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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.  "What's the matter, chump? Never seen a girl before?"
Clark wisely chose not to reply.
"Is that what you are? I wondered about the lumps on your chest."
Correction: Clark foolishly chose to reply.
"Now listen here, you big fancy-pants sissy-boy..."
"LOIS! CLARK! Back off, both of you!" Perry hollered. Lane and Kent backed away from each other, still fuming. "Now, I believe you two have gotten started on the wrong foot. Let's start over, shall we?" Neither objected. "All right then. Clark, this is Lois Lane; one of the greatest horse-trainers the world has ever known. Lois, this here is Clark Kent; he's the new hand I hired -- " 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Well, I can tell this is going to be a wild ride Post more, soon  PJ
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
A bit short but definitely an interesting start. Nice little elseworlds setting. How unusual, Lois is not welcoming Clark with open arms.  Looking forward to more. Tank (who is a little confused as to the time period this piece might be set it)
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Definitely a different style of story we're used to. I'm pegging this to be roughly the mid- to late- 1800's as a time period.
I find it interesting that neither Lois nor Clark seem to like each other when first introduced. It would be intriguing to see how these two interact when they're not at each other's throats.
I look forward to reading the next segment!
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27 |
Hi, all! Thanks for all the wonderful feedback. I didn't think it'd go over this well.  Part two is already written. I tried to submit it as a sequel while part one was in cue(sp?) and LabRat told me that the archives don't take stories in chunks. I'll post part2 ASAP. Tank, you weren't the only one confused about the time period. I showed the story to my Dad, and he assumed it was in the 20th century (because Supes was invented in 1938). Yes, it's intended as 1800's. Thanks again for the feedback. (I assume FDK is the proper abreviation?) I'm glad y'all like it. 
~•~
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
This was a very interesting beginning!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27 |
Originally posted by rivka: This was a very interesting beginning!  Well, you're too late; I'm addicted already.
~•~
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Posts: 767
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Mary
good part
interesting beginning
can't wait to see where you take us
merry
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Joined: Oct 2023
Posts: 168 Likes: 19
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2023
Posts: 168 Likes: 19 |
Wait, wait, wait. Did you mean to link to this story on the Sunshine Superman FDK? What is this gem I've just stumbled into and why are there only two chapters (haven't read chapter 2 yet but I already want more). The bickering at the end there was so much fun. "What's the matter, chump? Never seen a girl before?"
Clark wisely chose not to reply.
"Is that what you are? I wondered about the lumps on your chest."
Correction: Clark foolishly chose to reply.
"Now listen here, you big fancy-pants sissy-boy..." Quoting to proove it has WORDS for the scavenger hunt but also because 🤣
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,096 Likes: 27 |
Heehee! Happy April Fools. This story is proof that, once upon a time, I was new to these boards. XD
~•~
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,894 Likes: 49
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,894 Likes: 49 |
Carlos returned the shake earnestly. “Thank you, Sir. I'm definitely grateful for the time spent working here.” He turned around and reached for the door, keeping his gaze away from the mock-up and its pasted headline.
Florida Man Survives in Car Thrown by Hurricane, Claims Angel Rescue Yes indeed, that is our Clark... uh, Carlos. Maria is definitely missed. 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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