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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi,
This week I was actually out of buffer, and I'd like to thank my beta readers for checking this section in record time, so that I could post only a little late.
I hope you enjoy, and I'll welcome your comments.
Yours Jenni
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. By now, Sara already told Jonathan and Martha where Lois was and they are probably expecting news. Too short! Why 16a?
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Ooh, more about Letour! With a less-talented writer, the pace of the last two or three sections would have dragged, but I can't point to any part that shouldn't be there. There aren't any puffy parts or unecessary scenes. It's solid, all the way through.
I think this story is so true to all the characters, not only to the known entities but to the ones you've established within the narrative. Lois's reactions to the doctors who hurt Clark but who now say they want to help is so very accurate. And Matt, the youth who's grown up without a father but who now sees a chance to make up for some of that loss, is portrayed so touchingly.
I can't wait to find out what Clark is going to say to them. Surely he's heard enough to figure out what's going on, what was done to him, and what was stolen from him. Even without the majority of his powers, I sure wouldn't want him mad at me!
Please fill up the buffer quickly. I'm eager to see the next chapter, whether it's seventeen or sixteen-B or whatever.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I agree with everything Terry said. This is a wonderfully character-driven story. All of these people - Clark/Letour, Lois, Matt, Marje, Mac, Adrienne and Stephan - are so amazingly and richly themselves. That's a fantastic accomplishment.
I thought this story would end soon. I may have been wrong about that. Because, again as Terry said, you know how to linger and describe the moments without ever making the story drag. And I'm not complaining, believe me: Please keep doing it!
Ann
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144 |
Oh, that´s horrible! The truth about what happened to Clark in North Korea... When I read Lois´ reaction - when she became quiet and spoke in a low tone... that´s when angry people are really dangerous. I have this trait myself, so I know very well about it. I was surprised that Matt didn´t come out. So there are kyptonite-coated chips in his brain. But why has he regained a small part of his powers? Is he getting partially immune against it after the long time of exposure? That would be a great result of this big evil! And I love the way Matt is working around in the house! “I wouldn't know about that, Marje. You should see his room!” Please continue, soon!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89 |
I so agree, Cornelia. That's one of the things I love about Jenni's writing. The wry humor of very 'human' moments, like Lois complaining about her teenager's room. Jenni knows just when to break the tension for us. The characters in the story are really well drawn. Matt is a pretty 'typical' though 'super' teen. His emotions are volatile. Though he's a wonderful young man, Jenni shows us through his actions that he is not yet an adult. Mac and Marje are warm individuals you wish you knew.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 19
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 19 |
Jenni, this was another great chapter. The previous posters have already stated my thoughts. And have done so very well. I, too, am really curious about Letour's reaction to what he's heard. Please, get all of them over to Bernie's lab. He'll know what to do. I have gone from thinking I'd really not like such a dark story to starting to check the site on Thursdays and Friday mornings, and Friday afternoons. I'm dying to have things resolved, but then I wonder what I'll do when you're finished. I hope real life is treating you well. Marge
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 18
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 18 |
Jenni, I haven't written to express my praise for this story yet, but I have been enjoying it immensely. It has become something of a Saturday morning ritual to sit down and read the next part. I think the posters before me in this thread have expressed many of the qualities that I enjoy about this story, that hold me in suspense all week and keep me coming back for more each Saturday (or gnashing my teeth when I am prevented from doing so like I was this week). I have one small nitpick that I have to make, as a brain doc in real life... Stephan says (and I hope I get the quote thingies right): “I'll do what I can. There are two chips; one was placed here, in the temporal lobe....” Stephan tapped the side of his own head, deciding to drop the medical terminology. “The other at the back of his skull. The theory was that the first would block his memory, while the second would change his personality... his sense of identity.” I can let the temporal lobe one pass-- technically it is the right place for memory, but the kind of memory problem it would present is a Memento like amnesia-- inability to learn new info-- if and only if both sides were lesioned. (As a tangent, total loss of retrograde memory is a very difficult thing to achieve, and you really don't see it outside of psychogenic amnesia-- which is the way you're really gonna be going here, with the reprogramming-- b/c memories are distributed throughout the cortex.) But also near the temporal lobe is the limbic system, which would be ideal for messing with for the re-programming they did (i.e., it controls emotional experiences and is closely linked with memory and emotion). However, the one that got my brain geek going was the "back of the skull" implant. The only thing that would do is give him a blind spot. Back of the brain (occipital lobe) is used for the visual system almost exclusively. The frontal lobes, OTOH, are more what you're aiming for if you want personality change. It probably wouldn't create the kind of personality change you'd want (socially inappropriate or inert or really, really distractible are some possibilities), but it's fiction and it's a Kryptonian brain and you can play. :-) Plus, the frontal lobe gives you the added benefit of controlling in part the retrieval of memories, so that would work doubly so. Plus, removal (or implantation) of the device in the frontal lobe would be a delicate thing most likely, which is exactly what your story calls for. Okay, I'll shut off the brain geek now. I really am enjoying this story in every way, and I look forward to reading more. I can't wait to see this family reunion... Hutch
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