Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Between Two Worlds (6/?)

Between Two Worlds
By AmandaK

Summary: A coup on New Krypton sends Clark fleeing back to Earth with his nine-year-old “son,” Jor-El. He arrives in Smallville to find Lois and their son, Jon. Clark must now find his place on Earth once more, while helping Jor settle in and becoming the father Jon never had.

Author’s Note:
For the purposes of this story, Kryptonian dialogue will be noted by <>. Telepathic communication will be noted with []. Hopefully, this will be easy enough to follow.

Sorry for the long hiatus between chapters. Illness, time change, and pre-occupation with my ficlet series seriously derailed me here. This one is a bit shorter than the other chapters but it wraps up that first night so we can move on to the next day. Enjoy!

Chapter 6
SMALLVILLE – PRESENT

Lois was quiet as Clark finished recounting how he and Jor had escaped from New Krypton. While Jonathan and Martha peppered him with a few more questions, she silently went back over everything he had said – and everything he hadn’t.

Oh, he’d hit on all the highlights of his time on New Krypton – Jor’s birth, his involvement in the war, his injuries, and the events leading up to their escape – but he’d also left out a lot. Granted, ten years was a lot to cover in one night and she was sure more stories would be forthcoming later on. But, to paraphrase Perry White, she didn’t become a Pulitzer-winning investigative reporter because she could yodel.

He was hiding something.

At the very least, he was intentionally leaving something out. She could see it in his eyes and in the way he fidgeted during certain parts of his story. She could hear it in the pauses and carefully phrased sentences.

She hadn’t noticed at first. Clark had been riding the high of being home and seeing his family again all evening. Whatever clouds he might have carried with him from New Krypton were temporarily banished by his joy at seeing her and his folks, meeting Jon, and having his first proper meal in ten years. But now, after reliving significant moments from his time on New Krypton, Clark seemed to be haunted by his past.

Lois was worried.

She knew well how Clark could hold himself responsible for things which were not his fault and shoulder all of the blame in situations where there was plenty to go around. So many instances came to mind – when he nearly gave up being Superman because Luthor was testing him; when he almost left Metropolis because the entire city had turned against him during the heatwave; when she’d been injured and he decided it wasn’t safe for them to be together. He had always been ridiculously hard on himself.

She had seen him in the aftermaths of countless rescues where he’d been just a few seconds too late or there had been no way to save everyone. She knew how he would dwell on every moment, analyzing, trying to find some way he could have been faster, stronger, better.

And now he was carrying ten years of guilt for all of the lives he had been unable to save on New Krypton – not to mention losing the two people he had come to consider family in all that time. He’d been without his powers, but Clark would hardly see that as an excuse.

How had he coped?

He’d mentioned that Zara and Ching had been there for him whenever they could but had he ever been able to truly escape it all?

He’d told her once that his job at the Planet, working with her, and just being Clark helped him be able to go back out and keep doing what he did as Superman. Did he ever have time to just be himself on New Krypton? Had he had any way to escape from the pressures of leading a world and leading a war and being so far away from home?

What would happen now that he was home? Would that haunted look in his eyes gradually fade as dark memories were driven away by happy events and endless love and support from his family? Would he talk to her or his parents about whatever it was he was hiding? Or would he continue to bottle it up?

Lois’ mind might have continued wandering down these paths of worry and concern had Jonathan not stood up and offered a hand to his wife. “Well,” the older man started. “I think it’s high time we headed to bed.”

Clark stood up as well and hugged his parents.

Martha cupped his face with both her hands, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I’m so glad you’re finally home.”

“Me too, Mom,” Clark answered with a soft smile.

Then the Kents headed off to their room, leaving Lois truly alone with Clark for the first time since he’d been home.

Lois looked up at Clark as he turned to face her. “Are you tired?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Not really. I got plenty of sleep on the ship. There wasn’t much to do.”

Lois patted the couch beside her and Clark sat down again. For several moments, they were both silent. Lois wondered if he was having as much trouble figuring out where to start as she was. What did you say to the love of your life who had been gone for ten years? So much had changed. Was it too much? Could they pick up where they left off? Could they start over? Where did they go from here?

Lifting her eyes to meet Clark’s, Lois’ breath caught in her chest. His deep brown eyes were gazing at her with such love and affection. Maybe a lot had changed, but that hadn’t. And that gave Lois hope. They’d figure this out somehow. They just needed a place to start.

She thought back to how she had started things earlier, when he’d first arrived, before he’d had a chance to explain things properly. She had made assumptions. Logical though they may have been, they were wrong. And she’d grown up enough in becoming a mother to swallow her pride and admit it.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier – when I assumed… about Jor,” she clarified at his confused glance.

