward to these mundane tasks. That was one of the things that she loved about him most. Any other guy she'd gone out with would only have considered such an outing worth his time if it involved crossing the intimacy threshold. Clark, on the other hand, seemed completely content to spend time with her, even at the prospect of having to do a few chores.
Her heart fluttered, both at the idea of watching him fix some plumbing problems and the possibility of their relationship moving forward. Involuntarily, her gaze drifted toward his muscular forearms that were exposed under his rolled-up sleeves. Her throat ran dry as she imagined the play of those muscles while he worked. She wondered what his hands would feel like on her body. Clark had wonderful soft hands, capable of bending steel, yet gentle and free of calluses or rough spots.
Admittedly, she wasn't quite sure what he would expect of this weekend or what she was ready to give.
Before Clark, she’d never found a vacation particularly enticing. Usually, it involved her parents in an endless argument. Given their streak of bad luck, Lois hoped their impromptu stay at this remote hotel would turn out better than their trip to Spencer’s island had.
A shiver ran through her as she remembered how Clark had collapsed, writhing in pain from yet another kryptonite exposure. She’d managed to rescue him just in time, before-
She forced the dark thoughts aside, hoping that Clark wouldn't call her out on the lengthy silence.
Lois fought to put on a lighthearted tone. “Yeah, it’s really a strange coincidence that she called right when the two of us could really use a little rest. Not to mention some time alone.”
He grinned at her, his eyes darkening with a hint of desire. His Adam's apple bobbed, as if his mouth had suddenly run just as dry as hers. Part of her just wanted to kiss him and make the most of this unexpected development. But no matter how hard she tried, it was impossible to forget why they were really here.
And as she thought about the threat to their lives, it took all of Lois' willpower to keep smiling, lest he realize that she'd just fed him a tremendous lie. There was nothing coincidental about this invitation; but Clark didn’t need to know that. As far as Lois was concerned he didn't need to know anything about the things going on in Metropolis.
Her heart skipped a beat as it dawned on her how little it would take for Clark to see right through her deception. He always seemed to notice when something was bothering her.
“
You need a vacation?” His eyes twinkled playfully. “Who are you and what did you do to Lois Lane?”
“It has been a difficult few days.” She felt the blush on her cheeks.
“You can say that again!” He groaned. But when he looked at her, she saw him smile. His voice turned husky. “But it's over now. This weekend is only going to be you and me and…”
Clark’s dark brown eyes rested on her, a fire burning inside of them that made Lois suck in a breath. He cupped her cheek again, leaning in ever so slightly. Lois' heart fluttered in anticipation. Her lips yearned for his kiss. She wasn’t quite sure whether to close her eyes to feel the caress of his lips more acutely or whether she wanted to watch him until she drowned in his dark pools.
Then, in an instant, his gaze flitted to the band-aid above her right brow, an injury she’d all but forgotten about. Clark’s eyes clouded over and he pulled back. Guilt flashed across his features and he looked away, his jaw working. Before Lois could say anything, he opened the door in a sudden hurry to get out.
She stared after him, dazed. Her heart mourned the lost opportunity. She’d really thought he’d gotten over it by now. When he’d crashed into her, his chin had connected with her forehead, resulting in a cut. She’d tried to convince him that it wasn’t a big deal. Still, he’d fretted over it and apparently still wasn’t done.
Lois had hoped this vacation would take them away from it all, from the mad guy who’d attacked Superman with a kryptonite laser and who’d managed to escape prison, from the sense of guilt that racked both of them.
Henderson had promised Lois to take care of the bad guy while she intended to take care of Clark.
While she unbuckled the seatbelt, she spotted Clark in the rearview mirror as he woodenly pulled their suitcases from the trunk of the car. She hastened to follow him as he headed for the entrance.
The unrelenting rain soaked her to the skin within seconds. As Lois reached Clark, her clothes clung to her and rivulets of water streamed down her face, neck and upper body.
