Hi Mary!
His Story
Slooooowly catching up!
In the darkened storage room of the Daily Planet, not a creature was stirring.
Oh, Dr Seuss Christmas themed?
Hiding Lois’s present hadn’t been easy.
Hiding it in the supply closet?
CLARK: Lois never goes there by herself ever since she almost got caught unwrapping her Valentine’s gift. Good thing Jimmy bought the excuse of her needing three full boxes of copier paper and a strong man to carry them.
In fact, it probably would have been impossible if he’d been restricted to normal means.
He could hide it in his closet dimension?
It made her a daunting opponent and a wonderful ally, and he was a lucky man to have her as the latter most of the time.
“Ho, ho, ho!”
[…] “No, no, no! Tempus, not today!”
Fun alliteration! He’s also lucky he caught the boy scout instead of the missus. The greeting might have been misunderstood and resulted in damages.
“Don’t you know that Christmas is a time for truces?
/Watches in horror as Tempus hands over a filled stocking, warm and slightly damp to the touch/
Sorry, but Tempus is using so much wordplay!
Have some comfort and joy: I’m here to invite you to a party!”
Celebrating the first day of Superman’s disappearance?
Clark blinked against the brighter light. He seemed to be standing in a massive ballroom, surrounded by people in fine suits and elegant dresses.
Did Tempus invite Clark to the White Orchid ball? Or to the wedding of Superman’s daughter? There was this one Kerth quiz…
They all chatted softly while a string quartet at the far end of the room played ‘Deck the Halls’,
Oh, it’s a Barty. Bat-arty?
He looked down at himself: apparently, he was no longer…well, himself. His free hand froze half-way to the strange new curves on his torso; the plunging neckline of a long, black gown showed him that the source of these shapes was...organic. Clark swallowed. Those were… He had… A dress! He was wearing a dress!
There *was* discussion on Discord recently about Clark and Lois switching bodies. But this story predates. And that’s not Lois’s dress from the WOB, is it?
save for one dark-haired man in a suit that probably cost more than Clark’s annual salary.
Sounds extremely Batty to me.
The eye-contact was apparently enough of an invitation for the man to come over, and he grinned roguishly at Clark while idly swirling the remnants of a drink. “You alright, Beautiful?”
And now I’m pretty sure Clark’s not wearing Selina’s dress. And Bats is in full-out fop-mode. So, before Bruce and Selina resolved their UST?
Yeah, sorry, Evie spoilered me there.
it was certainly enough to leave a lasting impression.
Only time Superman got knocked out without prior exposure to kryptonite?
BRUCE: /pulls bat-glove tighter over shiny, green-studded ring/
He then spent an absurd portion of the evening hitting on Lois, despite her protestations that she was happily married,
Someone not recognizing his wife’s curves and dress from that angle?
The man would never know how close he’d come to being put straight through a wall, and that would have been *before* Clark got to him.
Oh, does Lois no longer enjoy the attention of debonair billionaires? This must be a recent development.
An arm suddenly came up around Clark’s shoulders, pulling him close, and the playboy’s breath was hot against his ear. “Want to get out of here?”
Worried about a Joker attack, are we?
Despite the dramatic difference in Clark’s physique, he apparently still had his Kryptonian speed.
The sounds of the party reached him from the mansion, perfectly uninterrupted.
Okay, he still got powers, just a chromosome update. And he skipped out on Bruce?
With any luck, Mr. Wayne would be too drunk to realize just how literally Clark had disappeared.
Bruce *did* suggest it
and while he had no idea about the Superman costume,
A stylish two-parter, panties and cape, will ensure no one will look at his face.
he could find her, everything would be all right.
Uh-huh?
and she’d told Clark how uncanny the resemblance to their own world had been.
You don’t need to invest in new sets when shooting the episode…
The familiar sound of locks turning brought a smile to his face, though it vanished when Lois opened the door and scowled at him. “What are *YOU* doing here?!”
Oh dear. You went the x-quartet way? And what did the meter maid do to tuck off mad dog?
“What’s the matter? Prince Charming turned back into a frog?”
Lois not happy that her former associated partner/ not-a-bff got the date with Lex?
“Oh, I figured that out a long time ago!” Lois slid the chain back into its position and marched towards him. “You know, you really had me fooled with the whole ‘sweet farm girl’ act!
