Between Two Worlds
By AmandaK
TOCAuthor’s Note:
For the purposes of this story, Kryptonian dialogue will be noted by <>. Telepathic communication will be noted with []. Hopefully, this will be easy enough to follow.
Chapter 3Clark followed Lois down the farmhouse stairs after saying goodnight to the boys. They’d settled Jor in Jon’s room for the night – and likely for the foreseeable future, provided the boys managed to get along alright. Jon was amicable to having a roommate and Jor seemed indifferent – his earlier hostility about having a brother directed more at Clark than at Jon himself.
For now, Jor was sleeping on a thin mattress which Clark had retrieved from the ship after dinner. They would look into getting him a proper bed soon, but for now it would do. He’d spent the last month on the same mattress and his bed on New Krypton had not been much different.
Walking into the living room with Lois, they found his parents already settled with a pot of tea on the coffee table and cups waiting for them.
“The boys all settled in?” Martha asked.
Clark nodded. “I love what you did with the attic.” The large space, once used for general storage, had been cleaned out and finished with proper walls and flooring. It was now decorated with posters from some TV show Clark didn’t recognize and some dinosaur prints leftover from Jon’s younger days.
“It was Jon’s idea.” Johnathan replied. “He wanted to live in the barn loft at first.”
Lois and Martha both chuckled at this and Lois explained, “When he was six, he decided he was too old to share a room with his mother when we visited. He slept in the barn for a week, before we were able to convince him to consider other options.”
Clark laughed. “Well, it looks great. I hope he and Jor are able to work out sharing the space for now.” He sat on the couch and selected a cup of tea from the coffee table. Lois sat next to him, though she left a noticeable space between them. He wasn’t surprised. They had so much to talk about and he could hardly expect them to just pick up where they left off as though he hadn’t been gone for ten years.
He sighed and looked up at his parents, who were both staring back with identical looks of expectation. “I guess you all have a lot of questions – starting with…” he lifted his eyes to the ceiling. His x-ray vision wasn’t working yet but he knew approximately where the boys were each sleeping. “…Jor.”
He was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out where to begin – how to explain. Apparently, his silence lingered for too long because Lois prompted him to continue. “You said he was your son.”
Clark nodded. That was as good a place as any. “Yes.” He took a breath. “Jor is my son. I am the only man he has ever known to be his father and… I am all he has left. I will never claim that Jor is anything but my son. However, that is not entirely… accurate.”
Lois met his gaze, confusion and curiosity etched across her features. No one else spoke and Clark breathed deeply again before continuing. “Ching… was Jor’s biological father.”
Understanding, mingled with surprise, swept across Lois’ face. A glance to the side revealed similar expressions on each of his parents.
“But no one knew that,” Clark continued. “Jor didn’t even know until a few weeks before we left. It’s a big part of the reason we had to leave.” Clark stopped as memories flooded over him – the shock and anger of the council, Zara’s fear, Ching’s desperate planning, Jor’s quiet confusion, their desperate attempt at escape, Ching’s and then Zara’s final moments. Clark shut his eyes against the guilt that rushed over him again. If only he could have saved them…
A hand on his knee brought him out of his inner anguish. Clark looked up to meet Lois’ eyes once more. Her eyes said everything she didn’t say out loud – stop it. Stop beating yourself up for something you couldn’t control.
Even after all this time, even not knowing exactly what was going through his mind, she still knew him so well – well enough to recognize when he was on a downward spiral of guilt and self-criticism. She’d pulled him from those depths before. Looking back at her now, Clark hoped she could do it again. But then, she had no idea how deep he had already gone, how much anguish he had buried in his attempts to keep going for Jor’s sake, for Zara’s and Ching’s while they’d still been alive. And he wondered if he’d have to keep hiding it all now – for her, for his parents, for the boys. Could he really expect them to bear the burden of all he’d been through?
Lois offered him a small smile of encouragement. “Perhaps it would be best to start at the beginning.”
Clark nodded and pushed his hair back away from his forehead. “The beginning… right. Well, from the moment we arrived on New Krypton, nothing went according to plan.”
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NEW KANDOR, NEW KRYPTON – TEN YEARS AGO
Clark stormed into the apartment he shared with Zara in New Kandor, the capital of New Krypton. He shrugged the formal robe from his shoulders and tossed it carelessly over a nearby chair, then ran both hands through his hair in agitation as he waited for Zara to enter the room behind him. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, he launched into the rant that had been building since they’d left the Council Chamber ten minutes ago.