Clark was just as dripping wet. His glasses were peppered with droplets, his damp hair was matted to his head. Still, he managed to look breathtakingly handsome, like he had when he'd knelt before her, asking to marry her. Lois’ gaze involuntarily dropped to his shirt that revealed a perfect view of his firm pectorals and abs. It took her a moment to draw her eyes back to his face.
Clark’s cheeks had adopted an adorable shade of pink. He straightened his glasses, swallowed and kept his attention so firmly trained on her eyes that Lois couldn't help but think that he, too, had a hard time not being distracted by the sight of her in a wet shirt. A sheepish smile played around his lips, before he lowered his glasses.
“Do you want me to dry you?”
Lois’ heart skipped a beat as she remembered the first time he’d used his heat vision on her. The gentle beam enveloping her had felt so good. It had been another one of these small intimate moments that came with knowing his secret. But she hadn’t truly been able to appreciate it then, too mad at him for lying to her for so long.
Now she was craving every small bit of normalcy between them, so much that she felt tempted to say yes. She knew he was trying to make up for his knee-jerk reaction in the car. Though none of this was his fault, he was beating himself up for hurting her. Using his powers on her was a step in the right direction.
But her mother’s friend had no idea whom she had invited into her home. Showing up dry after such a downpour might look suspicious. The last thing Clark needed were more worries.
Stifling a sigh, Lois shook her head no.
Clark gave a brief nod and his lips twitched awkwardly as he held the door for her. Lois stepped through, taking a bit longer than necessary. Her back ached to feel the comfort of his hand, but it never came. Lois closed her eyes, once more blinking back tears that she had no intention of shedding. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly that had taken the ease out of their relationship: the events of the past few days or that she was in on his secret now but hadn’t completely come to terms with it yet.
As she looked at Clark, the weight of the world that she sometimes spotted in his eyes was back with a vengeance.
Lois reached out and let her fingers trail down his arm until she clasped his hand in hers. The spark of electricity was still there, strong as ever.
Clark’s eyes widened and for a moment Lois saw his uncertainty, but she also noticed the hitch to his breath and the gleam in his eyes. She felt a slight twitch as if his first impulse was to pull back, but then he relaxed and slipped his hand more fully into hers.
As she looked into his eyes, she could almost see the war of emotions tearing him apart. The past few weeks had taken a huge toll on him, both emotionally and physically. Red kryptonite, a man who'd tried to sue him, Mazik’s blackmail and her discovery of Superman's true identity and the resulting argument had left him deeply shaken, even before two people in a row had tried to kill him.
No wonder Clark was reeling. Lois gave his hand a comforting squeeze that he returned in kind. Just this tiny gesture caused a flutter of excitement deep inside her belly. A real smile crept back onto his lips, tentative at first, but becoming broader.
Lois could get lost in that smile and the longing in his gaze. His eyes were begging her not to give up on him, to push through all the lines of resistance he was building up around himself. For years, he'd been so very patient with her, so surely she could be patient with him.
But now that she'd finally admitted to her feelings for him, she did not want to be patient. She wanted to know what it was like to love Clark Kent, to be loved by him now that there were no secrets left between them.
Lois felt the overwhelming need to seal his lips. She leaned in, craving his reassurance that everything would work out fine, no matter how torn he seemed. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. Soon, she'd feel his lips again and everything would fall into place. The dark clouds would vanish, she'd help him forget…
“Lois? Is that you?”
Lois turned at the sound, startled. She looked into the pale blue eyes of a woman in her late fifties, who seemed vaguely familiar. She took in the woman's face, imagining her with fewer wrinkles and darker hair.
“Dorothy?”
It had been years since she'd last seen her, back when she'd still lived with her parents. Dorothy had then been a regular visitor, trying to help her mother until Ellen Lane had thrown her out over an argument concerning the amount of alcohol she drank.
They'd reconciled when Ellen had finally admitted to her problem and managed to stay sober. And Lois’ mother was also the reason they were here now. Lois had told her over the phone that she and Clark needed to lay low and Ellen had suggested her friend’s hotel.
