This is just something I came up with while at work and jotted down once I was home. Hope yall enjoy. 
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There once was a man who was a pig farmer. He had several breeds, including some obscure ones that had been popular in the confederacy during the American Civil War; the highlight of his career came when he found a boar from a rare breed named after John Wilkes Booth and was able to proliferate it among his herds. Overall, he was successful and obtained a modest profits from his ventures.
However, he wasn't satisfied with his income from the pigs, so he decided to diversify. After much deliberation, he chose to invest in the manufacturing of helium. He laid out the monies for both the production equipment and necessary storage facilities and had them built on his farmland.
Well, one day, a mishap occurred which set the pigs loose. They somehow found their way into one of the storage facilities and got into the helium. When the man rushed into the building to assess the damage, he found all of his pigs floating in mid-air! Mercifully, they were contained inside the building, and so none had floated off into the horizon; even so, they were bumping against the ceiling in a state of clear distress.
Lacking a better idea, the man called his usual veterinarian. After he explained the situation, the old doctor gave him his advice: “Don't panic. Believe it or not, I've seen this happen before; just tether them all to the ground so that they don't float away, then wait for a couple of hours.”
The man did so, tying all of his swine to cables which he anchored into the ground. After a few tense hours, the pigs slowly lowered until their feet were once again on solid earth. Relieved, the man called his veterinarian back and asked what to do next.
“It's almost over,” the vet reassured him. “Go ahead and release all the male pigs, but make sure that the females stay tied.”
Slightly confused but also relieved, the man untethered every male pig. The boars and male piglets quickly scampered back to their pens while the females stayed behind, still attached to the ropes. After another hour passed, the female pigs began slowly lifting into the air once more! Panicked, the man called his veterinarian.
“Yes, yes, I expected as much,” said the veterinarian. “It'll be fine. Just wait a while, like you did the first time.”
Nervously, the man waited. Another hour passed, then two. Finally, the female pigs drifted back down to earth as before. The man called the vet and told him what was happening.
“That's good,” the vet assured him. “You can go ahead and release them too, now. The crisis is over.”
“But why did they suddenly float back up?” The man asked, bewildered.
“It's a known trait,” said the vet, “unique to those old confederate breeds: the sows will rise again.”