“They can’t honestly expect us to do this!” he began, automatically falling back into English now that they were alone. He’d learned Kryptonian easily enough. Apparently, being a polyglot was not tied to the powers gifted to him by Earth’s yellow sun, nor was it unique to him among Kryptonians – though most on New Krypton had little use for the skill. Nevertheless, he preferred to use English whenever possible.
Zara also shifted her language in deference to him as she cut off what he was about to say. “They can and the do, Kal-El.” Clark shot her a look to which she immediately backtracked. “I am sorry. Clark.”
“Thank you.” Another thing Clark preferred was for Zara and Ching to call him Clark when they were alone. He could hardly expect the Council or any of his… subjects… on New Krypton to call him anything except Lord Kal-El, anymore than he could get them to stop bowing whenever he entered a room. But among those he had come to consider his friends, he wanted to at least keep a pretense of normalcy in his life.
Sighing, he sat down for a moment in the same chair which now held his robe, only to spring up again and begin pacing the room. “I shouldn’t even be here. I came here to help prevent a war – not to lead one already in progress.”
“We could not have known that Lord Nor would stage a coup in our absence.” Zara explained what he already knew. “That he managed to rally so many to his side… it was unfathomable. I thought for sure he would wait and try to take control legally through marriage to me, should we fail to find you. But he did not. And New Krypton looks to you now to lead them out of this civil war.”
“I’m a journalist!” Clark threw his hands in the air. “I’m not a military general or even a political leader. I don’t know how to do this.”
“You will have advisors. Ching and I will help to guide you. You will not be alone in this endeavor. We have discussed this before.”
She wasn’t wrong. In the two weeks since they had arrived on New Krypton, only to discover the war already begun, they had spent many hours talking about just what was expected of Clark in his new role as leader, and how he would accomplish it all.
“I know. I know.” Clark sighed again and tried to recenter his thoughts to the cause of his current distress. “But now they want us too…” he trailed off, not even wanting to voice the request which had been made of them.
Zara nodded. “It will secure our position as leaders in the eyes of the people. They need the assurance that our line will continue, that following us now will not simply be delaying another war in the future.”
“But, Zara, we agreed we would be friends, partners, but not partners in…” he gestured blindly in the direction of the bedrooms. Clark had been more than relieved to find that the apartment held three bedrooms. He had gratefully claimed one of the spares as his own when they arrived, after a month of awkwardly sleeping on the floor of his and Zara’s shared room on the “Palace” during their journey.
“Yes, we did agree.” Zara looked to the side, avoiding his gaze. “But that was before we knew about the war. The Council and our people expect us to produce an heir.”
“An heir,” Clark scoffed. “You make it sound so sterile – as though the act of creating a child were little more than a political necessity.”
“In this case, it is.”
“Well, it’s not for me!” Clark exclaimed, unable to hold back his frustration. “I’ve always wanted a family, Zara, but not like this. I wanted to fall in love and get married and have children be the product of that love. And I can’t… I can’t just sleep with you to produce an heir. I can’t betray Lois.”
He shut his eyes as the memory of their final night together washed over him – her touch, her scent, her voice… oh, how he missed her.
Zara sighed and sat down. “Lois is not you wife. I am.”
Clark opened his eyes and looked her. On the outside, she seemed to accept their situation and what was being asked of them. But Clark had known her long enough now to be able to sense the emotions stirring under her carefully constructed façade. She was hurting too. Hurting because she did not love him. Hurting because she had accepted her duty to be his wife but knew that he did not fully accept his duty as her husband. Hurting because the man she did love was always so close by and yet completely out of reach.
Clark let his frustrations and anger wash away, knowing that taking them out on Zara would only hurt her more. She was his friend. He cared about her. And none of this was her fault – not really. She’d only ever done what she felt was best for her people – including asking him to leave the only home he’d ever known, to leave the woman he loved, and come back with her to save their people.
Kneeling in front of her, Clark rested his hand on top of Zara’s. “Neither of us chose this. It was forced upon us by our parents and by an archaic society that seriously needs to get over itself.” Zara cracked a small smile at that. “If we just keep kowtowing to outdated laws and the whims of the Council, we are ultimately going to lose ourselves. I have a life I want to get back to. I have Lois. I am not prepared to give up on returning to her. You have Ching and I don’t think you’re ready to completely give up on the possibility of a future with him either. There must be another way.”
“What way could there possibly be?” Zara implored. “How can we remain true to ourselves while still doing our duty as the leaders of New Krypton?”