The older woman beamed. “Lois, it’s so good to see you. It’s been a while. My, you’ve grown up since I’ve last seen you.” She held out her hand toward Clark. “And you must be her partner. Am I ever glad to have the two of you here. I could really use some help with moving the furniture in one of the guest rooms. It’s in desperate need of a fresh painting. And the sink is leaking so…” She bit her lower lip and chuckled self-consciously. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. I guess it would be better to start with showing you to your room.”
“I’m glad to help,” Clark replied. “Thanks for inviting us over.”
Lois’ heart skipped a beat as Dorothy looked at her, obviously confused. She blinked a few times and Lois felt her stomach churn. Would she say anything and clue Clark in that this wasn’t all just a lucky coincidence? He had enough on his mind already.
“It’s my pleasure.” Dorothy smiled thinly, before she focused her attention on both of them. “I hope you two are comfortable with sharing a room. Though, from what I could see just a moment ago, it sure looks like it.”
She didn’t wait for an answer but went around Lois and Clark to take a key from a board behind the reception. Then she headed for the other side of the hall, where a staircase led to the upper floors.
“A bus full of tourists will arrive tonight,” Dorothy said. “I’m afraid I don’t have but this one room. And it's a double bed. There’s a couch too, though it's not exactly big.”
She eyed Clark as if trying to gauge whether or not he would fit.
“It’s okay,” Lois replied quickly, “we'll be fine.”
Beside her, Clark raised his brows but didn't say anything. A hint of amusement played around his lips. She could see the mischief in his eyes that always appeared when he was teasing her. All their previous stays at hotel rooms had had him sleeping on the couch and her having the bed. Would he insist that it was finally his turn taking that bed or would they share?
Dorothy interrupted Lois’ thoughts by opening the door to a cozy hotel room. It was rather small, with a comfortable looking double bed in the middle and a tiny looking couch in one corner of the room. Likely not big enough to accommodate Clark.
“I'll leave you two to get comfortable. And dry.” Dorothy winked at them, before she turned. “Dinner’s ready at seven.”
She closed the door behind her, leaving Lois and Clark alone in the room.
Lois had a long look at the bed and took a deep, steadying breath. Memories of a similar bed popped up, where Clark had kissed her senseless so the maid wouldn’t see their surveillance equipment. But they weren’t here for a story now. And just a few short weeks ago Clark had proposed to her. While a part of her longed to feel his body above hers, not in a ruse this time, she wasn’t sure she was ready for all the implications.
This vacation had been a spur of the moment decision, a ploy to get Clark out of town lest he tried to find the madman who’d attacked them both.
A rush of warmth enveloped Lois. Steam rose from her clothes. She turned to Clark, who’d pulled down his glasses and looked at her intently. A second later, he pushed the glasses back up his nose and gave her a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, if I startled you,” he said quietly. “You looked so uncomfortable and since nobody was watching…”
A blush crept across his cheeks, so adorable that Lois completely forgot about her worries. God, she loved this man. He was so kind and caring, completely unlike any other man she’d dated before. And of course he wouldn’t just assume that she was okay with intimacy without asking her permission first. And the thought of spending the night with him while just spooning made her mouth run dry.
Clark reached out and cupped her cheek, running his thumb along her skin in a gentle caress. She closed the distance between them, and he pulled her into an embrace. She inhaled his soft scent, enjoying the comfort of his warmth. Her hands rested against the firm muscles of his chest, then trailed lower and stroked him through his shirt.
With a start, Lois realized that she didn’t want it to stop there. She ached to feel his skin under the tips of her fingers. The thought of exploring his body was strangely exciting.
So much had happened since she'd finally admitted to her feelings for him, since they'd worked past all the secrets and misunderstandings. A night in front of a campfire that ended with them being held at gunpoint could hardly count as a date in her book.
They were alone now, far away from the hustle and bustle of their usual lives. Superman was still not completely back to his normal self and Clark had promised not to fly off unless there was a true emergency. She had him all to herself and there was no story to distract them. It was the perfect opportunity to get to know each other on a more physical level.
She got on her toes, longing to finally lose herself in his kiss. All she really wanted was to forget what was happening around them. And while she was at it, she could also rid Clark of the strange notion that he was dangerous to her.