Yeah, those baggy sweatshirts hid the super figure?
“But I don’t know what you could possibly say that would make up for abandoning journalism to marry Gotham’s biggest airhead!”
Not in a million years!
/Re-reads the batty part/
Oh. I see. She’s in on the fop.
“So, you—or rather, Claire—is Superwoman?!”
Oops?
“It means the best friend I ever had wasn’t just another fake.”
Oh boy. So why did Claire run away with the fop? Is he just a beard to mask her feelings or is she into bat-stuff.
“Hey, if you’re an alternate version of Claire, can you give me any insight on why she didn’t just tell me herself?”
Umm …
But…I guess those things go a little farther than I realized.”
No, she just needed someone to hang out with on rooftops.
His face felt warm. “At least Luthor had more intelligence than a brick.”
Yes. Although, it only took Claire one good look to look through the pointy-eared façade.
And hey, I bet that Bruce Wayne’s constant obliviousness makes it easy for Claire to keep her secret from him.”
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/smilie/figuren/g080.gif)
His eyebrows rose. “You think she didn’t tell her own husband?”
Nope, she didn’t tell him.
“I wouldn’t.” Lois snorted. “I’ll grant you that he seems to be much better behaved since marrying Claire,
Whether it’s whip or heat vision, good women do keep their bats in a row.
That man probably couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it!”
This was the first time he’d ever had to borrow any of her clothing,
Not a kinky couple, huh?
PRIME LOIS: I don’t need him ruining my heels.
though there had certainly been many occasions where Lois had borrowed his.
Yes. And there could have been more early on if he hadn’t been stubborn and let Lois borrow his cape.
They had just reached Lois’s desk when Perry approached them, staring perplexedly at Clark. “Claire?”
CLAIRE: Bruce kept bringing stray cats home. I’m not a cat person.
that you and your husband arrived at a party together but left separately. Heck, they’re saying that you eighty-sixed the place before cocktails were even served!”
No, she did not intentionally leave her husband alone, randy, and drunk at a party with dressed-to-kill women.
Not long after Perry’s departure, Jimmy came bounding up to them. “CK! Or, uh, I guess CW now?”
CW? Now you’re rubbing it in.
And unrelated, is he calling her “see-dubs”? /Hopes Bruce is smart enough to refrain from calling Claire “kitten” or “my beautiful rose”.
“Uh, good, thanks.” Clark gave what he hoped was an easy-going smile. “And you?”
“Oh, good. Keeping busy, you know.” Jimmy
Oh dear. She gave him her killer smile. And when Gothamites give you a killer smile, it’s time to relocate to some hilltop.
I see.” Clark glanced at Lois. She had bitten down on her lip and was staring fixedly at her computer screen.
I take it, Claire was too sociable to shut down Jimmy’s crush early on?
Actually, Jimmy, we need a list of any scientists or laboratories that might be researching parallel universes.”
There’s one Prof. Dr. Maximilian Arturo at the California University.
“He has a crush on you,” she whispered back.
See?
“—brings you to the Planet, Mr. Wayne?”
Oops? Looking for his wayward wife.
Clark made it to the storage room just as the elevator chimed.
Looks like hubby *really* shouldn’t have brought the cat home night before the party.
why would a man whose wife had vanished be smiling and care-free?
Because as far as Batman knows, all Kryptonite is accounted for and on a one-way trip to the sun.
“Lois! Long time, no see! How’s tracks?”
Her confused expression was quickly replaced with a polite smile. “I think you mean ‘how’s tricks’. Work’s been good. How are you?”
Oooh, nice fopping!
“Or did Claire already give you the number when you talked to her?”
“I haven’t talked to her,” Lois sweetly reminded him.
He’s a smart Chiroptera humanis.
“Just give a call when you’re not busy scooping your bylines!”
“That’s not—!” Lois sighed again
So much talent!
The device underneath it continued to whine.
Sweet. He left her a beeper and when she squashes it, he’ll know she’s at the office. He’ll know she’s not his wife. He will know she’s from another dimension. He will not know which dimension exactly.
You know, I hope for Claire’s sake that idiot is at least good in—”
In a suit?
The man who needs a butler to remind him how to put on pants?
Yes. He also uses a butler to put on the Suit.
Clark stared out over the horizon. “How do you feel about a flight to Kansas?”
Good thing there’s more!
Michael