Clark stood and began pacing once more, his former agitation replaced by contemplation as he reviewed their situation for any chink or loophole which they could use in their favor. “What if…” he stopped himself from voicing the thought that had come to him suddenly. He wasn’t sure Zara would take the suggestion well. He wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about it. It was… deceptive to say the least and went against many of the ideals he had held on Earth. But it could also solve their problem and bring some happiness to his two friends.
“You have a thought?” Zara inquired when he did not immediately continue.
Clark nodded an took a seat in the chair across from her, bracing his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. “Yes. I have an idea but it’s not… entirely… honest.” Zara opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off. “Just bear with me here,” he pleaded. She sat and nodded for Clark to continue.
Taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts, he decided bring her around to the idea carefully. “You love Ching.” It wasn’t a question but he waited for her response.
“You know I do.”
“And he loves you.”
“He would never say so.” Zara demurred.
Clark smiled at her hesitance to say what she knew to be true. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
A light blush stole over her cheeks. “I have noticed his gaze as well. We were children together, you know. We made promises to one another before we fully understood our responsibilities to the state. Then he went away for training and I to my schooling. We learned what was expected of us and have never discussed those days since.”
“But he still loves you.” Clark pushed.
“I… believe so, yes.”
Clark nodded. “Then you should be with him – not with me. He should be the father of any children you have.”
Zara sighed wistfully. “If only that were possible.”
“It can be.” Clark paused as surprise and confusion swept through her gaze. “You and Ching could be together in secret. No one would need to know –”
Zara stood suddenly, shock at his words now evident on her face. “You suggest that I betray our marriage vows?”
Clark stood as well but kept himself calm. “What vows? I don’t recall making any promises to you. Our parents promised us to each other and some guy in a weird hat tied our arms together and said a bunch of words I couldn’t understand. But I never made any promises to you and I’m fairly certain you didn’t make any to me.”
Zara shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Our laws -”
Clark cut her off. “Your laws allow a noble man to take concubines,” he spat the word, “alongside his wife. Why can’t a noble woman have a lover on the side?”
“It simply isn’t done. If a concubine were to conceive a child by the nobleman, neither she nor the child would receive recognition. Most often she would be sent away with a hefty payment to compensate her. The child would not be his heir.”
Clark frowned but said nothing as Zara continued, “If a noble woman were to take a lover apart from her husband, they would have to prove legitimacy of any child produced. And then what would become of the illegitimate child?”
“So, the laws favor the man – again.” Clark huffed his exasperation. “This society is so backwards.”
“I seem to recall things not being so different on Earth.” Zara argued. “Men were frequently favored over women. Even Lois mentioned how hard she had to work to earn respect amongst her colleagues.”
“At least on Earth we’re trying to move towards equality, even if we aren’t always perfect about it,” Clark maintained. “New Krypton is stuck in the past and refuses to move forward.”
Zara nodded but did not back down. “Nevertheless, they are our laws. If I did as you suggest…”
“No one would know. You and Ching could finally be together – not publicly, but still together. I would never contest it. You belong together.”
For a moment, Zara seemed to consider his words, but then she scoffed. “And if I was to become with child? What then? Would you claim the child as your own?”
Clark sighed but nodded. “I suppose I would have to. It’s the only way to make this work – but Ching would always have a place in his child’s life. We’d make sure of it.”
“No one could ever know.” Zara continued. “The child could never know that you were not his or her true father.”
Clark nodded, agreeing to this as Zara crossed the room to the lone window, looking out over the barren landscape of New Krypton. He could practically feel the wheels turning in her head. Given the telepathic connection he was steadily becoming more accustomed to, that is probably just what he was sensing. She was coming around to the idea – her love for Ching and desire to be with him contributing largely to her decision.
When she turned to face him again, she had clearly made up her mind. “I will discuss the matter with Ching. If he finds the arrangement agreeable…” She didn’t need to explain what would happen if he did.
Clark nodded, grateful that, for the time being, he was free from the expectation of bearing a child with a woman he didn’t love. He sighed and let his thoughts wander back across the lightyears to the woman he’d left behind.
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FORT LIGUHSH (outside of New Kandor), NEW KRYTON – 9 MONTHS LATER
“Vas Fonn-Dos. Ki-Zill. Lera Ho-Zix. Relsa Ve-Zyl. Sonn-Raz. Ses Till-Rod. Dohna Bas-Zell. Tan-Ull. Kor-Jek. Seva Rav-Ned. Qag-Do.” Clark sighed and dropped his head to his desk as he finished reading off the names on the latest casualty report from the front lines.
He hated this.
Everyday another list. Everyday more names to add to his conscience.