Just a few inches and she'd taste his lips.
“Lois, why are we here?” Clark murmured into her hair. “I feel like there's something going on that you don't want to tell me about. Dorothy didn't really invite us, did she?”
Lois’ heart dropped and she couldn’t quite stifle a sigh of frustration. Of course he wouldn’t miss the clues. She cursed herself for not taking the time to call Dorothy herself and explain the situation. Instead, she’d run around like a startled chicken as she'd packed their bags, forming some half-baked explanation about her mother’s friend being in a sticky situation. Apparently, she wasn’t much better at finding excuses than Clark.
“She could use the help…” Lois hedged.
“I don't doubt it.” He pulled back and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, his gaze full of concern. “But why would she pick a weekend when her hotel is already overbooked?”
Lois released a sigh. It was no use to try and tell him yet more lies and half-truths. They’d only just moved past that. If she expected him to never lie to her again, she owed him the same courtesy, even if her reasons for leaving Clark in the dark were just.
“Okay, she didn't invite us,” she relented. “I needed a place for us to lay low and my mother suggested Dorothy’s hotel.”
Clark paled and pulled his hand back. His expression changed from concerned to alarmed.
“Lay low?” he croaked.
Lois closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. She’d known he would react like this. Biting her lip, Lois wondered what she could to tell him that wouldn't have him run off in a heroic, but completely insane attempt to keep her safe. He was so sweet, but sometimes such a moron.
And she loved him for it.
She really did.
If only…
But it was no use trying to deceive Superman, so she settled for the truth. “The guy who shot at you managed to escape from prison.”
Clark’s brows rose toward his hairline and he gave a slight shake of his head. “He shot at you.”
Once again, his gaze drifted to the band-aid on her forehead and guilt rippled across his features until he set his jaw in grim determination. Lois watched the display of emotion with a sense of unease, dreading the gust of wind he'd leave in his wake should he dash off.
She gripped his arm and felt silly for it.
He was Superman, after all.
“Oh, come on Clark,” she begged anyway. “He had a kryptonite laser for Heaven’s sake. Who do you think was his true target?”
Tears welled up in her eyes. The terror of almost losing him was too fresh in her mind to keep them at bay.
“Yeah, but he used you and that's even worse.” His eyes clouded over with a pain so raw and so deep that it scared Lois.
He jerked his hand from her grip, not forceful enough to hurt her. Still, his unusually brusque reaction gave her an idea of the storm raging inside him. He wrapped his arms around himself, starting to pace. In the small confines of the room, he looked like a caged animal.
“You're in constant danger because of me.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears and his voice turned so hoarse it was barely a whisper, “I was a fool to believe that I could have a normal life, that being in love and having a relationship with you were possible.”
Clark averted his gaze and a tremor ran through his body, probably a sob he fought to keep in. Lois came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a desperate attempt to make him stay.
“You're not saying what I think you're saying, are you? You,” her voice broke. “You're not breaking up with me!”
He let out a low groan. “What am I supposed to do? Ever since you met me, you've been in danger more times than I can count. You've been thrown out of a plane, I nearly killed you because Mazik blackmailed me, Spencer used you to get Superman.”
Clark turned in her arms and his gaze once more drifted toward her latest injury.
He swallowed hard. “And now you're hurt, again because of me. I can't let anything else happen to you.”
He hung his head and looked thoroughly defeated. Though she wanted to, Lois couldn't bring herself to be angry at him. In a way, he was even right.
Her life
had taken a crazy turn ever since she'd walked into his interview with Perry. But it was also so much richer, so full of love and excitement. She wouldn't want to miss any of it for the world.
She needed Clark Kent, just like he needed her.
Like Superman needed her.
The strongest man in the world stood before her, shaking and pale, at the verge of crying and about to shut her out of his life. She sensed his walls going up.
“Don’t you see?” He heaved a long sigh. “As long as you're with me, as long as people see a connection between you and Superman, you're constantly in danger.” Clark raked his hand through his hair. “How could I ask you to take such a risk?”
“Because I love you, because I want you in my life,” she cried.