Clark offered a small smile and shook his head. “You came to the most obvious conclusion. It isn’t your fault that things were… more complicated.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have said… shouldn’t have implied that you would…”

Now Clark’s smile bloomed into something resembling what she had seen when he first arrived, chasing away some of the shadows. He reached out, cupping her face just as he used to, so many years ago. “That I would ever betray the perfect woman?” his tone was light and teasing but Lois still shut her eyes and lowered her face in shame for doubting him.

Clark’s hand moved to her chin, prompting her to look up at him again. His free hand reached beneath the collar of his shirt, drawing out a golden chain with what would have been her wedding band dangling from the center. “There were days when this was all that kept me going.”

Lois nearly gasped in the sudden change in his voice. The teasing smile faded and the shadows crept back into his eyes. She waited for him to say more, but he stayed silent for longer than she expected, as though he’d gotten lost somewhere in his own mind and wasn’t sure how to get back.

She rested her hand on his leg and he blinked then shook his head as if to clear it. Then he smiled again, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You were my lifeline, Lois. When war and death were all around me, when I was injured and bed-ridden, when I just wanted it all to end – I’d see you standing there. Usually glaring,” he added with a small laugh. “And I’d hear your voice saying, don’t you dare give up, Clark Kent. And I’d pick myself up and keep going. Even when I wasn’t sure if I could ever come home, I knew you would never want me to stop trying. So, I didn’t.”

Lois nodded, somewhat overwhelmed by his words. She’d had her own moments of doubt over the years – moments when it all seemed to much, like she couldn’t possibly be the mother Jon deserved. Then she would see Clark smiling back at her through her boy’s beautiful eyes and she would know that she had to go on, no matter what. But the trials of motherhood were nothing compared to what Clark had faced.

“I can’t begin to imagine what it was like for you out there.” Lois finally said. “But you’re home now. And you’re safe.” She took his hand in hers and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill. “I don’t know where exactly we will go from here. There is a lot we still need to figure out. Too much for tonight. But no matter what, please know that I am here for you – if you need to talk or just need a hug. I’ll always be there for you. Jor too.”

Clark nodded. “Thank you, Lois.”

There was more to say. So much more. But there would be time for that later. And suddenly, Lois felt an inescapable desire to do something she hadn’t done in ten years. Leaning forward, she tilted her face to meet his lips in a kiss. It was light and tender. His mouth was soft against hers as he drew in a ragged breath. Surprised or simply overwhelmed, Lois wasn’t sure. But he didn’t pull away or push her back.

Slowly, his fingers caressed their way up her arm and then threaded into the hair behind her neck. He guided her head to the side for a better angle and then pressed his lips to hers more firmly. It was Lois’ turn to gasp for air, opening her mouth to him in silent invitation. How could something feel so familiar and so new at the same time? Lost memories of things she’d never dared to dream she would feel again came rushing back in a flood of awareness.

She remembered him – the feel of his body against hers, the sound of his voice as he breathed her name, the scent of him, the taste of him. It was all coming back to her and a part of her was more than ready to experience it all over again.

Yet, another part knew that it was too soon.

And Clark did too. He eased away from her slowly, his eyes dark with desire, his breathing heavy. Lois knew she must look much the same.

“We should probably get some sleep,” Clark whispered huskily.

Lois nodded mutely.

“You head on up. I’ll take the couch.”

Lois blinked, not having considered their sleeping arrangements for the night. She shook her head. “You just got home. You take the bed.”

But Clark wouldn’t be persuaded. “I grew up on this couch. It’s far more comfortable than any mattress on New Krypton.”

Lois’ mouth rebelled against her and the words she hadn’t meant to say slipped out. “It’s a big bed. We could share.”

For a moment, Clark’s eyes grew darker and she could see him waring with himself. Then he cupped her face again and smiled softly. “I would love nothing more than to hold you all night long, to relive the night before I left – this time knowing that I will still be there in the morning and the morning after and the morning after that. But… it’s been ten years and we still have so much to discuss. I don’t want to rush into things. I don’t want to mess this up.”

Lois placed her hand over his and nuzzled her cheek into his palm. “You’re right. I don’t want to rush things either. We have time now. We have so much time.” Unless this is all a dream. The unbidden thought caused her breath to catch in her throat.

“And I will still be here in the morning,” Clark promised as though he’d read her mind. He placed a chaste kiss on her cheek before pulling away. “Goodnight, Lois.”

Lois nodded and kept her eyes fixed on him as she headed toward the stairs. He was there. He would still be there tomorrow. He had come back to her. “Goodnight, Clark.”