Zara and Ching would tell him not to carry their deaths on his shoulders – that this was war and they were soldiers. But they weren’t here. They weren’t the ones forced to decide who to send and where to send them. No. That burden fell on him alone, as ruler of New Krypton.
Shortly after Zara had confirmed with the physicians that she was with child; Clark had been sent to live at Fort Liguhsh. There he was expected to oversee the troops and direct their movements over the course of the war. In a short time, he had learned more about battles and military strategy than he had ever wanted to know.
Sometimes he was able to put his emotions aside and tackle each battle objectively – like a game of chess. But then the casualty reports came in and no matter how hard he tried to pretend, he could not ignore the fact that real men were losing their lives everyday and he was the one who had ultimately sent them to their deaths.
A knock on his office door startled Clark from his dark thoughts. Straightening in his seat, he schooled his expression and took a deep breath before responding. < “Enter.”>
The door opened to admit Trey, leader of the Kryptonian Council and Clark’s chief advisor. In many ways, the man had also become a friend to Clark and more accepting of his ‘bizarre human customs.’ Clark relaxed a bit upon seeing who was there.
< “Pardon me, Lord Kal-El. Commander Tunn-Bisk awaits your instruction on which platoon to prepare for travel tomorrow.”>
Clark sighed heavily and his shoulders sagged. < “How am I supposed to decide? How can I send more men to the front lines, knowing that most of them will not be coming home to their families? This world has so few people as it is. How can we continue sacrificing its young men to this ridiculous war?”>
Trey wrung his hands together for a moment, unsure of how to respond. < “If we do not send troops to the front line, Milord, Nor’s men will continue to advance into our towns and cities. Should that happen, it will not only be men on the casualty reports, but women and children as well.”
Clark slammed a hand down on his desk. He was grateful, for once, that he had no powers on New Krypton, else the desk would have been reduced to splinters. < “I know! I know…”> He sighed again, resigning himself to the truth in Trey’s words.
As much as he hated taking part in this war, it was a necessary evil so long as Nor refused to move towards peaceful negotiations. To be fair, Nor knew well that any ending to the war that was not in his favor would result in him being tried as a war criminal. Clark knew that Nor would keep this going until he either won or was killed.
So long as Nor’s troops continued to press, those loyal to New Krypton would have to defend. More than defend, really. At some point they would need to push back in an attack of their own. Clark’s advisors had been on him for some time to make such a move.
Meanwhile, Clark was pouring over strategy texts, searching for some way to go on the offensive while keeping the casualties to a minimum. This wasn’t chess or football. Lives were at stake. He had spent years, as Superman, saving lives. He had come to New Krypton to prevent a war and help save lives. Instead, it seemed that he would be forever responsible for the 627 lives lost in just nine short months, not counting the lives of Nor’s soldiers, and who knew how many deaths were still to come.
If he couldn’t find a way to end this war…
He looked again at the maps and lists strewn across his desk, attempting to come to a decision for Trey to pass along to Commander Tunn-Bisk. He quickly narrowed it down to two possible platoons who were in a good position to move to the front lines, but before he could make his final choice, another knock sounded on the door.
< “Enter,”> Clark called as both he and Trey turned to see the new arrival. A messenger pushed through the door and quickly fell to one knee. Clark tried not to roll his eyes. He’d long since given up on asking people not to do that.
< “Milord Kal-El – a message for you from New Kandor.”> He paused waiting for approval to proceed. Clark waved for him to continue. < “Lady Zara has gone into labor. Your presence is requested in New Kandor.”>
Clark stood quickly, prepared to leave at once. He paused only to address Trey briefly, < “Tell Commander Tunn-Bisk to choose whichever platoon he thinks is best. I trust his judgement.”>
Without waiting for a reply, he grabbed his overcoat and headed out for the nearest transport station.
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NEW KANDOR – 2 HOURS LATER
Clark marched through the halls of the Primary Medical Plaza in New Kandor, ignoring the salutes and bows of those he passed. He had a vague idea of where he was headed but, mostly, he was following the mental link he’d established with Ching soon after his arrival.
Finally entering the maternity ward, he found Ching standing guard outside a room. A nurse at the main desk noticed his presence immediately and stood to greet him.
“Milord Kal-El. It is good that you are here,” she bobbed a curtsy as she passed and made her way into the birthing chamber. “I will inform them that you have arrived.” Then she was gone, leaving Clark and Ching alone in the hall.
Despite their apparent privacy, Clark chose to address his friend telepathically and in English. They could not be too careful. [I thought you would be inside.]