She was going to lose him! He was slipping through her fingers, right before her eyes. She needed to knock some sense into him. She’d be damned if he shut her out now, if she’d let him turn on her because of some perceived threat. He wasn't going to leave her now, not after everything they’d just been through. She wasn’t going to let him.
Without really thinking about her next step, Lois silenced him with a fierce kiss. He stumbled back and lost his balance. They tumbled onto the bed. She deepened the kiss as she heard his groan and plundered his mouth with abandon, willing him to taste her love for him, her need to have him in her life.
She'd wasted too much time doubting herself, doubting him. He moaned into her mouth. His initial resistance melted under her attack and he returned the kiss just as passionately. His tongue greeted hers and they began a dance that made any coherent thoughts stop.
There was just him and her, his firm chest under her fingers, his hands roaming her back in a gentle caress. The silky softness of his mouth stirred a fire deep inside her belly. She wanted more of this, more of him. Her hands started to fumble with the hem of his shirt, aching to feel his naked skin.
“Lois,” he gasped between kisses. “Don't do this.”
“Why? Don't you like it?”
She’d meant to sound sultry, but she couldn’t quite keep the anger and disappointment from her voice. Lois let go of his shirt and pulled back. A huge lump settled in her throat. Had she misinterpreted the signs, didn't he want her like she wanted him? Had her kisses left him cold, like she'd been told so often?
“I do like it,” he said roughly. “Very much so. And I’d really love to continue, but it's not right.”
She fought against the tears, refusing to cry. “Why?”
He sat up, took off his glasses and buried his face in his hands. “Because this will only make things more difficult in the long run.” A low groan escaped his throat before he looked up again, his jaw set in grim determination. “Superman… I…. can't have a relationship. If anyone ever found out about you, every thug and his dog would be after you to make me do their bidding.”
The haunted look in his eyes left little doubt how much that thought scared him. On some level, she could understand his worries. But the larger part of her was just too angry to listen.
Bitterly she said, “You should have considered that before you made me fall in love with you.”
He paled. “I didn't… look, I’m sorry. I know this is the worst possible timing. But I just can't keep putting you in such situations. If people didn't think that they could manipulate me –”
She shook her head. “You’re wrong about this, Clark.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “That guy shot at you to lure me into a trap. If I hadn't been in time, who knows what would have happened? Even a kryptonite laser is still a laser. You could have been hurt…” His voice broke and he swallowed hard before he rasped, “...even killed.”
His lips had become a thin line, his shoulders were slumped in defeat. The proud man next to her, who could lift space shuttles into orbit without breaking a sweat, who’d stopped an asteroid from crashing into Earth, looked unusually small. He seemed so utterly forlorn as he sat next to her on the bed.
Lois realized that she needed to tell him the whole truth, even if she found it hard to admit it to herself.
She reached for his hand, half-expecting him to pull back. But he let her touch him. She took his hand into hers, rubbing her thumb across its back while she tried to find the strength to admit aloud, and also to herself, what had really happened at the fire.
She closed her eyes. “The guy wanted to hurt
me, Clark. If he'd succeeded in killing Superman that would have been just a bonus. When Henderson interrogated him, he said that he wanted me to watch Superman die right before my eyes.”
Clark just stared at her. His lips moved but no words came out.
“And now that he's broken out of prison, he's after you, Clark. Not Superman or me. You.” Lois stared at her hands, suddenly wishing she'd told him sooner. “I must have really pissed the guy off when I exposed him all those years ago.”
“Hey, this isn't your fault,” Clark said softly.
He pulled her into an embrace and gratefully she sank against his firm chest. It felt so good to be near him. Once again, the terror of almost losing him bubbled up.
She sobbed. “It is my fault. Just like it was my fault that Luthor very nearly killed you on my wedding day. It was my fault Arianna Carlin shot you. And you almost had to give up your life as Clark Kent because you protected me from John Dillinger. I'm a constant threat to your life.”
He shook his head and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I wouldn't know how to live without you, Lois. You're my first thought when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep.”
“Yet, you're suggesting that we break up.”
“No, I’m…” He hung his head. “I don't know. I'm just so confused. Being Superman is the life I chose. I want to help people, even if it means that I become a target. But you… you never asked for any of this and… “
Clark wearily rubbed his eyes. She wanted to reach out and reassure him that she was willing to accept the risks if it meant he was part of her life. But something told her that he wasn't done talking, that he was still struggling for the right words.
So Lois waited for him to continue. And again her gaze drifted across his body, the broad shoulders and strong forearms. His large hands could lift spaceships and catch bullets. But they were also capable of such gentleness.
She wanted to reach out and stroke his back, she longed to feel his hands on her body, caressing her stomach. Her breath caught and she felt her cheeks grow hot. She shouldn't be thinking of such things, not while he was so clearly torn.
“I guess I never really thought much about the consequences,” he muttered. “I dated a few women before meeting you, but there was not a single one I thought would be able to accept my alien side.”
He shifted on the bed. An awkward smile played around his lips, as if in some way he was still uncomfortable with his origins. She covered his hand with hers and ran her thumb over its back. Clark's face lit up, and he looked at her with one drawn out, longing gaze that seemed to tell his whole story of loneliness and fear of rejection. But she could also see that gleam of hope she'd so often seen in Superman's eyes. Perhaps that was what had drawn her to him in the first place.
Clark leaned in, ever so slightly, as if he felt that same pull toward her that gravitated her to him. She wanted to close the distance so badly and capture his lips. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her breath caught.
But then he straightened and stared at his hands. “When you came along, you embraced Superman so readily that Clark didn't seem to stand a chance against him. I know I did a lot of stupid things because I was jealous of myself. But I was also excited because I had finally found the one person who could love me for who I am. And I was so desperate to win your heart, that I didn't think about what it would mean for you. I was so selfish.”
She shook her head. “No. Wanting for someone to love you isn't selfish, Clark. And being with you is the life I chose for me. It took me long enough to acknowledge my feelings for you or come to terms with the fact that you kept this huge secret from me.”
“I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier. I…”
She laid a finger on his lips to shush him. “Yeah, you should have. But I'm beginning to understand why you didn't. And I don't want us to argue about that anymore, or about whether or not you're allowed to be involved with someone.”
She took both his hands in hers, meeting his gaze with all the sincerity she was capable of.
“I need you in my life Clark, just like I know you need me. I'm willing to take the risks if it means the two of us can be together. You're taking them too: you almost died saving me. Afterwards, you were so withdrawn…” She cupped his cheek and ran her thumb along his skin.
He didn’t pull back.
Instead, he looked at her with a longing in his eyes that mirrored her own. It made her breath catch in her throat. She was aching to kiss him and get a taste of his quiet strength and his love for her. But as much as she was craving the feeling of his lips on hers, some part of her wanted Clark to take the first step.
When he kissed her, she needed to be sure that he did it of his own free will.
“I missed you so much these past few days,” she whispered.
He sighed heavily and rested his forehead against hers. “Missed you too.”
For a while, they stayed like this. She heard Clark take shuddering breaths as he leaned into her touch. His eyes fluttered shut as if he concentrated on her alone and drew strength from that connection. The tension in her muscles eased as she realized that his walls were crumbling. He was no longer shutting her out. She wanted to feel his lips on hers so badly, but she knew that for once she needed to be patient and let him close the distance in his own time.
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he mumbled. “You’re so much braver than I am.”
When he looked at her again, something in his expression had changed. The doubts were gone, replaced by a confidence she hadn’t seen in weeks. Lois’ heart skipped a beat and her breath caught in her chest as he finally moved in to capture her lips in a gentle kiss.
His mouth on hers was warm and silky. Sparks of pleasure went down her spine as his tongue brushed against hers. He suckled on her lower lip and his kiss turned bolder. His hands moved along her arms, caressing her skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. She felt the pressure of his lips increase and sank back down onto the bed, following his lead. His weight settled above her, just enough of it to reassure her that he was still very much alive.