Ching shook his head subtly, his face as stoic as ever though Clark could feel the undercurrent of tension in his response. [Only the father of the child is permitted to enter the birthing chamber.]
Clark frowned but nodded. [I’m sorry.]
[It is as it must be.] Ching brushed off his apology. [There can be no suspicion.]
[Right. But still…] Clark sighed. [You should be with her.]
[My thoughts are with her. She knows that I am -] Ching cut off his thoughts suddenly, alarm crossing his features seconds before a piercing scream sounded from the room beyond. It lasted longer than Clark thought possible on a single breath and then ended as abruptly as it had begun.
Ching sighed heavily as much of the tension seemed to roll off his shoulders. [It is done.] He then turned back to Clark with a look somewhere between jealousy and acceptance. < “You should go in and meet the child.”>
Clark shook his head. No matter how much of a front Ching put on, Clark knew how much the other man wanted to be with Zara at this time – how much he wanted to meet HIS child. Besides, Clark had assisted with enough calvings on the farm to know how messy the whole process could be. < “I’ll give her some time to get cleaned up.”>
He told the nurses the same thing when they came out to retrieve him.
And so, the two men stood against the wall in near silence as doctors and nurses moved efficiently in and out of the room, removing soiled linens and used medical instruments while bringing in a basinet and various supplies for the baby. The hustle and bustle seemed to go on forever and yet pass in no time at all.
Suddenly, the head nurse was prompting him again. < “Lady Zara has requested your presence inside.”> Clark nodded but hesitated again before moving into the room. He looked back at Ching, who seemed as impassive as ever. Even so, Clark didn’t feel right meeting the child before Ching did.
< “Lieutenant Ching.”> He addressed his friend now as he would an inferior officer, knowing they had witnesses. < “You will act as guardian to the child as you are for Lady Zara?”>
< “Yes, Lord Kal-El.”> Ching responded aloud and then added mentally. [What are you doing, Clark?]
Clark nodded with an authoritarian air, leaving no room for argument. < “Very good. Come with me. You will begin your duties immediately.”>
Understanding and gratitude passed swiftly through their mental link as Ching fell into step behind him and they both entered Zara’s room. A few nurses still lingered in the room, busy with their various activities to ensure that all was well for both mother and child. Zara lay comfortably in her bed with a small blue bundle in her arms. She smiled up at the men when they entered, her eyes lingering on Ching.
< “Come in. Meet your son,”> she called out. The nurses, who weren’t paying much attention, could not have known that she wasn’t speaking to her husband. Clark wished the other women would leave so they wouldn’t have to keep up this pretense. He longed to step aside and give Ching and Zara the special moment they deserved.
Instead, he took his place by her bedside while Ching lingered back several paces. He did not lean forward to look at the small boy, forcing Zara to hold the child higher so that Clark, and hopefully Ching, could see his tiny face.
[He is perfect,] Ching’s voice sounded in his mind and, presumably, Zara’s as well.
< “He is perfect,”> Clark echoed the sentiment for the sake of their audience.
< “He needs a name,”> the head nurse said, appearing on the other side of the bed. < “The forms have all been completed, save a name. Have you chosen one yet, Milord?”> She addressed Clark as though the decision were his alone.
< “I…”> He stalled, glancing at Zara with uncertainty. He couldn’t name their son for them. He looked back at the nurse. < “We haven’t had time to discuss names. Perhaps you could give us a few minutes?”>
The nurse looked a touch put out by this but nodded and shooed her coworkers out of the room. As soon as the door shut behind them, Clark switched to English and spoke to both his friends. “What did you want to call him?”
The answer came from Zara. “Jor-El.”
Clark blinked, startled and certain he had misheard. “What? But that’s…”
“Your father’s name.” Zara finished when he trailed off. “Ching and I have discussed it. It is the name the people expect and a name they will respect.”
Clark shook his head. “That’s not a reason to…” He looked at Ching. [He’s YOUR son,] he insisted, opening his mental link for Zara to hear as well. “I couldn’t…”
“Your father was a great man, Clark.” Zara continued. “I have no memories of him but my own father always spoke highly of Jor-El and I hold his legacy in high regard.”
“As do I.” Ching stepped forward and rested one hand on Clark’s shoulder while placing the other gently on the bundle in Zara’s arms. [I would be honored for my son to share his name.]
Clark heaved a sigh and looked between his friends once more before nodding. “Alright then.”
Looking down at the tiny nose peaking out from the blanket, Clark smiled. “Welcome to the world, little Jor-El.”