Heat pooled deep within her belly and she moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss. All coherent thoughts just stopped. Lois was only aware of his hands slowly exploring her body, his lips on hers and the whiff of his breath on her face that turned slightly erratic. A rush of desire made her nerve ends tingle with anticipation. She didn’t want him to stop kissing her.
But, suddenly, he pulled back, a sheepish smile on his lips. “Sorry, I’m making you all wet.”
She blinked in confusion until it dawned on her that Clark had only dried her, not himself. His clothes were still wet from the rain. She hadn’t even noticed. But the last thing she wanted was for him to move away again.
She grabbed his shirt and undid the first button, her heart racing at the prospect of undressing him.
“Then we should get you out of these clothes.” She grinned and moved toward the second button.
His cheeks flushed as he watched her, mesmerized as her hands moved down to the third button and then the fourth.
“Lois,” he said huskily.
She undid the next two buttons, but couldn’t hold herself back any longer. With bated breath, she exposed his naked chest and ran her hands along his skin. He shivered at her touch, his eyes clouding over with desire. She placed a kiss on his chest, leaving a trail of wet skin behind as she moved lower.
Once the last button was undone, she slipped the shirt from his muscular shoulders. Lois sucked in a breath. He was perfect. She'd almost forgotten how incredible he looked shirtless. Smooth, olive tanned skin stretched over well-defined muscles. They said that his suit left little to imagination.
It wasn't true.
Nobody could even begin to guess what or rather who truly was beneath that spandex.
“Like what you see?” he asked playfully.
“Yes,” she whispered.
She drew a circle across his skin, for a moment tempted to make it an S. But she hesitated. Right now, it was Clark she needed.
They stared at each other, a strange tension between them. Something was about to change. Stripping Clark off his shirt was one thing. Removing his belt was the logical next step. And yet, it would give their encounter a whole new, definite meaning.
Lois’ hands tingled with the urge to touch him. A part of her was dying to find out what it would be like to make love to him. All it would take was to move her hands lower and undo his belt.
Clark's breath turned shallow. His eyes were dark with desire. However, he didn't make the first move.
Silence stretched between them. Clark's eyes however spoke volumes, telling her how much he loved her, how long he'd been dreaming of this, that he would never do anything to hurt her.
She believed him.
Still, she hesitated, though she had no idea why. Clark was the one for her. It had taken a long time for her to realize that, for her to trust him enough that she was ready to admit to her feelings. A part of her was probably still scared that she would blow it.
Just a moment ago, she'd been so confident. Now, she wasn't sure she was ready for the next step. It was insane. After all, she'd jumped in before. Making love with Clark would probably be better than with Claude. She knew that he cared about her enough to make sure -
“It's okay if you're not ready yet,” Clark pulled her from her musings. “I'm not expecting anything beyond spending time with you.”
“But I want to…” Lois took a shaky breath. “And I don't…Gosh, this doesn't make sense.”
He chuckled. “Hey, you've got a whole weekend to make up your mind. Or longer.”
Clark closed the distance between them, brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss her. His lips brushed against hers, light as a feather. His tongue darted forward, teasing her gently.
“I'll wait for you as long as it takes,” he whispered between kisses. “No pressure. When we make love one day, I want it to be special for both of us.”
When they parted, she leaned against his shoulder. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
He grinned. “You put up with a lunkhead like me. I’d say that's plenty.”
Clark wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.
“Thank you for saving me,” he whispered.
Then he sealed her lips with another long kiss.
-------------------------------
Prompts by LoveTVFan
Want:
-Angst
-Sexual tension (or even full NFic if the author wants but not necessary)
-Beginning of relationship
Don't want:
-AU
-Lex Luthor
-A plot
Author’s noteThe early relationship of Lois and Clark is full of angst, but for some reason I kept drifting toward an episode we all love to hate: Contact. I don’t think I even considered it as my least favorite episode, because it’s one I’d rather forget. But I felt like the inner conflict Clark resolves with the stupid move of breaking up with Lois “for her own good” was worth exploring. Well, I’m hoping I did a better job than the show. This story is meant as a replacement for the episode.
CommentsTOC2023 Fictathon Master List
